I have made an account here simply because staring at the forums and not seeing other people with my problem has made me very frustrated.
I own the steam version of Poker Night. I have successfully started Poker Night exactly once.
As soon as it loaded (no graphical glitches evident) I promptly went to the settings area and maxed out all the graphical options (I figured my computer could probably handle them). No invisible text, no warped text, no glitched buttons or mouse lag, nothing. My last selection (a result of long experience) was resolution: 2560 x 1600, the native resolution of my monitor (a Dell WFP 3008).
Hang for 30 seconds.
Crash to desktop.
I figure no biggie, I try to start it again. My name goes green in the friends list, then promptly reverts to the blue of an online but not in-game player. This is all it does, wherever I try to launch it from.
File validations, cache defrags, delete the perfs.prop file in mydocs, delete the clientregistry.blob, restart steam, restart computer, two full reinstalls (one after doing a HDD-wide search for "poker" and deleting anything that could possibly be relevant), remove/reinstall/repair the Visual C++ thingy several times, and more than a few thousand expletives have left me with nothing to show for it but wasted time and seven hours of frustrated rage.
For reference, I present my system specs:
1 AMD Phenom II X6 1090T (3.2 GHz)
1 Nvidia GeForce 9800 GT
4 gigs ram
plenty (excess of 100 gigabytes) of HDD space left.
1 Friends list of people playing Poker Night while I flail at my keyboard in impotent rage.
EDIT: I emailed Telltale support hours ago.