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Envelotech: Help Wanted!

posted by Shauntron on - last edited - Viewed by 814 users

See today's exciting announcement here.


So you'd like to be a Telltale Envelotech tester? Just answer this quick survey!

If the statement applies to you, put an X in the checkbox and post your replies in this thread.

[ ] Are you a fan of Telltale Games?

[ ] Over the age of 18?

[ ] Can you hold your breath for 10 minutes?

[ ] Do you have medical insurance?

[ ] Any history of mental illness?

[ ] Are you the current head of your household?

[ ] Are you an orphan?

[ ] Would you be missed?

[ ] Would you ever use the word "fireproof" to describe yourself?

[ ] Do you have a limited number of facial expressions?

[ ] Do you wear vests?

[ ] Do you have a weak stomach or any other dietary concerns?

[ ] Are you allergic to cheetahs?

[ ] Would you call "taste-testing Banang varieties" one of your goals in life?

[ ] Can you tell the difference between a Coelophysis and a Compsognathus?

[ ] Ability to think clearly under pressure?

[ ] Are you unnerved by spontaneous monkey noises?

[ ] Willing to work weekends?

It's just that simple! Hope you get you into the game soon!

50 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • [X] Are you a fan of Telltale Games?
    They are my density.

    [X] Over the age of 18?
    You mean months, right?

    [X] Can you hold your breath for 10 minutes?
    No, but I can hold someone else's. Come fight me if you want to say that doesn't count!

    [ ] Do you have medical insurance?
    I was supposed to get it Friday, but it turned out to be an April Fool's joke . . . (True story!)

    [X] Any history of mental illness?
    That's a good thing, right?

    [X] Are you the current head of your household?
    My lizard tried to fight me for it but I distracted her with crickets.

    [ ] Are you an orphan?
    (Pulls out machine gun). That can be arranged.

    [ ] Would you be missed?
    Were I to disappear, the dishes in the sink would evolve into a lifeform and consume my roommates. So . . . no, I guess.

    [ ] Would you ever use the word "fireproof" to describe yourself?
    No. Nor would I use it to describe those who get in the way of me and what I want. (Evil grin)

    [X] Do you have a limited number of facial expressions?
    I smile when I'm angry.

    [ ] Do you wear vests?
    Shoot! I left mine in the 80s!

    [ ] Do you have a weak stomach or any other dietary concerns?
    No. My stomach recently beat Hulk Hoggan in a wrestling match. It was grizzly.

    [ ] Are you allergic to cheetahs?
    Only the ones with spots.

    [X] Would you call "taste-testing Banang varieties" one of your goals in life?
    I have dedicated my life to the tasting of Banang and all its varieties, including Raspbang, Strawbang, Tangerang, and Fruity Tropical Sensation-ang.

    [X] Can you tell the difference between a Coelophysis and a Compsognathus?
    Yes, but it's irrelevant. I would run equally fast from either.

    [X] Ability to think clearly under pressure?
    I'm channeling my inner Freddy Mercury now.
    Mm ba ba de
    Um bum ba de
    Under Pressure! Pushing down on me!

    That's what you mean, right?

    [ ] Are you unnerved by spontaneous monkey noises?
    I want the monkey!!!!!!!!!

    [ ] Willing to work weekends?
    The question is not if I'm willing to work weekends. (Pulls out machine gun) The question is whether or not you're willing to try and make me!


    So . . . I seem pretty mentally stable, right? Dare I say, shoe in?

  • [X] Are you a fan of Telltale Games?
    I used to be an avid fan. Since BTTF, I've been a skeptical, mild supporter.

    [X] Over the age of 18?
    Yes

    [ ] Can you hold your breath for 10 minutes?
    Can you?

    [X] Do you have medical insurance?
    "Why, did you want to borrow one?"

    [X] Any history of mental illness?
    I have Attention Deficit Disorder (w/o hyperactivity) and an irrational fear of fluffy buttery-flavored doorknobs.

