User Avatar Image

If Ep. 4 was 5 minutes long and 100% honest

posted by Red Panda on - last edited - Viewed by 931 users

EXT - SAVANNAH STREET

The groups is walking through the streets of Savannah to set themselves up for danger later on.

CLEM
Can't I at least hold the walkie-talkie? You
haven't even asked me who the guy I
was talking to is or explained why
he is dangerous.

LEE
I said no. We're not following
that plot until the final episode.

CLEM
Okay.

CHRISTA
Remember me and Omid? We had the
distrust for total strangers last
episode? Now we're following you and
want your permission to rest.

KENNY
Since I only care for or disregard
other people's lives when it
creates tension, I'm going to say
no. We move to the boat.

LEE makes a decision that quickly becomes pointless when he looks up and
sees MOLLY ringing bell towers.

LEE
I'm going to attract attention to the group by screaming at that
mysterious figure I just saw.

BEN
I'm going to be as annoying as
possible this episode so I'll start by
questioning if you saw anything for no apparent reason.


CHUCK sees some zombies while everybody is ignoring the fact
a loud bell is ringing like it's dinner time and their the meal.

CHUCK
I'm a drunk homeless man but I'm
going to say an archaic quote to
draw people's attention instead of
something like "Run! Walkers are
coming."

LEE
I got you, Chuck. Run everybody!


Untold amounts of walkers appear from seemingly nowhere and
the group gets surrounded. For no logical reason CLEM and BEN get
separated from the rest of the group and get trapped. BEN
runs instead of easily saving CLEM so you hate him more.
LEE unloads unlimited amount of ammo to kill the walkers
around CLEM but still fails. CHUCK the drunk intellectual
saves CLEM.

CHUCK
Go on ahead! I'll hold them off. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.

LEE
I just met you last episode and you were kind of a dick with the whole "she's going to die" thing so yeah...

CHUCK
Don't try to save me.

LEE ignores the minor character and runs away. The group
finds a house and after an easy puzzle LEE unlocks the doggie
door. CLEM goes through it and opens the door.

CLEM
Ta da! I was frightened of walkers
finding us in the backyard but I
suddenly had no fear when running into
a dark house alone were I might be trapped with one. By the way, I'm
going to be pretty much doing
whatever I want all episode to
setup the plot for the next. But
I'll do useful things so you don't
get too annoyed until then.

LEE
Don't ever risk your life again!

CLEM
You hurt my feelings. I hope you feel guilty for acting like a responsible adult.

CHRISTA
I'm judging you for being so harsh on her
even though the last episode I
judged you for putting her in
danger.

They walk into the house.

65 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • didn't read LOL....... jk
    pretty funny stuff :D

  • funny ?

    really ?

    wow just wow..

  • cmooon post next, cant wait :D

  • This is so funny! I want more XD you should do this for episode 5 :)

  • This essentially nails all the reasons why I don't like Ep 4

  • Is the next part coming anytime soon or has Red Panda stopped?

  • Come on Red Panda!! We want more, it's so funny!

  • INT. RANDOM HOUSE - KITCHEN

    VERNON
    Who's this?

    MOLLY
    He didn't tell you? I'm the sassy
    action girl. I saved him and I have
    attitude which is often just me
    being incredibly rude! Who's the
    fossil?

    LEE
    This is Molly. This is Vernon. Now
    that you two have met we can start
    the second act.

    CHRISTA comes running into the KITCHEN for dramatic effect.

    CHRISTA
    Lee! Thank God you're here! Omid
    has become worse. You don't have
    any medical training so I don't
    know why I'm coming to you but Omid
    needs your help!

    LEE
    Vernon is a doctor! ...I found in
    an underground lair. In the sewer.
    Where he was going to kill me.
    Will you help, Vernon?

    VERNON
    (pause)
    It's what I was written for.

    LEE goes to look for CLEM.

    INT. RANDOM HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

    LEE finds KENNY getting drunk and BEN looking like an
    asshole.

    LEE
    I'm looking for Clem but I'm going
    to take a moment to be upset by you
    being drunk, Kenny, because my
    priorites are fucked up.

    KENNY
    We're hold up in a fortified house
    and have nothing else to do. Plus,
    my family just died violently hours
    ago. What does it even matter?

    LEE
    I don't know but I'm upset. Ben,
    have you seen Clem?

    BEN
    You put me in charge of watching
    her but don't put it all on me
    she's missing. That said, I think
    she's in the backyard where walkers
    and strangers can find her. She's
    fine.

    LEE
    You are just really working this
    hate thing, aren't you.

    BEN
    Yeah.

    EXT. RANDOM HOUSE - BACKYARD

    LEE looks around at some shit and then starts opening the
    shed when CLEM bust through the doors and shoulder charges
    Lee's dick

    CLEM
    (hugs Lee)
    Lee!

    LEE
    You're really turning into Carl Grimes
    this episode but I'll ignore your
    reckless, disobient behavior and
    ask what you were doing.

    CLEM
    I was foreshadowing my disaperence
    later in the episode when I found a
    boat.

    LEE
    Damn, you're adorable.

    CLEM
    Swear.

    KENNY comes out to look at the boat. He drops the bottle of
    Whiskey he's been drinking and smiles at the boat in an
    awkwardly sexual way.

    INT. RANDOM HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

    The group comes together to establish their motivations for
    going to the most dangerous place in the city.

    VERNON
    My people need medicine and I know
    the layout.

    CHRISTA
    Omid needs medicine.

    KENNY
    The boat needs a battery and fuel
    for the haphazard boat plan.

    MOLLY
    I want to escape on the boat I just
    learned about with people I just
    met.

    BEN
    You know how I've been building up
    the hate all episode, foreshadowing
    my possible death? Yeah, I actually
    don't want to go. It's kind of a
    suicide mission.

    KENNY
    Kid, waiting around here is
    suicide.

    BEN
    No, I'm pretty sure this is safer
    for me.

    LEE
    Do I have a choice?

    CLEM
    After thinking about what Carl
    Grimes would do, I want to go!

    LEE
    Clem, do you remember what happened
    when another little kid was around
    dangerous people with guns and
    walkers? You were there for that.

    CLEM
    I've seen so much death but
    inexplicably have no sense of my
    own mortality. And because of my
    reckless behavior this episode you
    feel more compelled to take me on
    this incredibly dangerous, totally
    inappropriate mission for an 8 year
    old to be on. Unless you want me to
    run off again, or be kidnapped, or
    be left with a man half dead. Feel
    guilty or worried yet?

    LEE
    Fuck.

    CLEM
    Swear.

  • Red Panda is back to speak more truth!

    No one mentioned that maybe taking Clem was a bad idea, not because it was dangerous, but because if anyone in Crawford looked in her general direction, they would definitely realize that the kid wasn't one of the regulars.

    Also strange was that no one mentioned that maybe stealing stuff was wrong or would put Crawford in danger. Everyone decided to become a bandit/raider at the same time without questioning it. Molly and Vernon I could understand, since they had history with Crawford, but everyone else was just taking their word at face value that Crawford were scum.

This discussion has been closed.