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Monkey Island 5 SUCKS!

posted by Rather Dashing on - last edited - Viewed by 3.7K users

Everyone is talking about Monkey Island 1-4, but few remember to mention fan-favorite "Monkey Island 5". This epic, 40-hour super experience is heralded for having all the features anyone who hates episodes could ever want.

But really, was it all that great?

First of all, it's just a re-tread of everything that has come before. Oh, have to get near-useless crew. How original. Banishing LeChuck's latest form, though admittedly this has become more of a series staple, I thought that they could have come up with better than a "glowy" Zombie LeChuck. I mean, really, what was up with that?

The ending was non-existent! We spend a HUGE chunk of this 40-hour game crafting the Cursed Cutlass of Kaflu. We found AGAIN all of these items that were in the other games, from a voodoo doll to the Ultimate Insult(ugh) to defeat LeChuck. And when we find all but the fizzy root beer...the game just ends. Abruptly. I mean, we didn't even get a conclusion until recently in Tales of that story. And while it was an epic ending, to be sure, wouldn't it have been more fitting to leave it in its own game? Surely Monkey Island 5 wouldn't have suffered so much if it didn't completely lack an ending.

Why did we have to go to so much trouble to get a monkey coffin, anyway? It wasn't used in the course of Monkey Island 5, so what is the point of that anyway?

And LeChuck stealing monkies? It's a bit hard to swallow, and this is for a series that can get pretty thick in shtick.

Speaking of LeChuck, even *I* can't believe how he ended up surviving the ending of Escape from Monkey Island.

Monkey Island 5 is a HUGE game, that's to be sure. But if one is to go by quality rather than quantity, it's obvious that it is a severe failure compared to Tales of Monkey Island already.

Yes, this is a play on the whole "After Monkey Island 5" business. Sue me.

262 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • The only good thing I liked about the game was that it brought back Largo Lagrande. But then they messed that up too by saying he pushed Grandpa Marley down a whirlpool. Another plot hole; LeChuck, Ozzie, Largo, how many times did that old man get pushed down a whirlpool?

  • At least it was better than Monkey Island 1.5, where all you got do do was buy a coat, grow facial hair, and find LeChuck's still-wriggling beard. Having to collect all that money just to not use it in the end was so dissatisfying. That scene where Guybrush and Elaine broke up almost made me cry, though.

  • @LuigiHann said: At least it was better than Monkey Island 1.5, where all you got do do was buy a coat, grow facial hair, and find LeChuck's still-wriggling beard. Having to collect all that money just to not use it in the end was so dissatisfying. That scene where Guybrush and Elaine broke up almost made me cry, though.

    That part where you had to tell every pirate in the Caribbean about your LeChuck-exploding story was kind of tedious though.

  • For me, the now obligatory vehicle section and cover mechanic ruined the game.

    Anyway, the Guybrush-Elaine sex scene was nothing, now Guybrush's Man on Manatee action on the other hand.... You'd have thought Telltale would know better after the flak that Bioware got for Mass Effect's cross species intimacy.

  • @LuigiHann said: At least it was better than Monkey Island 1.5, where all you got do do was buy a coat, grow facial hair, and find LeChuck's still-wriggling beard. Having to collect all that money just to not use it in the end was so dissatisfying. That scene where Guybrush and Elaine broke up almost made me cry, though.

    Good point, but I'm surprised nobody mentioned Monkey Island 3.5 yet. I mean, a whole game based on Guybrush's and Elaine's honeymoon? And finally at the first hint of an actual storyline when the ship gets attacked and Guybrush is tied to the mast the game ended abruptly? It was really frustrating!

  • What about 2.5? Now that one was entirely pointless. Eating all that cursed ice cream just to grow a few inches and lose twenty or thirty pounds. I also didn't like the puzzle where Guybrush had to shave his beard over and over again until it was entirely gone (after you used the jinxed popcorn with the hexed lemonade). Some people might find it funny that Guybrush had to play a female top model after he had joined the actor's club, but I don't. There was no real story in that game, it was just confusing and - as I said before - pointless.

  • @Mad Mary said: What about 2.5? Now that one was entirely pointless. Eating all that cursed ice cream just to grow a few inches and lose twenty or thirty pounds. I also didn't like the puzzle where Guybrush had to shave his beard over and over again until it was entirely gone (after you used the jinxed popcorn with the hexed lemonade). Some people might find it funny that Guybrush had to play a female top model after he had joined the actor's club, but I don't. There was no real story in that game, it was just confusing and - as I said before - pointless.

    Granted, but at least we found out the actual secret of Monkey Island in that one and how the ending of LeChuck's revenge made perfect sense. Too bad it's out of print now... :D

  • @Cortez said: Granted, but at least we found out the actual secret of Monkey Island in that one and how the ending of LeChuck's revenge made perfect sense. Too bad it's out of print now... :D


    Alright, and I must admit that that search-the-magical-bottle puzzle was kinda cool. Guybrush got a beautiful voice for solving it.

  • Worst use of nude codes EVER!

  • I can't believe nobody has brought up Monkey Island: The Prequel where Guybrush is actually the most feared pirate on the seas and then suddenly his ship crashes and everyone assumes he's dead. Worst ending ever, even MI2's ending was better than that. But I have to admit, it was really strange that they made a kid that looked maybe 13 be "the most feared and powerful pirate ever." Just seemed kinda dumb to me.

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