Let's Play 'Flight of the Amazon Queen'

[St_Eddie]

Let's Play 'Flight of the Amazon Queen'

http://img846.imageshack.us/img846/8153/91355695.jpg

I first purchased this game as a 13 year old kid, back in 1995. Although I have completed it a couple of times, it's been many years since I last did so. Therefore, replaying this game is sure to feel rather fresh.

The only other thing I want to say before we begin is that I genuinely enjoy playing this game and have very fond memories of it. I only say this because the tone of this let's play will be fairly humorous and at times, playfully mocking but I wouldn't want anyone to think that I was slagging off the game.

Without further adieu, let's get started...

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The game certainly doesn't try to break convention as we start on a cut-scene; where we find our smart mouthed hero, Joe King (it's best to get used to the cringe inducing puns in this game), pilot for hire, tied up in a warehouse with his date.

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The reason they are tied up is because the lady is the girlfriend of a walking cliché of a mob boss. He found out about his girl's infidelity and was none too pleased to say the least. Also, it's interesting to see that Prince has an uncredited cameo as the gangster on the right!

http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/2613/princek.jpg
"You Dirty Rat!"

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The gangster has avoided common sense by failing to shoot them (well actually common sense would be filing for divorce but gangsters are prone to becoming a bit grumpy) and has instead rigged up a bomb to explode. It looks like curtains for our dating couple and the tension is palpable. Of course this is still the opening cinematic, so we know that Joe will be okay.

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Our saving grace comes in the form a very ungraceful entrance. Standing in a bathtub (for some inexplicable reason) is our good pal, Sparky; who enters by crashing through the roof.

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The warehouse explodes moments after we make our escape, with the mob boss still inside. You'd think that he would have vacated the premises considering he set the bomb to go off but I've come to the conclusion that he probably suffers from short term memory loss.

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Rather than taking a much deserved day off work, Joe is more concerned with collecting his latest paying passenger; the famous movie star, Faye Russel. You certainly couldn't say that he's not dedicated to his job.

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However, once we arrive at the venue where Faye is staying we find Anderson standing in her dressing room. Everyone has an arch-nemesis; David has Goliath, Holmes has Moriarty, Wile E. Coyote has Road Runner and Joe has Anderson (a rival pilot for hire).

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Anderson explains that he intends to steal Faye away from us, as his own passenger. He then locks the door (which is made of solid steal... um, why?!), thus trapping us in the room.

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And so the true adventure begins. Currently Joe is carrying his diary (used to save and load games) and a baseball bat. I'm not sure as to why Joe carries a bat with him. Maybe he's prone to a spot of impromptu baseball!

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"Nah, I carry this partly out of... I don't know. What's the word?"
"Affectation?"
"Right."

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I decide that the bat may be put to good use by smashing the window to the right but Joe informs me that it's made of bullet-proof glass! This is getting ridiculous, why in tarnation does Faye Russel need a solid steal door and a bullet-proof glass window?! Is she a high priority target for the assassins of the world? I can only assume that she's received death threats from an obsessed fan (the same kind that I regularly send to Charlize Theron).

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Seeming as I can't break the window, perhaps I can shout to my pal Sparky for help, who's stood outside reading his favourite comic, 'Commander Rocket'. My attempts to gain his attention are fruitless however because the glass is not only bullet-proof but also sound-proof (but of course (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W7c8QghPxk)).

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All is not lost however as upon picking up some sheets strewn across the floor, I discover a laundry shoot. Now call me over-zealous when it comes to health and safety if you like, but isn't a GIANT FUCKING HOLE IN THE GROUND just a tad dangerous?! Never-mind, at least it's an escape route.

I knot the two sheets together, tie them to the nearby radiator and descend the chute.

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Wwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

... hold on! If I'm simply sliding down the chute, then why in blazes did I need to tie together those sheets?! Ho hum, a slide's always fun so I'm not going to complain.

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Being the sex crazed (and starved) maniac that I am, the first thing that I'm interested in investigating are these novelty boobies (heh heh... boobies)! I pick up a pair (they might come in handy on a cold, lonely winters night) and admire the unbeatable craftsmanship...

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"Unbeatable? Au contraire."

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Anywayyyyyy... I take the stairs up to the lobby but unfortunately my escape route is being guarded by a couple more gangsters. I immediately spy a rather handy key on the bell boy's desk and attempt to pick it up. Naturally, the staff is not going to let that happen so I talk to him and exhaust all of the dialogue options but to no avail.

I also try to press the bell on the desk but it cannot be achieved, which is a shame because I love to ring the desk bell multiple times in adventure games when the assistant is already standing there. It usually winds them up to no end! You've missed a trick here, developers.

It's worth pointing out that the bell boy's voice sounds like a cross between these two...

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Kermit the Frog (anthropomorphised frog thing)

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Beek Nariz (the elephant man's uglier brother)

... You'd think that the manager of the venue would want to have someone with a slightly less ludicrous voice manning the front desk but clearly the manager is an equal opportunities employer, so I'm not going to berate him for being a nice chap.

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Feeling as though I'm now out of options, I attempt to sneak past the gangsters but they spot me. The short one sounds just like Marlon Brando and the tall one looks like David Prowse in 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' (as evidenced at 2:15 in this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vI8GtDlW7X4) clip). Therefore, I shall henceforth refer to them as Brando & Prowse.

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Brando & Prowse lock me back in Faye's room and... remove my clothes. They claim that this might discourage me from attempting to escape again but quite frankly, I have my suspicions that they're just a couple of horny perverts!

I then spend the next 10 minutes wondering back and forth between the different areas, absolutely clueless as to what I need to do next. Out of desperation, I try interacting with every object in every logical way possible... still no luck.

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Then I try talking to the bell boy again, only to find a new dialogue option. It turns out that you have to look at the key before this option will appear! Grr... bloody adventure games!

Anyway, now that I have the key to the dressing room; I head on down there...

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... to be confronted by Joe's ex-girlfriend, Lola. She's awful mad at Joe for dumping her and the two have a humorous back and forth.

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Lola hops in to the shower and conveniently has her private areas covered by patches of steam on the glass (how very 'Austin Powers'). Lola agrees to help us escape if we retrieve a towel for her (I guess she's rather easily pleased). Luckily, I have one to hand and Lola soon explains her plan to us.

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The plan is to dress me Joe up in ladies clothing, so that I can pass the gangsters upstairs unnoticed. Joe attaches the boobies (heh heh... boobies), puts on a wig found in Faye's room and slips on the dress.

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A 'Maniac Mansion' style cut-scene is triggered...

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... in which we are introduced to a quite clearly insane Doctor named Ironstein (I did warn you about the awful puns). However, for the purposes of this let's play, I shall call him Dr. Fruitloop.

Speaking to his lackey, Dr. Fruitloop explains his retarded genius master plan to turn Amazonian women into dinosaur people. I'm sure it's a dream we've all had at some point or another, right alongside world peace and sleeping with Charlize Theron.

In order to show the process of the transformation to the player his lackey, Dr. Fruitloop fires up the machine...

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"Transmogrification process initiated."
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I couldn't help but notice that the sound that the machine makes is the same iconic sound effect made by the opening of doors in 'Doom'. Tsk tsk, developers!

Dr. Fruitloop then explains that he will now activate the 'Aggression Enhancer'...
http://img848.imageshack.us/img848/4788/222jz.jpg
... but he's clearly not left the beta stage of development yet!

Sadly for Dr. Fruitloop (but thankfully for the women of the Amazon) he's run out of test subjects. Unfortunately that's not going to stop an ambitious young ancient go-getter like Dr. Fruitloop though...

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Seriously, this guy's so corny that I'm surprised the developers didn't have him cackle in an evil manner...

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... oh, they did.

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The cut-scene has finished and we return to Joe Joanne, as we prepare to exit the hotel. We succeed and Sparky drives us away but the goons do a double-take and realise that was no lady!

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Marlon & Prowse give chase and open fire at Joe. Because this is an adventure game, they're shots are less on target than a blind Stormtrooper's.

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"Hey! I'd totally blow your head off for that remark... if I wasn't such a rubbish shot!"

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Luckily there's a canister of oil on the back of the truck, so I chuck it at the car and it's "adios amigos". That just leaves one thing; for Joe to make a Schwarzenegger-esque quip...

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Pure poetry!

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We catch up with Anderson (the cad!) just as he's about to fly away with Faye using our plane (the extra-double-bastard cad).

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Joe uses his subtle negotiation skills to... punch Anderson out cold. Sparky then appears to join us on our flight.

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Nuts! Our plane has been hit by lightning and it looks like we're going down...

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Hmm, I sense the beginning of a familiar relationship ...


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Well, that's it for Part 1.

[RetroVortex]

Good stuff ol' bean!

(This meticulous detail is great for me actually, since I have an impairment that prevents me from actually getting anywhere in adventure games. So I'll finally be able to find out what happens without all that messy puzzle business (I mean seriously, a rock AND a pressure plate. Just too much for me! :X))

[corruptbiggins]

Good stuff. I like your little related asides and generally you're a good commenter. The shots do remind me why I don't like the smoothing graphic options in ScummVM, but then I guess I'm a traditionalist in that sense.

