Respond with a Telltale game quote

[tredlow]

Aeons ago, before the universe was born, I used to go to the HRwiki forums a lot, and there was this forum game called "Respond With A Homestar Runner Quote", which was awesome. I dunno if it's ever been done here, but all I know is that it's not being done now, so I'm gonna start one.

Basically, poster A says a quote from a franchise done by Telltale (Nothing generic, though. Quotes like "Hey, you!" or "What?!" is not allowed), and then poster B responds with a quote that's not related to that previous quote, but sounds relevant in any way, which poster C will respond to in the same nature, and so on...

Though, it doesn't HAVE to be from a Telltale game. You can quote from the previous MI games, Homestar cartoons, Wallace and Gromit cartoons, etc. as long as the franchise is something Telltale has done, including BTTF, Bone, and Jurassic Park. Maybe not CSI, though, because it'd be too broad.

I'll start:

Sam, I have to pee.

[VeronicanPlay]

Great Scott!

[anonima]

much obliged

[robotman5]

nice thread



but ...... there is a three headed monkey behind you!

[Gman5852]

I can't shoot that.

[Jennifer]

I get the jibblie nightmares. There's this one where Homestar is a giant cheese blintz, and Marzipan holds me at gunpoint and makes me eat him, and... uh... uh oh. Jibblie, jibblie.

[RAnthonyMahan]

I get the jibblie nightmares. There's this one where Homestar is a giant cheese blintz, and Marzipan holds me at gunpoint and makes me eat him, and... uh... uh oh. Jibblie, jibblie.

Do you know what nightmares taste like?

[Debbie82]

I'm not planning on sticking around this land of the creepy.

[Gman5852]

Where we going sam?

[The Leg]

To the moon, Alice!

[Majus]

I prefer Dogglegangers!

[mgrant]

....I hate you now.

[Falanca]

Don't say "Voila"...

[Debbie82]

I'll just cover up the Voodoo Lady...

[Remolay]

Hey dork. Hey dork. Hey dork.

[tredlow]

Oh, come on, that doesn't even sound like "Threepwood".

[Debbie82]

The defense will get on with it or the court will order his name legally changed to "Captain Guts for Garters!"

[Captain Mickey]

That's the mast!

[Remolay]

I assume you're talking to me?

[Debbie82]

Wait. Unholy what?

[Remolay]

I heard it in a video game.

[StrongBrush1]

Banang!

[Debbie82]

It's like grog for monkeys. And a leading cause of simian diabetes.

[StrongBrush1]

Where are you, spy? I know you sabotage cards!

[tredlow]

Do you have any three foot by two foot cue cards that say "Don't vote for me?"

[Remolay]

Nyet.

[Debbie82]

I'll be your best friend...

[Remolay]

Nyet.

[Debbie82]

The Pox is a lie!

[Remolay]

Is it pie? I really hope it's pie.

[tredlow]

Like fruitcake!

[VeronicanPlay]

I wonder when I started hallucinating?

[Captain Mickey]

So I'm not mostly dead?

[Debbie82]

Does this LOOK like the mumps to you, sonny jim?

[The Mighty M]

Time to get the serious toothpaste!

[tredlow]

Kick 'em in the teeth!

[Jennifer]

The last one was fun, don't get me wrong, but it was too short.

[tredlow]

My partner's got a low tolerance for long stories

[mgrant]

Look at me prattling on as you stand there all wet and confused and whatnot.

[tredlow]

I think I should put on some clothes now.

[Debbie82]

Hmm, I definitely have mud in my teeth...

[tredlow]

This isn't dirt, it's pudding!

[Klatuu]

Don't vote for Pudding Head! 'Cause he's soft on crime. Get it? Soft?

[Debbie82]

La Esponja Grande sucks... actually, it doesn't suck.

[Remolay]

Feed him to the Jungle Beast!

[Klatuu]

Do you have any...ketchup?

[Debbie82]

Would you like me to dye the ocean depths with your blood?

[The Mighty M]

I told you, THIS AIN'T A STORE

[Debbie82]

Well, it's not like you're going to skip town on me, am I right?

[Klatuu]

Let's go to Stuttgart!

[mgrant]

The...map, sir?

[Remolay]

That is some Bleeped up Bleep!

