This discussion may contain spoilers!
For your safety/sanity, I have spoilered the parts that would be considered rants.
I understand it left out was due to tech difficulties, but I really would have liked point and click movement.
I got stuck very early on since there were no real clues as to where certain puzzles were--not to mention seemingly useless items being the solutions to a problem. For me, I had no idea the anchor would trigger a coal fire. I saw the oil and thought "fire!", and I searched the whole fricking island and there was no fire. The clothesline did not catch my attention at all until hours later and the clue as to where the card was did not lead me to the socks at all!
Hints should be directly in the dialogue or associated with certain items, and not placed in random places in unrelated things. The glass blower's glass breaking horn should have been used specifically only on items labeled as "glass", or "unbreakable glass". This was a problem when you encounter the "crystal nose". How hard would it have been to make it an "unbreakable glass nose", or if you want to be more subtle, at least make all the glass items the same color. Or at LEAST make Guybrush try to break it and say, "Guess that's not gonna work". Indirect hints are better than NONE AT ALL.
I understand that some puzzles take time to solve but when you solve it, you're supposed to go, "OHHH, it's so obvious now!", not, "...what?? Are you kidding???"
ex 1. On Guybrush's boat with the monkey coffin. Use monkey coffin with special monkey? Logical... "use" monkey coffin to open and find flat root beer? Not so much.
ex 2. Use breath mints on grog. Uhhh, why is it flat again? Using repetition with puzzles is never good. There's no point since the first puzzle was solved this way to begin with.
ex 3. Use chain to get onto ship so that the captain will throw hot coals on you. What?? Just having to use that as a puzzle title is terrible to begin with! Who even does that in the first place? Oh, a person is trying to get on board my ship to take command! I guess I'll DROP HOT COALS ON HIM.
ex 4. Find club membership card in random socks. This is not a good solution to a puzzle, especially when the hint was "I lost it when I first became captain of the Narwhal." It makes absolutely no sense. In 2 years, not once has the captain worn socks. Not once has he reeled in his laundry? Not once has he put on those pink pantalons? Also, putting two solutions into the same place is never a good idea. Each object should have a sole purpose. It's fine if you can use the item in more than one place, but never put two solutions to two separate problems in the same place, especially when it's not in the same object. This could easily mislead people to thinking they're done. They could have easily put the sock in a random place for us to find. They could even have included a hint like, "I lost it way back when I first became captain of the Narwhal. I'd wager it's because I lost my lucky sock. It's always one sock you know? They just disappear!"
ex 5. The tar puzzle. Seriously? Okay, man the wheel. Have posessed hand smack it and then turn the ship wildly. Pretty funny. Use cannon to break barrel? Logical. Look at map to get into fight with hand in order to get stuck in the tar?? What?? Why dont I just stick my hand in the tar to begin with? This just doesn't make any sense.
ex 6. The map puzzle. There is no clear demarcation of the order of steps. This made the puzzle harder than it needed to be. Also, it was not obvious that you should use the map with the wishing well. Just putting a picture of a hand gripping a map next to the well could easily mean "START FROM HERE", not PUT THE MAP OVER THE WELL TO START THE PUZZLE FOR NO EXPLAINED REASON.
ex 7: The 2nd map puzzle. Are you serious? ANOTHER one? Wasnt the first one bad enough? There wasn't even anything funny that happens along the way. This seemed tedious and entirely pointless. Was there even a point?? Isn't this game supposed to be fun??? And use the wind? I mean, considering how the first puzzle worked, it would make sense to follow the SOUND of the wind on the paths. Not pull out your weather vane to see where it's blowing. Why not just put a picture of the weather vane? I know alot of people had trouble with this one.
