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The "whatever's on your mind" thread

posted by GuruGuru214 on - last edited - Viewed by 246.2K users

One of the things that's great about this forum is its randomness. Well, this is the epitome of it: a thread for whatever random thought happens to be passing through your mind.

For example, I've just been struck by the most random craving for Taco Bell nachos.

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  • Today I applied to the Second Best Intership Ever. Please wish me luck!

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    where is ep.6 of tomi

  • @GinnyN said: Today I applied to the Second Best Intership Ever. Please wish me luck!

    NOW I get the the Monkey Island reference! *facepalm*

  • @GinnyN said: NOW I get the the Monkey Island reference! *facepalm*

    That's the second biggest facepalm possible on the forum!

  • I probably look like a thug.

    I expect a package, and someone came delivering a package to the flat I live, so I kept an eye out for which number he would ring.
    All this while he kept a close eye on me, suspicious, holding his package very tightly to himself.

    Maybe I need to shave... :p

  • DISCLAIMER: This is a long and pointless (to anyone but me and I know it all already) post and I don't even know why I'm doing this. Probably for the attention, which is ironic as I hate attention. But I just want to post this. Maybe I should just do a blog instead. Feel free to just ignore all this and everything else that I write.

    I hate myself for messing up my final year at university. Especially when I was working towards something I've wanted for a long time only to self destruct right near the end. And now I'm questioning if going back to university was the right thing to do in the first place and if I am actually capable of doing what I want to do at all. I think that there's still part of me that believes I can but I always doubt myself, which I suppose is true for almost anyone. I guess what it comes down to is what do I want to do. I thought I knew. But now I'm wondering if I was just kidding myself. One thing I do know is that I need to change the way I live my life.

    I guess I've kinda just drifted though life, no real ambition or drive to make something of myself, just doing enough to scrape by and hoping no-one notices me. At school I just turned up and did what I needed to, keeping out of everyone's way, hiding in the shadows (metaphorically anyway!). Too cowardly to stand up for myself when faced with problems like bullies, instead just taking the punches. Too scared to tell a girl that I really liked for years how I felt incase she rejected me and laughed in my face.

    Still, at least I managed to form a few basic friendships, even with that girl. Until college anyway. That's when I found out that friendship can be a lie and one of the most painful lies at that. That girl ended up hating me, and called me psychotic because she was told I did something that I would never do. I can still vividly remember that day, the journey to college puncuated by a few 'fellow' classmates telling me that they heard that someone had been sending vicious text messages to the girl (hell, I think I need to give her a better name than 'that girl' or whatever - L will do fine), to L and a little later I heard that I was the one suspected of doing it. I just carried on, convinced in my mind that L would not believe that. Ah, the innocence of the innocent. When L eventually confronted me, it was one of the most gut wrenching experiences of my life. But the worst part about the whole thing was that I didn't stand up for myself. I knew I didn't do it, I knew I could never do it - I loved her, at least it was what I believe was love, but I just stood there and took the blame for it all. After it was over I just walked over to a corner, crouched down and cried.

    I have a few theories about who actually did it and how they framed me but it doesn't matter now. It's 11 years to late for all that. But it did change me. I thought I had friends there, but most of it was a lie. I now find it hard to really trust people, and next to impossible to open up to anyone - which is while I like the safety that being an anonymous person on the internet brings. It's not all bad. I did find one true friend at college, and he's still my closest friend to this day. But I still can't tell him about any of this. But I can post it all on a internet message board where no-one knows me, not even a virtual persona of myself. Damn it all, this is just attention seeking. I don't know if that's a bad thing, but I wouldn't be surprised if it is. I guess I am a bad person. But I want to be a good person, doing something I want to do, being passionate about something. I want to be liked, I want to be loved. I want to live. But I get the feeling that subsconsiously I don't. Well, that or I'm just a lazy bastard content to drift though life, not achieve anything and die unremembered.

    Apologies to all who read this pile of tripe.

  • @Biggins That was... interesting. Not much else to say.

  • I have seen so many times this thing, I wonder if still works.

  • @GinnyN said: I have seen so many times this thing, I wonder if still works.

    what thing?

  • @corruptbiggins: One faceless internet person to another, I think you should definitely try university again. If you were studying something that you really love, you would probably regret it if you gave up now. But then again, in the end it is your decision, so do what will make you happiest.

    I have no social life, so I can't offer any advice on that.

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