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What would you say?

posted by Strong Bad Fan on - last edited - Viewed by 380 users

Say, you could actually talk in this bloody game. What conversations would you have with the cast and what do you think the reactions would be. Hell, if you want to, tell me what all your dialogue would be, because I'm bored, and require entertainment. Ill put something up later.

15 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • "I actually DO have baby hands."

    It's true.

  • id ask max how he survived the explosion or how his hive mind works.

  • ME: Strong guy!
    Heavy and SB: What?
    ME: Um... Little Strong guy. Guess what!
    SB: You're coming up with more ways to screw up my name?
    ME: Yes, but that's not it. I've had more ladies then you!
    SB: What!? There's no way YOUR Dweebface has had more ladies then me
    ME: I've had 3 girlfriends, there has only been one girl around you at any given time for at least 13 years. She hates you.
    SB:Shut up. I've been with so many ladies I can't even name them all.
    ME: Because they dont exist.

    At this point SB would likely get up on to the table and try to kill me. I would likely kick him back into his chair.

  • @Remolay said: ME: Strong guy!
    Heavy and SB: What?
    ME: Um... Little Strong guy. Guess what!
    SB: You're coming up with more ways to screw up my name?
    ME: Yes, but that's not it. I've had more ladies then you!
    SB: What!? There's no way YOUR Dweebface has had more ladies then me
    ME: I've had 3 girlfriends, there has only been one girl around you at any given time for at least 13 years. She hates you.
    SB:Shut up. I've been with so many ladies I can't even name them all.
    ME: Because they dont exist.

    At this point SB would likely get up on to the table and try to kill me. I would likely kick him back into his chair.

    You do know strong bad has once grabbed and thrown the king of town out of his house.
    Plus the heavy likes strong bad, and would defend him along with max since they seem to work together, tycho would be on your side though.

  • Yeah, the "Throwing king out of the castle" bit I missed. I think Heavy would consider this battle dishonourable, and I'd have Tycho on my side. I think Max would go with the side of "Who ever is kicking more butt."

  • Here are some of the things I'd say:

    Check:
    [LIST][*]I want to see what the next card is before I do anything stupid.
    [*]Hmm ... how much should I bet? ... nah, on second thoughts, check.
    [*]Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't play this. But if you're not going to put in any money then fine.
    [*]I fold. Oh wait, I can check this hand. I'll do that then.
    [*]Wait for it ...
    [*]Cheeeyeck.
    [*]Keep calm and carry on.
    [*]I'm not putting in any more money than I have to.
    [*]Check, and if anyone raises I will smash their skulls with this crowbar.[/LIST]

    Fold:
    Before anyone makes a bet/raise:
    [LIST][*]Isn't this statistically the worst possible hand you can have?
    [*]Damn it, this is as bad as that other hand!
    [*]Suddenly I have a strong feeling of déjà vu.
    [*]Miracle hand, where the fuzz are you? (At this point one of the other players may claim they've got it.)
    [*]I think I'll just sit back and watch you guys fight. It's really quite entertaining.
    [*]These cards can rot in hell.
    [*]These cards can go burn in the fiery pits of hell whence they came!
    [*]*choking noises* Yeah, I'm allergic to bad cards.
    [*]Watch this crappy hand turn into something awesome now that I've folded.[/LIST]
    After someone has made a bet/raise:
    [LIST][*]Finally, I have an excuse to fold this crap.
    [*]My hand's good, but not that good.
    [*]Screw you!
    [*]The one time I get a hand that's worth playing at the current amount, and you go and do that!
    [*]I hate you.
    [*]Time to pull out, methinks.
    [*]Stop doing that!
    [*]*robotic voice* I KILL YOU!
    [*]No deal.
    [*]Well that makes this decision a whole lot easier.
    [*]All in! Oh sorry, I mean all out.[/LIST]

    Call:
    [LIST][*]I'm only doing this so I can see what happens next.
    [*]Meh, I suppose I can afford to lose that much.
    [*]Now this is a good hand.
    [*]I'm not folding these!
    [*]I'm not letting you get away with doing nothing and winning! (I'd say this if I am small blind and everyone else before me folds before the flop.)
    [*]*sigh* If I have to ...
    [*]Let's see what happens if I insert one more coin to continue.
    [*]Deal.
    [*]This'll most likely bite me in the backside, but oh well.[/LIST]

