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Rate The Last Movie(s) You Watched

posted by Secret Fawful on - last edited - Viewed by 20.1K users

Same as the Rate the Last Game You Finished topic but with movies. There should be more film talk around here. So, I'll start off with the movies I've seen in the past few days.

Law-Abiding Citizen - 5.5/11

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World - 7/11

Sword of the Stranger - 9/11

Blade Runner: Final Cut - 11/11

Blade Runner is one of those films I want to love but also want to hate.

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  • Shawshank Redemption - 9.5/10

    Brilliant film, there's really nothing I can say about it apart from it's awesome. (Think I forgot to put it on my list of fave movies though, silly me).

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    Vainamoinen Moderator

    The Hobbit 6/10

    Was able to watch it yesterday. For those of you who saw my rants a year ago, it might even come as a surprise that there's a six up there.

    Quality of adaptation - deplorable.

    It's official. Jackson and his wacky writer crew are crap at adapting the works of Tolkien, and particularly The Hobbit. How Bilbo was lured into this adventure was acceptable in the movie version for me. Close enough to Tolkien, the stretches were applied for reasons of greater credibility, and by far not as 'long' as I had assumed after I read the first reviews.

    But Bilbo is not a fighter and that's that. Jackson was entirely unable to understand how Bilbo could earn the dwarves' respect with any other deed than capability in battle. In the book, Bilbo kills a bunch of spiders. In the movie, he's probably still sixty minutes from those spiders at the end, but has already killed a Goblin (yeah, that's what you call them in the Hobbit actually) and some Wargs (!) AND has saved a Dwarf King from being killed by his arch enemy, with sword in hand. When Bilbo tried to distract the trolls, attempted to talk his friends out of the frying pan, I was OK with it. If that could be Bilbo's strength in the movie, so be it. That's like him. But Bilbo was never, ever Thorin's "battle companion". He fucking MISSES the battle with the dragon, and he fucking MISSES the battle of the five armies. Would someone tell Peter Jackson that Tolkien was trying to tell us something?!?

    The Hobbit never lent itself to the kind of 'epicalisation' Jackson is desperately trying to shove down the viewer's eyes and ears.

    I'd better not start about that Santa Clown LotR-overflow wizard impersonator they put in. That was far more than a 'stretch'.

    Dialogue - deplorable.

    "Show, don't tell". Could someone write that on Peter Jackson's retina? The idea to show the dwarves as a rather mixed group of societal outcasts without experience in battle - excellent. Just telling the spectator exactly that? Lame. The idea to treat Bilbo's wish to join the dwarves as a kindhearted understanding of how Thorin & Co. lost their home? Believable, even ironing out a bit of Tolkien's story credibility. But putting a "you lost your home" speech in Bilbo's mouth? Entirely unprofessional. But the worst was the Galadriel-Gandalf conversation, when the Grey tries to explain why he chose Bilbo for this adventure. Poor, poor McKellen, who had to speak this infantile tomfoolery, this excrement-became-words. That's not even pathos. It's just crap.

    The cameos - bearable, yet still not welcome.

    My greatest fear was that the LotR cameos would be so prolonged that they would throw the Hobbit movie off track. Well, this thankfully was only half true. The completely nonsensical frame story with Holm and Wood was rather short, at least considering that this is a 160 minute movie. The White Council is unnerving in that it bears no connection to the Hobbit story and that the dialogue was probably written by an eight year old. But at least we're done after ten minutes! Of course, Elrond hasn't spoken a word to Bilbo, yet again, just like in the Lord of the Rings movies. Too busy talking with a bunch of people who had no place in the book, for good reason.

    The actors - solid to excellent.

    What really saved a lot of this movie for me was that I could believe Martin Freeman to be Bilbo and Ian McKellen to be Gandalf. Richard Armitage is impressive as Thorin, but suffers most from Peter Jackson's ugly writing mishaps. He will always be perceived as a wannabe Aragorn, because Jackson is unable to portray Thorin in any other way.

    The battle scenes - too constructed, too repetitive

    It is considerably baffling that Peter Jackson did not at all expand his visual battle vocabulary in the last decade. Every quarter hour someone is "charging someone else". The duels are almost unwatchable, the evident "epic" turn taking of the opponents is so embarrassing, I have to puke (this already completely ruined Eowyn vs. Nazgul for me; why no one has told Peter that his is not the way a duel ever occurs is beyond me). For Jackson, it's all first you strike, then you step back, take a hit, then you strike back and cut his arm/head off. Duel after duel is ruined by this lackluster orchestration, particularly Thorin vs. Azog and Gandalf vs. Goblin King.