[Debbie82]

I was a bit of a monkey's a$$.

[Captain Mickey]

Junior?!

[SunnyGuy]

No one expects the lagomorphic inquisition!

[tredlow]

Do what to a rabbit?!

[Debbie82]

Eez zis ze end of Pink... Pajama... Pierre? Glug!

[mightypiratetm]

I frorgot to peel them!

[Sarendor]

Maybe he needs more practice...

[Debbie82]

Arrrgh! I'm just... not so good with this whole puzzle solving thing! It was so much easier to just ...kill people until someone did things for you!

[Zetta]

The cheese must stand alone!

[Klatuu]

Sam! No! The cheese was innocent!

[Remolay]

How do you do anything remotely interesting with hands like those?

[Debbie82]

Aw, and now my cheese wheel is staring at me...

[tredlow]

Can I make a tennis racket outta him?

[Sarendor]

EDITED: Tar an' feathers is too good for him!

[tredlow]

No, ME! Attack ME!

[mgrant]

He's resorted to firing detritus, sir!

[Debbie82]

He's resorted to firing detritus, sir!

Actually it's, "He's resorted to hurling detritus, sir!"

You know anything about a seahorse head left in my bed?

[The Mighty M]

You made me mess up.

[tredlow]

Sure, blame the demon broth.

[mgrant]

...I bet it still tastes like monkey snot though.

[Debbie82]

Not my husband, you... b*stard!!

[Remolay]

Must... Resist... Fudge.

[Debbie82]

Aw, it's a welcome back party! I hope they brought ice cream cake...

[tredlow]

Yeah, now I can accentuate this little bundle of blubber on the beach by lathering it up with sun block and cocoa butter.

[Debbie82]

I know what would cheer up these gruesome carvings. Cheese!

[Klatuu]

Eerie. I just went cheese shopping. How did they know?

[tredlow]

The conversation we just had!

[Jennifer]

Are you talking to moi?

[tredlow]

Sonic! I mean Tails!

[Jennifer]

The only good thing I got out of those Telltales was a recommendation for a decent hang-out.

[Sarendor]

... I am standing right next to it, ain't I?

[Remolay]

What's that, some kind of futuristic candy bar?

[Debbie82]

Man, if somebody made little fish-shaped snack-crackers for people, they'd be sitting on a goldmine.

[Sarendor]

I'll stick with plates, thanks.

[Remolay]

Then maybe you should stop yelling at my girlfriend and make with the clue hyphen finding!

[Debbie82]

I won't be able to get any closer to the dartboard with those hell-kittens in the way.

[Sarendor]

Can't you breathe fire?

[Debbie82]

The fires of my rage will keep you warm, brother!

[Sarendor]

Is that a good thing?

[Debbie82]

It's a good thing those fashion-conscious moths don't appreciate my clothes, or my pockets would have more holes than the Albert Hall.

[Sarendor]

If only I had some cricket butter, I'd be well off.

[Debbie82]

Le sigh. I'm going to use this machine to make that machine smash people into a fine powder.

[Sarendor]

Is it the townspeople?

[mightypiratetm]

No, Definitely not people!

[The Gentleman]

I fold.

[Sarendor]

You're not too good at this game...

[Debbie82]

That's why you should have a lawyer, ya blithering blatherskite!

[TheGamejock]

I love how it always sounds like he's cussing.

[mgrant]

Does that explain the anti-social behavior and the crude gestures?

[tredlow]

How do you do anything even remotely interesting with hands like that?

[yoshifan]

Rawk it's me, Guybrush Threepwoord Mighty Pirate.

[tredlow]

That is one ugly bird.

[Sarendor]

And a striking figure of a cow I made.

[tredlow]

The CHEAT IS NOT A COW!!!

[Klatuu]

How appropriate, you fight like a cow.

[mightypiratetm]

Every enemy I have met, I've annihilated!

[CaptPicard]

They're mine, not'chos!

[Debbie82]

But I be willin' to share my booty, if ye catch me drift...

[queen_of_the_lobsters]

If it means I get more psychic toys, then vortex away!

[tredlow]

I bet this thing could release some serious Cacodemons!

[Debbie82]

Well, I can see you've got inner demons to wrestle with, so I'll just get on with my life.

