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Monkey Island 5 SUCKS!

posted by Rather Dashing on - last edited - Viewed by 3.4K users

Everyone is talking about Monkey Island 1-4, but few remember to mention fan-favorite "Monkey Island 5". This epic, 40-hour super experience is heralded for having all the features anyone who hates episodes could ever want.

But really, was it all that great?

First of all, it's just a re-tread of everything that has come before. Oh, have to get near-useless crew. How original. Banishing LeChuck's latest form, though admittedly this has become more of a series staple, I thought that they could have come up with better than a "glowy" Zombie LeChuck. I mean, really, what was up with that?

The ending was non-existent! We spend a HUGE chunk of this 40-hour game crafting the Cursed Cutlass of Kaflu. We found AGAIN all of these items that were in the other games, from a voodoo doll to the Ultimate Insult(ugh) to defeat LeChuck. And when we find all but the fizzy root beer...the game just ends. Abruptly. I mean, we didn't even get a conclusion until recently in Tales of that story. And while it was an epic ending, to be sure, wouldn't it have been more fitting to leave it in its own game? Surely Monkey Island 5 wouldn't have suffered so much if it didn't completely lack an ending.

Why did we have to go to so much trouble to get a monkey coffin, anyway? It wasn't used in the course of Monkey Island 5, so what is the point of that anyway?

And LeChuck stealing monkies? It's a bit hard to swallow, and this is for a series that can get pretty thick in shtick.

Speaking of LeChuck, even *I* can't believe how he ended up surviving the ending of Escape from Monkey Island.

Monkey Island 5 is a HUGE game, that's to be sure. But if one is to go by quality rather than quantity, it's obvious that it is a severe failure compared to Tales of Monkey Island already.

Yes, this is a play on the whole "After Monkey Island 5" business. Sue me.

262 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • Aw c'mon! I loved it! The part with the ice-breathing accountant is amazing!

  • I must admit I kinda liked the part where you get back to the new Big Whoop World theme park, especially the puzzle where you need to defeat the Voodoo Priest aboard the ship-dodgems to get the cursed voodoo doll. That was epic.

    And to see LeChuck made a screaming chair out of Ozzy Mandrill... Priceless :)

  • I don't care how bad some parts were in that game, nothing could eve be as scarring as the sex scene between Guybrush and Elaine. And what the hell were up with those options; push harder, go softer, have a premature....well I'm sure you guys all remember because I'm still trying to forget.

  • Damn darknessofheart, I think your pseudo is all backward :s
    You should be more careful, that's some bad disease. I'd take an appointment with Le Marquis de Singe if I were you ;)

  • @Thogreg said: Damn darknessofheart, I think your pseudo is all backward :s
    You should be more careful, that's some bad disease. I'd take an appointment with Le Marquis de Singe if I were you ;)

    Yeah, no thanks lol.

  • Who got stuck on the Grow-your-own-ship puzzle? At least I could get it out of its bottle...

  • I really hated the Guybrush-Elaine sex scene too. Did we really need that? Also, I really, REALLY hated the part where they added "Monkey Kombat II." I thought they learned from their mistakes!

    Dammit, this is making me so angry just thinking about that game. It's so bad it makes Escape from Monkey Island look like LeChuck's Revenge!

  • What was that bit where Guybrush went into space?? Did anybody REALLY feel that fitted in with the rest of the game?

  • Honestly, after all the bad reviews, I just skipped this game.

    Anybody have the screenshots?

  • As much as I appreciate the idea of shirtless Guybrush, what the heck did they do with him in that game? He looked more like a dwarf. Why were all the characters so ugly?
    The music wasn't as good as in the other games, too. In fact it was horrible. They also could have chosen better actors for the voices. Not to mention the poor audio quality.
    So ugly graphics, terrible sounds and senseless illogical puzzles. Why, I wonder, did the game need 10 Gigs of hard disk space?
    Don't even ask me about the German version. The translation was so bad that the dialogs didn't make any sense at all. Not that they did make much sense in the English version... The German voices, well, better don't ask. In the German version they also cut 'that' scene between Guybrush and Elaine, but I should be glad for that.
    How did you solve the puzzle where you had to get the laxative and put it into Captain Thunderspit's grog? Not only was it pixel-hunting, it also took me ages to figure out that I had to put the vampire squirrel into Kenny's shoe to get the key to the fitness center first.

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