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  • No suicide. Why remove your life like that. You'll remove all you have and all you're ever gonna have. All those experiences, gone.

    Although, I'll tell you one thing, if you feel that down, Trilby's Notes isn't going to help. It might even be a bad idea right now.

  • @coolsome said: Thank god for CCTV then! I've interrupted my self imposed exile to say don't give up cos the harder you fight the more you will get out of life there are tragic moments that we can't avoid but that doesn't mean you should avoid finding the good in life as well.

    So, big brother's not all bad then? Who knew! Unless it's the TV show; that's programming brought to you by the anti-christ himself! You're right of course, life is a fight and I mostly give it all I've got but sometimes it all becomes a bit overwhelming. I do feel a fair bit better then I did last night though, a good night's sleep will do that I guess.

    @coolsome said: No suicide. Why remove your life like that. You'll remove all you have and all you're ever gonna have. All those experiences, gone.

    Although, I'll tell you one thing, if you feel that down, Trilby's Notes isn't going to help. It might even be a bad idea right now.

    Actually, I've always found that retreating into horror when I feel depressed to be a good form of therapy. I suppose it's a mixture of entering the realm of fantasy, mixed with a feeling of "well, at least my life isn't that bad/scary"!

    Anyhow, many thanks to both yourself and Coolsome for the words of encouragement. You guys are awesome :)

  • @St_Eddie said: I can't until I go back to my flat tomorrow :p

    Seriously though, I'm very sad. I'm at that age where I've come to really take in the fact that my parents won't be around much longer. It's been playing on my mind a lot these past couple of years and then today, my Dad had a word with me about his will. He also said that he's going in for an operation the day after my birthday (29th August).

    I'm scared. I don't know what I'd do without my parents, I would feel so alone. I don't like to talk about this shit to people (much less online) but maybe I need to, just this once. A few months back I attempted suicide for the second time in my life. Previously, I had taken 50 paracetamol and this time I entered a closed multi-story car park to jump off the top but was apprehended by the police due to CCTV.

    Without my parents, I just can't see myself going on at all. This is probably the only time I'll be so frank about the issues in my life on the Internet but, yeah... there it is.


    I know exactly how you feel, as someone who lost their father at a young age (rather suddenly. He felt dizzy and 2 minutes later he was dead), I have always had a constant fear that my mother would follow suit. More recently she's made changes to her will, and given me Power of Attourney and all those sorts of things, which has probably worse.

    I guess what I'm saying is that you have to be prepared. People can die at any time. Life is all about maing the most about the time you have, as well as ensuring that you are prepared for all eventualities. I would mention to your friends how you feel if you don't think you'll have the strength to pull through on your own should the worst happen. So they are there for you and can stop you from doing something you would regret.

    I've also been suicidal at several points in my life. Most recently six months ago. I was told that it was likely I had cancer, which is scary in and of itself. I hated my Job, and I was still in the closet. Everyone around me was getting into relationships, and bugging me as to why I wasn't . Every time I went and saw my friends dating someone I was just filled with pain and regret and the feeling that I could never, ever be like them. With the cancer being an issue (and how far in the future my brain works), I was visualising just about every dream I've ever had collapsing. If I had cancer I would have to have had chemo. I would have been too ill to go to university, which would mean another year in the job I hated, in the closet living the exact same life I had for 21 years. Not to mention several family members who will likely die in the next 12 months (also from cancer. One has an incurable form and is resisting medication. The other is apporaching 80 years old.). It was more than I could take.

    If I had been diagnosed with cancer, I doubt I would still be here.I'd gotten to the point where I'd composed notes (complete with all my bank details to make it easier for the family to deal with that side of things, my usernames/passwords (so I don't just disappear from places like this. Someone would inform you guys) and other stuff like that. Funeral directions (music and that)), a letter of apology and reasonig and also the method. And everytime I've eventually talked myself round. And I'm very much glad I did. 6 months on from then I am a completely different guy. I'm very happy with my life. I'm out of the closet (mostly. So long as I stay south of the Scottish border.), I was given the all clear two weeks ago, i've left my job and I'll finally be going to university in a couple of months. And I think about everything that I would have missed if I had departed this world prematurely. I would never have seen my cousin get married, I would never find out how much the people at work cared about me and I would never have been able to help my friends when they needed me. I could give you the whole "Life gets better" speech, but I suspect you've had so many of those now that you're sick of them. Just hold on tight, whatever happens people will always be there for you.

    Granted, I don't know your circumstances, and mine were reversed which woudn't be the case with a death, but let me give you one piece of advice. If one of your parents dies and you don't think you can go on, think about what another death would do to them. The survivors will need you then more than ever before. Heck, I got it bad enough when I was 8 with my father's death. My mother became severely depressed and incapable of doing much. I had lots of comments along the lines of "You're the man of the house now". That responsibility was what helped me pull through. And I'm sure you will want to endure to help your family pull through too.
    @St_Eddie said: Thank god for CCTV then! I've interrupted my self imposed exile to say don't give up cos the harder you fight the more you will get out of life there are tragic moments that we can't avoid but that doesn't mean you should avoid finding the good in life as well.

    Yay! Coolsome's back!

  • On a country road, Clark tells his wife Jane that he needs to use a payphone. While his wife chats happily with their five-year-old daughter Lara in the car, he's fiddling with his laptop in the phone booth when a newspaper page flutters near him. He notices a photo on the front page, which shows Nana. Intrigued, he reads the article that says his daughter was killed at 8PM. He glances at his wristwatch. It's almost 8PM. He looks at his car. His wife climbs out of the car, calling out that she couldn't unlock their daughter's seat belt. As his wife takes another step towards him, a truck smashes into the car behind her, killing Lara. While the emergency employees and police swarm around the accident site, Clark looks around for the newspaper page as Jane tearfully tries to stop him.