    [X] Are you the current head of your household?
    and sometimes the butt of a joke.

    [ ] Are you an orphan?
    Nope, but the sun'll come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar.

    [ ] Would you be missed?
    I'm a mister, thanks.

    [X] Would you ever use the word "fireproof" to describe yourself?
    I like fire. You're not afraid of a little arson, are you?

    [X] Do you have a limited number of facial expressions?
    I keep them in a lockbox in the trunk of my car.

    [ ] Do you wear vests?
    Nope.

    [ ] Do you have a weak stomach or any other dietary concerns?
    I choose not to answer as the answer may serve to incriminate me.

    [ ] Are you allergic to cheetahs?
    I choose not to answer as the answer may serve to incriminate me.

    [ ] Would you call "taste-testing Banang varieties" one of your goals in life?
    I would rather like to taste-test the "purple stuff"

    [X] Can you tell the difference between a Coelophysis and a Compsognathus?
    Yes.

    [X] Ability to think clearly under pressure?
    How many psi is one able to withstand before their brain implodes?

    [?] Are you unnerved by spontaneous monkey noises?
    Depends. Normal monkeys, no. Monkey Kombat, yes.

    [ ] Willing to work weekends?
    What work would I need to force weekends into doing? How exactly does one make a day of the week do work?

  • User Avatar Image
    Shauntron Telltale Staff

    @Avistew said:

    Do we get paid?

    Work is its own reward!

    So is survival.

  • [X] Are you a fan of Telltale Games?
    Yes
    [ ] Over the age of 18?
    It's called child labor GET WITH IT!
    [X] Can you hold your breath for 10 minutes?
    Yes i'm part fish
    [X] Do you have medical insurance?
    Yep
    [X] Any history of mental illness?
    Yes
    [ ] Are you the current head of your household?
    Nope
    [ ] Are you an orphan?
    Nope
    [X] Would you be missed?
    Only for a day or so
    [ ] Would you ever use the word "fireproof" to describe yourself?
    No
    [X] Do you have a limited number of facial expressions?
    Yes i only have 12 facial expressions
    [X] Do you wear vests?
    Only orange vests
    [ ] Do you have a weak stomach or any other dietary concerns?
    Nope
    [ ] Are you allergic to cheetahs?
    Nope
    [X] Would you call "taste-testing Banang varieties" one of your goals in life?
    Been trying to reach that goal my whole life
    [ ] Can you tell the difference between a Coelophysis and a Compsognathus?
    Not at all
    [ ] Ability to think clearly under pressure?
    Nope i never think clearly
    [ ] Are you unnerved by spontaneous monkey noises?
    No
    [X] Willing to work weekends?

  • [X] Are you a fan of Telltale Games?

    [ ] Over the age of 18?

    [ ] Can you hold your breath for 10 minutes?

    [X] Do you have medical insurance?

    [ ] Any history of mental illness?

    [ ] Are you the current head of your household?

    [ ] Are you an orphan?

    [X] Would you be missed?

    [ ] Would you ever use the word "fireproof" to describe yourself?

    [X] Do you have a limited number of facial expressions?

    [X] Do you wear vests?

    [X] Do you have a weak stomach or any other dietary concerns?

    [ ] Are you allergic to cheetahs?

    [ ] Would you call "taste-testing Banang varieties" one of your goals in life?

    [ ] Can you tell the difference between a Coelophysis and a Compsognathus?

    [X] Ability to think clearly under pressure?

    [X] Are you unnerved by spontaneous monkey noises?

    [X] Willing to work weekends?

    Think I got this.

  • [yes] Are you a fan of Telltale Games?

    [Yes] Over the age of 18?

    [7 1/2, srry] Can you hold your breath for 10 minutes?

    [some] Do you have medical insurance?

    [no, the monkey in my pocket is real] Any history of mental illness?

    [yea, single] Are you the current head of your household?

