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Rate The Last Movie(s) You Watched

posted by Secret Fawful on - last edited - Viewed by 20.3K users

Same as the Rate the Last Game You Finished topic but with movies. There should be more film talk around here. So, I'll start off with the movies I've seen in the past few days.

Law-Abiding Citizen - 5.5/11

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World - 7/11

Sword of the Stranger - 9/11

Blade Runner: Final Cut - 11/11

Blade Runner is one of those films I want to love but also want to hate.

1.8K Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • Last watched a fan-edit of The Phantom Menace that basically turned it into an absolutely hilarious comedy. How? I present to you the trailer for The Ridiculous Menace.

    Now imagine nearly two hours of that. It may sound like it's too much, but trust me - it's hilarious. 10/10.

    (It's on FanEdit dot something if you want to grab it. No actual links - pretty sure that's against the rules)

  • I'll admit the Walking On Sunshine bit was pretty good.

  • Dark Shadows: 1.5/10

    Serious spoilers, but I doubt anyone cares about this movie, so I'm not going to bother with tags.

    Good God, this movie was awful. I don't know why I went to go see it. I KNEW it would be awful and I still went to go see it. The plot seemed to be constructed simply to string together a series of scenes that had interesting special effects, with several bits of senseless destruction that I didn't even understand. There was some sort of thing about rebuilding the family business, but neither Barnabas nor the family seemed to know the first thing about setting up a business and we didn't really get to see much of that anyways because the plot seemed to revolve instead about a romance that didn't even make sense!

    Seriously, we've got absolutely no motivation for this romance except that the girl kinda looks like the girl he used to be in love with. But we don't know why he was in love with the original girl so the whole thing seems kinda trivial. Neither the girl nor Barnabas ever shows anything that could remotely be construed as love. He even nearly forgets to save her at the end, preferring to cause senseless destruction and show no emotion at all while doing so. It was kinda like bad Twilight. Which shows how awful the love story was. I predict a new meme, Twilight: still a better love story than Dark Shadows.

    There's also some sort of plotline where there's this bad father and his crazy son... but then the father just up and leaves so I guess that's the end of that plot? And there seems to be no real reason for Helen Bonham Carter. She's supposed to help psychoanalyze the kid and the family seems to spend a lot of money for her to do that, but all she ever seems to do is stagger around drunk when she isn't trying to seduce Barnabas. Or steal his blood. There was an obvious attempt at a sequel here, but I doubt anyone would ever go back for seconds on this.

    Oh, and there's the girl stereotypical teen who acts like how everyone feels that stereotypical teen girls act. Somehow she's a werewolf because she was bitten as a baby... and how did her mother not know this? HOW? Wouldn't you notice if your infant turned into a miniature monster every full moon or something? Maybe she's just really unobservant or something.

    Basically, the only reason I didn't give it a zero was because it was a fairly pretty movie and the first ten minutes or so were okay. There was a Jurassic Park-esq sequence that was kinda neat where poor construction workers are dragged off and killed by an "unknown" assailant... except that you already know that there's a vampire running around by this point so any suspension is lost there. And I gave half a point for a scene where Barnabas kills a group of hippies... because I'll confess I actually chuckled at that part, but I don't think it was supposed to be as funny as I found it.

    Yeah, my end verdict is to only see this movie if you're a masochist like I am.

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    puzzlebox Telltale Staff

    @Alcoremortis said: And there seems to be no real reason for Helen Bonham Carter.

    The reason is Tim Burton and a wedding ring.

  • @puzzlebox said: The reason is Tim Burton and a wedding ring.

    Well, yeah, but they could have disguised it slightly better. At least give her something to do that makes sense.

  • It doesn't help. Look at Resident Evil. The main characters are side characters and while the first film was an okay idea as a stand alone story. Moving it into the known universe has just made me wish it to die...or at least Alice... at first. Now I just want the whole thing to die. THIS is something that needs a reboot...or just to not exist.

  • The Resident Evil movies, you say? Hmm...

    [Starts scribbling stuff down]

  • I still think Knox's version of Resident Evil is the best version! :D

    Celine Dion is making me melt!!

  • cbe6c098f2d08ff419e8718e34d639d7c5661134

    One of the best action adventure-horror films I've seen since Tremors, Evil Dead 2-3, and The Blood and Ice Cream Duology.

    100%- believe.

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