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What will the dialogue sound like? Winners Announced!

posted by Strongsadioware on - last edited - Viewed by 4.4K users

This was a thread floating around before the original Poker Night released: guess and make-up some cool conversations the characters of Poker Night 2 might have. Want the TTG developers to insult your writing skills and laugh at your out-of-character writing? Post right here!

Also, as of April 3rd, the best Community Moderator to ever live, divisionten, is going to be handing out rewards to the best quips which are organized by category. The Best Overall will be rewarded with a copy of Poker Night 2! Any others that are really good for the other categories will be rewarded other Steam games. The deadline's April 15th, so make it snippy!

Remember, you've not only got the poker players, but you also have GLadOS and even the other folks at the Inventory (Moxxi, Max) at the ready. Speaking of GLadOS, let's start off:
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GLadOS: This feels like the appropriate setting for a joke. May I?
Brock: Sure.
Ash: Shoot.
Sam: Alright.
Claptrap: You can do ANYTHING, my beautiful queen!
GLadOS: ...yes, well. A group of five poker players stroll into a speakeasy, and then they get hit with neurotoxin, which invades their lungs, and makes them unable to breathe, killing them. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
*awkward silence*
Claptrap: ...I don't get it.

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  • I know i might be posting too many of these but i just keep coming up with ideas.

    Max:Sam can i take the desoto for a drive while you play cards?
    Sam:SWEET BEEF WITH A SIDE ORDER OF CHIPS IN MEXICO, NO!
    Max:Come on Sam so last time i drove the desoto i destroyed a few buildings, ran over peoples stuff, and smashed the desoto into Flint Paper's office.....
    Sam:Where he then had to sleep in our office with us Max
    Max:Yeah but we had Flint Paper teach us how to beat the snot out of the people who had to fix his wall and the desoto and got them to do it for 90% off...
    Sam:Sorry Little Buddy you remembered the mole people under our office threatened to trash our office if we cause walls to fall on them again.
    GLaDOS: Such destuction, not caring about other people....Little bunny thing i think i may be in love with you.
    Max:I think i'll just go over and get a drink and talk to Strong Bad, Sam

    _____________________________________________________________

    Sam:Ya know GLaDOS you sound awful familar
    GLaDOS:I don't know what you mean talking dog.
    Sam:I mean i'm pretty sure Max got phoned last week and was asked to give some money for science!
    GLaDOS:If you're trying to say i tricked your little rabbit friend into giving me money so i can lure test subjects to me then i have you know you're wrong
    Sam:Oh ok then,

    ______________________________________________________
    Sam:Wow this is the second biggest hand i ever got....i mean this is the second worse hand i ever got.

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    ttg_Stemmle Telltale Staff

    @ZerosTheWizard said: Sam: I cant use these cards together.

    You know that sick, cold, cold feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you realize that there's something very important you were supposed to do, but it completely slipped your mind, like paying your property taxes or remembering your wedding anniversary?

    Now multiply that by about a fillion*, and you'll be somewhere in the neighborhood of what I'm feeling right now.

    In short, darn you. Darn you all to heck.

    Mike "Walking it Off" Stemmle

    * A "fillion" is a large number whose magnitude can only be guessed at due to it's tendency to by cancelled out before it's properly enumerated.

  • @ttg_Stemmle said: You know that sick, cold, cold feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you realize that there's something very important you were supposed to do, but it completely slipped your mind, like paying your property taxes or remembering your wedding anniversary?

    Now multiply that by about a fillion*, and you'll be somewhere in the neighborhood of what I'm feeling right now.

    In short, darn you. Darn you all to heck.

    Mike "Walking it Off" Stemmle

    * A "fillion" is a large number whose magnitude can only be guessed at due to it's tendency to by cancelled out before it's properly enumerated.

    ...did you forget to get Sam's VA to say that as a response or something?

  • I'm not actually entering (I'm a mod, it'd be sketchy), I just felt like joining in.

    Sam: So, uh, anyone got any funny stories they feel like sharing?
    Ash: Nope.
    Brock: No.
    Claptrap: Hell yeah! So this one time, me and some loser with a gun were just hanging out and- Hey!
    Sam: Huh. I guess I can't use these things together.
    Ash: Wanna try mine?
    Claptrap: HEY!
    Sam: ...maybe later.

    -x-

    Claptrap: So what's YOUR sign, cutie?
    GLaDOS: Caution: Dangerous Machinery.
    Claptrap: Ooo, I love a challenge.
    GLaDOS: I would love to see you destroyed in a fiery cataclysm of insane proportions.
    Brock: I thought you said you couldn't feel emotions.
    GLaDOS: I am always willing to make exceptions for the appropriate test subject.
    Claptrap: Heh, I think I'm in there.
    Ash: Yeah, sure. Keep thinking that while I get outta the splash zone.

