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The Depression and Advice Thread

posted by Davies on - last edited - Viewed by 835 users

This thread is here for us to share our fears and any elements of life which we feel are dragging us down. The idea is for us all to help contribute advice to each other and make the people of this world forum happier in their lives.

Introduction video and my own feelings of depression.

Apologies for the poor editing in my video. It was originally a 6 minute dialogue, where I revealed far too much personal information. I ended up taking the video down from YouTube and reuploading a heavily edited version (hence the dodgy edits).

119 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • @proudmama said: after suffering from major depressive episodes I know that there is a vast difference between unhappiness and depression . Unhappiness does not put you into a hellhole that permeates your entire being.



    That's very true. I believe that statistically only one in four people will experience depression at some point in their lives. I know people who've never had depression and they have a had time understanding the symptoms of those who suffer.

    @proudmama said: I am so very happy to get relief. Yes I am a a less compassionate person and I miss that part of me but I laugh ,smile and dance now and am thankful for having lived my life.

    I'm unsure of just how compassionate you were in the past but I can assure you that you certainly come across as a genuine, kind and certainly compassionate person. Also, no matter how old you are, no matter how depressed; there's always room for a laugh, a smile and yes, even a dance.

    @proudmama said: When I say "know that you are loved" I do not mean it in a trite ,,superficial way. The fact that you are sharing says that you love yourself enough to share. The fact that strangers will spend time reading and responding says that they Love
    You. Not the mushy ,gooey , at times hypocritical love , but you are a fellow human being and i will take some of the precious limited minutes of my life and hope my words will give you an iota of peace. Peace to you .

    Aw, you see... that's the compassionate side of yourself that I was referring to.

  • I am comfortable in darkness.

    Okay, I was avoiding this thread for a period of time. I was waiting until all the "think happy thoughts" posts were all done and over with. I was diagnosed at age 8 with a form of clinical depression. At this time it was almost constant. Okay, who here had serious thoughts of suicide in grade 3? Anybody? No? All right, I'm the only one screwed up here.

    After seeing a psychiatrist(the whole time) and being medicated for a steady ten years(for that, and a few other chemical imbalance problems), I opted out of the medication route. Don't worry, this isn't turning into a finding Jesus story. So, after high school, I got a job and pretty much did nothing but collect movies and sit alone watching them for a good few years. Through this time, the depression(which, in my case, can be triggered by any little thing), became less constant and I was able to think in an introspective manner.

    Eventually, I came to terms with my inability to control what happens around me and what will inevitably happen to me in the future. I came to understand the darker side of myself and the darker thoughts which accompany it. Some times, the thought progression of "there's nothing I can do about it, why dwell on it, think of something else" does work, but other times, it just hits and can stay with me for hours or even days with nothing I can do about it.

    There lies my point that many others, even most of those who get bouts of depression, just don't understand. Some times, there's nothing you can do. There's no amount of love, no amount of money(except if you choose to spend it doping yourself up on psychiatrist prescribed drugs that really mess with you after long term usage...trust me), no amount of happy thoughts, no secret password that can make it go away, besides time. You have to find the will within yourself to ride it through, to just keep going. Hey, it beats the alternative... Make life rue the day it thought it could give you lemons!

    I have a loving family and a loving girlfriend. They are well aware of this problem, but I do my best not to drag them through it. I do my best to keep it inside. Sympathy and depression really do not mix. Think of it as someone trying to joke around with you when you are really pissed off. It's similar in the way that it just makes it worse. Plus, then they feel bad on your behalf.

    I hold my thoughts to myself, I suffer in silence, my name is Robert and I'm comfortable in darkness.

  • @Johro said: I am comfortable in darkness.

    Okay, I was avoiding this thread for a period of time. I was waiting until all the "think happy thoughts" posts were all done and over with. I was diagnosed at age 8 with a form of clinical depression. At this time it was almost constant. Okay, who here had serious thoughts of suicide in grade 3? Anybody? No? All right, I'm the only one screwed up here.



    Johro, Sir; I like you but that's some bullshit that you've just typed right there. You're the only one who's screwed?! Many of us have problems and all of them different in our own way. Okay, so I didn't feel suicidal in grade 3 but the number 3 and the word suicide still have relevance to me, seeming as I've attempted suicide on three occasions (the last time, I came very, very close to succeeding).

    The point is that you're not alone in your depression and by saying things like "I'm the only one screwed up here" is an injustice to the problems that many others face. In life, there's always someone better off than you and there's always someone who's worse off than you.

    I hope you don't take my words too harshly. After all, you're one of my favourite forum members but I felt I had to say something in response to your post.


    I hold my thoughts to myself, I suffer in silence, my name is Robert and I'm comfortable in darkness.

    You may be comfortable but I think that it's really important for you to express your feelings to others. It doesn't have to be black and white, it doesn't have to be either "I'll talk about my depression with others" or "I won't mention it". There is a happy medium.

    Either way, talking about such things on a forum is at least something.

  • @Davies said: Johro, Sir; I like you but that's some bullshit that you've just typed right there. You're the only one who's screwed?! Many of us have problems and all of them different in our own way.



    I did not intend that part to undermine the problems others face and I do apologise for that and as well for attempting to make light of the matter, which is one of the ways I cope. The statement regarding being eight years old was still true though and is extremely rare. Even a few child psychologists couldn't figure it out as most childhood issues are fairly straight forward and mine wasn't so. At the time I had no experiences with death, all my relatives were alive, so their solution? Put him on a lower dosage adult medication. Doping your kids with Prozac wasn't "in" at the time and after being switched around through various pills, I ended up on Zoloft. By the time I was a teenager, I was on a maximum dosage and started having problems with general thought processing. I started to do rather poorly in school even though I am fairly intelligent(may not seem like it here as I wasn't too big on reading and writing growing up, as I had bigger problems, so my vocabulary isn't as vast as some people), a poster boy for negative long term effect issues. So I stopped that. Anyway, death will have to take me kicking and screaming if it wants me now. Pvt. F.C. Hudson style, baby.