[Silverwolfpet]

I saw the thread and I expected it to be something along the lines of: "I'm bored, I'm doing this, wanna see me play this game?"

When I started looking at your post, I was like O.O How did I miss this game?!

Thread approved, looking forward to more epic stuff ^^

[St_Eddie]

Good stuff ol' bean!

(This meticulous detail is great for me actually, since I have an impairment that prevents me from actually getting anywhere in adventure games. So I'll finally be able to find out what happens without all that messy puzzle business (I mean seriously, a rock AND a pressure plate. Just too much for me! :X))

Meh, who needs a rock when you've got a torch, right?

The shots do remind me why I don't like the smoothing graphic options in ScummVM, but then I guess I'm a traditionalist in that sense.

Yeah, it's really a case of "whatever floats your boat". Personally I like the filters but if enough people tell me that they'd prefer me to turn them off for this let's play, then I'll be happy to do so.

I saw the thread and I expected it to be something along the lines of: "I'm bored, I'm doing this, wanna see me play this game?"

When I started looking at your post, I was like O.O How did I miss this game?!

Thread approved, looking forward to more epic stuff ^^

Sir, you honor me.

[corruptbiggins]

Yeah, it's really a case of "whatever floats your boat". Personally I like the filters but if enough people tell me that they'd prefer me to turn them off for this let's play, then I'll be happy to do so.

I'm not telling you how to play your own game, I was just stating my personal preference. That preference won't prevent me from enjoying your play through so don't worry about it!

[St_Eddie]

I'm not telling you how to play your own game, I was just stating my personal preference. That preference won't prevent me from enjoying your play through so don't worry about it!

Hehe. I didn't think that you were telling me how to play. I was just saying that I really don't mind playing with or without filters so I'd rather people let me know now if they'd rather I switched them off for the rest of the let's play.

No biggie! :)

[Alcoremortis]

This was pretty fantastic. I giggled quite a lot while reading this. Also, I feel a strange compulsion to play this game now. I mean, Amazonian dinosaur women! Why has no one else capitalized on this? Why are all the new games are all about zombies, zombies, zombies when they could have gotten the Xena and Jurassic Park demographic in one go!

[WarpSpeed]

I love "Let's Play..." types of videos but rarely have time to watch them. Something like this is a lot faster to review (and if I really don't have time, it's easy to come back to a certain place). You did a great job with the commentary, and I'm looking forward to Part 2!

[Friar]

I have this on iOS, and it frequently crashes, and the controls kind of suck. So I'll be reading this thread with interest to find out what happens (I've gotten as far as the plane crash before giving up out of annoyance.)

[Darth Marsden]

Loved it. Moar plz!

[St_Eddie]

Let's Play 'Flight of the Amazon Queen'
Part 2: 'Suck My Pocket Rocket, Robin Williams'

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We find ourselves inside the plane, crashed in a body of water, deep within the Amazon jungle.

There's a constant and heavy stream of water leaking in through the back of the plane but oddly the water has simply stopped halfway down the isle of the plane's interior, keeping away from us. That's some seriously polite water!

http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/1664/waterav.jpg
"Shall I shine your shoes for you too, Sir?"

I explore the wreckage and discover:

A knife
A lighter (without flint)
Some Beef Jerky
A water damaged 'Pocket Rocket Decoder Ring' coupon from Sparky's 'Commander Rocket' comic book.

I literally have no idea what a 'Pocket Rocket Decoder Ring' is, much less why I would need to carry a water damaged coupon for a 'Pocket Rocket Decoder Ring'. Now, I know what a 'Pocket Rocket' is because I'm male and therefore have one dangling between my legs but the 'Decoder Ring' part of the 'Pocket Rocket Decoder Ring' leaves me baffled.

Still, I'm sure that I'll find some kind of use for a 'Pocket Rocket Decoder Ring' coupon at some point on my adventure.

... 'POCKET ROCKET DECODER RING' (I just wanted to say that one more time)!!!

I then make sure that I've exhausted all possible dialogue options with both Sparky and Faye.
http://img802.imageshack.us/img802/2316/30909856.jpg
Shut the hell up, you Charlize Theron wannabe.

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I take a look outside of the plane, only to find it surrounded by a school of piranhas, who are stopping me from picking up that rather handy looking propeller.

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The solution seems fairly obvious and so I dip my beef jerky into the water (and no, that isn't a euphemism; I'm not into aquatic S&M, thank you very much). The piranhas bugger off and I'm free to pick up the propeller.

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The rest of the gang join me on a lily-pad, which is strong enough to hold the weight of three adults... apparently. We then use the propeller to row to the shore.

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Naturally it's muggins here who has to do all of the work, whilst Ms. Prissy Knickers preens herself and the fat man-child plays with a yo-yo.

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Before I head off into the Jungle to re-enact the plot of 'Cannibal Holocaust'; Sparky asks me if I could pick up a replacement copy of his water damaged comic book!

Sadly there's no dialogue option to say:

"Fuck you and your pathetic kids comic, you complete imbecile. Our friendship is over!"

or

"I should have saved the beef jerky and fed you to the piranhas, fat boy. After-all, I'm sure the jerky would have been more useful and it would have made for a better conversationalist!"

... Instead Joe agrees to help Sparky out if he can because Joe is a wet sock.

http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/695/wetsock.jpg
"Hello. My name is Joe. Allow me to let you walk all over me."

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Guybrush then walks into the jungle and...

... Sorry, wrong game!

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Joe then walks into the jungle and comes across a parrot, who babbles something about a princess and a kidnapping in-between his squawks. This moment isn't a rip-off of the dog from the Scumm Bar in 'Monkey Island' at all... is what a lawyer at Warner Interactive would say.

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I use my knife to cut down a hanging vine. Which um... darn, I don't really have anything funny to say about this! Uh, give me a second... which was a really fvine thing to do.

... I'll get me coat! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3OM2MA1pic)

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Moving on I come across Robin Williams a gorilla, who's blocking the path.

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A gorilla, displaying himself to a potential mate.

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Award winning actor and comedian, Robin Williams.

I decide to head back for now and go off in a different direction...
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... and come across a bridge in need of repair. You hardly have to be EinsteinIronstein to figure out what we need to do here.

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Yep, the vine does the job and we make our way across the repaired bridge.

On the other side of the bridge we find a banana...
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Joe could easily be describing my very own "Pocket Rocket" here, save for one detail; mine is only two and a half inches long but it is curved and it is most certainly a putrid yellow colour!

It seems fairly obvious that we should now head on back to the gorilla and offer him the banana...

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... Which the greedy git proceeds to eat but still refuses to budge!

I'm now lost as to what to do next so I travel around a bit; until...

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I come back to this screen and realise that another banana has miraculously appeared! I walk back to the gorilla and give him a second feeding but he still won't budge a single inch!

I'm now bemused as to how to progress and desperate times call for desperate measures:

USE BASEBALL BAT on GORILLA...
http://img805.imageshack.us/img805/8334/15033227.jpg
Dammit Joe, the only kind of baseball I want to play involves using this hairy bastard's head as a ball!

Okay, perhaps Joe will interpret this command a little better:

USE KNIFE on GORILLA...
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Dag-nab-it Joe, quit acting like you're Dian Fossey and slice up that primate!

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Clearly this lot have never had their path blocked by a banana guzzling annoyance!

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Hell yeah!

I'm completely stumped so I guess it's time to save my game and call it a day for now.

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/4515/scummvm00000.jpg

Well, that's it for Part 2.

[Jennifer]

Oh, ack. You're on that puzzle. That's a weird puzzle. :eek: You're going to have to suspend your feelings of disbelief for that one.

[Alcoremortis]

Can you try to hit the gorilla with the banana?

[corruptbiggins]

Good part 2. Leaves me anticipating part 3 in which I guess you get so frustrated you quit this game and play something else!

[Darth Marsden]

Yayz! Awesome as always. Looking forward to part 3.

[St_Eddie]

Oh, ack. You're on that puzzle. That's a weird puzzle. :eek: You're going to have to suspend your feelings of disbelief for that one.

Hmm, okay. Advice taken with no small amount of trepidation.

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"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Can you try to hit the gorilla with the banana?

Sadly there is no "hit" verb. Oh God, how I wish that there were.

Good part 2. Leaves me anticipating part 3 in which I guess you get so frustrated you quit this game and play something else!

Trust me when I say that I'm in this for the long haul. For better or for worse.

P.S. I love your new Starbug avatar. :D

[corruptbiggins]

Trust me when I say that I'm in this for the long haul. For better or for worse.

P.S. I love your new Starbug avatar. :D

That's good. It'll make this all the more interesting.

Oh and thanks, I was messing around last night with my lickle Starbug and just decided to make it my avatar. A few photos later and voila! If you look closely you can see that I've penciled in the left hand (as you're looking at it) cockpit window for some drunken reason.

[St_Eddie]

... I was messing around last night with my lickle Starbug and just decided to make it my avatar. A few photos later and voila! If you look closely you can see that I've penciled in the left hand (as you're looking at it) cockpit window for some drunken reason.

Oh yes, so you have. XD

I suppose you could pretend that the crew crashed into an asteroid or something!