    Bet/Raise:
    [LIST][*]Someone once said, "Those who are strong, bet weak, and those who are weak, bet strong." With that in mind, I raise a hobo's sum.
    [*]You call that a bet? This is a bet!
    [*]Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?
    [*]Objection! You're bluffing, and to prove it I'm going to raise this much!
    [*]Achoo! *knock chips in "accidentally"* Oh my, how did those get there?
    [*]There's not enough money in the pot. Time to fix that, methinks.
    [*]YEAAAAAH! WOOOOOOT! *ahem* Pretend that never happened. Anyway, I put in this much.
    [*]I have the urge to do something stupid.
    [*]Don't mind me, I'm just your friendly neighbourhood raiser.[/LIST]

    All in:
    [LIST][*]*sigh* Clearly the miracle hand is never going to come. I'll just bet what I have left and you guys can fight over it.
    [*]Sod it, all in!
    [*]Judgement Day. The final curtain. Do or die.
    [*]Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!
    [*]*deep breath* Here I go!
    [*]Allons-y! As they say in Germany ... if they're speaking French.
    [*]Poker ninjas, don't fail me now.
    [*]I have the urge to do something completely and utterly moronic. Wheeeeeeeee![/LIST]

    Win a hand:
    Everyone else folds:
    [LIST][*]Wow, I thought my bluff was really obvious.
    [*]Wise decision everyone.
    [*]Aww, I wanted to win more than that.
    [*]I knew you'd all fold to me. Every time I put in that much, everyone folds for some reason.
    [*]Hah! I was bluffing the entire time!
    [*]Now I know how much to raise whenever I want all of you to fold. Thank you everyone.
    [*]Well this doesn't usually happen. Not that I'm complaining.[/LIST]
    At least one player stays to the end:
    [LIST][*]Ooh, so close yet so far.
    [*]Wait, my hand was the best on this table? Seriously?
    [*]There's a reason why I felt comfortable betting that much.
    [*]Let that be a lesson to you: I don't bluff.
    [*]Thank you everyone, but the winning cards are with another player.
    [*]You tried to bluff, eh? Well I'm here to give you the fate you deserve.
    [*]Smell that? That is the smell of getting owned.[/LIST]

    Busted out:
    [LIST][*]I wasn't expecting to win. I'm not that good at this game.
    [*]I'm really quite surprised I made it this far.
    [*]I don't suppose you could offer any tips to a complete moron could you?
    [*]It's like I always say: I know how to play poker; I just don't know how to play well.[/LIST]

    Win the tournament:
    [LIST][*]What? I won the whole thing? But I'm, like, the worst poker player ever. I never win a tourney. You guys must suck really bad.
    [*]I'm now considerably richer than I was before this tournament. What should I spend the winnings on? More game development tools, perhaps? Yeah, that sounds fun.
    [*]*hallelujah chorus*
    [*]I can now add poker to my resume, along with hearts, bridge, cribbage, nap, rummy and go fish.
    [*]Cue the awesome theme song.[/LIST]

    Misc:
    [LIST][*]NINJAS! (This would be for when, during a showdown, someone who is currently losing gets a card that makes them win. For example, Max has a higher pair than Strong Bad but then the next card is a 10 and it gives Strong Bad a straight.)
    [*]Grrr! If I hadn't folded ... (This would be for when, after folding, the cards that come out would give me a three of a kind or better. I'd say this regardless of what everyone else's hand is.)
    [*]What? Impossible! Objection! (This would be for when, at the end of a hand, I have two pair or better and get beaten.)
    [*]I should not have done that. (This would be for when I'm losing in a showdown.)
    [*]You should not have done that. (This would be for when I'm winning in a showdown.)
    [*]Beep! Calculating probability of success. Beep! (This would be what I say when thinking about what to do.)
    [*]If you're wondering whether or not I'm bluffing right now, it means I'm not. (This would be my taunt.)
    [*]Holy schnitzel! (This would be for when someone else makes a big bet.)[/LIST]

    I'll edit this if I can think of any more.

    I'm also thinking of what various other characters from other media would say if they were in this game.