  • @Johro said:
    I hold my thoughts to myself, I suffer in silence, my name is Robert and I'm comfortable in darkness.



    You could be on the cover of a Nine Inch Nails album.

  • I am not very good with the copy part so I will do the best I can.Dear Robert
    At such a young age it must have been a frightening experience to go through what you did ,but you are no longer that child. I think many of us have experiences as young children that leaves a profound wound and then manifests itself in various facets of our life. It is interwoven with who we are and who we really are. what you experienced was horrendous and always will be but you are no longer that child.I know that I do not know the answer for you,but I bet deep down in the dark you do.I do not know your age but I hope that you will find peace,not happiness ,but peace.I believe that you know that your life has value . I can tell by how you have struggled and survived . The remark about the age is meant that you are still young in years because it takes a lot of courage and maturity in a quest for peace .I hope that I did not sound that I take your letter lightly because I did not

  • Well I've gone back into another slump.

    Just... I dunno... down. Really down.

    Haven't slept properly in the last few days. Been trying to get up early to work on assignments, but just can't concentrate.

    I mean, its not like I've not had the time to do at least one, because I have, and if this was a few months ago, then maybe I could have done it, but my brain just isn't letting me work.

    I just got a horrible migrane today. Its so bad its almost making my physically cry.
    Have to come back in for attendance.
    Haven't been in the last three weeks. Been trying to do my assignments, but just couldn't focus my attention on them.

    I sent a email to the course leader for help, but it looks like he's given up on caring about me now.

    I mean, I was fine, but now I just want to die.
    I'm not even joking. I'd rather just cease to be than have to put up with this headache any longer.

    I'm missing my best friend. Haven't seen him in months. I miss him so much.

    And I'm just not gelling with anyone here. People seem to judge me all the time, at least, I feel that way.

    I'm probably being stupid, its probably the sadness, lonliness and paranio talking, but being such the odd person I am, I'm not sure.

    I just want to thrown all this uni business in the bin. Its just too much for me.
    I know I'm not 100% interested in management anymore, in fact, maybe I never was.

    I just wish I wasn't pressured by society, my parents, even by myself into going to uni, and instead just doing what makes me happy.

    All Uni has given me, is thousands of pounds of student debt, an overdraft, a headache, and losts of misery.

    My best friend was the lucky one, I wish I was as brave as him, and bail out, but I'm afraid.
    Fear. Such a powerful drug. Forces people to do things they don't want to or would even think about doing.

    My parents wouldn't understand if I quit. I know they want whats best for me, they want me to get on in life, they have been indoctrinated by society glorifying degrees.

    And thats the thing, degrees these days are barely worth the paper they are written on.
    Sure some degrees for specialist jobs are great, but the rest, though they have their uses, they aren't worth much in the job environment.

    In a world where almost everyone has a degree, its experience and skills that count.

    Whats the point of all this knowledge if you can't apply it. Most of it is just going to waste.

    Hell, I'm much happier practicing the guitar, or designing games, or twiddling with software and hardware, because I get to learn, apply that learning, and use it for future use.
    That is worth more than 100 degrees!

    Happiness. Thats all I really want in life. Is it really so hard to attain?

    EDIT: Look at all those mistakes. How pathetic!
    This is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm in no state to do any assignments.
    I just want to go to bed!
    Oh God! The more depressed I get, the worse this headache gets.

    I just want to get this stupid tutorial done, go home and hopefully, unbrick my PSP.

    EDIT 2: And thats the thing! I'm not even stupid or lazy really, (well maybe a little lazy..).
    I could outperform most of the people here at uni. I'm good at going out and learning stuff and applying that learning, but I just don't have the drive or the focus for it.

    EDIT 3: I don't want to drag you guys down by dumping this on you, but no one seems to be listening at home or at uni.
    They can't help but see me as being over dramatic, or lazy and making excuses, but I don't think I am.
    I mean, they obviously can't read my mind on this one, and well even i can't capture all the malignant thought attacks my own mind has been hitting me with over the last few weeks.

    I just want to do something else. Pack up the board game, put the cards away, close the book, you get what I mean...

    EDIT 4: See that above ^

    Thats what my mind is like at the moment.
    A flurry of random thoughts and emotions.

    I should go and see an non-biased quack for once.

    EDIT 5: I mean I know we all have to do stuff we don't like in life, but doing something you don't like every day for hours on end and its slowly crippling your ability to think and care, is just a bit cruel.

  • Well I posted a long reply and it somehow disappeared so I will attempt to summarize . Please see a specialist re ? Of migraine cause. It could be neurological,endocrinological,or hormonal so many reasons that are treatable.
    2 remember that you have a right ,and deserve the right to exist on this planet the same as everyone else. your life has value .
    3 I wish I could help share your pain but I can't, but I will share time to read and respond to your notes
    4 when I was in the hospital I chose to lock the rest of the world out .I was free
    5 Happiness is overrated. I will take Peace of mind .
    6 Sometimes , all you can do is "just be"

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    Anonymous

    how do i tell my family that i am a brony without getting embarassed

  • @proudmama said: Well I posted a long reply and it somehow disappeared



    Now this makes me depressed. I hate forgetting to copy my colossal posts, and have them eaten by the forum.

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