[corruptbiggins]

Oh yes, so you have. XD

I suppose you could pretend that the crew crashed into an asteroid or something!

Yeah why not! It's not as if that hasn't happened at all before!

[St_Eddie]

I've added a few updates to part 2, so those who've already read it may want to have a second look. The new stuff consists of pictures and photos outside of the game itself, so they should be easy enough to spot!

I'll be posting Part 3 tomorrow.

[puzzlebox]

Joe King (it's best to get used to the cringe inducing puns in this game)

To be honest I always expected Joe and Faye to get together at the end, just for the Joe King / Faye King gag. :p

This is great stuff, definitely got some laughs out of me! I look forward to the next installment with anticipation.

[St_Eddie]

To be honest I always expected Joe and Faye to get together at the end, just for the Joe King / Faye King gag. :p

Oh wow, I'd never considered that. :D

Looks like I now know what the final gag I'll be making for my let's play will be, thanks to you. :)

[corruptbiggins]

I've added a few updates to part 2, so those who've already read it may want to have a second look. The new stuff consists of pictures and photos outside of the game itself, so they should be easy enough to spot!

It felt like there was something missing, and that was it. Keep it up!

[Darth Marsden]

Aw. Every time I see someone's posted in this thread I keep thinking it's the next part. And then I look at who posted and it's not. Stop getting my hopes up! I can't live like this! YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, PEOPLE! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Plz-bhcHryc)

[corruptbiggins]

Sorry!

[Darth Marsden]

No you're not. You're just saying that to get me to shut up.

(I'm the one who's actually sorry, I seem to be a bit mad this afternoon/evening. Video editing'll do that to you.)

[St_Eddie]

Aw. Every time I see someone's posted in this thread I keep thinking it's the next part. And then I look at who posted and it's not. Stop getting my hopes up! I can't live like this! YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, PEOPLE! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Plz-bhcHryc)

I'm sorry if you were thinking this post might have been Part 3 but I just thought I'd let you know that I'm going to have a shower, watch 'The Simpsons', eat my dinner and then I'll get started on Part 3. I promise that it'll be uploaded at some point tonight. :)

[Darth Marsden]

Gah! That was mean! Slapped wrists all round.

...but not slapped so hard you can't work. I do want you to keep up with this, after all. :)

[Edward VanHelgen]

http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/2977/williamso.jpg

[St_Eddie]

Let's Play 'Flight of the Amazon Queen'
Part 3: 'Insulting the Locals (aka 'Joe the Jerk)'

Following Part 2 and my inability to get past the gorilla; forum user, Jennifer suggested suspending all disbelief in my approach. Following her advice, I resort to trying to talk to the gorilla. Yeah, like that's going to work!

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http://img820.imageshack.us/img820/2416/65513838.jpg
http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/1949/27007166.jpg

http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/6086/thethingi.jpg
"You've gotta be fucking kidding!"

The conversation with the anthropomorphic creature continues and it's not long before we are playing a game of charades... I shit you not.
http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/1628/71255829.jpg
http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/462/facepalmgorilla.jpg
Whereas I can't believe that the developers had me playing charades with an ape.

As thoroughly "amusing" as all of this is, it's really not helping me to get past our idiotic irritant. The solution to this problem makes just about as much sense as a talking primate...

http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/6410/51045330.jpg
http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/5357/28072892.jpg
http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/1514/70658222.jpg

... at which point the gorilla disappears up it's own paradox...
http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/3952/63990741.jpg
...but not before briefly transforming into Mr. DNA from 'Jurassic Park'.

http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/5818/mrdna.gif
"That's 'Mr. Damn Nonsensical Ape' to you!"

This whole scenario seemed so ridiculous and far fetched that I had to take a moment to stop playing and come up with a rational explanation for what just occurred.

I came the conclusion that Dr. Fruitloop designed a robotic simian as a guard to keep unwanted visitors away from his lab.

http://img804.imageshack.us/img804/9983/robogorilla.jpg
ADVERTISEMENT: Another fine product from Fruitloop Incorporated. *Disclaimer: Robot Gorilla may be prone to constantly initiating a game of charades. No refunds.

What Joe did was introduce a state of cognitive dissonance (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Does_not_compute) within the artificial intelligence of the robot, causing it to explode...

http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/9566/mechagorrila.jpg
"Does not compute!"
http://img854.imageshack.us/img854/4108/nuclearexplosiond.jpg

... Either that or the developers simply dropped a bollock on this one!

http://img825.imageshack.us/img825/4788/casinochips.jpg
I'm betting everything on 'bollock'.

http://img706.imageshack.us/img706/8872/91777212.jpg
It's time for another cut-scene...

http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/9417/68608187.jpg
Faye is sick of waiting for Joe to return and who can blame her, considering that Joe has spent the last three years trying to get passed an ape.

Out of frustration, Faye chucks her expensive bottle of perfume into the lake, which is a pretty short sighted thing to do...
http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/6746/elephantride.jpg
... after-all, you never know when you might need to spray some perfume on a stinky elephant's head.

Disposing of a valued personal possession may seem like a fairly random thing for Faye to do but the developers clearly intended this scene to give her character extra depth by showing her impending mental breakdown add an extra item to the player's inventory.

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/638/34288882.jpg/
Unfortunately because Faye has never acted in a horror movie before, she decides to split up and go looking for help all by herself. However, I'm sure that this will have no adverse consequences whatsoever. I mean, it's not like there's a mad scientist lurking in the jungle, ready to kidnap her and try to turn her into a dinosaur-woman hybrid or anything...

http://img853.imageshack.us/img853/9149/43317855.jpg
...Oh right, him! Oh well, if the worst comes to the worst then Faye could always star in the next 'Jurassic Park' movie. As a bonus, it'll also save the studio a small fortune in special effects!

I head on back to the crash site in an attempt to retrieve the perfume but Joe is wary of the piranhas again and for some unexplained reason we're unable to distract them with the last of our beef jerky, as we did previously.

http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/971/piranhab.jpg
"Beef jerky will no longer suffice, human. We now demand a virgin sacrifice."

http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4627/piranha2c.jpg
"... and a shrubbery."

LOOK at SPARKY:
http://img545.imageshack.us/img545/9191/41144750.jpg
http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/8494/59805021.jpg
Bloody hell, Joe! He's sat right in front of you! You should change your name by deed pole to 'Joe Foo King Rood'.

http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/534/37894033.jpg
Sparky is attempting to fix the engine by filing down the damage on it; a great mechanic he is not!

Joe asks Sparky if he can have the file.

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/6/fingernails.jpg
Joe's finger nails.

http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/8740/47873200.jpg
However, Sparky refuses to provide Joe with the tool until he has provided him with a replacement 'Commander Rocket' comic. Hmm, I wonder why he's being so unhelpful...
http://img545.imageshack.us/img545/9191/41144750.jpg
One minute prior.

This is going nowhere fast so I head back to the now gorilla-less path and proceed onwards.

http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/2859/82149350.jpg
I reach a view of the surrounding area, which acts as a map for selectable locations. First stop; Trader Bob.

http://img560.imageshack.us/img560/765/49635403.jpg
Upon arrival, Joe immediately insults a local!

http://img577.imageshack.us/img577/2139/trophyd.jpg
"Mr. Foo King Rood, we present to you this award for 'Nice Guy of the Year' with no small amount of sarcasm."

http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/2697/80405524.jpg
Joe continues to bully the confused pygmy, who remains silent (this is probably due to the poor sod suffering from low self-esteem and trying to hold back the tears). Joe decides to stop being a jerk for all of 2 minutes and walks into the village.

http://img571.imageshack.us/img571/9037/77923455.jpg
First we'll try to talk to the chief of the village...

http://img843.imageshack.us/img843/6269/76108183.jpg
http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/8862/37891846.jpg
ROUGH TRANSLATION: "Of course not! What do you think I am?! A gorilla or something!"

http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/9341/43651285.jpg
I'm starting to think that I'm playing the wrong game. This is 'Flight of the Amazon Queen', right? Not 'Asshole Simulator '95'?!

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/6173/71575027.jpg
I head into Trader Bob's shop and am greeted by the man himself. I notice that the dog from the Scumm Bar parrot that we came across earlier is sat on a perch.

I ask Bob about what the parrot had told me earlier...
http://img845.imageshack.us/img845/1149/29321009.jpg
http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/2975/76362239.jpg
http://img853.imageshack.us/img853/6601/58884239.jpg

Bob dishes out the local gossip...
http://img205.imageshack.us/img205/4183/21529205.jpg
http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/4881/72437876.jpg
http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/5983/newspapert.jpg
Stop press! Joe in 'asking a constructive question' shocker!

http://img269.imageshack.us/img269/5871/23265864.jpg
Because there's nothing conspicuous about a Lederhosen company in the middle of the Amazon Jungle!

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/2788/lederhosen.jpg
Lederhosen; it's all the rage with the tribes of today.

Bob says that he knows Princess Azura personally and asks me to rescue her. He claims that he can't do so himself because he's a lazy coward the kidnappers know that he is friends with Azura and that Joe will stand a better chance of getting near her.

Joe forgets that he's trying to find a way out of the jungle and save his friends' lives and agrees to help Bob instead.