[Captain Mickey]

She may place a tiny paw on the glass whispering 'touch me... touch me like no man ever could...'

[VeronicanPlay]

Uh bendy.

[Debbie82]

The defendant will cease his inane histrionics, or the court will be forced to *grrr, grrrrrr* YANK OUT HIS TONGUE WITH A RUSTY SHRIMP FORK! ARRR!

[Remolay]

Do you have any... Wiener cozies?

[Debbie82]

Oh, I'd love to, but I'm pretty sure that De Singe doesn't have the necessary... slots.

[tredlow]

Since when did this get really creepy?

[Debbie82]

Hey, LeChuck, Elaine says you should see how many cannonballs you can fit in your stupid--

:D

[Captain Mickey]

I can hear you!

[Klatuu]

I can see you!

[Debbie82]

I've seen my fair share of disturbing things between the sheets, sir.

[Sarendor]

La-la-la-la-la-la, NOT LISTENING!

[Debbie82]

...like a volcano!

[Debbie82]

I hate to double-post, but...

Sad... and disquietingly graphic.

[Sarendor]

Why, that's positively malevolent! Look at all the blood!

(The last one wasn't easy to reply. There are hardly any other mentions of volcanoes in the games, and I couldn't think of something with fire too.)

[Klatuu]

I don't think we ever tried to stop a volcano before.

[Debbie82]

Of course I ran out of my lab! There was blood all over the floor instead of being packed neatly in vials where it belongs!

[Sarendor]

Did DeSinge murder you too?

[Debbie82]

I clearly said "Don't trust LeChuck. He's hypnotized a bunch of monkeys, and ran me through with my own blade."

[Sarendor]

In my defense, it should be noted that you were coughing up a lot of blood at the time, so something may have gotten lost in the translation.
(Thank you, Debbie82, for writing the scripts for Tales, they are quite useful in this game. :D)

[Debbie82]

You're very welcome! Oh, and...

I'm not getting anywhere until I learn to understand his language.

[Remolay]

I'm not entirely sure, but I think it may be... English.

[Debbie82]

Hmmm... très intéressant elle... and you say your sick little hand has a mind of its own?

[Remolay]

Touching is my third favorite thing to do to things.

[Sarendor]

I think this is the second biggest pot o' soup I've ever seen!
(By the way, do you think it is all right to use a quote twice? I am not sure whether I just did it or not.)

[Debbie82]

Ah, I noticed you strategically left out the "Grande" from this worthless piece of junk.

[Debbie82]

I hate to double-post again, and I know it's late for Christmas, but...

Ah, this reminds me of the time I kissed Elaine under the mistletoe... and a rotting corpse fell on me.

[Sarendor]

Actually, this kinda sounds like our honeymoon.

[Remolay]

Can I fly?

[Sarendor]

Can I be the bull?

[queen_of_the_lobsters]

That's a load of bull HooooaaUunnghhooouunnky. Bull honkey.

[Klatuu]

How appropriate, you fight like a cow.

[Remolay]

Is that you, mother? I washed my hands.

[Debbie82]

...and now how clammy and gross within my grasp it wriggles!

[tredlow]

I got KILLING HANDS!!

[Sarendor]

How appropriate, you fight like a c-OWWW! I was using this!

[mightypiratetm]

Pretty please with marshmallows?

[DerJan]

This rampant weenie cannibalism turns my stomach.

[Debbie82]

It's amazing how easily man-eating tribes can be reasoned with.

[DerJan]

Have you heard the term "offer you can't refuse?"

[Debbie82]

Behold, The People v. Threepwood Collection!

[Sarendor]

Guard! I'm quite done with my client!

[Debbie82]

I was on a date... with your wife!

[StrongBrush1]

Why, you little...!

[Debbie82]

I will have order in my court, or so help me, I will shove this gavel down your stinkin' windpipes!

[Remolay]

Throw him to the jungle beast!

[queen_of_the_lobsters]

Even better, I'll just torture him until he begs me to shoot him with his own gun!

[Debbie82]

Shave his belly with a rusty razor!

[Sarendor]

Sweet-ow-Fancy-ow-Moses! It hurts!
(By the way, Tredlow, can you tell whether it is allowed to use a quote more than once?)

