It's time for another installment of Meet the Neighbors, a semi-regular feature in which we wander around Sam & Max's world, meet people, and look at stuff.
Today we're talking to Jimmy Two-Teeth, the lovable little hoodlum who makes his home in Sam & Max's office walls.Thanks for joining us today, Jimmy. Tell us, how exactly did you come to take up residence in the Freelance Police office?
Hey, I didn't choose those clowns. I wake up one morning when a golf ball hits me in the head, and I come out and there they are, cardboard boxes everywhere and they’re playing some kinda weird game where they’re hitting stuff with a waffle iron and using my front door as a target. I complained to the landlord, but you know how that goes. You say the words "pest problem" and all of a sudden they remembered a sick aunt they gotta go look in on.How many of you are there living in that little hole?
What are you, the census? I don't gotta tell you nothing. The membership roles of the Benevolent Brotherhood of Vermin are private. Just so's you know there's enough of us to kick your scrawny tail if you come sniffing around.
[readmore]Did you always want to be a con-rat when you grew up? If not, what was your childhood dream?
Con-rat? You got Jimmy Two-Teeth all wrong. I'm in sales and marketing! Not that, you know, not that I always wanted to do that or anything... no, when I was a pinky I wanted to be a fireman! I was always playing with matches and kerosene and all that. While other kids chewed holes in the baseboards and scared housewives, I was lighting fires like they was candy! Yeah, but then later on when I applied to the Arson Academy, they said I was too small. The crumbs – I showed 'em what was what, but I still didn't get to be a fireman. But I'm happy where I am, and I ain’t done nothing you wouldn't do if you was in the same situation.I understand you're a little acrophobic. Have you been over to visit Sybil? She could probably help you work through that.
You mean that psycho-lady down the block? I got a cousin lives in the walls of that building, and he tells me stories. Weird stories. You won’t catch Jimmy Two-Teeth near any kind of therapy, psycho, hypno, aroma or otherwise. Anyway, I ain't crazy: staying away from high places is just plain common sense.Where did you get your hat?
I don't like what you're implying. I won this hat, fair and square. Did Robby the Vig tell you otherwise? 'Cause if he did, he's lying.We hear Swiss cheese is a favorite of yours. Any Swiss cheese recipes you'd like to share with our readers?
I do like a good Swiss cheese. Emmenthaler is one of my favorites. And I recommend your readers try Jimmy Two-Teeth's Patented Fondue Spa recipe: you heat up a nice bottle of white wine in a pot, see, and then you melt in about three or four pounds of grated Swiss cheese. Get it to a comfortable temperature, then hop in with a few scraps of whatever you got lying around and a couple of friends, and enjoy.Jimmy's rat hole is located in the west wall of Sam & Max's office, under the bulletin board.