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Just an Explanation

posted by Anakin Skywalker on - last edited - Viewed by 136 users

(Note--This thread was originally a request to have my account here terminated. A mod changed the title for me, as per a request, which I appreciate. PMs from several people have made me think it'd be better just to explain why I've been so combative and reactionary, rather than just to leave here.)

I just wanted to give you guys an explanation for my recent behavior, my fightiness, my reactionary ways etc. I've been very stressed out and incredibly depressed and on edge. It is a combination of a lot of factors both IRL and online. I've said many a thing I regret and will have to live with on the internet; I am dealing with a myriad of personal issues including watching my mother currently die slowly of liver failure. My father has substance abuse issues (which cause him to be emotionally and verbally abusive) and his abuse has only gotten worse over the last few years, particularly the last few months--He has been doing this since around 1998. These and a lot of other RL things have spilled over into the internet--into things I am passionate over--and I have been acting irrationally because right now with all the RL things going on I'm a bit of a mess.

It's been like this for about a year or two now--My real life has become increasingly worse over the last two to two and a half years due to the aforementioned family problems and other family problems and the problems I've been facing have bled over to my online "life" (really the only means of 'venting' I have, to be honest).

I've been incredibly reactionary and easily agitated/angered,, willing to fight, not open to debate, and at times stupidly irrational which has led me into a great deal of really petty arguments/debates etc, most of which in the past happened between me and Phoenix Online.

I just find my recent behavior here to be the last straw for myself--I am making an ass out of myself, to be blunt, as I have a habit of doing, and I don't want anyone to think I'm a nut--I just want people to realize that the last two and a half years have been hell for me and it's caused me to act out in ways I shouldn't have. Basically, to sum it up, I think I need a break, until hopefully my real life is more settled. I'll always love Sierra games and everything associated with them--For me Sierra and it's games represented the happiest memories of my childhood. I just feel I need a bit of a break until my life sorts itself out.

At the very least, if people could just understand where I'm coming from at times--That I'm not some reactionary loon, or simply an asshole--I think I'd get on better around here. One of the things I always loved about the Sierra community was that it felt like an actual COMMUNITY--At least over at POS--People did often divulge information about their personal lives and troubles and received sympathy or support. I was always raised to keep things like this close to my collar, to keep secrets, to not really talk about my feelings in order to keep my father from getting in trouble and so I've only shared these things with just a few select people. I'm willing to stick around, I suppose, I do hope my temper improves. I don't know what is best really at this point--on any front. This thread was originally a request to have this account terminated. I'm not a control freak by any stretch but when one's life feels like it's totally out of their control and has gone down the tubes, I'd imagine it'd be a little disheartening, to say the least.

3 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • wow. what?

    Seriously, dude. They're just video games. And the Sierra games aren't just any old games; they're games that many of us love and cherish in our memories.

    We just really care about the KQ franchise being shown the proper treatment by this company, and we're understandably concerned about it not being done so.

    Hell, I'd be skeptical if WadjetEye Games even got the license.

    I love the old KQ games, and I want to be able to look into this new game and see the things that I know and love about the old ones. Sure, the LucasArts games are good, but they have their own charm, in their own way.

    Please, don't get upset just because our benefit-of-the-doubt for TTG has worn away over time. It's not our goal to be mean to Telltale; we just want to love King's Quest and to know that it will be treated right.

  • What is a reactionary exactly?

    If this was politics to liberals they are people who resist change! therefore blue dog democrats, tea party, some libertarians, conservatives, Republicans, sometimes independents and moderates and democrats are considered reaxtionary... Strangely this interpretation of "reactionary" could apply to most KQ fans who don't want to see change, and want KQ to remain how it was 20-25 years ago!

    On the other end reactionary in politics has been used by the conservative right to apply to the left, sometimes the more anarchist aspects of the left, occupy wall street (which in some cases apparently includes some Ron Paul tea party types), some libertarians, Democrats, Green Party, independents, sometimes independents and moderates and even the more socialist minded people who want to see the system replaced. Ironically this could refer to the types of KQ fans who want to see KQ continue and ultimately open to change of any type.

    Some on both sides may refer to opposing sides or themselves as revolutiinaries in these times of hyper-partisan bickering and hate. Even via thr concept of the Overton Window some things that were ince considered moderate have beeb at times shifted to be considered right wing or at other times considered right wing. What was considered centrist viewpoint shifted to become "extremed" in political discourse. While other aspects that may have been considered extreme become "mainstream". Perhaps there are us moderates or more centrist minded people who think some change is good, but don't want to see everythin change so much from the original formula. some of us even liked KQ8.

    Perhaps it is safe to say one person's reactionary is anothers' radical, an it all depends on where along the spectrum you belong.

  • Don't sweat it -- games are nothing if not an escape, and a challenge that can be mastered. When everything else seems out of control, a little passion for something you love can channel your stress in a better, even productive direction.

    A little self-awareness is humanity's best defense against ourselves. Take it as the gift it is.

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