    The action - boring and repetitive

    Gandalf calls the Eagles? Seen it. Our heroes balancing on breaking stone? Seen it. Warg riders attacking a trek? Seen it. Gandalf surprisingly saves the day at sunrise, presented contre-jour? Yawn.

    The digital effects - nice, but on a 2001 level.

    I was mostly entertained by the digital parts (the dwarven fortress particularly), but never saw them rise beyond what I've seen TEN years ago. Obviously, no money whatsoever went into the illusion that Bilbo and the dwarves are actually smaller than Elves or Men. Every hour or so, ONE halfway convincing greenscreen scene is inserted. The rest is forced perspective or "we just don't care". Neither has worked very well ten years ago, and someone obviously forgot to throw a punch in Jackson's face for it. Because now, ten years later, Jackson doesn't seem to give a shit. His dwarves look like silly clad humans, all of them. Where'd all that money go, Mr. Director? Worst of the effects was the Troll scene, which just SCREAMED "studio shot". What was once meant as a clearing in a forest turned into a claustrophobic bowl of undergrowth. No creativity, no vision.

    The music - wonderful at times, but Shore should be ashamed for the repetition.

    Yes, I had fallen in love with the Misty Mountains theme as well. It's not Shore's fault that the theme is so seldom applied befitting its epic tone. And I can connect to some of the new themes as well, even Radagast's I found striking. But what absolutely won't stand is the virulent Lord of the Rings plagiarism. I have nothing against re-using the Hobbiton or Bilbo theme, but Shore could at least have arranged them a bit more, that's what composers do; and using LotR movie themes during Hobbit action and battle scenes, when Jackson should actually desperately communicate: "Hey, this is new stuff!", that puts shame to this movie.

  • ^ I was disappointed with The Hobbit myself for various reasons. I gave it a 7/10. The bird shit in Radagast's hair I thought was un-funny and disrespectful to the character. I also felt the humour was low-brow. What a shame.

    Wreck It Ralph also gets a 7 as I was disappointed in the story. I didn't seem to care about what was happening.

    Skyfall gets an 8.5. Pretty damn good, and right up there with Casino Royale.

    Life of Pi gets an 8. Visually stunning movie though it dragged on at times. Well worth seeing.

  • For some reason, I thought it was lichen growing on his face and not meant to be a joke, just a "this guy's a Middle Earth hippie" type thing. I really want his bunny sled, though.

    Edit:

    Also, I just saw Django Unchained and it was positively excellent. If you don't mind walls splattered with blood it definitely worth seeing. It had great action, great story, was funny as hell when it needed to be, and I loved all the characters, even the bad guys (though in the latter case it was really just delight in how casually evil they were, rather than the typical "muahahaha" irredeemable villains that show up so often).

    But yeah, great movie.

  • I give The Hobbit an 8/10, with points taken off for the depiction of Radagast.

    I give The Lord of the Rings Trilogy an 8.5/10 with The Two Towers specifically getting a 7/10 for ruining Faramir by making him take Frodo and Sam to Osgiliath, when Faramir let them go at the falls in the book.

    I give Kerr's 6-part Lord of the Rings fan edit a 9.75/10 as it is fantastic, but Treebeard's journey through the forest with Merry and Pippin feels choppy.

    Also, I give Rango a boring/10 because I tried watching it on Netflix yesterday, but it was stupid and unfunny, so I turned it off after the first 20 minutes.

  • The Hobbit - 5/10

    Didn't really like it. Loved LOTR movies, but those characters were just better. Better acting, more backstory, etc. This one felt a little hasted. Walking, emotions, action, walking, emotions, action. The end.
    Loved the book, understood it's a children's book, so I went into the movie with this in my head.
    I'll be checking out part 2 and 3 (really... 3 parts for such a small book?) though. Maybe I'll like them more.

  • Quantum of Solace - 3/10

    I really have no idea what I was watching over half of the time.
    Many people have told me that the movie is a garbled mess but I saw the movie with an open mind. But I have to agree with everyone else, it was a mess.

    It does have it's cool action sequences here and there, but it doesn't do it justice when they where used in such a poorly executed film.

  • Looper - 7/10

    Very enjoyable in my opinion. Loved the fact that they didn't go FULL sci-fi on this one. Even my girlfriend liked it. Joseph Gorden Lewitt is my favorite 'new generation' actors at this moment and he does an amazing job once again. The make up is awesome, he could be the younger brother of Bruce Willis.
    Great action, shitty CGI, unoriginal but still enjoyable story. The timetravel element is ridiculous and full of holes, but who cares, it's entertainment, not a science book.
    +1 for Jeff Daniels with beard. Love that man, the beard makes it even better.

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