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Monkey Island 5 SUCKS!

posted by Rather Dashing on - last edited - Viewed by 3.2K users

Everyone is talking about Monkey Island 1-4, but few remember to mention fan-favorite "Monkey Island 5". This epic, 40-hour super experience is heralded for having all the features anyone who hates episodes could ever want.

But really, was it all that great?

First of all, it's just a re-tread of everything that has come before. Oh, have to get near-useless crew. How original. Banishing LeChuck's latest form, though admittedly this has become more of a series staple, I thought that they could have come up with better than a "glowy" Zombie LeChuck. I mean, really, what was up with that?

The ending was non-existent! We spend a HUGE chunk of this 40-hour game crafting the Cursed Cutlass of Kaflu. We found AGAIN all of these items that were in the other games, from a voodoo doll to the Ultimate Insult(ugh) to defeat LeChuck. And when we find all but the fizzy root beer...the game just ends. Abruptly. I mean, we didn't even get a conclusion until recently in Tales of that story. And while it was an epic ending, to be sure, wouldn't it have been more fitting to leave it in its own game? Surely Monkey Island 5 wouldn't have suffered so much if it didn't completely lack an ending.

Why did we have to go to so much trouble to get a monkey coffin, anyway? It wasn't used in the course of Monkey Island 5, so what is the point of that anyway?

And LeChuck stealing monkies? It's a bit hard to swallow, and this is for a series that can get pretty thick in shtick.

Speaking of LeChuck, even *I* can't believe how he ended up surviving the ending of Escape from Monkey Island.

Monkey Island 5 is a HUGE game, that's to be sure. But if one is to go by quality rather than quantity, it's obvious that it is a severe failure compared to Tales of Monkey Island already.

Yes, this is a play on the whole "After Monkey Island 5" business. Sue me.

262 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • C'mon, I know some jokes didn't work, and the part with the manatee voiced by Ted Levine wasn't everyone's cup of tea, but I think the game is pretty good at some points.

    Favorite parts:

    The part where Guybrush fell into that portal and wound up in a world where everyone looks like him, and they can only say "Threepwood! Threepwood! Threepwood!".

    Tricking the ice-breathing accountant into marrying that werewolf drag-queen.

    The all-out brawl between the Pirates of Barbary Coast and the Men of Low Moral Fiber.

    Least favorite parts:

    Monkey Combat II. The one with 25 moves and 200 different monkey sounds? Gets old real quick.

    Deciphering that damn map to Flojo Island, which took me eight hours, even with the walkthrough.

    That gratuitous sex scene, both the one with Elaine and Teddy the Talking Manatee.

    The UFO alternate ending, which I got in the first playthrough, which was confusing.

    Anyway, my least favorite MI games are Monkey Island Skateboarding, and Lego Monkey Island.

  • Was anyone else creeped out by the Voodoo Lady's attraction to Guybrush Threepwood, the Masterbating Overzealous Monkey, the Flying Doodo!, or Herman Toothrot's offerings of "things stuck in my teeth?" *shivers*

  • i just thought the monkey sea monster was a bit much my favorite part would be guybrush renewing his marriage vows with elaine in las veagas

  • I really loved the puzzle where you had to do the Hula of Hades while riding a tricycle through a volcano, using items along the way to ensure you weren't burned to a steaming crisp.

    But when you had to escape the bar filled with Angry Smelly Cursed Leper Gorilla Pirates by using the same tricycle on the clothesline to get across the rooftops, followed by having to signal for your horse by forcing a parrot in your inventory to swallow the Bullhorn of Singood? How could anyone figure THAT out? Worst puzzle in the series.

    I quite liked the puzzle where you used Guybrush's bald spot caused by the singing fires from that evil juggling fire-breathing pirate clown you stole the tricycle from, plus Wally's lens, to blind the two-headed cyclops guarding the entrance of the caves where Lechuck had stashed Elaine's pirate ship. That one was fun, especially watching the cyclops fall off the cliff into the sea like Wile E. Coyote. :D

  • i hated the way it was around 60 hours but 15 were spent with guybrush talking dinner plans with elaine

  • @tredlow said:
    Anyway, my least favorite MI games are Monkey Island Skateboarding, and Lego Monkey Island.

    I loved lego monkey island. the cannibals are adorable there

  • i liked the part where the voodoo lady and lechuck talked about their high school days together

  • @walshy said: i liked the part where the voodoo lady and lechuck talked about their high school days together

    and the part where the voodoo lady blew up half the school because she practiced voodoo in the science lab

  • @LuigiHann said: I loved lego monkey island. the cannibals are adorable there

    I agree. And the way you could pop Murray onto any other lego body made for amusements.

  • I'll bet someone at Telltale is sitting there crying over all these great plot ideas that have been spoiled, errr, already been used before they could put them in, like that pirate wet T-shirt contest... :D

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