I end my conversation with Bob and notice his beef jerky jar is empty. Bob has been selling beef jerky from his store but has run out and is waiting for supplies. What is it with beef jerky and this game?!

http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/9682/beefjerkyi.jpg
'Flight of the Amazon Queen', brought to you in association with Blamo's Beef Jerky; serving you the finest in beef jerky since 1806.

http://img840.imageshack.us/img840/6706/39490242.jpg
I offer Bob the last of my beef jerky.
http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/250/35991807.jpg
http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/4007/47232580.jpg
Sounds good to me.
http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/1200/15483860.jpg
What. The. Fuck. Shut the hell up, Joe. I'm in charge here and I say take the God damn money. What do you think I am, a charity?

http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/3116/71248925.jpg
No. I insist.

I hand the jerky over to Bob, take the money and give Joe an evil stare for attempting to screw me over. Bob then tells me that's he's starving (yeah, he really looks it. The skin is just draping off his bones) and wolfs down the beef jerky. For a man named 'Trader Bob', you'd think that he'd know not to consume his own stock. It's hardly a surprise that his fucking jar was empty!

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/6173/71575027.jpg
I think you meant to say 'Incompetent Trader Bob'.

Now that I have some money; it's time to have a look at the goods in the store...

Let's start by looking at some alcohol...
http://img841.imageshack.us/img841/7843/91416192.jpg
Good for you, Joe.
http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/7007/65836164.jpg
Uhhhh... admitting that you're in denial is the first step to recovery, Joe.

http://img713.imageshack.us/img713/3517/35093082.jpg
What's this? A film reel.
http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/8/20152964.jpg
A Swedish wildlife film? I'm imaging something like this...

http://img849.imageshack.us/img849/6700/abbad.jpg
"And here we observe the wondrous ABBA creatures, grazing amongst their natural habitat; the Eurovision Song Contest. If we're especially quiet then we may be fortunate enough to hear them sing one of their mating calls."

http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/7875/39325330.jpg
Attempting to purchase 99% of the merchandise results in Bob saying the above. I hereby promote Bob from 'Incompetent Trader Bob' to 'Soon to be Out of Business Bob'.

http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/5250/promotions.jpg
"Congratulations, Bob. You've really earned it. You'll find an application for welfare enclosed."

http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/5466/30236927.jpg
In fact, the only item that Bob actually appears to be selling is this vacuum cleaner. So I purchase it.

http://img525.imageshack.us/img525/6868/hoovern.jpg
The Oxford Dictionary defines a vacuum cleaner as a device used for the cleaning of carpets, the interior of cars and for tidying up the Amazon jungle.

Next I talk to Bob's assistant...
http://img269.imageshack.us/img269/2699/56866166.jpg
http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/9454/61525982.jpg
Wedgewood is the parrot in case you were wondering.

http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/7703/parrotx.jpg
"Man, that perfume was totally psychedelic. I was tripping my balls off for weeks. You gotta fix me up with some more, man. I just need another hit. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME DRY!"

Of course, I know where to find some perfume and the lady is interested in getting a replacement bottle...

http://img542.imageshack.us/img542/7446/38335114.jpg
Please say access to your vagina. Please say access to your vagina.

http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/4065/99903171.jpg
http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/9148/disappointedo.jpg
"Oh, great. Just what I've always wanted. Scissors."

http://img593.imageshack.us/img593/638/84148691.jpg
I leave the shop to take a cold shower and a cut-scene kicks in.

http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/9166/40943356.jpg

http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/1846/indy4i.jpg
http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/7421/womanscreaming.gif

http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/7919/13499371.jpg
Notice the framed photo of Dr. Fruitloop on the wall. It's the exact same shot from earlier in the game. I guess that the Lackey took a photo of him whilst he was cackling in a evil manner.

http://img853.imageshack.us/img853/9149/43317855.jpg
"Say cheese Nyah ha ha haar, Sir.

http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/4118/47568224.jpg
http://img854.imageshack.us/img854/6127/57149840.jpg
http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/2636/41196135k.jpg
That's right; humour the old fart, Lackey #6.

http://img600.imageshack.us/img600/9457/67385374.jpg

All together now...
http://img694.imageshack.us/img694/5940/55328375.jpg
DINOSAUR WOMEN!

http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/5127/97331582.jpg
Is Dr. Fruitloop really going to explain his plan every single time we cut to him?! Go on then, do your silly little evil laugh...
http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/7716/90633655.jpg
That's the spirit!

http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/894/90430461.jpg
http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/1263/42952009.jpg
"I'll go fetch your medication, Sir."
"...You crazy old bastard."

Well, that's it for Part 3.

[Darth Marsden]

You need to center the Indiana Jones poster and the screaming woman below it, but otherwise a perfectly brilliant piece of entertainment. Very much enjoying these, thanks for doing it!

[St_Eddie]

You need to center the Indiana Jones poster and the screaming woman below it

Fixed ;)

...otherwise a perfectly brilliant piece of entertainment. Very much enjoying these

Thanks man, I'm so happy that people are enjoying it. Part 3 took five hours to put together!

First I have to play the game segments themselves and keep my fingers hovered over ALT+S at all times, in order to take screenshots.

I usually end up with around 200 screenshots for each Part, which I then have to whittle down to the essentials for the forum.

Next I convert the screenshots to JPEG format (one by one) and upload them to Imageshack.

Then I have to copy the address for each individual screenshot from Imageshack and paste them onto this thread.

It's then a case of creating the actual post and coming up with things to say about each screen, whilst also scouring Google Images for relevant pictures.

It's a bit of a pain in the arse to be honest but it's all worthwhile providing people are entertained by the final result.

Thanks for doing it!

No, thank you for taking the time to read through my let's play and leaving kind feedback.

[Darth Marsden]

Thanks man, I'm so happy that people are enjoying it. Part 3 took five hours to put together!
...
No, thank you for taking the time to read through my let's play and leaving kind feedback.You're very welcome! It's easy to enjoy these things when you make them so god-damn funny, and I'm happy to be a fan, as I suspect all of us are. Long may you continue!

[corruptbiggins]

Fantastic stuff. Thanks for putting the effort in and doing this.

[WarpSpeed]

Don't worry, we're being entertained!

(Especially since I've been drinking already. Must be NHL playoffs or something.)

[Alcoremortis]

This is hilarious and probably much better than a video walkthrough would be (some things just don't translate as well into video). I was in stitches with the looking at Sparky repeatedly to get the "he's looking kinda pudgy" line whenever the piranhas were mentioned. Why do the designers never give us the option to sacrifice our own companions for the good of the plot? Why?

[puzzlebox]

For a man named 'Trader Bob', you'd think that he'd know not to consume his own stock. It's hardly a surprise that his fucking jar was empty!

We always called him "Trader Slob". :p

Part 3 took five hours to put together!


It's worth it! I love this game and your Let's Play, thanks so much for taking the time.

[St_Eddie]

We always called him "Trader Slob". :p

Haha. Good one. :D

It's worth it! I love this game and your Let's Play, thanks so much for taking the time.

Aw, thankski verski muchski, budski!

I'll be uploading Part 4 tomorrow.

[St_Eddie]

Let's Play 'Flight of the Amazon Queen'
Part 4: 'Bestiality is Not Acceptable... Unless You're a Missionary'

It's time to travel to a new location...
http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/7016/59613256.jpg
Let's try exploring the jungle some more.

http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/9969/50471492.jpg
We come across a three-toed sloth, doing what it does best and just hanging out.

http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/9310/77649109.jpg
My first instinct is to discipline the sloth with tough love and force it to respect my "authoritah"! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZh10Ez0op8)

Sadly, for some reason the game seems to have no concept of "authoritah" and so therefore the three-toed sloth remains unpunished for daring to exist. Damn it!

http://img36.imageshack.us/img36/2199/sloths.png
You win this round, you furry little shit.

http://img859.imageshack.us/img859/5586/29337350.jpg
Moving on, we meet a couple of explorers named Bud and Skip.

http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/3255/93519997.jpg
Bud explains that they were captured by a tribe of Amazonian women and used as sex slaves (no really, that's what they say)...

http://img849.imageshack.us/img849/9186/16412239.jpg
http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/5254/55308754.jpg
Oh Joe, you're so adorably sexist.

http://img542.imageshack.us/img542/5958/36534388.jpg
However, they were eventually released and are now desperately trying to get captured again.

http://img855.imageshack.us/img855/7136/futuramap.jpg
Rape: it's a fun-time bonanza!

Let's go behind the scenes at Warner Interactive, during the period when 'Flight of the Amazon Queen' was being developed...
http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/7373/nerdt.jpg
"Finally, a creative outlet for my lifelong fantasy of having sex with a woman being molested by Amazonian women!"

Joe then proceeds to ask an incredibly stupid question...
http://img545.imageshack.us/img545/9767/46994515.jpg
It's the fucking Amazon, Joe! What do you think?!

http://img845.imageshack.us/img845/1980/arcticq.jpg
The Amazon jungle, as Joe expected it to be.

