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The Depression and Advice Thread

posted by Davies on - last edited - Viewed by 1.6K users

This thread is here for us to share our fears and any elements of life which we feel are dragging us down. The idea is for us all to help contribute advice to each other and make the people of this world forum happier in their lives.

Introduction video and my own feelings of depression.

Apologies for the poor editing in my video. It was originally a 6 minute dialogue, where I revealed far too much personal information. I ended up taking the video down from YouTube and reuploading a heavily edited version (hence the dodgy edits).

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  • I want to let everyone know I support this thread and Depression has affected me more now than it ever has.

    last year I lost my nephew and My father. I feel lost with out them.

    I also struggle with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from my years in the military.
    wich caused to alcoholism and me being a constant drunk. The most important thing I feel to fight depression is to know the love of family and friends.

  • Davies, you sound like me. Hayden is right when isolation is a major factor in depression. I've been heavily depressed most of my life, and heavily isolated. I spent most of my childhood alone, and I spent most of high school alone. It's really only been in the last two years I've begun to lose my isolation and come out of it a bit. I mostly turned to humor and art and escapism to deal with it, and learning as well. In my worst moments I became an intensely bitter, evil-minded, cruel coward who hoped the worst for others, was paranoid and suspicious of everyone, mostly women, and delighted in being a shit and making people look like idiots. Because of my cowardice I could never carry my malice out to any great extent. When I was happy my good qualities came out but I wasn't happy most of the time. I did try to make friends but most people thought I was too weird because I thought differently and wasn't like them, and thought I talked and acted how I shouldn't. Truthfully, I didn't talk enough. Women shunned me and if they talked to me I was bullied and scorned, and any friendships I made with them didn't last and ended in me getting convinced by them I was the worst sort of human being and shouldn't cause any great concern if I were dead. This caused me to grow a great mistrust of and hatred for the female gender. The only one who treated me remotely nice was the strangest but funniest girl in school, probably because she understood me. A lot of that is still in me, but I'm not like I was. I was worse when I was a kid. I had a vicious temper and I enjoyed hurting people. I don't have a great view of humanity, and I don't believe I'll succeed ultimately in anything because I'm cursed, but I do whatever the hell I want because I refuse to give anyone power over me and I enjoy doing what I do. I've always felt that my paranoia might not have been paranoia at all though, but just an extremely keen eye for what people were thinking and the badness inside they try to hide from others.

    Right now my life is so good I'm afraid because I know a down is coming at some point. I have a wonderful girlfriend. I have extremely loving parents. I have my DREAM job and the beginning of my dream career. I have an ever-growing skill at art, game design, and writing. I have the ability to watch and critically study any movie or piece of art I choose. I'm living in my own dream.

  • It is important to note that isolation is not a natural state for human beings. The species has evolved as a social creature and, removed from that, a human can have a number of abnormal reactions to what others would consider normal stimuli. As an aside, online relationship are not a total replacement because of the dynamic hormonal interactions that are absent from online interactions.

  • @Secret Fawful said: Right now my life is so good I'm afraid because I know a down is coming at some point. I have a wonderful girlfriend. I have extremely loving parents. I have my DREAM job and the beginning of my dream career. I have an ever-growing skill at art, game design, and writing. I have the ability to watch and critically study any movie or piece of art I choose. I'm living in my own dream.

    I think the only thing that could possibly get in your way at the moment is pride. If you simply keep your morals, maintain the appreciation of your loved ones, and expel the insidious notion that you're superior to the people around you, you won't fail. It all starts with humility; keep that at the forefront of your mind, and your relationships will prosper. It will also help you work well within a team, which is what game design is all about.

    I know I'm probably just stating the obvious here, but it's a virtue so many people seem to forget.

    @Secret Fawful said: As an aside, online relationship are not a total replacement because of the dynamic hormonal interactions that are absent from online interactions.

    This is true. However, it is better than nothing. Sharing his current struggles with us will probably do Davies a whole world of good in comparison to not letting it out at all. But there's a lot of merit to what you say; it doesn't quite compare to the real, entirely organic nature of direct person-to-person communication. That's not to say that online/textual communication can't be of use in an emotional context. Just to re-iterate, it's better than nothing.

  • I agree to disagree. While are species has evolved online interactions are important as well. Because we can still read eye contact and tone of voice.

  • I think online interaction has its benefits when it comes to putting together a really thoughtful, complex set of ideas and thoughts that you need to explain in a way that's clear and understandable. Often, a lot of things that you need to convey to someone can't be articulated face-to-face in the same way they could through a letter or a formal message. And even if you are able to do so, your emotions (nervousness, frustration, for example) can get in the way and hamper the message you're trying to deliver, or you can be interrupted by the other person. I guess online communication can help you say what you've gotta say in a way that's really organized, without as many other factors influencing the delivery of the message.

    So yeah, I guess both forms have their merits.

  • Well I won't say I have a full blown depression, but I have had a rough life that has really torn me apart. It's only now I am slowly gluing back the pieces, it's a slow process but I am taking one tiny step at a time.

    So what I have is Social Anxiety, and Low Self-Esteem. It has developed over my years in school, which is the case for must people.
    I was always the target for bullies, and people would ignore me and shun me.

    Another thing is I don't feel worthy of anything, I never feel I am worthy of posting on this forum, just because I don't sound smart enough.
    I envy people for being able to form sentences better than me, and people who can discuss and I can't. I always feel my arguments are never true and therefore I never participate in discussions.

    I hate doing mistakes, even the smallest mistake makes me feel like a monster because I did it and didn't see it as a mistake my self, I always hate when I have been told it was a mistake and I didn't see it my self.

    Sometimes I can pretend I am two people and have a go at my self, so I say hurt full things that make me cry, but at the same time it makes me feel good because I am punishing my self.
    Before I used to hit my self in the head with big books.

    In a young age I began playing computer games, and so I fled in to that world where everything was much better than real life.

    So I lived my life alone with my games, have believed for years I can't do anything. I would never go anywhere because I was afraid to talk to people, and when ever I had to talk to strangers, I would get panic attacks days before I had to go.
    At one point I felt everything was hopeless and I would never in my dreams finish my education. I didn't have what it took, I was not smart enough.

    But now here I am, 2 years later and I am 1 month away from fully finishing my education at my work placement, and I have completed my exams with very high grades.
    And I seriously think my education and my job has helped me open up more, as it involves interacting with a lot of people.

    But when I think about it, I don't seriously think bullying was who made me the way I am, yes it's a contributing factor, but I think it's just how I developed as I was always on my own and was never taught different as I was never interacting with anyone.

  • I like this thread :-)

    In work atm so i'll keep it shortt and sweet. Keep yourself busy, be assertive and don't dwell on things, that's how i get myself through those difficult days.

  • I've had bipolar disorder for years, but as soon as I started soundwave therapy i.e. Theta Wave Brain Synchronization and Transcendental Meditation, it went away, never to return. You can listen to the soundwave therapy stuff for free at www.gethighnow.com . Namaste.

  • I'm not saying online relationships don't have benefits, but optimal interaction requires face to face contact. I see online relationships as beneficial, but also as a stepping stone.

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