To the tune of "My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean".
2011 was hairy,
A year unlike any we've seen.
There were Schweddy Balls from Ben & Jerry,
And a warlock assassin named Sheen! (Winning!)
Mitt Romney, Rick Perry and Cain!
Big trials! Love childs!
The S&P blew up our rating.
The job market stayed in a slump. (A slump!)
The debt ceiling kept us debating,
While Weiner just tweeted his junk!
Tax more! Class war!
"I nearly got hit with a pie."
Health threats! Greek debts!
The whole Arab world was rebelling.
So long, Muammar Gaddafi!
While soldiers were asking and telling...
[Bert & Ernie:] "We told the whole world we're not gay!"
We finally took out bin Laden.
Japan had one hell of a year. (A year!)
There were riots in Britain: "All rotten!"
[Harold Camping:] "The Rapture!"
[2012 "Seer":] "Not yet, but it's near." (Next year!)
Got hitched, got ditched!
Got knocked up; went bankrupt;
[Netflix:] "We unsubscribed!"
There were Occupy Wall Street protesters,
And folks who will surely be missed.
Falling satellites! Panicked investors!
There's just way too much left to list! (To list!)
Quakes! Crimes! New signs!
Loose lions and tigers and bears!
Let's cheer the new year!
You're ending, thank heaven!