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Where's my ampersand, dollar sign, exclamation mark poster ?

posted by WaterWolf on - last edited - Viewed by 365 users

Last week, with a thrill of excitement, I rushed off to my nearest store to purchase something I'd been waiting many months for - no, not the latest edition Guns n' Bunnies but my Sam and Max poster ! Back home I was so excited, I was perspiring and shaking even more than the time I went a week without my sugar frosted sugar'os cereal. I tore open the box and manically scrabbled around inside. The first thing I found was a strange little plastic disc, which I ate. The next thing I found was some kind of religious instruction manual that warned in many languages of the evils of epilepsy and required me to follow the god RAM and ROM before I could continue with my life. I ate this too. By now I was frantic. Where was it ? WHERE WAS IT ? I could not find it... At last I crumpled in a heap on the ground where I remained, crying, for many, many days.

It is only now that I have the strength to move again. My world has changed. How could this be that my Sam and Max poster was not in its shiny box ? What kind of cruel God would permit such things to happen ? Were it not that American Idol already existed I would have said it was impossible !

At first I thought that one of the greasy, spotty things that I purchased the empty box from, must have somehow figured out how to use the hinge mechanism, opened the box, and taken the poster for itself. After several fatalities I concluded that none of creatures had the intellect to open a door, let alone a box. I also remembered that the box had been sealed inside a dastardly cellophane construct which I myself could only overcome by eating it.

So my question is this. Has anyone else been duped by this scam ? Is anyone else aching from a poster shaped hole in their pancreas ? Or have I misunderstood completely and the poster is meant to be purely metaphorical, representing the importance of something important ?

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