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The Depression and Advice Thread

posted by Davies on - last edited - Viewed by 875 users

This thread is here for us to share our fears and any elements of life which we feel are dragging us down. The idea is for us all to help contribute advice to each other and make the people of this world forum happier in their lives.

Introduction video and my own feelings of depression.

Apologies for the poor editing in my video. It was originally a 6 minute dialogue, where I revealed far too much personal information. I ended up taking the video down from YouTube and reuploading a heavily edited version (hence the dodgy edits).

119 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • Oh wow dude. Sometimes you read people's posts online and everyone is funny and awesome and you don't really see this kind of stuff. I often feel horribly out of place with folk, and in any group I always end up being the guy who is reasonably nice and can make people laugh, but who nobody really bothers about too much. I've been down quite massively for the last 9 years now, and it's lead to me being sent to hospital a couple of times.

    I can imagine this being quite a downbeat thread really... what do you tend to do when you get these feelings? I listen to music and play chess.

    I think doodo! started a thread similar before. Dunno if he's still around.

  • @doodinthemood said: Oh wow dude. Sometimes you read people's posts online and everyone is funny and awesome and you don't really see this kind of stuff.



    Yeah, that's why I decided to make a video. I didn't think that simply typing my thoughts would have conveyed my depression to the extent that I'm feeling it. That's the problem with forums and the Internet in general; it can be very impersonal.

    @doodinthemood said: I often feel horribly out of place with folk, and in any group I always end up being the guy who is reasonably nice and can make people laugh, but who nobody really bothers about too much.

    I'm kind of similar. I have some very good friends but I'm the type of person who won't talk about my problems. I'm the one in my group of friends whose always cracking jokes and making other people laugh but when I'm alone; I'm so angry and sad.

    @doodinthemood said: I've been down quite massively for the last 9 years now, and it's lead to me being sent to hospital a couple of times.

    I'm very sorry to hear that; have you got in touch with your GP/doctor regarding therapy or perhaps some form of medication (such as an anti-depressant)?

    @doodinthemood said: I can imagine this being quite a downbeat thread really... what do you tend to do when you get these feelings? I listen to music and play chess.

    Well, since posting my earlier video I decided to cheer myself up by writing the first draft of a short story that's been on my mind for well over a year now. I'm going to do a couple more passes on it in order to tighten it up and then I'll be recording a reading and posting it online for people to listen to. That's generally the key to cheering me up; creativity (that and booze but drinking is a very temporary solution and not good for you).

    Also, as you say; music's good too. Though, I'm never sure if I should put on an album which reflects my mood, such as Dark Side of the Moon or a happy upbeat album, in opposition to my mood.


    @doodinthemood said: I think doodo! started a thread similar before. Dunno if he's still around.

    Sadly he was banned. I miss him even if others may not.

  • I like the idea of this thread. Even if certain aspects of life are harsh, please try to keep it civilized and remember that my grandma reads these threads, so don't make her cry. : ) (aka keep it nice)

  • @Silverwolfpet said: I like the idea of this thread. Even if certain aspects of life are harsh, please try to keep it civilized and remember that my grandma reads these threads, so don't make her cry. : ) (aka keep it nice)



    I'm glad you like the concept and I endorse your viewpoint of keeping things civilised. Also, I would like to take this opportunity to reinforce that this isn't merely a thread for people to vent about the stresses in their lives but also a forum for people to offer each other advice.

    I want this thread to be a positive thing, that happens to deal with negative issues.

  • I'm sorry you feel so down, Davies and I can somewhat empathize, though lately I've been feeling far too panicky lately to leave any room for feelings of depression. Maybe that's a solution. I mean, I know when I've got an approaching deadline, I just find I don't have time to think about things that make me miserable.

    Does pile on the stress, though, so maybe it isn't all that helpful.

  • @Alcoremortis said: I'm sorry you feel so down, Davies and I can somewhat empathize, though lately I've been feeling far too panicky lately to leave any room for feelings of depression. Maybe that's a solution. I mean, I know when I've got an approaching deadline, I just find I don't have time to think about things that make me miserable.

    Does pile on the stress, though, so maybe it isn't all that helpful.



    Thanks for your thoughts.

    The problem is that I suffer from agoraphobia, so leaving the house is kind of tricky. I'll try and occupy my time a bit more with creative projects. Also, I recently started a very small job at a local cinema so hopefully that will help.

  • I act like a dick to cope with frustrations I can't express in real life, and because that's just who I am on the Internet. Mostly because of the latter though.

