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Monkey Island 5 SUCKS!

posted by Rather Dashing on - last edited - Viewed by 3K users

Everyone is talking about Monkey Island 1-4, but few remember to mention fan-favorite "Monkey Island 5". This epic, 40-hour super experience is heralded for having all the features anyone who hates episodes could ever want.

But really, was it all that great?

First of all, it's just a re-tread of everything that has come before. Oh, have to get near-useless crew. How original. Banishing LeChuck's latest form, though admittedly this has become more of a series staple, I thought that they could have come up with better than a "glowy" Zombie LeChuck. I mean, really, what was up with that?

The ending was non-existent! We spend a HUGE chunk of this 40-hour game crafting the Cursed Cutlass of Kaflu. We found AGAIN all of these items that were in the other games, from a voodoo doll to the Ultimate Insult(ugh) to defeat LeChuck. And when we find all but the fizzy root beer...the game just ends. Abruptly. I mean, we didn't even get a conclusion until recently in Tales of that story. And while it was an epic ending, to be sure, wouldn't it have been more fitting to leave it in its own game? Surely Monkey Island 5 wouldn't have suffered so much if it didn't completely lack an ending.

Why did we have to go to so much trouble to get a monkey coffin, anyway? It wasn't used in the course of Monkey Island 5, so what is the point of that anyway?

And LeChuck stealing monkies? It's a bit hard to swallow, and this is for a series that can get pretty thick in shtick.

Speaking of LeChuck, even *I* can't believe how he ended up surviving the ending of Escape from Monkey Island.

Monkey Island 5 is a HUGE game, that's to be sure. But if one is to go by quality rather than quantity, it's obvious that it is a severe failure compared to Tales of Monkey Island already.

Yes, this is a play on the whole "After Monkey Island 5" business. Sue me.

262 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • Maybe not Telltale, but I think LucasArts have taken the idea of Lego Monkey Island as their next game.

  • This thread is great :D

    Monkey Island 5 was fine and all but did think the part where Elaine and Guybrush went to watch PotC was a little... well, weird.

  • LOL awesome post.. almost thought you were being serious there.

  • Heh, no, I thought it was pretty good despite the ending. Took me a while to realise i had to use the Bubblegum Malcolm Archer Statue with the Bottle o' Spume to release the cursed monkey of Blood Island, but after that it was pretty straightforward.

  • @adventureaddict said: I agree. And the way you could pop Murray onto any other lego body made for amusements.

    It was funny, but kind of disappointing, that all Murry could actually do when you put him on a body was stroke fuzzy kittens.

  • @Shoelip said: It was funny, but kind of disappointing, that all Murry could actually do when you put him on a body was stroke fuzzy kittens.

    Didn't you try using him with the Gates of Hell? I thought that was pretty funny, albeit VERY disturbing.

  • The part with Guybrush getting addicted to life crystals was funny... until the story decided to make it into a serious tragic drama, in which Guybrush almost committed suicide.

    Also, the Jar-Jar Binks cameos throughout the game? Not cool, Lucas.

  • I was surprised to learn that the orichalcum beads were the source of LeChuck's power. And remember when Elaine was possessed by Nur-Ab-Sal?

  • Didn't care for Guybrush talking about jews in that way. Really uncalled for.

  • I found it worse than Escape from Monkey Island, but it's not a completely bad game. It's just not a good Monkey Island game.

    Things I disliked:

    - arcade mini games:
    Murray bowling, canibbals pac man. Was it necessary to include that kind of stuff?

    - Monkey Kombat II - enough said

    - I hate the fact that the game is really like Escape from Monkey Island 2. They really exhagerated with all the self-parodies and anachronisms. Le Chuck's mall? Largo Convenience Store? Stan previously owned Aye-Pods? C'mon! The game just feels wrong! I also don't want day time islands. Just night or late afternoon. It feels more Monkey-ish

    - why do they keep changing Guybrush look? Just stick to LCR look!

    - Insult swordfighting... How could they get it so wrong this time? Who wrote these insults?

    - idiotic mazes! If the game is going to last so much, I don't want to spend half the time in mazes

    - plotholes, unanswered questions: so, what's the secret of Monkey Island? Is Lechuck Guybrush brother?

    - Why there are so many Gorillas and so few chimps in this game? It doesn't feel Monkey-ish. I liked the three headed monkey appearence though.

    What I liked:

    graphics: Wow! Using Euphoria engine is a great idea . Seeing Guybrush moving realistically when he is throwed by the cannon and watching him fall to the ground is so cool. I also loved when you throw Murray in Murray bowling and the purple tentacles react like a blob of goo thanks to Digital Molecular Matter engine. I love the full 3d engine and the ammount of polygons in the characters and the fact that the backgrounds are so detailed. And it's a shame the shadows are not so well used as the game is mostly in day time. But overall the game looks and feels like a Pixar movie, which is really good in my book, but you need a really powerful system to play it. Even if your PC can run Crysis in high, it will struggle to run Monkey Island 5 in medium detail.

    - The music: having the ¡Muse sound system with no compressed digital sound is really fantastic. And Dominic Armato and Michael Land always help in the quality department.

    - It leads up to a much better adventure: Tales of Monkey Island!

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