    Three years later: Jane meets a psychic to learn more about "the Newspaper of Terror". The psychic shows fear and hesitation before admitting a lawyer had contacted her about the newspaper, but disappeared shortly after. After the interview, Jane receives a phone call from the psychic, who warns her that Jane can no longer escape "it".

    She rushes to the psychic's house, and finds a library of journals and photos of the foreshadowing newspapers. Clark searches the house, and finds the psychic face-down, surrounded by more polaroids with one gripped in her hand. Jane tries to shake her to awake but realises she's dead. She pries the photo from the dead woman's hand and stares in shock. She calls Clark, whom she divorced a couple years before, to meet with him, but he refuses to meet with her as he frantically believes she'll call him insane again.

    As Clark hangs up, a newspaper page slaps against his window. The article reveals that one of his students will be the latest victim of a serial killing that has been plaguing the city. Clark rushes to save his student, but he's too late, finding the poor student. Clark meets Jane the next morning, and they agree to team up to investigate the Newspaper of Terror and find a way to stop the deaths.

    Clark admits he's been receiving premonitions, which increasingly frightens him. Jane takes him to the house of James Renfield, whom she heard has been researching the Newspaper of Terror in the following years. When they arrive at the house, they find it abandoned with dust everywhere. In one room, they find a large stone water basin with shreds of paper on the floor. Some paper walls are written or partly burnt. They find and watch videotapes Renfield used to record his paranormal experiences.

    In the first video, made 12 years before, Renfield states that he "received" a message about a family dying in a gas explosion, which prompted him to warn the family. Newspapers next day didn't mention an explosion. Renfield then wonders the strange grey marks on his arms were the price for changing the future. He'll continue to record what happens to him. In the last video, marked "number 32", Renfield, covered entirely in dark grey, simply waves despondently at the camera, and wanders out of the room. Clark and Jane leave the room in Renfield's direction and in the next room, they find a figure-shaped ash shadow across a wall and floor, turned to dust.

    As his premonitions become more frequent, Clark wonders if he should warn the potential victims. Jane begs him not to as she doesn't want him to suffer Renfield's same fate. She admits the truth to why she researched the Newspaper of Terror. They affirm their feelings for each other, reconcile their long lost love, and then finally agree to continue investigating.

    At end of her working day, Jane's car refuses to start, which prompts her to take a ride in the subway train with her colleague Michelle. As she leaves the car, she doesn't realize she's left her mobile phone on the passenger seat. At the apartment, Clark receives another newspaper front page, revealing a massive subway train derailment that will take 100 lives, and Jane is among the dead people.

    Clark calls her cell, which goes unanswered. He rushes to the train station and yanks Jane out of the train before the doors close. He hasn't the time to reach for Michelle and he couldn't stop the train either. Clark and Jane watches in despair as the train derails. At Michelle's funeral, her mother mentions her daughter's face was torn off during the train accident.

    Clark and Jane decide to move in together again. While packing, she notices dark grey marks on Clark's arm. While sleeping, Clark is haunted by the ghosts of people killed in accidents as predicted by the Newspaper of Terror. Soon he faces his worst nightmare he had 3 years ago: reliving the event that ends with his daughter Lara's death. His desperate desire to save Lara has him trying to manipulate the accident repeatedly until he figures out a way. He successfully unlocks Lara's seatbelt and pushes her out to Jane, and stays in Lara's place as a runaway truck hits the car.

    With Lara lying in daze nearby, Jane screams at the burning car with her husband stuck inside. Lara glances up as a newspaper page floats through the air. As it lands on the ground, we see a photo of Clark on the front page.

  • Reading that, I found myself surprisingly reminded of The Butterfly Effect.

    And I'm glad you're feeling batter now, Eddie. You gotta promise to let me know next time you're feeling down so I can come up and buy you an ice cream or something.

  • Yeah, Davies/St_Eddie, there's way too much cool stuff going on in the world to check out early. So please don't. I mean, parent's dying is something that happens to everyone, sooner or later.

    My own parents have kinda started talking about wills and stuff and that if anything ever happened my one responsibility is to get my brother through college and stuff like that and I'm barely out of college myself (it's because my parents are a bit older than most, mom's 56, dad's 64.). Mom's already had cancer and my dad keeps on reminding me that Alzheimer's is a definite thing on his side of the family. It's tough, but if you think about it, you are your parents' greatest achievement. They tell you these things about the will and such because they feel comfortable with the thought of you taking over for them when they're gone. My mom told me once that she felt that children were kind of like immortality for parents because she knew she'd left something that might persist for hundreds of years after her death (assuming many future generations).

    Which is probably why she keeps on pestering me to get married. Because children are great, but grandkids are like that, but on steroids.

  • They want grandkids because then they can have all the good times with kids (watching them grow up, all their 'firsts', etc) without all the bad stuff (staying up all night, cleaning up their mess, etc).

  • I'm gonna see Pacific Rim in an hour! Woo!

  • @Darth Marsden said: Reading that, I found myself surprisingly reminded of The Butterfly Effect.

    And I'm glad you're feeling batter now, Eddie. You gotta promise to let me know next time you're feeling down so I can come up and buy you an ice cream or something.

    Can I have an ice cream? I've been craving Mr Whippy all day.

  • [quote=Darth Marsden;821155]Reading that, I found myself surprisingly reminded of The Butterfly Effect.[/quote]

    Fuck that shit!

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