    But anyway, depression, at least clinical depression, is hard to "cure", as in, you will never get rid of depression. I myself have been depressed since 2009 (or earlier, perhaps dating back since 2007 or so), and didn't know it until the start of last year. I don't even know why I became depressed (which is all too common for depression, most often you don't even know why you feel the way you feel). I think part is because I felt and still feel like I haven't accomplished anything, that things don't move as fast as I would like. I'm 26 years now, and I still am in the same courses I should have finished three years ago.

    But I don't know. I still am not sure why I am still feeling depressed. I one day hope to do the things I love, like writing and stuff, making games, but it always feels like there isn't enough time for that.

  • @Davies said: Thanks for your thoughts.

    The problem is that I suffer from agoraphobia, so leaving the house is kind of tricky. I'll try and occupy my time a bit more with creative projects. Also, I recently started a very small job at a local cinema so hopefully that will help.



    Have you tried behavioral desensitization?

  • @DAISHI said: Have you tried behavioral desensitization?



    Yeah mate, I learned about that during my two year long therapy sessions. I've put it into practice and it's not exactly a huge improvement. To be honest the whole of therapy only helped slightly.

  • I find that one of the biggest contributors to depression is simply isolation. If you're already feeling some sort of sadness, then leaving yourself to your own thoughts - giving yourself too much time to dwell upon your emotions and the darker aspects of your life - is only going to allow that sense of sadness to build and inflate into depression. Being around other people is healthy. It keeps you grounded in reality, in a sense, and doesn't allow you to drift off and escape to the intensified darkness and sadness that you create in your mind during times of seclusion.

    Because they are two separate realities - interaction and isolation. Being around other human beings allows you to gauge your feelings, and to understand the true extent of your problems, because you're in the company of others who are struggling with many similar problems. But being in isolation gives you the ability to mentally build up your feelings and problems and tell yourself that what you're going through is a deeper darkness and a more profound sense of sadness, and there's nobody there to pull you back or tell you otherwise.

    Of course, it would be a complete insult to say that depression is all in your mind; that's not true, of course, because we all have reasons for why we're feeling depressed (even if we can't always quite put our finger on them). But it is at least partially a state of mind, and you need something or someone else to influence that state of mind, because, if you're already in a state of depression, then you're not capable of lifting yourself out of trouble; a sad, self-pitying mind can't fix itself.

    So, yes, time must be spent with other people, and life must be lived either within a community or within a set of relationships. And not just so that you can gauge where you are in life, but also simply because other human beings can bring joy into your life. I'm a person who likes my own company, and enjoys the peace and quiet of solitude, but the times when I have been at my happiest have been when I've spent most of my time in the company of others. People make me laugh, they make me smile, they keep me entertained, and they also bore me, make me angry and make me frustrated, but very rarely do they make me sad; sadness is something that I produce when I'm alone. Last year, I had the least amount of human connection that I've ever experienced. I was procrastinative, and often put off seeing people because I saw it as a chore. I spent all of my free time simply consuming media, surfing the internet, and sometimes dedicating time to little projects here and there, all-the-while telling myself that this is the life that was suited to me, because I was naturally someone who 'enjoyed my own company'. But, truthfully, I was down, I was sad, and my life wasn't enjoyable.

    This year, I've been spending a lot more time with people, because I've finally made a concerted effort to do so. I've stopped being procrastinative, and stopped living only for myself, and have instead devoted time to the lives of people who enjoy my company, and wanted to spend time with me during my period of self-enforced isolation. It started as a selfless decision, but, in turn, it actually made my life a whole lot happier, enjoyable and fulfilling. In addition to this, I've also taken on a job which entails a whole lot of human interaction. I almost fell into this job by accident, and was expecting not to like it at all, because I was under the impression that I couldn't be bothered with people - a prideful mindset that I unfortunately adopted for far too long. But, day to day, I'm given the opportunity to speak to a whole lot of interesting people with whom I'm happy to converse and interact with. It's a fulfilling process; giving time to people, putting effort into engaging with them.

    No matter what sort of person you are, this is the reality - you HAVE to spend time with people. You have to unselfishly, and (often) unwillingly spend time with other human beings - frustrating, annoying, irritating, infuriating fellow human beings. If you make an effort to connect with other people (and if you also do it without the intention of gaining something), then your life will automatically be brighter.

    And, on this same topic, you also need friends for the purpose of venting. The main reason why thoughts and emotions fester inside you is because you've got no healthy outlet for it. Friends provide that for you. Un-judging friends who you can give an honest account to are invaluable. And whether they're within walking distance, and can be talked to face to face, or they're on the other side of the world and can only be communicated to over a gaming forum, it doesn't really matter - so long as you've got people you consider to be friends, and you can trust, then venting and admitting your problems to them is a huge part of lessening the impact of your emotions.

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