User Avatar Image

Telltale, you've really screwed us over this time!

posted by Secret Fawful on - last edited - Viewed by 1.2K users

How dare you take two great adventure series and turn them into two great adventure games! What the HELL is the matter with you, damn it! How dare you! I mean what were you thinking!? Are you insane! How could you do this to us, Telltale!? It's all ruined now. Your image, your ability to tell stories and make great games! I'm so mad over this great deal you've made with Universal I could very well PEE MY PANTS! Is that what you want? For me to pee my pants? Is that what this is all about Telltale, proving your superiority in bladder control? Oh well GOOD FOR YOU. I hope you're happy. Oh, and I don't like Yare anymore either, the bastard. I hope Dave Grossman's hair starts to uncurl and turn stark white. I've lost all faith in you. I'll never not buy another thing from you again.

And your feet smell.

And you All Hail Lord Xenu, you scientologist loving bastards.

And you make puppies cry.

And you use forced child labor to make your DVDs.

And you took my girlfriend away in high school.

And you beat my mother. YOU BEAT MY MOTHER YOU BASTARDS.

YOU BURNED MY HOUSE DOWN. DAMN YOU. DAMN YOU ALL TO HARDEES.

GET YOUR STINKIN CLICK AND DRAG OFF OF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY APES! ITS A MADHOUSE! A MAAAAAADHOOOOOOOUUUSEEE! TELLTALE IS PEOPLE! TELLTALE, LET MY PEOPLE GO!

30 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • @Secret Fawful said: How dare you take two great adventure series and turn them into two great adventure games! What the HELL is the matter with you, damn it! How dare you! I mean what were you thinking!? Are you insane! How could you do this to us, Telltale!? It's all ruined now. Your image, your ability to tell stories and make great games! I'm so mad over this great deal you've made with Universal I could very well PEE MY PANTS! Is that what you want? For me to pee my pants? Is that what this is all about Telltale, proving your superiority in bladder control? Oh well GOOD FOR YOU. I hope you're happy. Oh, and I don't like Yare anymore either, the bastard. I hope Dave Grossman's hair starts to uncurl and turn stark white. I've lost all faith in you. I'll never not buy another thing from you again.

    And your feet smell.

    And you All Hail Lord Xenu, you scientologist loving bastards.

    And you make puppies cry.

    And you use forced child labor to make your DVDs.

    And you took my girlfriend away in high school.

    And you beat my mother. YOU BEAT MY MOTHER YOU BASTARDS.

    YOU BURNED MY HOUSE DOWN. DAMN YOU. DAMN YOU ALL TO HARDEES.

    Your sarcasm makes me happy, and smile.

  • Fawful, you've really done it this time. How dare you write a ridiculous satire of people's concerns! What the HELL is the matter with you, damn it! How dare you! I mean what were you thinking!? Are you insane! How could you do this to us, Fawful!? It's all ruined now. Your image, your ability to make decent forum posts and be taken seriously! I'm so mad over this awful thing you've written I could very well KICK MY DOG! Is that what you want? For me to kick my dog? Is that what this is all about Fawful, proving your superiority in leg control? Oh well GOOD FOR YOU. I hope you're happy. Oh, and I don't like your cat anymore either, the bastard. I hope Amadeus's wig starts to uncurl and turn not stark white. I've lost all faith in you. I'll never not make fun of you again.

    And your name is stupid.

    And you All Hail Claude Frollo, you hunchback hating bastard.

    And you make children cry.

    And you use forced child labor to make your posts.

    And you took my lunch money in first grade.

    And you beat my high score. YOU BEAT MY HIGH SCORE YOU BASTARD.

    YOU BLEW UP MY CAR. DAMN YOU. DAMN YOU TO SNUCKEYS.

  • Telltale has just raped my childhood.

  • @GuruGuru214 said: Fawful, you've really done it this time. How dare you write a ridiculous satire of people's concerns! What the HELL is the matter with you, damn it! How dare you! I mean what were you thinking!? Are you insane! How could you do this to us, Fawful!? It's all ruined now. Your image, your ability to make decent forum posts and be taken seriously! I'm so mad over this awful thing you've written I could very well KICK MY DOG! Is that what you want? For me to kick my dog? Is that what this is all about Fawful, proving your superiority in leg control? Oh well GOOD FOR YOU. I hope you're happy. Oh, and I don't like your cat anymore either, the bastard. I hope Amadeus's wig starts to uncurl and turn not stark white. I've lost all faith in you. I'll never not make fun of you again.

    And your name is stupid.

    And you All Hail Claude Frollo, you hunchback hating bastard.

    And you make children cry.

    And you use forced child labor to make your posts.

    And you took my lunch money in first grade.

    And you beat my high score. YOU BEAT MY HIGH SCORE YOU BASTARD.

    YOU BLEW UP MY CAR. DAMN YOU. DAMN YOU TO SNUCKEYS.

    Epic Win Response.

  • @Falanca said: Telltale has just raped my childhood.

    Funny, I think my childhood has just raped Telltale.

  • @GuruGuru214 said: Funny, I think my childhood has just raped Telltale.

    Made of WIN.

  • I would not assume they will be adventure games....

  • They'll be educational puzzle games, I tell you.

  • Telltale has asked me to do terrible things in my sleep. TERRIBLE. :eek:

    They...

    told me...

    to...

    NO! IT'S TOO MUCH! I WON'T SAY IT! NO!

    But YES! I must go on! for the good of humanity!

    They... told... me... to...

    BUY ALL THEIR GAMES!

    AHHHHH! There! I said it! I'm going to go cry now, in the shoulder of a paid psychologist! I'll never look at my credit cards the same way again! CURSE YOU MASTER CARD! CURSE YOU VISA! WHY?!! WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME SPEND AND SPEND AND SPEND?!! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HEELLLLLLLLL!

Add Comment