Welcome back to Meet the Neighbors, a semi-regular feature in which we wander around Sam & Max's world, meet people, and look at stuff.
Today we're talking to Sybil Pandemik, a jill-of-all-trades who hangs her shingle not too far from Freelance Police headquarters.
Thanks for agreeing to answer some questions, Sybil.
Of course! It's what a psychotherapist does, after all. Answer questions, I mean, not agree. Not necessarily, anyway. Ha. Are you recording this?
Interesting office you've got here. The sign out front says tattoo artist and psychotherapist. Who is the real Sybil?
It's true, I was working in body art recently, but psychotherapy is my true calling. It's taken weeks of dedicated study, but I'm fully accredited now and ready to help the public at large. Perhaps you could use a little gear adjustment yourself? Tell me about your mother.
*Ahem*. You know, that guy Bosco down the street seems like he could use some therapy. Has he ever been in to see you?
The inconvenience store guy? No. I don't think he ever leaves that store. I'm not sure I could work with him, anyway. I mean, he's clearly got some major issues. Woo woo woo, you know what I mean? He's definitely a wacko. Although I probably could get a paper out of him, maybe even a whole book. Hm. Maybe I could make a housecall. I wonder if that's against the rules?
Why did you decide to make the move from tattooing into psychotherapy?
Oh, I love tattooing, don't get me wrong, but then somebody left a pamphlet in here one day and I knew I'd found my calling. And I don't mean like the taxidermy or the crop dusting or the plant kennel -- psychotherapy is really it this time. I'm home.
You were a crop duster?
Well, sort of. Let's just say there was a little misunderstanding about what was actually involved.
Do you get many patients in this location?
You'd be amazed at how many of the people I tattooed now need therapy. Then again, who doesn't?
Of all the tattoos you've given people, what's your favorite?
I did this one on a guy's back that was a picture of the whole solar system, and all the planets were represented by fruits and vegetables. Then when the astronomers decided the grape wasn't a planet after all I had to turn it into a space ship with a little green guy flying it. I thought it came out pretty good, but the guy's girlfriend said the alien looked like her and she got all mad.
I notice you've had some ink done yourself. Any hidden tattoos you want to tell us about?
God no! Well... OK. I've got one over here, near my heart. It's a zipper!
Have you always lived around here? If not, where are you from?
I don't consider myself to be from anywhere in particular -- I mean, I did grow up not far from here, out in the suburbs if you want to know the truth, but then I think I grew up a lot more later on, after I left home. Philadelphia, Muncie, Fairbanks -- I've lived a lot of places. Citizen of Earth, right? Except now I've got a three-year lease on this storefront, so I guess I'll be staying a while.
Do you run into Sam and Max often? Any professional observations you'd like to make about their psyches?
Oh, I could go on for days. One of them seems to think he's a dog, and the tall one has a few wrinkles in the fabric as well, you know? Also, they clearly have repressed Jungian memory-angst displacement. Textbook case. I should know, I've got the textbook.
What do you like to do for fun? Other than analyze people and stick them with tiny motorized needles, I mean.
These days I mostly like to curl up in a big chair with a glass of wine and a Barbara Kingsolver novel. Is that weird? I feel like I'm becoming my parents, but somehow dressing up and waltzing in a cemetery all night just doesn't do it for me any more.
Have you had any vivid dreams lately that you'd like to share?
I can't tell you about my dreams, that would violate doctor-patient privilege. I think.
Anything else you'd like to tell us about yourself?
I think you may be a little unclear about how this relationship works. I'M the therapist. So let's hear about YOU. Here, lie down on this couch, take a look at this abstract Celtic tattoo design, and tell me what you see....
We regret that the remainder of this interview, while fascinating, cannot be released as it would constitute a violation of doctor-patient privilege.
Thanks for spending the afternoon with us, Sybil. Your answers were illuminating and the therapy was... err... also illuminating. Meet the Neighbors is a regular feature of the Telltale Blog, aiming to enlighten our community to the businesses around us. If you'd like to see your business or other semi-legitimate establishment in this section, please contact our sales and advertising department.
Sybil's is located on on the corner of the dead end, right next to the former home of Lefty's Tool Emporium.