He also makes an incredibly stupid statement...
http://img688.imageshack.us/img688/2623/68567599.jpg
Yep, everybody knows that Amazon women are right up there with Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/1966/amazonwomen.jpg
Pfft! 'WWW.SO-FAKE.COM' more like!

http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/3802/46594716.jpg
We then talk to Skip, who is a comic collector. He also tells us that he primarily collects 'Commander Rocket' comics...

http://img856.imageshack.us/img856/6815/duhk.jpg
"Duh, I wonder if this will tie in with me having to find Sparky a replacement comic!"

Skip also explains to us just how far his hardcore obsession with his hobby extends to, by telling us where he has stored his issue #1 of 'Commander Rocket'...
http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/3402/35277574.jpg
Along with the rotting corpses of several prostitutes, no doubt.

It's extremely contrived fortunate that Skip just happens to be carrying the exact same issue of 'Commander Rocket' that Sparky has requested. Further more, Skip is more than happy to simply hand it over to us when asked, without wanting anything in return.

http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/2900/puzzlexm.jpg
Puzzles; fuck it, who needs 'em?! I do, when I'm playing a fucking adventure game!

http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/4051/35309135.jpg
A blueprint falls out of the 'Commander Rocket' comic.

http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/2706/34524371.jpg
Skip gives me a 'Commander Rocket' secret code to pass on to fellow fan, Sparky. It reads; 'GSRH RH Z HVXIVG'!

By using the blueprint, I'm able to translate the secret code (which is actually an easter egg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easter_egg_%28media%29)). The translated code reads 'This is a secret'...

http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/5885/eastereggv.jpg
"Worst. Easter Egg. Ever."

Before I leave to hand the comic over to Sparky, Bud provides me with one more vital piece of information...
http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/7232/89709744.jpg
http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/3290/99803724.jpg
Wonderful. Thanks for the information, Bud. Anything else that you'd care to tell me? Perhaps about your chronic case of hemorrhoids? Or shall we just leave it at 'knob-rot', hmm?

Anyway, Bud requests that I fetch him a cure for "Bud Jr.", should I come across one. Fine, it's not like I have anything better to do then to sort out your diseased penis, Bud. Well, except for...

* Saving my companions from certain death within the jungle.
* Saving a Princess from being turned into a dinosaur.

... Nope, Bud's rancid cock is clearly the priority here.

http://img855.imageshack.us/img855/7536/78985752.jpg
I make my way back to Sparky, in order to give him his precious 'Commander Rocket' comic.

http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/778/97374584.jpg
And it's going to be in even less of a 'mint condition' once I've finished beating your sorry ass with it, you bloody ingrate!

The ungrateful sod begrudgingly accepts the comic, thus restoring his complete 'Commander Rocket' collection...
http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/2083/89829836.jpg
... no doubt including the 'Pocket Rocket Condom', which is seldom used by comic geeks like Sparky (but hey, at least he's able to keep it sealed and in mint condition).

http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/241/15573854.jpg
Sparky hands me over one of his files and I'm on my miserable merry way.

http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/2193/13485402.jpg
Making my way back into the jungle, I find a fish attempting to eat a hovering beetle. There's no way to catch the little blighter at present though, so I move on.

http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/8295/12479507.jpg
Oh God, please no! Not again!

http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/6797/screamx.jpg
"FFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKK!"

http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/3295/53826895.jpg
The gorilla tells us that's he's a dinosaur and that he's guarding the log bridge.

Let's have take another peek behind the scenes at Warner Interactive...
http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/7431/nerdglasses.jpg
"Hey guys, I've got it! You know that really loathsome gorilla character from earlier in the game? Yeah, let's reuse him."

http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/1903/35128752.jpg
http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/8228/68970124.jpg
I attempt to make the walking turd disappear up his own paradox again but it fails to work this time.

Running away as fast as I can, I come across...
http://img708.imageshack.us/img708/1322/35446297.jpg
... Hold on, this scene looks eerily familiar; almost like something from a nightmare! Hmm...

http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/8554/efmi.jpg
http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/2248/nightmareyr.jpg
"The memories (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gqcoAHHZYE) are flooding back. I had tried so hard to forget!"

http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/311/68817276.jpg
I am incredibly relieved to find that these monkeys don't talk and nor do they practice the art of 'Monkey Kombat'. Phew.

http://img708.imageshack.us/img708/1322/35446297.jpg
It turns out that the two people are married missionaries, named Jimmy and Mary-Lou (I wonder if they're married missionaries who do it in the missionary position?) and they are in the Amazon jungle to educate the local tribes.

However, the tribes weren't interested in their teachings (who can blame them) and so they've decided to study the local wildlife instead (as you do).

Frankly, I'm getting bored now and so decide to imagine that Jimmy has a... um, rather unhealthy "special relationship" with the monkeys!
http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/6831/55317361.jpg
... Yeah, preferably attached to the end of your penis!

http://imageshack.us/a/img819/5895/scummvm00003.jpg
I bet that you're forever blowing bubbles!

http://imageshack.us/a/img252/9108/scummvm00001.jpg
"Studying"... yeah, right! I'm sure that you give them a good, hard studying on a regular basis!

http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/8332/64139763.jpg
http://imageshack.us/a/img145/7748/scummvm00004.jpg
http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/5954/sirend.jpg
WARNING: EUPHEMISM OVERLOAD!

Listen, I apologise for the crudeness of my imagination but I have to do something to keep me sane during this let's play! Give me a break.

http://img857.imageshack.us/img857/971/83708511.jpg
Moving swiftly on from the subject of bestiality, Jimmy tells me that last month he studied sloths.

http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/2377/47812573.jpg
I'll give you a 50/50 chance of guessing, Joe. It's either :

A/ The creature you attempted to beat with a bat earlier.

or

B/ It's this abomination...


http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/376/slothgoonies.jpg

Joe must have chosen the latter option because he then asks this question...
http://img196.imageshack.us/img196/2528/94201075.jpg
Joe, you're a fucking moron!

http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/2950/18687756.jpg
I think that the developers had given up at this point and couldn't be bothered to even try and make this "hint" subtle. I shrug my shoulders and give Mary-Lou a replacement file. In exchange, she hands me a 'Pygmy-to-English dictionary', which will allow me to converse with the local tribes.

Before I head on back to the Pygmy village to try out my new dictionary, I notice that the middle monkey is the only one without a banana...
http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/2689/30903472.jpg
I hand the simian my potassium based treat and I pick up the coconut, which he was previously holding.

http://img857.imageshack.us/img857/7753/52538684.jpg
I arrive back at the village and use my dictionary to communicate with the Chief.

http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/7843/36374408.jpg
He tells me what I already knew hours ago and then proceeds to tell some excruciating jokes, which I've cut from this let's play; you lot owe me big time!

Seeming as the Chief is about as useful as a solar powered flashlight, I go to talk to the Witch Doctor...
http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/4135/66615562.jpg
No shit, Sherlock!

http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/6730/27612164.jpg
I ask the Witch Doctor to make me a cure for Bud's genital rash, which is honestly something I could've happily gone the rest of my life without asking!

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/9822/92008138.jpg
The Witch Doctor tells me that I will need to fetch three ingredients for the cure. The items she lists are perplexingly cryptic painfully obvious...

http://img201.imageshack.us/img201/1992/25624059.jpg
That'll be the hair from the three-toed sloth then.

http://img542.imageshack.us/img542/6796/19350334.jpg
Yeah, yeah... the coconut that I'm already carrying.

http://img860.imageshack.us/img860/1734/83138091.jpg
Let's see now; the beetle hovering over the fish, perchance?

I might as well give her the coconut whilst I'm here...
http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/1884/22675541.jpg
Being that Joe is a complete waste of space, he seems to be unaware that coconuts contain milk! I mean, what were you thinking of doing, Joe? Milking Sparky's man-boobs?!

http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/116/68611804.jpg
Because Joe would need to be instructed to wipe his own ass, I tell him to use the knife on the coconut and voila; milk.

That's one of the three ingredients sorted and a good time to save my game I think...

http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/6460/87357814.jpg

Well, that's it for Part 4

[ted12]

Use spoiler tags on the pics, please. It's really quite annoying.

[Edward VanHelgen]

I wanna see Let's Play spin-off entirely led by Comic Book Guy.

Also, i'm in a moral dilemma - i was planning on replaying it myself, but i can't stop reading it.

[corruptbiggins]

Your saved game titles tell a story in of it's self!

[St_Eddie]

Use spoiler tags on the pics, please. It's really quite annoying.

What's everyone else's opinion on this?

It's up to the majority vote.

[GuruGuru214]

It'd be futile anyway. You can't spoiler tag images.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y99/GuruGuru214/PotatOS.png

You'd have to either post the images as thumbnail links or text links, and that would be extremely annoying for all involved.

What baffles me is why someone who doesn't want to be spoiled is looking at a damn let's play.

[St_Eddie]

It'd be futile anyway. You can't spoiler tag images.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y99/GuruGuru214/PotatOS.png

You'd have to either post the images as thumbnail links or text links, and that would be extremely annoying for all involved.


Oh well, I guess it's a moot point then.

What baffles me is why someone who doesn't want to be spoiled is looking at a damn let's play.

I'd assumed that they were referring to the images outside of the game (e.g. the photo of Sloth from 'The Goonies').

