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The Xbox One

posted by Darth Marsden on - last edited - Viewed by 7.7K users

Little surprised no-one's talking about the XBox One, which was officially announced today.

And has a stupid name.

Really, there's a lot we could say about this console, but I'll just bullet-point the best bits.

- It's called the XBox One. Even though it's actually the third. *sigh*
- The controller is extremely similar to the 360s, with a better D-Pad and higher Home button.
- It comes with an updated Kinect... that the console WILL NOT FUCTION WITHOUT.
- It won't be backwards compatible. With anything. 360 games, XBLA games, nothing. *facepalm*
- Playing a used game? You'll be charged a fee to do so.

In short - fail. The used games thing is perhaps the biggest kick in the teeth, and it's going to ruin this console.

EDIT: Oh, you're all talking about it in the "Whatever's On Your Mind" thread. Well, whatever.

687 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • @St_Eddie said: "You've achieved being a gullible sap for spending 500 bucks on a brick. Congratulations, you massive twat."

    But, now we'll have a way of knowing who these massive twats are.
    Touché Microsoft.
    So far that's the only plus for XBone.

  • How about these ideas for achievements!

    ''What's games?''-Spent one week watching nothing but TV and never playing a game
    ''Just let it happen''-Say that one line from the Killer Instint reveal at E3 online to show how much of an asshole you are.
    ''Following the footsteps''-Go to a much better console's event and beg people to play Xbox One showing how much of an idiot fanboy you are.
    ''No playing for you''-Sorry but you don't have an internet connection idiot so no playing Xbox for you, enjoy your brick''

    Come everyone lets see what achievements we can come up with!

  • What happens if I buy a used xbox one?

  • @St_Eddie said: Fucking achievements! The few times I've played my PS3 games online; I've had people saying "haha, you don't even have any platinum achievements"! No, I don't. Do you know why? Because I have a fucking life and I play games for fun, not to collect some worthless and meaningless acheivement.

    Fuck achievements.

    Besides, isn't labeling someone buying an XBone on day one an "achievement" a bit of a falsehood? That is unless the details of the achievement reads as follows...

    "You've achieved being a gullible sap for spending 500 bucks on a brick. Congratulations, you massive twat."

    yeah i thought the same, especially when some games make cheevo's so darn hard or awkward to get or even the really lame simple ones like the simpsons 'putting in the disc'.. mainly the idea everyone who buys games plays them online and in deathmatching stuff... but those who don't do much /any/ very little online mp (like meas i mostly do co-op like pve) are ostrasized/told to fuck off/ teased by others...yet they then decide to make some of them doable in private matches against bots and then go back tot he previous online only...gears judgment being the recent game that did that.

    @St_Eddie said: But, now we'll have a way of knowing who these massive twats are.
    Touché Microsoft.
    So far that's the only plus for XBone.

    and i wonder how many of them are only getting it for cod ghosts 'uber gfx' edition..

    still really want to know what the line up is on launch to see if it's even worth considering..

    the day one bundle even includes a hdmi cable! and a little 'day one 2013 graffic on the controller...

    oh yeah i wonder how easy it will be to switch between the 360 live and the xbone live once people activate/convert to the xbone from the 360...

    i watched this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ5s3jVOToQabout the 'impulse triggers' is basically a button/trigger with a built in rumble motor.. which seems 'fun'.

  • @ryannumber1gamer said: Come everyone lets see what achievements we can come up with!

    Tits or GTFO: show the kinect your boobs or moobs.
    The illegal danish: Play CoD when you are only 12years old.
    No it doesn't work: cover the Kinect lense with something.
    You're completely fucked: try to play a used game.
    I can see you!: Feel safe in the dark. You'll still go blind from it.

  • Good consumer: Eat pizza while pizza hut ad is on...oh wait

  • @Gman5852 said: What happens if I buy a used xbox one?

    Then the universe implodes in on itself.

  • The holy trinity: Play Halo 5 while eating Doritos and drinking Mountain Dew.

  • @der_ketzer said: The holy trinity: Play Halo 5 while eating Doritos and drinking Mountain Dew.

    also known as multitasking ?

    'caught with your pants down' kinect chat with your lover who is in the mood.
    or
    'got ahead in life' was given oral sex whilst xbone is active.

    'exercise freak' since day one of owning your xbone you have lost weight.

    'couch potato' since day one you have GAINED weight...

    the "hall 9000 or " i can't let you do that 'dave' " forgot to switch on with in 24 hours and tried to play offline.

    'i c wot u did thar' performed a offensive jesture at your tv..

    'y u do dis' made someone cry online during an online match

    'like a sir' did something wearing a top hat and monacle/glasses holding a wine glass.

    'sucessfull troll is..' pulled a 'grinning troll like face'

    xboned1_zpsde0b0885.jpg

  • Achievement Unlocked

    'Batting for the Other Team' - You've traded your XBone for a PS3. Bill Gates is now on his way to your house. Upon his arrival you will unlock the 'Punched in the face by a geek' achievement.

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