[Debbie82]

Hey now, what's this? A fuzzy flying fan club?

[Sarendor]

I'll have you know that I am an official member of the Strong Men's Guild!

[Debbie82]

Now that I know a little bit more about the Vaycaylians, it appears that we're nearing the end of the Year of the Fish, and approaching the dawn of the Year of the Slightly Bigger Fish.

(It's late, I know. :D)

[Sarendor]

Oh, right. No fishing.

[StrongBrush1]

My ship! My booty! My collection of autographed sextants!

[Debbie82]

We'll buy you some more sextants later, just stop LeChuck!

[mightypiratetm]

Find something to replace the voodoo rootbeer.

[Sarendor]

I usually charge an egg, but you don't look like you could.. I mean, you look like a nice guy.

[Captain Mickey]

Right, I'm on it, one cursed cutlass of Kafloo coming up!

[Remolay]

Great! Hot dish all around!

[mightypiratetm]

That's some bleeped up bleep man!

[Debbie82]

Right, I'm on it, one cursed cutlass of Kafloo coming up!

Actually, it's "I'm on it! One LeChuck-defeating Cursed Cutlass of Kaflu, coming up!"

Anyway...

It was like my hand was possessed or something.

[prizna]

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t205/frankthemonkey/Voodoo-Lady-Outlined.gif

[Debbie82]

Then what in the name of Satan's combover are ya good for, ya bloated old sea hag!?

[Captain Mickey]

Actually, it's "I'm on it! One LeChuck-defeating Cursed Cutlass of Kaflu, coming up!"
(Ah, my bad, just been a really long time since I played the first episode.)

Are you mocking me, boy!?

[prizna]

"I'm big, bad Bugeye! I keep a girly diary! I wish I had hair so I could put it up in curls!"

[redm]

That's the second biggest Bermuda triangle I've ever seen!

[Sarendor]

The Path of the Mouth. O-kay...

[Debbie82]

Well, you better believe it, sister! Wait, believe what?

[Klatuu]

I guess I can believe in two things, but that's my limit!

[Debbie82]

Wait! I believe you! Ah, man.

[Remolay]

Murray?

[Debbie82]

WOE UPON THEE, FOOLISH MORTAL! YOU HAVE UNLEASHED CERTAIN DOOM UPON ALL YOUR FEEBLE FLESHY KIND, FOR THE WRATH OF MURRAY SHALL BE-- ...very kind.

:D

[Sarendor]

Ya hear that, Murray, you're a punk! AAAHHH!
...Heh. Your'e still a punk.

[Debbie82]

What's your game, LeChuck? Lure me into a false sense of security with kind words and sandwiches and then murder me in my sleep?

[Captain Mickey]

My boy (erm... girl), if I wanted to murder you, I'd just throw you off this cliff. Why wait for you to sleep?

[Debbie82]

In LeChuck's haste to murder me and steal my wife, he forgot to put a couple of pennies on my eyes to secure my safe passage to the afterlife. Jerk.

[Klatuu]

... ... Pennies?

[Sarendor]

We are lost in the desert, give him a dollar!

[Debbie82]

I already have a bill from this tip jar. I don't wanna be greedy.

[crashblast23]

Pennies on the eyes of a dead mime.

[Remolay]

Here's a tip, Glue down your tip jar.

[Debbie82]

Note to self: never go fishing over the sacred manatee mating grounds.

[VeronicanPlay]

Manateeeeeeee!

[Debbie82]

Ichorrrrr!!!

[Remolay]

Damn you Jurgen!

[Klatuu]

Curse you, Banana God!

[Debbie82]

Darn you, sock!

[Remolay]

Where do you keep your sock?

[Captain Mickey]

That's... none of your damn business.

[Debbie82]

It has the fetid stench of an undead athlete's foot.

[Debbie82]

Fights odor and wetness for the active pirate... and sponges.

[Sarendor]

I'm about to lose my appetite!

[Remolay]

They're mine! Not'chos!

[Ninja]

Let's do lunch.

[crashblast23]

A flush?!

[Captain Mickey]

Look who's wearing the Daddy pants...

[Debbie82]

You stay away from my boy's pants or I'll hang ya from my Jolly Roger, ya Jezebel!

