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Rate The Last Movie(s) You Watched

posted by Secret Fawful on - last edited - Viewed by 20.1K users

Same as the Rate the Last Game You Finished topic but with movies. There should be more film talk around here. So, I'll start off with the movies I've seen in the past few days.

Law-Abiding Citizen - 5.5/11

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World - 7/11

Sword of the Stranger - 9/11

Blade Runner: Final Cut - 11/11

Blade Runner is one of those films I want to love but also want to hate.

1.8K Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • @Hayley the Hedgie said:
    Scott Pilgrim VS The World - 10
    Inception - 8

    Re-unsubscribing.

  • @Comrade Pants said: I would, but every time I sing an angel not only loses its wings; but is torn asunder by the Deep Ones. These are facts.

    If it makes you feel any better, I would totally have you sing more if it meant I could watch the Archangel Michael try to fight off Dagon.

  • Shutter Island - 11/11 - A brilliant film.

    Young Sherlock Holmes - 8/11 - A great adventure/mystery movie. Better than but similar to the Downey Jr. take. Yes I know of the similarities to Temple of Doom. They're small at best.

    6 Guns - 0/11 - Piece of shit. Look this up just so you can know the company that made this, then if you ever see one of their films take it off the rack, put it on the ground, pull down your pants, and take a big shit on it.

    The Billion Dollar Hobo - 3/11 - I'll watch almost anything with Tim Conway, but this is boring as hell. The music is the best part.

    The Quest - 5/11 - A ridiculous Jean-Claude Van Damme action movie. The tournament is the only good part. And Roger Moore.

    Defendor - 8/11 - What Kick-Ass should have been if it was worth a shit. Woody Harrelson is starting to grow on me as an actor, with this and Zombieland both being great cult material.

    National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - 8/11 - Love it. Don't need to say anymore; most people have seen this.

    Congo - 2/11 - Bruce Campbell dies in the beginning. I don't need to say anymore. Only worth watching for Ernie Hudson and Tim Curry.

    Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery - 9/11 - One of those guilty pleasure movies. I enjoy the character of Austin, but not everyone would.

    Almost Heroes - 6/11 - A definite guilty pleasure movie that a lot of people probably don't like. A lot of the jokes fall flat on their face, yet somehow I laugh at this movie every time.

    McHale's Navy - 9/11 - This is a movie everyone hates, always rates low, always bashes, and I feel like I'm totally alone in loving. I actually like Tom Arnold. Maybe that's the first difference between me and most people. I also adore Tim Curry in this. He's hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Bruce Campbell is in this too, so honestly...what do people hate about this film? It's silly as hell, but I'll take it at that. Maybe people just hate navy comedies nowadays, but I like them a lot. I also liked Down Periscope. Sue me.

    Also, I've decided to give Citizen Kane another viewing. Oooooh. *waves hands around mystically*

  • Yeah, Shutter Island was a very good creepy movie, 8.5-9/10. Scorsese made quite some good to very good movies: The Departed, Aviator, Casino, Gangs of New York, Good Fellas, Taxi Driver, The Color of the money.

  • @TentuZero said: Tron 8/10

    I thought it was okay. This shows that the critics have lost their touch.

    I'm not sure what you mean by this. When Tron was released, it got mixed reviews, being praised and criticized for... pretty much the exact same things Tron: Legacy is being praised and criticized for.

  • the whole nine yards 7.5/10
    The town 7.2/10
    Inception 9.5/10

  • I shall limit my reviews to 5 words

    District 9 - Man turns into an alien - 8/10

    Downfall - You'll feel bad for Hitler - 8.5/10

  • @DoctorCello
    That's not quite right. I as well as many others went into TRON for several times because it was so awesome. Tron Legacy lacks on several levels compared to the original and wasn't able to gave us the same feeling nor have i seen youngsters beeing excited about the movie the way we once were. Maybe things work different in Mormonland.

    Oh and as for new movies, i've finally seen Dick's A Scanner Darkly. After some warming up, i found the visuals interesting and pleasing but also stressful, 8/10.

  • I was in the mood for some bad direct-to-DVD horror... I guess I should be careful what I wish for, because "bad" doesn't even begin to describe these two films.

    Terror Toons - 1/10
    You know a movie's bad when you're facepalming before it even starts. Right off the bat, you're greeted with a guy standing in front of a cheap video camera and speaking in a hilariously awful "menacing" voice about the "nightmare world" you're about to enter.

    Dude, you're introing a movie with a giant ape man called "Max Assassin". That's not a nightmare world for anybody but the people who probably now regret using their real names in the credits.

    Anywho, once that schlemiel finally stops yapping, the feature presentation begins. I've got to give them credit here: they cold-open into a sequence that basically throws the entire bag of tricks at you right away. A cartoon world mad scientist (a guy in a rubber mask with googly eyes... no joke) tortures and kills a little kid (played by a 20-something man... again, no joke) in wacky cartoonish ways. So within five minutes, you've got the gist of what's going to go down for the rest of the movie, and you can safely throw the DVD in the trash and get on with your life. Sadly, I have no life to get on with, so I kept watching.

    I'm tempted to outline the cinematic atrocities scene by scene here, but I'm not that cruel. So here's the quick rundown: An 8 year old girl played by a 30 year old porn star (!) receives a mysterious DVD in the mail called "Terror Toons" (just like the movie we're watching! Hyuk hyuk!) which was created by Satan to kill people and make the world's children into sinners and abuse MS Paint and photo morphing software and green screens and clip art. (Seriously, there are no words to describe the eyerape that is "Terror Toons")

    So some 20-30 year old "teenagers" have a house party while the kid watches the DVD in her room. One thing leads to another, and the mad scientist and his ape pal come out of the TV and start slaughtering everybody in extremely graphic yet childish ways. An incoherent mess of a plot starts forming near the end, but is cut abrupt by further insanity.

    That's it. That's really all there is. Clip art, obnoxious sound effects, rubber masks, admittedly interesting kills that hearken back to H. G. Lewis, and the stiffest acting in history. Did I mention clip art?

    Terror Toons 2: The Sick and Silly Show - 0/10
    Ever the masochist, I immediately chased Terror Toons with it's sequel. "Maybe they learned from their mistakes", I foolishly thought. HA! Everything bad about the first movie returns here, except much, much worse. Same exact plot, different setting. This time it's Hansel and Gretel instead of Doctor and Ape, a much larger body count, Damien instead of Satan, and MORE CLIP ART.

    The acting is marginally better, but only in the way that Miley Cyrus is marginally better than Justin Bieber. It's still pure shit. And I do admit to chuckling at the musical chairs scene and Damien's plans for the "ultimate monster". Any improvements made were immediately nullified by everything else, though.


    *My apologies for the length, but I find it impossible to review these movies without at least trying to convey the utter mess they consist of.

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