    [no] Are you an orphan?

    [eventually i guess] Would you be missed?

    [unusually fireresistant counts?] Would you ever use the word "fireproof" to describe yourself?

    [pretty addept, but no facedancer] Do you have a limited number of facial expressions?

    [If nececcary] Do you wear vests?

    [no milk please] Do you have a weak stomach or any other dietary concerns?

    [cheetahs no, cheaters make me uneasy tho] Are you allergic to cheetahs?

    [minor quantities as an ocational flavor enhancer in grog, mostly.] Would you call "taste-testing Banang varieties" one of your goals in life?

    [yea i can, even when the size difference isn't a dead give away] Can you tell the difference between a Coelophysis and a Compsognathus?

    [yea most kinds, not sure about black holes tho] Ability to think clearly under pressure?

    [no, but my pocket monkey is] Are you unnerved by spontaneous monkey noises?

    [only if its betatesting a new game;)] Willing to work weekends?

  • [X] Are you a fan of Telltale Games?
    But that's only as long as im plugged into the electrical socket and my blades are spinning.

    [X] Over the age of 18?
    Like lukewarm milk that's been out of the fridge for a couple of hours im ripe for the taking.

    [ ] Can you hold your breath for 10 minutes?
    I've actually been working on a way to become immune to breathing, so far i've had some success with plastic bags taped over my head, next step is freezing my head into a block of ice.

    [X] Do you have medical insurance?
    I live in sweden, free healthcare *wink wink*

    [> ] Any history of mental illness?
    Half an X since im not sure about what i should say here, i mean 9 out of 10 doctors agree that im sane..... the tenth i ate.

    [ ] Are you the current head of your household?
    Nah got a girl for that, as long as i supply her with manmeat she makes the decisions.

    [ ] Are you an orphan?
    Do you want me to be? *grabs axe*

    [ ] Would you be missed?
    Im easily interchangeable with anything with a pulse :)

    [X] Would you ever use the word "fireproof" to describe yourself?
    Since i breath fire and poop lava im pretty sure that's the right term to use.

    [X] Do you have a limited number of facial expressions?
    I've traded most of them on the blackmarket for skittles :D

    [X] Do you wear vests?
    In what other way can a Gentleman frolic on the pastures?

    [X] Do you have a weak stomach or any other dietary concerns?
    So far my stomach can't handle anything stronger than lava, but give me a year or two and i'll have that fixed for you.

    [X] Are you allergic to cheetahs?
    Who iznt gurl?!?!?!?! I sayz dat a cheetah dun get dis fajn assssssbootay!

    [X] Would you call "taste-testing Banang varieties" one of your goals in life?
    Im sorry.... But if it was possible for me to get ahold of banang b y killing and eating every last of our kind.... i'd start stuffing my face. omnomnomnomnom

    [X] Can you tell the difference between a Coelophysis and a Compsognathus?
    *SQUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
    Well actually that depends on what state it's in.
    If they're both alive then it would not be a problem.
    Dead on the other hand i'd call em both chicken. *see precious question to make sure i'm a glutton*

    [>] Ability to think clearly under pressure?
    Are we talking deep sea pressure or pressed situation?

    [ ] Are you unnerved by spontaneous monkey noises?
    I make spontaneous monkey noises that unnerve people.

    [X] Willing to work weekends?
    my pimp would not allow anything else

  • User Avatar Image
    Vainamoinen Moderator

    t-t-t-thread necro!!

  • Ooo! I never did this, did I? Let's have some fun with it.

    [X] Are you a fan of Telltale Games?
    ...oh dear. Let's go with 'yes', just to simplify things.

    [X] Over the age of 18?
    Physically, yes. Mentally...

    [X] Can you hold your breath for 10 minutes?
    Yes, but not consecutively.

    [X] Do you have medical insurance?
    I'm not 100% sure it covers 'driven insane after being forced to work checkouts for long periods of time and slaughtering every customer within sight', but yes.