ex 8: The marquis totem. Okay, I thought this was pretty funny, until I realized you couldn't stuff the vane into his ###. So I pulled out the weather vane to see if I could see the face. There was one last face, and since it had not been used yet, it should have been that one by process of elimination, right? Unfortunately, Guybrush hardly holds the damned thing out for more than 2 seconds so I ended up pulling it out two more times to figure out which eyes, nose and mouth to use for the final god. It worked. I had NO idea that the actual solution was to use the Marquis' vocal ows, ees and moans of pleasure (???) to figure how it went. I DID like that they made you use a wheel of cheese on the imprint of the jail cell inscriptions, showing that someone broke it deliberately to decorate the windows. Using the theme of the island as a solution to a puzzle was at least some sort of brilliance.
ex 9. The tar puzzle. Seriously? Okay, man the wheel. Have posessed hand smack it and then turn the ship wildly. Pretty funny. Use cannon to break barrel? Logical. Look at map to get into fight with hand in order to get stuck in the tar?? What?? Why dont I just stick my hand in the tar to begin with? This just doesn't make any sense.
Bad jokes/continuity problems:
Character continuity: Guybrush's extreme porcelain phobia. At first mention, Guybrush didn't react whatsoever. He only does so when he picks up the doll, while he wouldn't even have touched in past games. Yeah, he vocalizes his discontent, yet he touches it anyways. Could have easily have been a plastic doll.
Character continuity: Elaine's love-hate for Guybrush. Elaine was always a tomboy: she was a female pirate who was the governor of a tri island area for pirates. She fought off advances of typical pirate men (Fester Shinetop), and she never needed saving, as she has proven to Guybrush time and time again... except in the 3rd when she ended up turned to gold--but that was Guybrush's fault to begin with. The whole point to her character is that she never really needs saving, and that's all she did this time around, aside from being lovey-dovey.
Continuity: Guybrush's mention about the "mother in law visit": ELAINE'S MOTHER DOES NOT PLAY AN ACTIVE ROLE IN HER LIFE. Aside from Herman Toothrot, she has not had any family play an active role in her life, and that was not necessarily canon, at least in many fans eyes.
Hispanic pirate with fruity accent that plays with dolls. Enough said.
D'oro the explorer. It didn't even rhyme. And seriously? D'oro the explorer? Seriously??
Bad joke: U-tube. It should have been either really obvious, or not there at all. There seemed to be a vague reference to it, but there werent really any jokes relating the glass U to youtube. At least ones that were evident or funny IMO.
Bad joke: God of breaking wind. :\ Toilet humor? Really?
General: Marquis de Singe. The perfume kiosk merchant in EFMI was a pretty funny character. He was french, snooty and wore a powdered wig/white makeup. Basically, the Marquis is a rehash of this character, only much more effeminate, cheesy and demented. Not that I hated his character, but it seemed in poor taste to do something that's already been done. Unfortunately the guy providing the voice for him didn't seem to have a good grasp on a French accent. It was extremely inconsistent, which grated on my nerves.
Forgettable Driftwood... I mean Seepgood. I mean Mancomb! Wait, what? They way overdid this one. Geepwood, sheepwood, dogwood, manhood! It's just not funny after the 9000th time!
Wait... that's not what I chose! Why is he saying something else! My god. It was hilarious in the first game. But that was only one set of lines, with one person, and it was because Guybrush was momentarily stupefied by the stunning beauty that is Elaine Marley.
Lack of memorable characters:
This is a big one! I can't even remember any of the minor characters names, aside from the Marquis de Singe, and that was only because Dominic Armato was the only one to mispronounce the name. Their quirks were not at all amusing either. A glassblower that... well, he was just a glassblower. Then there was the legless drunk that was... uh. Well he... had a magical spyglass... for some... reason?
This is a work in progress... Please don't complain in this thread. Disagreeing with some points is fine, but you saw the title and you knew what was coming.
edit: It seems people are mistaking my criticism with my extreme difficulties with the game. I played through the game fine. I didn't cry and sob over how I had to spend 10 seconds to realize that I had to use the vane to figure out the wind direction on the 2nd map puzzle or anything. I'm just making a point.