[GuruGuru214]

Ah. Well, that's just asking you to censor your sense of humor, isn't it?

[St_Eddie]

Ah. Well, that's just asking you to censor your sense of humor, isn't it?

:D

Seriously though, if anybody feels that the upcoming gags are being ruined because you're spotting the images before you've finished reading the prior text; then may I suggest using that wonderful invention, known as the scroll bar, to keep the section that you're currently reading at the very bottom of the screen.

[WarpSpeed]

The easily spoiled can also reduce the size of their browser windows, so that they are incapable of seeing more than one picture at a time.

[Alcoremortis]

The jokes are still funny even if I've already seen the picture. Because it's the picture plus the text that makes the joke, really. Good job, Davies! This Let's Play has continued to bring a smile to my face and tears of laughter to my eyes.

[St_Eddie]

This Let's Play has continued to bring a smile to my face and tears of laughter to my eyes.

Phew! That's a relief. I was really worried about Part 4 because the gameplay really didn't offer much in the way of opportunities to make jokes. I think I did an okay job but I do think it's the weakest part so far.

Hopefully, Part 5 will present some more easily mocked scenarios. Another Dr. Ironstein/Fruitloop cut-scene would be most welcome. I don't even have to try to be funny with those parts because he's such a ludicrous character!

[Darth Marsden]

Oh, that made my morning. Very much enjoying this. Thanks!

[Secret Fawful]

This is great stuff.

[puzzlebox]

Since you stayed up til 3am making this, I stayed up til 2am reading it. I actually cackled at one point, the whole Bud & Skip part was great! Got no issue with the images/layout either... just keep doing what you're doing, it's a pleasure to keep reading.

[flesk]

This is great stuff indeed. Looking forward to the next part and hope you'll do similar let's plays for other games once you're finished with this one. If I might make a suggestion, I think Malcolm's Revenge might be suitable for the same treatment.

[daro2096]

Is swearing allowed on this forum?

[RetroVortex]

Is swearing allowed on this forum?

Only if your alliegance is with the Flying Pancake Paladin Warriors of Justice, Virtue and Delicious Maple!

Otherwise we might have a little problem...

http://cdn.styleforum.net/e/e8/e84453ed_Are-You-Fucking-Kidding-Me-Rage-Face-Meme-Template-Blank-300x295.png

[Jennifer]

I'm really enjoying this so far. :)

I'm really looking forward to the next part. :D

[Darth Marsden]

Only if your alliegance is with the Flying Pancake Paladin Warriors of Justice, Virtue and Delicious Maple!

Otherwise we might have a little problem... ...and that's why I always censor myself.

Also, you spelt allegiance wrong, f**khead. :p

[GuruGuru214]

Is swearing allowed on this forum?

In moderation, yes, as long as it's not used to attack another user.

[RetroVortex]

...and that's why I always censor myself.

Also, you spelt allegiance wrong, f**khead. :p

Oh shush. W***er

[St_Eddie]

Is swearing allowed on this forum?

Context my dear boy, context. I'm very careful with my use of swearing, both on this forum and in real life. That's not to say that I don't swear because as any of my friends would tell you, I'm more than prone to the occasional explicit word. It's all about how a swear word is used and if it is used appropriately.

Swearing is a part of language and language is a tool. It's knowing how to correctly use that tool that is key.

A swear word should be used to emphasise a point or for humorous effect. When insulting someone, I'd much sooner be witty and avoid unnecessary swearing whenever possible.

It amuses me no small amount when I come across a complete fool in this world and I insult them in a creative and biting way, only to have them respond with "fuck off". I end up coming across as the winner of the argument and they come across as a complete idiot. Excellent!

In moderation, yes, as long as it's not used to attack another user.

Precisely. Moderation is everything and if you can't use your swearing in moderation then I'm sure a moderator will talk to you for failing to use moderation. It's all about the two forms of mod!

I'm really enjoying this so far. :)

I'm really looking forward to the next part. :D

Aw, shucks! Thank you, you splendid individual, you. :)

[KuroShiro]

Nice job on the LP. Brings back fond memories of this game.

Keep on fighting the good fight (that means updating this thread and entertaining me :p).

[St_Eddie]

I have a question to ask all of you...

At present I'm spending anywhere from 5-7 hours creating each segment and I was thinking of creating shorter parts to this let's play. Hopefully this would result in more frequent updates (although I can't guarantee that) but ultimately doing so would result in less of a headache for myself, when making each segment.

By creating shorter entries, readers wouldn't be missing out on any content but you would be receiving that content in smaller chunks. Please could everyone let me know what you would prefer; for me to retain the current format or for me to break it down into smaller parts?

Please be brutally honest in your responses and don't tell me what you may think that I want to hear but what you would like to see. My top priority with this let's play is to entertain, so your preference is paramount.

Thank you in advance and I look forward to your replies.

Nice job on the LP... Keep on fighting the good fight (that means updating this thread and entertaining me :p).

Many thanks (great avatar by the way).

[corruptbiggins]

I think you should do what ever is best for you and your sanity. If it means smaller but more frequent updates then so be it. At the end of the day it's your let's play and you can run it in any way you wish. Either way I think it'll still be entertaining. Just don't worry too much about little things like this.

[Jennifer]

If it's becoming a chore for you to do the big updates, and is not fun for you anymore to do it that way, then by all means do smaller ones.

I definitely wouldn't mind smaller parts, especially since you said it would still contain the same content (just in bite sized portions). :)

[KuroShiro]

Many thanks (great avatar by the way).
Thanks, and I vote for doing whatever the hell you want, as it is your thread.

[WarpSpeed]

Is swearing allowed on this forum?

As long as you never, ever, ever, say the plural of Winslow.

At present I'm spending anywhere from 5-7 hours creating each segment and I was thinking of creating shorter parts to this let's play. Hopefully this would result in more frequent updates (although I can't guarantee that) but ultimately doing so would result in less of a headache for myself, when making each segment.

Do whatever is convenient. We aren't paying you for this, after all! If there's anything good about the longer updates, it's that they present more continuous ideas without distraction. Shorter updates have the advantage of being quicker to load and read through (I was the one who said I often don't have time for these...).

You can also work on them in chunks when you have time, and save them to post in one big swoop, if it makes sense.

[divisionten]

As long as you never, ever, ever, say the plural of Winslow.

Winslae? Winnslowes? ********?

[Darth Marsden]

Do what suits you best, Eddie. If shorter updates are easier on you, then shorter updates we shall have.

[Edward VanHelgen]

Yeap - Do What You Feel, Eddie! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l84MdfAox0Y) Be like boy! We like Roy!

As long as you promise to wrap it all together at the end and publish as the Collector's Edition with poster and Commander Rocket figure.

[WarpSpeed]

Winslae? Winnslowes? ********?

I'd ban you for your insolence, except that I don't have access to ban moderators!

(Or anyone else for that matter, but let's not nitpick. The Win-slows are listening.)

[puzzlebox]

I'd ban you for your insolence, except that I don't have access to ban moderators!

That's ok, nor do the moderators!

(Seriously, we can't ban each other, perhaps to stop any one person going on a megalomaniacal rampage and ruling the forums with an iron banhammer.)

[daro2096]

Context my dear boy, context. I'm very careful with my use of swearing, both on this forum and in real life. That's not to say that I don't swear because as any of my friends would tell you, I'm more than prone to the occasional explicit word. It's all about how a swear word is used and if it is used appropriately.

Swearing is a part of language and language is a tool. It's knowing how to correctly use that tool that is key.

A swear word should be used to emphasise a point or for humorous effect. When insulting someone, I'd much sooner be witty and avoid unnecessary swearing whenever possible.

It amuses me no small amount when I come across a complete fool in this world and I insult them in a creative and biting way, only to have them respond with "fuck off". I end up coming across as the winner of the argument and they come across as a complete idiot. Excellent!



Precisely. Moderation is everything and if you can't use your swearing in moderation then I'm sure a moderator will talk to you for failing to use moderation. It's all about the two forms of mod!



Aw, shucks! Thank you, you splendid individual, you. :)


It is just that I was shocked to see swearing here. Never seen any swearing in any posts until this thread so was surprised to see any.

I assumed it was against the rules so was amazed to learn you can actually swear as much as you like here.

[Darth Marsden]

So, uh, are you still doing this Eddie?

[puzzlebox]

So, uh, are you still doing this Eddie?

He mentioned in another thread that he needs (but doesn't want) to put it on hiatus for about a month.

Ed, I very much look forward to the continuation when you're ready.

[Darth Marsden]

He mentioned in another thread that he needs (but doesn't want) to put it on hiatus for about a month.Really? Must have missed that. Thanks for letting me know.

[St_Eddie]

Woah, sorry folks! So, I reached the half-way point of my 'Let's Play' and then my ruddy plane only goes and crashes within the bloomin' depths of the Amazon bloody jungle. My only fellow survivor is a comic loving geek, named Sparky! Would you believe it?! How very ironic!

So, I find myself temporarily indisposed, condemned to playing 'Sonic the Hedgehog' for the Xbox360, amongst the sexy lizard-women of the Amazonian jungle. Oh, how I wished that they'd discovered a copy of 'Skyrim', alongside the glorious spark of fire and the invention of the wheel.