    [ ] Any history of mental illness?
    Nothing diagnosed, but then again that's just because they haven't come up with a name for it yet.

    [ ] Are you the current head of your household?
    No. Give me a few minutes with a pick-axe though...

    [ ] Are you an orphan?
    See previous question.

    [X] Would you be missed?
    Absolutely. My cat would starve to death. Especially if my parents were dead.

    [ ] Would you ever use the word "fireproof" to describe yourself?
    I don't think I'm anything proof.

    [X] Do you have a limited number of facial expressions?
    Yes, but the number's really, really high.

    [ ] Do you wear vests?
    Vests are for people afraid of being cold. The pansies.

    [ ] Do you have a weak stomach or any other dietary concerns?
    Are you calling me weak?

    [ ] Are you allergic to cheetahs?
    I've never met one I didn't like. And then slaughtered with my bear hands.

    [X] Would you call "taste-testing Banang varieties" one of your goals in life?
    It is now!

    [X] Can you tell the difference between a Coelophysis and a Compsognathus?
    Absolutely! One's got more letters than the other.

    [ ] Ability to think clearly under pressure?
    Me? Think? Clearly you've never met me.

    [ ] Are you unnerved by spontaneous monkey noises?
    The only things that unnerve me are Britney Spears, the inevitability of death, the letter Q and Mondays.

    [X] Willing to work weekends?
    As long as I don't have to work Mondays. That seriously unnerves me.

  • User Avatar Image
    Vainamoinen Moderator

    All right, all right. We'll give it a shot.


    [X] Are you a fan of Telltale Games?
    Mostly... yes.

    [X] Over the age of 18?
    Yes.

    [ ] Can you hold your breath for 10 minutes?
    I've never tried and I never will. So, maybe.

    [X] Do you have medical insurance?
    By German law, yes I have.

    [X] Any history of mental illness?
    Philanthropy might be considered a mental illness, so yes.

    [X] Are you the current head of your household?
    I am the one in my household with a head, so yes.

    [ ] Are you an orphan?
    Thankfully, my mother is still around.

    [X] Would you be missed?
    By few, but yes, very much so.

    [ ] Would you ever use the word "fireproof" to describe yourself?
    I melt pretty quickly.

    [ ] Do you have a limited number of facial expressions?
    My facial expressions are vast, my face is like a rubber mask and lends itself to exaggerations of Christopher Lloyd proportions. So, not only according to Gary Faigin, no I don't.

    [ ] Do you wear vests?
    I don't think I ever did. I wouldn't be afraid to though.

    [X] Do you have a weak stomach or any other dietary concerns?
    The weak stomach, maybe. My nutrition is my concern, but I don't have dietary concerns by definition.

    [ ] Are you allergic to cheetahs?
    Probably not.

    [ ] Would you call "taste-testing Banang varieties" one of your goals in life?
    Taste-testing ANYTHING is one of the horrors of my life. I don't get why people risk it.

    [ ] Can you tell the difference between a Coelophysis and a Compsognathus?
    My authority on dinosaurs is James Gurney. Whatever he knows about dinos, I do not need to know. So, no.

    [X] Ability to think clearly under pressure?
    Mostly, yes. I seem to have the ability to blank out EVERYTHING but the thing that gives me pressure though. I'm a focused machine that will do the most complicated work at hand absolutely perfectly and in record time while at the same time fucking up the most elementary things of everyday work life.

    [ ] Are you unnerved by spontaneous monkey noises?
    Can't be much worse than the noises I work by every day. To concentrate on completely other things while my boss goes on a rant nearby or while colleagues play toss the chocolate is kinda sorta my present job requirement.

    [X] Willing to work weekends?
    I need my time out, and I don't want it broken into little pieces. But it's absolutely of secondary importance WHEN I get my time out. I have no particular dislike of Saturdays or Sundays or Mondays, come to think of it.

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