[Debbie82]

I hate to double-post again, but...

How'm I supposed to do that, give it a talk about the Sponge Birds and Sponge Bees?

[Captain Mickey]

And the school board said our cases have no educational merit.

[Debbie82]

I was told there would be no math!

[Klatuu]

I am not a scientist! Go ahead, ask me what E equals.

[Sarendor]

What does E equal?
(I just want to see that answer again. :p)

[Debbie82]

Nope. Sorry. Drawing a blank.

[Klatuu]

I have absolutely no idea! See?

[Debbie82]

Unless I've taken too many blows to the head, I'm pretty sure I've never been to any of those places or done any of those things.

[Remolay]

New Location Unlocked.

[TomPravetz]

A full house!

[Sarendor]

Never play and ace if a two will do.

[Debbie82]

Two are like three times stronger than one! You'll never break either of us!

[Sarendor]

I'll have you know that the Burly Barbarian is a serious test of strength!

[Debbie82]

Hurt me all you want, I'll never sing for the man.

[Sarendor]

We will fight you in the harbour
We will battle you on land
But when you meet the singing pirates
They'll be more than you can stand.

[Debbie82]

We will fight you in the harbour
We will battle you on land
But when you meet the singing pirates
They'll be more than you can stand.

Um, I think that's from The Curse of Monkey Island, and Curse is not a Telltale Game. Moving on...

Oh, the playtesters! All that pizza, and no idea what kind of meat it was.

[Klatuu]

Though, it doesn't HAVE to be from a Telltale game. You can quote from the previous MI games, Homestar cartoons, Wallace and Gromit cartoons, etc. as long as the franchise is something Telltale has done, including BTTF, Bone, and Jurassic Park. Maybe not CSI, though, because it'd be too broad.


Meesta Pizza: Come and experience the taste of old nipples.

[tredlow]

(By the way, Tredlow, can you tell whether it is allowed to use a quote more than once?)
Yes, but only if it hasn't been paired with the same quote. For instance, after quote A was responded with quote B, it can be used again, but not to another instance of quote B.

Meesta Pizza: Come and experience the taste of old nipples.

Homestar, didn't anyone tell you? That's, like, cottage cheese and The Cheat hair!

[Debbie82]

I'm just loading up on carbs before joining the fight.

[Sarendor]

Oh, this is going to be good! Now come and fight me like a man!

[Debbie82]

And don't even try your Insult Sword Fighting technique on me, that's something only farm boys use these days.

[Sarendor]

Talking about adding insult to injury...

[The Mighty M]

There was a fearsome demon
Who had a very scary form, form, form...

[Sarendor]

His mortal enemy is a horrifyingly depraved pirate named LeChuck.
- A.K.A 'The Ghost Pirate LeChuck'
The 'Demon Pirate LeChuck'
and 'That Big Jerk LeChuck'

[Debbie82]

Kick his two-faced butt for me...

[Remolay]

So THAT'S Where you keep your gun!

[Sarendor]

It's a good thing that DeSinge's gun is as wimpy as the man who built it.

[VeronicanPlay]

Hey! DeSing Song!

[Debbie82]

Hey, De Monkey!

[Sarendor]

Hey Phoney, Fone Bone's here!

[Remolay]

My name is Philo Pennyworth.

[Debbie82]

*squeals*Oooh, look at me, I be Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate™!

[Sarendor]

Bwaaak! It's me, Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate™!

[Captain Mickey]

It must have been jostled out of my pocket and washed away during ingestion. It's gone forever.

[Sarendor]

Oh... There's... A... Monkey-in-my-pocket-and-he's-stealing-all-my-change, his-stare-is-blank-and-glossy-I-suspect-that-he's-deraaaaaaaaaanged!

[Klatuu]

There's a monkey in my pocket, he's attracting all my change!
His tail is a magnet, and I think that he's got mange!

[Debbie82]

There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza, There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole... Nah, that's not true, it's just a bucket.

[VeronicanPlay]

Why do I always have this urge to poke a fish eye?

[Sarendor]

It's the - Stinky - Fisheyed - Geezer! (EEEEIIIIH!)

[Debbie82]

I've seen a tougher face on a newborn.

[Sarendor]

I'm so tough that I... I drink the milk right from the carton!