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Joke Thread

posted by Noname215 on - last edited - Viewed by 860 users

On these forums, we’re all comedians, so I figured we could have a thread where we share jokes.

I’ll start.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down the front of his pants. The bartender says, “What’s that there for?” The pirate says, “Arr, it’s drivin’ me nuts!"

97 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • @Alcoremortis said:

    Though, to be perfectly fair... you were the one who brought up blue penises in the first place...



    A professor gives his psychology class a spot quiz. One question he asks is, "What part of the human anatomy may expand up to ten times under certain circumstances?" He picks a rather overdressed girl in the front row to answer it. "Miss Callahan!" The indicated girl, who heard the question, stammers with some embarrassment: "Professor, I'd rather not answer that question." The professor says, "That's all right, Miss Callahan, you don't need to answer it. Is there anyone present who can answer it?" He notes an interested face in the back of the classroom. "Mr. Hawkins!" Hawkins says, "Yes, Professor, it is the pupil of the eye that may expand to ten times." The professor says, "That is correct, Mr. Hawkins." Then he turns to Miss Callahan. He says, "Young lady, two things are obvious from your reaction to this question. One, you haven't studied this week's assignment; and Two, I'm afraid marriage is going to be a tremendous disappointment to you

  • I thought she was thinking about the vagina, to be perfectly honest. I mean, big baby, small aperture...

  • Yo momma so old I slapped her on the back then her tits fell off.

  • @Alcoremortis said: I thought she was thinking about the vagina, to be perfectly honest. I mean, big baby, small aperture...

    Actually, from what I understand, it's amazing how tiny newborn babies are.

  • Some are small... others, are quite large. But regardless, there's still a not inconsiderable difference between a baby's head and the original size of the opening. This is probably the primary reason why giving birth is so damn painful... for humans especially.

  • from jokes to blue penis to vagina's and child birth..


    i guess some of us saw that cuming ?

    that's a great joke in it's self...:D

  • @Noname215 said: What is the best kind of comedy? Dark, screwball, or slapstick?


    There's your answer.

  • @Milosuperspesh said: from jokes to blue penis to vagina's and child birth..



    Actually, that joke (or variations thereof) has been around for decades. I've seen it many times and never thought about the "openings" that probably answer the teacher's question better, 'til Alcoremortis posted that. It was probably written by a man.

    ObJoke: So, have you heard about the Telltale Games Forum thread that stayed on topic?

    Yeah, neither have I.

  • This joke is pretty sick.

    Since Michael Jackson's death hundreds of children have gathered at the gates of Neverland. Police have said that they will let them out once they find a locksmith.

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