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make your own talk beetween S&M

posted by seson3churious on - last edited - Viewed by 423 users

Make a hilarious talk between S&M.

Something like this:

Max: Sam that guy is looking suspicious. I better ask him a few questions, steel his wallet and beet the snot out of him.
Sam: Don't i get to do anything?
Max: Sure, you can convince the guy that there is no point in suing detectives.

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    Art

    @seson3churious said: Make a hilarious talk between S&M.

    Something like this:

    Max: Sam that guy is looking suspicious. I better ask him a few questions, steel his wallet and beet the snot out of him.
    Sam: Don't i get to do anything?
    Max: Sure, you can convince the guy that there is no point in suing detectives.

    Why?

  • @Art said: Why?

    Because it's fun, that's why. XD

    Max: I heard if you breathe too fast, the oxygen can't get to your brain fast enough and you black out.
    Sam: Yeah, but you don't have a brain.

  • Or maybe:

    Max: Sam, look! That guy ate the last cookie!
    Sam: So?
    Max: Nothing, I'm just pointing out that graves are expansive in New York.

  • heheh, nice! XD

    Keep them coming.. I'd rather not to, with my non-native english I'd just ruin the S&M spirit if I'd try to make up something. D:

  • Max: Sam, I think I'm in love with you...
    Sam: Are you sure? You said you were in love with the curtains last week.
    Max: No, I'm pretty sure it's love this time....wait, it might just be gas.
    Sam: Well, thank god for that! I'm not spending money on a big expensive wedding.

  • Does this whole scene that I wrote because I wished you could do this in Chariots of the Dogs count?

    Spoilers for Chariots of the Dogs, by the way.

    [Use the DNA sampler on Sam]
    Sam: You never know when you'll need a sample of your own DNA.
    Max: I'll say. How many times have you needed to frame yourself for a crime you didn't commit, and forgotten the DNA?

    [Look at Sam's DNA]
    Sam: It's a sample of my DNA.

    [Use Sam's DNA on the babymaker]
    Sam: Hey Max, you watch a lot of late night sci-fi, don't you?
    Max: It's called speculative fiction, Sam. "Sci-fi" is just insulting.
    Sam: Of course, how could I degrade the noble art of the B-movie?
    Max: My favourite is the one where the aliens mutate all the world's lemurs into giant horned killing machines and in the end Joe Everyman from small town American saves the world.
    Sam: Anyway, what if, through some bizarre twist of predestination, Bosco's father turned out to be one of us?
    Max: Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!
    Sam: Never in a million years.

    [Return to the spaceship]
    (Bosco is covered in brown fur and wears a suit similar to Sam's)
    Sam: Whoops.
    Max: I told you we should've used my DNA!
    Sam: I don't think Bosco has any shark in his ancestry, Max.

    [Talk to Bosco]
    Sam: Uh... Hi, Bosco.
    Bosco: (Like Sam) Hey Max. (Looks at Sam) Hey, uhhh... fool.

    [Say "Who was your father again?"]
    Sam: Can you tell us anything more about your father?
    Bosco: Uh, didn't I already tell you fools I was a test tube baby?
    Max: Sure, but we were hoping your sudden animalistic charm would help us see the problem in a new light.
    Bosco: You crack me up, little fool.
    Sam: (>: face) Don't say that.
    Bosco: Oh, all right. I think my mama said something about my dad being a polite man in a dark suit, but... I wasn't paying attention.
    Max: Because she wasn't talking about guns or violence?
    Bosco: You know me too well, Max.

    [Say "But I'm Sam!"]
    (There was something here, but I hate it so it's gone)

    [Exit the conversation]
    Max: Sit. Stay. Good boy.
    Bosco: Hey!
    Sam: (simultaneously) Hey!

    [Talk to Max. Say "I don't like Bosco like this"]
    Sam: We better hurry and get Bosco back to his old self.
    Max: Can we keep him like this, Sam? Pleeeaaase?
    Sam: No way.

    That was pretty hard to write, actually. Stupid Sam not having particularly iconic character traits. Also I got tired halfway through, and I can't write particularly cleverly when I'm tired.

    That's mostly a talk between Sam and Max. And Bosco Sam. I just have trouble writing conversations with no context.

  • @Shwoo: wow, I'm impressed! seriously! and I nearly laughed my face off :D

  • TV: Are cameras just picked up a shocking image!
    (Whizzer shows up on the TV)
    Whizzer: I'm just peeing in the rain, just peeing in the rain...
    Max: Ewwwww! Sam, i don't think that Whizzer is my hero any more.
    Sam: Its a shame that he couldn't hold it to the bathroom.

  • Sam: I don't know how we'll ever get into that wedding party.
    Max: We could disguise ourselves as a couple of sexy bridesmaids and...
    Sam: I really hope you don't finish that sentence.

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