Nonetheless, I shall attempt to update my journal as and when I can, should the sex crazed Amazonian women ever see fit to release me from their erotic grasp!

A new entry is forthcoming. Ouch, my pelvis hurts!

[Darth Marsden]

...:D

[puzzlebox]

I just want you to know that I miss this thing. It helped to alleviate the monotony of my otherwise bland and meaningless existence.

[WarpSpeed]

I think Puzzlebox probably has one of the least bland existences on the board. However, I, too, was thinking about this the other day and wondering if it would ever resume.

[Darth Marsden]

Likewise. It might even encourage me to keep going with my own Let's Play... ;)

[flesk]

I'm also eagerly anticipating the continuance of this let's play. I loved the format of this one and I'm looking forward to the sure to come hardcover book once the let's play is complete.

[St_Eddie]

Hey all, thanks for the kind words of encouragement. I haven't forgotten about this Let's Play ; however, I have some good news and some bad news...

The bad news is that I'm only able to update this thread when I stay over at my parents house, due to technical reasons.

The good news is that I'm visiting my parents this weekend!

[Alcoremortis]

Huzzah! May the cliffhanger finally end!

[puzzlebox]

I think Puzzlebox probably has one of the least bland existences on the board. However, I, too, was thinking about this the other day and wondering if it would ever resume.

Ok, my statement was somewhat hyperbolic. Life is pretty awesome, but the net level of awesome would be increased with another installment of this. :p


The bad news is that I'm only able to update this thread when I stay over at my parents house, due to technical reasons.

The good news is that I'm visiting my parents this weekend!

Hooray for Davies's parents! As if doing us the favour of conceiving and raising you wasn't enough!

[Jennifer]

Hey all, thanks for the kind words of encouragement. I haven't forgotten about this Let's Play ; however, I have some good news and some bad news...

The bad news is that I'm only able to update this thread when I stay over at my parents house, due to technical reasons.

The good news is that I'm visiting my parents this weekend!
http://i.qkme.me/353z53.jpg

[St_Eddie]

Hooray for Davies's parents! As if doing us the favour of conceiving and raising you wasn't enough!

Thanks for the mental image. :/

:p

[St_Eddie]

Aww, screw it! I might as well play a decent game for a change... "http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/9397/monkeyisland1.png
I arrive at the look-out post and an old geezer listens to my inane ramblings. I can feel my lifelong desire to finish this 'Let's Play' be a pirate, ebbing ever closer...

... Seriously though, I'm moving to a new apartment soon and therefore I can't update this 'Let's Play' as much as I'd like to. However, the next installment is forthcoming within the next month or so. I promise. Pinky swear!

[thestalkinghead]

OMG i loved this game (or at least the demo i got free with win 95) but i forgot what it was called and it had been a lingering mystery that i have had for years but now i know what it was called :)

[St_Eddie]

OMG i loved this game (or at least the demo i got free with win 95) but i forgot what it was called and it had been a lingering mystery that i have had for years but now i know what it was called :)

You (and a few others) may be pleased to know that a new installment in my let's play will be uploaded tomorrow. ;)

[Darth Marsden]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gUMBrbWVa3g/TyAeiAYCvLI/AAAAAAAAAiE/c0nyOTSC0Mc/s1600/Woohoo+Wednesday.jpg

I shall very much look forward to it.

[flesk]

Awesome! I'm really looking forward to it, and I usually have zero interest in Let's Plays.

[St_Eddie]

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gUMBrbWVa3g/TyAeiAYCvLI/AAAAAAAAAiE/c0nyOTSC0Mc/s1600/Woohoo+Wednesday.jpg

I shall very much look forward to it.

Awesome! I'm really looking forward to it, and I usually have zero interest in Let's Plays.

Thank you kindly to you both. Making these let's play installments is nothing short of a headache but comments like these make it all worthwhile (and then some).

[Secret Fawful]

You (and a few others) may be pleased to know that a new installment in my let's play will be uploaded tomorrow. ;)

http://i.picpar.com/f89332db8409209c752c4f9a48c623babf0f3507.gif

[St_Eddie]

Whilst you are all waiting for me to finish the tedious workload on my new installment, I thought that I'd just let you know that I've updated Part 4 of this let's play (on page two of this thread).

I was never particularly happy with Part 4 and whilst one can only do so much with the material provided, I do think that it makes for a far more entertaining read now. So, you may want to revisit it. If nothing else, it'll make for a good refresher of where we last left of, prior to tomorrows update.

[St_Eddie]

Let's Play 'Flight of the Amazon Queen'
Part 5: 'Life's a Glitch'

It's been quite some time since the last update so please watch this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH1TEvW1stY) prior to reading on.

Done that? Good. Let's continue...

http://imageshack.us/a/img41/3725/act5jpeg001.jpg
You may recall this complete and utter bastard; the Jar Jar Binks of this game. Well, during the last installment of this let's play I couldn’t figure out how to get past the git but I figure that I might as well attempt the same tactic as before by causing a paradox (regarding Robin Williams’ blatant non-existence within reality)…

http://imageshack.us/a/img689/5685/hookwilliams.jpg
"I do believe in fairies. I do not believe in myself."

http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/5861/act5jpeg002.jpg
It’s worth a shot but surely there’s no way the developers would bring back this waking turd of a character just to repeat exactly the same puzzle as before is there?!
(clue: yes, of course they fucking would because they’re sadists).

http://img824.imageshack.us/img824/6021/act5jpeg003.jpg
No comment.

http://imageshack.us/a/img543/1117/pumpkinrocks.jpg
As I enter the area that the gorilla was previously blocking, I suddenly think that I’m playing a King’s Quest game. Are those supposed to be rocks or are they what they look like; gigantic freakin’ pumpkins?!

http://imageshack.us/a/img526/1091/pumpking.jpg
A man pushing a giant rock.

http://imageshack.us/a/img404/9283/giantrock.jpg
A delicious pumpkin.

http://imageshack.us/a/img6/4307/glitch1r.jpg
I notice a dodgy glitch an interesting detail in the graphics (which I’ve circled for you). It’s some kind of black bar in the water.

http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/7946/act5jpeg004.jpg
Whilst I’m sure that I’ll be needing that orchid, it also occurs to me that the wasps may be the “something with a buzz” ingredient that I need for Bud’s knob lotion. I guess that I was wrong to have assumed that it was the beetle that I would be needing for that - you win this round game.

http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/5813/act5jpeg023.jpg
I vacuum up the wasps and collect the orchid.

http://imageshack.us/a/img152/5341/henryvacuum.jpg
Henry the Hoover; arch nemesis to wasps.

http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/5633/act5jpeg005.jpg
I proceed on and come across what appears to be an entrance to a temple but before I can investigate, Joe hears the sound of someone approaching.

http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/53/act5jpeg006.jpg
Well do it then! Don’t just stand there speaking to yourself and therefore drawing even more attention to your position. Hide man, hide!

http://img834.imageshack.us/img834/6953/act5jpeg025.jpg
Amazingly, the approaching Amazonian women is unable to spot the man shaped blob, wearing a baseball cap that’s crouched right in front of her and walks right past.

http://imageshack.us/a/img502/5351/mancrouching.jpg
“At last, I’ve done it! At last I’ve discovered the secret of invisibility!”

http://img853.imageshack.us/img853/6186/act5jpeg007.jpg
The Amazonian enters by pushing the left booby of the statue (heh heh… more boobies), enters and the door closes behind her.

http://img42.imageshack.us/img42/7163/act5jpeg008.jpg
Oh Lord! Not again, Joe. Why do you find it so hard to believe that there’s such a thing as Amazonian women?!

I walk up to the entrance and examine it…
http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/5456/act5jpeg029.jpg
http://img805.imageshack.us/img805/9052/act5jpeg009.jpg
NEVER?! Breasts?! Really?!

http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/2622/femalestatue.jpg
Ban this sick filth!

http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/7959/act5jpeg010.jpg

http://imageshack.us/a/img507/4489/trap.gif

http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/1203/act5jpeg011.jpg
Ah, that famous Amazonian saying; “mister”.

http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/4777/act5jpeg012.jpg
DUN DUN DUNNNNNN

http://imageshack.us/a/img43/1148/whereamia.jpg
Why? Didn’t you read the previous ‘later in…’ screen, Joe? Anyway, I best try and make my escape…

http://img541.imageshack.us/img541/5213/act5jpeg020.jpg
Uhhhhh... why can’t Joe fit through the bars exactly? You could fit the entire Chinese population through there at the same time (and a few giant pandas to boot).

Maybe if I try pulling on the torch on the wall, it will open up a secret doorway or something…
http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/5904/act5jpeg019.jpg
Good for you, Joe. Now how about pulling on the non-sentient torch like I asked you to, you fucking lemon.

http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/943/act5jpeg013.jpg
Can a jail cell really be “stupid”? Is it really fair to judge a inanimate object by it’s lack of intelligence?

http://imageshack.us/a/img706/7582/shelfp.jpg
“Look at that shelving unit, the moronic bastard. Sitting there, thinking that it’s so much better than the rest of us. The cheeky shit.”

http://imageshack.us/a/img20/171/stupidshelf.jpg
Okay, I take it back. That thing is pretty fucking stupid.