    -x-

    Moxxie: God it's boring back here.
    Ash: You want a little company?
    Moxxie: Depends. Does is that hand detachable?
    Ash: Which one?
    Moxxie: Does it matter?
    Ash: ...kinda.
    Moxxie: Which one's battery powered?
    Claptrap: Uh, I need an adult!
    Brock: Keep lookin', buddy.

  • Claptrap: (to GLaDOS)So hot stuff how about after this game me and you head back to Apature Science and test out some stuff?
    GLaDOS:How about instead of testing I dump you into with one platform and moveable walls with spikes around the platform.
    Sam:.....Can Max just shoot him? He needs some target practice
    GLaDOS:If you win I'll turn the annoying little robot into a trophy...
    Claptrap: (Says to Brock) Hey minion, she likes me
    Brock:yeah you keep thinking that buddy.

  • I'm stealing from Ash's quotes, but I'd love if they popped up in the game.

    ASH: (player goes all in) Well, hello, Mister Fancy Pants!

    ASH: (folding) The only cards in this flop are Jack and shit, and I don't have a Jack, so I'm leavin' town.
    CLAPTRAP: Hey, I knew a Jack! And fittingly enough, he was total shit!

    ASH: (after winning a hand with an Ace) Good hand, bad hand; I'm the guy with the Ace.

    ASH: (challenging player) Yo, he-or-she bitch. Let's go.

    ASH: (showing off cards in a showdown) This is my FULL HOUSE!

    (After Ash is eliminated when betting the Necronomicrown)
    GLadOS: Test Subject Ashley Williams has been eliminated from the test.
    ASH: Damn. Well, sport, enjoy your ancient most likely cursed artifact. Gotta go-
    CLAPTRAP: Hah! Congratulations, minion, for beating Little Goodie Two-Shoes over here. (singing) Goodie Little Two-Shoes, Goodie Little Two-Shoes, Goodie Little Two-Sh-
    *Ash fires his boomstick in the air, everyone is startled*
    CLAPTRAP: Did I say "Goodie Little Two-Shoes"? I meant to say "Incredibly Handsome Man Who Most Certainly Will Not Shoot Me If I Beg For Mercy Because He Is So Excellent and Wonderful"! Yeah, that's what I meant to s-
    *Ash points boomstick at Claptrap*
    CLAPTRAP: OH GOD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NO DON'T DO IT I'M SORRY AHHHHHHH!
    ASH: *retracts boomstick* And keep it shut, tincan. *walks away from table*

  • These are all for Sam.

    All in
    Sam: Well, I feel as confident as I'll ever be, so I'm going to bet everything I have.
    Max: Even your hat?
    Sam: ...yes.
    Max: Even ME?
    Sam: I don't own you, little buddy. Satan does.
    Max: Oh yeah. Good thing he's not here, I'm fed up of filing his taxes. Ugh.

    Folding
    Sam: Huh. Looks like I'm out.
    Max: Of the closet?
    Sam: Well, we have run out of room. Maybe we should stop collecting things.
    Max: NEVER!

    Winning
    Sam: Well, I'm not one to gloat, so I won't.
    Max: Spoilsport!

    Defeated
    Sam: Well, it looks like the long walk of shame for us, Max.
    Max: Uh, no, it's the long walk of shame for you. It's the long piggyback of fun for me!

  • @ttg_Stemmle said: You know that sick, cold, cold feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you realize that there's something very important you were supposed to do, but it completely slipped your mind, like paying your property taxes or remembering your wedding anniversary?

    Now multiply that by about a fillion*, and you'll be somewhere in the neighborhood of what I'm feeling right now.

    In short, darn you. Darn you all to heck.

    Mike "Walking it Off" Stemmle

    * A "fillion" is a large number whose magnitude can only be guessed at due to it's tendency to by cancelled out before it's properly enumerated.

    You're saying...you're saying that line isn't in the game? I'm very disappointed in all parties involved.

  • @Omegabegin said: You're saying...you're saying that line isn't in the game? I'm very disappointed in all parties involved.


    They still have time to add it, if it isn't.

    Or Stemmle is teasing us. I wouldn't put it past him.

  • Winning
    Sam:Hey Max we won! Now we just need to blow all our money on overpriced stuff
    Max:TO BOSCO'S!

    Ash:Hail to the king baby
    Max:You're a king?
    Ash:Well i could have been but i belong at S Mart

    Brock:Well i would love to stay and watch you guys cry like little girls but i got me some villains to go beat up.

    Claptrap:Its been fun minions, time to use all this money on upgrades...
    GLaDOS:You know i could use that.....
    Claptrap:YOU CAN HAVE IT!

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