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Bordom Kills.

posted by KingOfTheDead on - last edited - Viewed by 418 users

Since i'm bored i'm gonna write how i think season two should begin.

Episode 1: We Introduce our new Character Daniel Sanchez(well i call him that for now)Daniel is about twenty years old and has survived in Savannah for quite a while. He Decides the city isnt the write setup especially for a weakling like him who survived from scavenging from the dead corpses and empty store. So He packs his supply's(which is very little and decides to head out(This takes place about 3 hours after lee died giving the zombies time to leave and etc.) As he leaves his save haven he hears a bell ringing in the distance. Daniel decides to pick up his pace to avoid any walkers in the vicinity. As he jobs he sees a freshly eaten corpse he throws up at the stench of this dead body but while he looks at it he notices a pistol(This gun Being Lees/Carly's gun) after picking it up he wipes the blood off with his shirt he is wearing. In the midst of his wiping his newly found gun he hears a scream. He Rushes and sees a figure with a Orange coat on the ground with a broken ice pick. He sees walkers heading he way so he makes a decision to save this person so he pulls out his newly found gun and shoots down every zombie. He runs to help this figure up, asking for there name and if he was okay. The figure introduces itself as molly. She tells Daniel how her i pick broke while trying to climb the building but then yells at him for being and idiot and using his gun telling him it attracts more of the walkers(geeks she calls). Then there was the sound of moaning.molly know she cant scale this building with out her precious Hilda asks the player to give her a boost without disobeying he boosts her to the fire escape she lowers the ladder so he can get on and they both escape to Molly's hiding hole
The End
This was just something i wrote because i was bored didn't put that much effort into it put post feedback idc. :D

12 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • The idea is ok, but needs some logic proof, for instance in a city like savannah whats the chance of him running across Lees corpse like that? why is he in savannah? you need to flesh these details out in storys like these. I'd suggest trying to set a bigger background for your character too, for instance Lee started heading to jail with a crime, what did daniel do before the outbreak? it was ok but it was more of a fanfic story than a idea.

    I would wonder how he got into savannah to begin with, i am pretty sure the only survivors in savannah are people who were from crawford with the possible exclusion of campman.

  • @Sir Fruitcakes said: The idea is ok, but needs some logic proof, for instance in a city like savannah whats the chance of him running across Lees corpse like that? why is he in savannah? you need to flesh these details out in storys like these. I'd suggest trying to set a bigger background for your character too, for instance Lee started heading to jail with a crime, what did daniel do before the outbreak? it was ok but it was more of a fanfic story than a idea.

    I would wonder how he got into savannah to begin with, i am pretty sure the only survivors in savannah are people who were from crawford with the possible exclusion of campman.

    It was just an idea at first i wanted him to be from crawford then i was like f*ck it there were some back story details and other things i wanted to add but wasn't sure. The corpse who know maybe he was still hiding in crawford made his way aound the bodies then just seen his corpse. But truly i wanted the season two character to have a cameo and lee asks him to end him since lee wouldnt kill himself.

  • @KingOfTheDead said: It was just an idea at first i wanted him to be from crawford then i was like f*ck it there were some back story details and other things i wanted to add but wasn't sure. The corpse who know maybe he was still hiding in crawford made his way aound the bodies then just seen his corpse. But truly i wanted the season two character to have a cameo and lee asks him to end him since lee wouldnt kill himself.

    I dunno I can't see them cameoing, I Think everyone will be able to die in EP5 and the next season will be a brand new group.

  • First off, I want to apologize for my negative feedback. I mean nothing by it, just by a writing standpoint some of your ideas seem.... off.

    Firstly, your grammar is really, really bad (you used the word 'wright' when you had meant to say 'right' . You need to stay in a certain perspective if your going to write, You switched between third person to first person, than back again. In the walking dead, they have never referred to the dead as 'Zombies' other than in text, but never spoken. You must stick to calling them 'Walkers' or 'The Dead'. Molly would not walk up to the protagonist and strike up a conversation with him, she is very hesitant to people, this is seen easily when she goes all ninja on Lee in the magazine booth. When your protagonist threw up, you make it seem like hasn't been in contact with the dead since this started, he would be used to the smell by now. A final note, the name 'Sanchez' reminds me of a certain sexual act, but that's just my opinion :rolleyes:.

  • i can call a zombie a zombie molly calls them geeks but some how everyone calls them walkers you can call them whatever you prefer :/
    i said boredom was what made me write this plus its what you call a rough draft.

  • @KingOfTheDead said: i can call a zombie a zombie molly calls them geeks but some how everyone calls them walkers you can call them whatever you prefer :/

    Based off of all of Robert Kirkman's work, the word "zombie" isn't spoken, but you have a point, they do call them "Geeks" in the show, in the comic, and now in the game.

    Don't get me wrong, I support your idea, but it needs work. I've done my own bit of zombie fan fiction writing for a man named Paul Wells in my signature, based off the same rules of Robert Kirkman. Give it a read, might give you some ideas.

  • @Motordead said: Based off of all of Robert Kirkman's work, the word "zombie" isn't spoken, but you have a point, they do call them "Geeks" in the show, in the comic, and now in the game.

    Don't get me wrong, I support your idea, but it needs work. I've done my own bit of zombie fan fiction writing for a man named Paul Wells in my signature, based off the same rules of Robert Kirkman. Give it a read, might give you some ideas.

    i love your feedback man. I know but i think it was like a reference like someone said "that there not like they are in the movies" not 100% but even in there movies were they called walkers?
    im reading the story too :3

  • @KingOfTheDead said: i love your feedback man. I know but i think it was like a reference like someone said "that there not like they are in the movies" not 100% but even in there movies were they called walkers?
    im reading the story too :3

    It all depends on the author of the original work. For example anyone can write a book about Star Wars, but in order for them to do that they need to write within the aspects that George Lucas has brought into his universe, being it's author. They cannot change his story or use his characters without his approval, unless they have no intention of publishing their works, aka Fan Fiction.

    Now you technically can change some of the rules, kinda like how people have written stories of how Carley survived being shot in the face. But in order to stay in the same universe as Robert Kirkman, you have got to use his rules. I've been critiquing your work as if it were a work that you intended on publishing, now I know that you aren't but the more critical you are on a piece of work, the better it will become.

  • @Motordead said: It all depends on the author of the original work. For example anyone can write a book about Star Wars, but in order for them to do that they need to write within the aspects that George Lucas has brought into his universe, being it's author. They cannot change his story or use his characters without his approval, unless they have no intention of publishing their works, aka Fan Fiction.

    Now you technically can change some of the rules, kinda like how people have written stories of how Carley survived being shot in the face. But in order to stay in the same universe as Robert Kirkman, you have got to use his rules. I've been critiquing your work as if it were a work that you intended on publishing, now I know that you aren't but the more critical you are on a piece of work, the better it will become.

    that paul wells story is funny

  • Thanks, I had to get Dave in there doing something stupid lol.

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