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Jokes!

posted by TheGingerNinja on - last edited - Viewed by 253 users

Anyone had a bad day? Do you need a laugh? Well here you can post and read jokes for your entertainment!:D

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  • @tredlow said: Why did the little idiot threw butter out the window?

    Because he is a little idiot who doesn't understand how anything works and will never fit in to society because society rejects him due to his lack of intelligence, and every time the idiot walks by, everyone will point and laugh at him and call him 'idiot' until he became a depressed outcast and committed suicide. All because he threw some damn butter.

    Wait... Is he the idiot for throwing the butter, or was he already one?

  • What is black and white, and read all over... A newspaper! Haha thats a knee slaper

  • How do make a boys brain look like a pea? You blow it up, and paint it green.

  • A squirrel says " I forgot to store me nuts for the winter and now I am dead." haha. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead

  • a man is taking his son to a pub for his first drink, and his son has no other body parts except a head. the son takes a sip, and grows a body. the dad says 'drink some more, son!' and he drinks more. two arms pop out from his body. he takes another sip. two legs pop out from his body. the son is so excited that he runs out onto the street and gets hit by a semitrailer, killing him instantly. the bartender and the dad rush out to find the son, and the bartender said 'your boy should have quit when he was a head'.

  • @TomPravetz said: Wait... Is he the idiot for throwing the butter, or was he already one?

    He was already an idiot, though nobody knew until he threw the butter.

    Anyway;

    A man was having a financial crisis. His mother is sick, his wife and children starving, and he was living in debt. He needed precisely ten thousand dollars to pay it all off. In a fit of desperation, the man wrote a letter addressed to God. In the letter, he explained his problems in detail, his own identity, and his faith, and asked for ten thousand dollars, which he promises to work off in the future. He then puts it in the mail box.

    The letter arrived at the local post office. The local post office has a reputation for being careless with their packages; they always arrive either broken, opened, or in perfect condition, but in the wrong address, and their deliveries are quite usually followed by the receiver saying "Damn post office!".

    When the manager was shown the letter by a confused postman, he decided to do good, so that maybe the post office can finally have a good image. So he called the whole staff and told them to kick in money to give to the poor man. In the end, they managed to accumulate nine thousand dollars. They then put it in an envelope and sent it back to the man, with "God" written as the sender.

    When the man saw the envelope, he was really happy and amazed. Then he opened it and counted the money.

    "Hey, there's only nine thousand dollars here! Damn post office!".

  • @OzzieMonkey said: a man is taking his son to a pub for his first drink, and his son has no other body parts except a head. the son takes a sip, and grows a body. the dad says 'drink some more, son!' and he drinks more. two arms pop out from his body. he takes another sip. two legs pop out from his body. the son is so excited that he runs out onto the street and gets hit by a semitrailer, killing him instantly. the bartender and the dad rush out to find the son, and the bartender said 'your boy should have quit when he was a head'.

    Vicar of Dibley Version

  • Most of the jokes I know are pretty...edgy. I find these perfectly normal, but since I'm not the best judge, let me know if they're tasteless. They're mostly lame:

    How do you keep a blonde busy for a few hours? Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.

    How does a blonde try to kill a fish? By drowning it.

    Why do blondes open the door when using the bathroom? So that people don't look at them through the keyhole.

    If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

  • @Kroms said: Most of the jokes I know are pretty...edgy. I find these perfectly normal, but since I'm not the best judge, let me know if they're tasteless. They're mostly lame:

    How do you keep a blonde busy for a few hours? Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.

    How does a blonde try to kill a fish? By drowning it.

    Why do blondes open the door when using the bathroom? So that people don't look at them through the keyhole.

    If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

    lol I like the pro one(because I actualy get it)

  • why did the canibal chicken cross the road? To get some KFC.

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