  • Mostly, I'd be swearing at Heavy and Strong Bad, and occasionally Tycho.

  • Fold:
    *Oh, HELL no.
    *KHAAAAAAAAN! Sorry, I don't know what came over me. I fold.
    *Let me put it this way: I would burn these cards, but I forgot to bring my matches.
    *I'm not one to judge, but this is the worst hand I have ever recieved. Fold.
    *If my luck had a face, I would give it a black eye right about now.
    *No. Just... no.
    *My riff is over. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go smash my guitar.
    *My invisible magic 8 ball says "screw this."

    Checking:
    *All wings, check in.
    *Check please.
    *We're gonna need a bowl for all this Chex Mix.
    *Check me in.
    *I'd like to check.
    *The fun never stops, does it?
    *Warning: Checking may be hazardous to your health.

    Calling:
    *Hell yeah!
    *I'm in it to win it!
    *I call your pathetic excuse for a bet.
    *My invisible magic 8 ball says "It's on, bitch."
    *I'll call, but only so I can humiliate you further.
    *What's your cell number? I'd like to give you a call.

    Betting/Raising:
    *I'm feeling confident, so I'm gonna bet.
    *(yawn) I bet. Whatever.
    *That's not a bet. THIS is a bet.
    *I'm raising the roof!
    *My invisible magic 8 ball says, "throw in some chips, you sissy."

    All In:
    *Let's see... How much should I bet? Well, "all of it" sounds good, so let's go with that.
    *Ah, screw it. ALL IN!
    *I'm doing it. I've thought about this hand after hand, but it's finally time. All in.
    *Gentlemen, I'd like to take this time to say: ALL IN, BITCH!

    Win by everyone else folding:
    *You're not even going to try? Sissies.
    *Aw, man! I was hoping I could squeeze you for more money.
    *At the rate this is going, I won't even have to look at my cards in order to win.
    *(Hysterical laughter) You seriously thought I had a decent hand? You guys are so stupid!
    *Thank you for the free money!

    Win by having the best hand:
    *Let this be a lesson: don't f*** with me.
    *I'm going to rake in this pile of chips in recognition of the fact that you suck.
    *I promised myself I wouldn't laugh, but after seeing those cards, I am forced to break that promise.
    *I would like to point out two facts. One, your cards suck. Two, I win.

    Loss:
    *Well played, you magnificent bastard.
    *If I had the ability to unhinge my jaw, it would be on the floor right now.
    *I'm not having fun anymore. I hope you're happy.
    *You better hope I don't find out where you live.

    Winning tournament:
    *I am the champion, my friend.
    *There could be only one. I'm glad it was me.
    *Good game, guys. After-party at my place!
    *I came, I saw, I kicked ass, and I chewed bubblegum. Top THAT, Piper.

    Losing Tournament:
    *Well, the good thing about losing is that you can't steal any more of my money. Not if you want to live.
    *Can someone direct me to the nearest bank? I need to make a... withdrawal.
    *Screw you guys, I'm going home.
    * Luckily, I'm tired of this game now.

    Miscellaneous:
    *That money could buy me a nice pair of pants. Which would be useful right about now.
    *Holy mother of Jesus!
    *THAT is a lot of money
    *iMadre de dios!
    * I don't know about this. Let me consult my invisible Magic 8 ball. (Starts shaking invisible ball) Shaka shaka shaka...

  • Fold:

    - I love how it's mostly about luck in this game. I also hate it.
    - And they looked so promising, too.
    - *Folds* ... Oh God, wait - can I take that back?!

    Calling:

    - Okay. I can do that.
    - I'll go along with your game, dude.

    All In:

    - *Pushes all chips in* You know, you're probably looking at this little black impy thing, and wondering, 'What, is she crazy?' Oh, she could be. "Could," being the key word here.

    - I kinda wonder how such a club can be so wonderfully relaxing. Probably the dim, ambient lighting, the low-paced, acoustic tunes of awesome videogames, or this Long Island ice tea I just downed. By the way, I'm all in.


    Win by everyone else folding:

    - *Grins* Oh, you guys!
    - Huh. Really? Well, if you insist.
    - Though I'm thankful for your contribution, you realize I just had a two and a five in this round, right? Just letting you know, so you can beat yourself up about it now, as opposed to later.

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