I decide to talk to the crazy looking sod in the corner…
http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/2547/act5jpeg015.jpg
Um, Joe. Do you not remember? Bud and Skip already explained to you that they rape men.

http://img542.imageshack.us/img542/4940/act5jpeg014.jpg
See. Told you.

Joe asks whether he’s in any danger of being killed…
http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/5720/act5jpeg016.jpg
http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/1874/act5jpeg017.jpg
http://img560.imageshack.us/img560/742/act5jpeg018.jpg

http://imageshack.us/a/img811/5671/sexistjoereturns.jpg
The return of Joe “adorably sexist” King!

http://img826.imageshack.us/img826/8695/act5jpeg030.jpg
“Aye, I’ve got another one down me pants, laddie. Would you care to slip your hand down there and try it on for size?”

http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/6909/act5jpeg031.jpg
It’s incredibly tempting to choose the last dialogue option but in the interest of finishing this let’s play sometime before I die, I decide to go for the first option.

http://img824.imageshack.us/img824/6784/act5jpeg032.jpg
States the old man.
http://img844.imageshack.us/img844/1849/act5jpeg033.jpg
Replies Joe.

http://imageshack.us/a/img5/8473/crocdundee.jpg
Interrupts Crocodile Dundee, before going back to not having a career anymore.

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/5705/act5jpeg036.jpg
The old man offers Joe his puppet with a stick baseball bat.

http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/9362/act5jpeg037.jpg
Not this again. For Christ’s sake! Just take the fucking thing, you dingle berry.

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/5705/act5jpeg036.jpg
Yes, take it. It’s sure to be useful at some point considering that this is an adventure game. If someone offers you a punch in the face in an adventure game; you best accept it!

http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/7299/act5jpeg034.jpg
Don’t even start, you walking bucket of bile.

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/5705/act5jpeg036.jpg
TAKE IT!

http://img833.imageshack.us/img833/8004/act5jpeg035.jpg
There’s only one stupid thing here, Joe and that’s you.

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/5705/act5jpeg036.jpg
TAKE IT, TAKE IT, TAKE IT. FUCKING TAKE THE BLOODY THING ALREADY.

http://img812.imageshack.us/img812/292/act5jpeg038.jpg
I don’t particularly want to play an adventure game where I get to control a characterless simpleton like you either but needs must. NOW TAKE THE BASTARD BAT, YOU MASSIVE TIT!

http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/8931/act5jpeg039.jpg
Exactly! How dare you hurt the batshit crazy old git who smells of piss’ feelings, you insensitive asshole.

http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/6984/act5jpeg040.jpg
http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/8971/act5jpeg041.jpg
Finally! The next time you do that, I’m wiping your sorry artificial ass from my hard drive. Let that be a warning to you.

http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/2374/act5jpeg043.jpg
Oh great, look who’s here. It’s little miss prissy knickers. Whoop de do.

http://img845.imageshack.us/img845/2708/act5jpeg044.jpg
If you want to find help for yourself then why don’t you book yourself into a shrink, you self-absorbed bitch!

http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/7333/act5jpeg045.jpg

http://imageshack.us/a/img213/1705/nervousbreakdown.jpg
Yes. Yes, they really are Amazonian women, Joe. Let’s settle this thing right now; what is it that you can’t grasp about women living in the Amazon? Why is an easy to grasp fact so difficult for you to comprehend?

I mean did you get a book for your birthday as a kid called ‘Mythical Creatures of the Ages’ or something? Had that book got melded together with pages from another book titled ‘Women of the Amazon’ due to some freak mishap at the publishers factory?

I just don’t get you, Joe. You’re a bloody imbecile and if I have to listen to you harping on with amazement every time you see or hear about an Amazonian women again, then I’m going to pick up my computer and chuck it (and thus you) out of the God damned window.

You stupid, dumbass, ignorant, poorly written son of a bitch. I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!

http://imageshack.us/a/img171/5747/happypills.jpg
I do apologise, folks. Normal service has now been resumed.

http://img844.imageshack.us/img844/2603/act5jpeg051.jpg
And I’d like to see them just as soon as I’m done rubbing your nips with my mouse cursor.

http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/6705/act5jpeg053.jpg
Hmm. I could swear that I’ve seen this woman somewhere before…
http://imageshack.us/a/img585/8421/52353240.jpg
Ah, the recycling of sprites. Lazy developers everywhere, I hate salute you.

http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/5770/act5jpeg054.jpg
Ms. “I fully endorse recycling” informs me that the evil Dr. Fruitloop has kidnapped their tribe’s Princess. That’s the third person/bird who’s told me, following on from the parrot and Trader Slob.

Did the developers figure that players would suffer from short term memory loss or something? I know that my mission is to put a stop to Dr. Fruitloop and to save the Princess. I really don’t need to be reminded of the fact by every other person (and animal) I come across. The next animal I come across will probably remind me to wipe my own ass!

http://imageshack.us/a/img521/1342/wipingbottom.gif
“Remember; always wipe front to back, Joe.”


http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/3963/act5jpeg056.jpg
The main one being that you’re quite handy when it comes to D.I.Y. because you’re a complete and utter tool. Joe agrees to help the tribe by… yadda yadda yadda, fruitloop, blah, blah, blah princess… and off he goes.

http://img855.imageshack.us/img855/131/act5jpeg058.jpg
Joe exits to the pool area of the temple and immediately starts leering at the ladies.

http://imageshack.us/a/img59/8203/sleazyman.jpg
“Awight darlin’. Wanna see my love stick? It’s nine and a half pixels long."

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Oh stop it, you dirt merchant!

http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/12/act5jpeg059.jpg
The less said about your appalling chauvinistic attitude the better I think.

LOOK AT WATER
http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/2599/act5jpeg061.jpg
How can the water be full?!

http://img546.imageshack.us/img546/9724/act5jpeg062.jpg
Oh no, not the naked lady taking a shower! Come one man, have some respect.

http://img829.imageshack.us/img829/2331/act5jpeg063.jpg
No you’re not.

http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/9880/act5jpeg064.jpg
That’s not going to stop a complete wanker young buck like Joe, right fellows?

http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/9962/act5jpeg065.jpg
Great it’s Asshole Simulator ’95 and Rapist Simulator ’95 available together in a double pack for the first ever time! Little Jimmy will be pleased when he unwraps that present from under the Christmas tree.

http://img651.imageshack.us/img651/491/act5jpeg068.jpg
Because. They. Are. Locked. In. The. Dungeon. As. Has. Already. Been. Established. You. Muppet.

Still, the showering Amazonian decides to hold off slapping Joe for a while and instead explains to him why their tribe doesn’t let men walk around the temple freely…
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http://img818.imageshack.us/img818/8499/aggressivepeople.jpg

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I leave the temple (noticing that the entrance to the secret temple has been left wide open) and head out to give the orchid to Trader Slob because I have a great memory and distinctly remember him saying he needed to find a present for Naomi.

http://imageshack.us/a/img856/2489/gamefaqslogo.gif
Shut up!

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In return for the orchid, Trader Slob gives me a net.

I attempt to be cheeky by grabbing another net but to no avail…
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http://imageshack.us/a/img18/8887/takethatx.jpg
There’s no need for ‘Take That’, period.

I head off to use the net to grab the bottle of perfume floating in the piranha infested waters…
http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/5224/act5jpeg081.jpg

http://imageshack.us/a/img822/971/piranhab.jpg
“Oi, where’s our shrubbery?”
I also make use of the net by capturing the beetle…
http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/281/act5jpeg082.jpg

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I hand the perfume over to Naomi.

http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/7926/act5jpeg084.jpg
He sure is. Also, black is white and Hitler was an absolute darling.

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Well, whoopee-shit.

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Here I am, giving a sloth a haircut.

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Definition of 'Exciting' - Causing excitement, stirring, stimulating, Giving a three-toed sloth a perm.

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Not long ago, Joe was asking the missionary whether a sloth was a human. Now he’s suddenly David fucking Attenborough!

Now that I have the necessary ingredients for the potion (hair of a sloth and wasps), I make my way back to the Bitch Doctor...
http://img844.imageshack.us/img844/9126/act5jpeg091.jpg
Yeahhhh… I wouldn’t point the nuzzle of that vacuum at her, Joe. There’s around 50 seriously cheesed off wasps in there right now.

http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/8422/act5jpeg092.jpg
Great, I’m so very, very happy. Let’s all celebrate like it’s 1999 again. I’ll crack open a bottle of bubbly. At last, Bud’s knob-rot can be cured. Huzzah!

The Bitch Doctor starts mixing together the lotion and chanting…
http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/5707/act5jpeg093.jpg
I don’t even want to know what that is!

http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/1907/act5jpeg096.jpg
I take the lotion to Bud and attempt to hand it to him but it won’t work for some reason, so I try taking to him…

Only to find that the game has glitched and it doesn’t remember me already having talked to these two before, So I wade through the exact same conversation for the second time in a single playthrough…

http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/3802/46594716.jpg
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It also means having to listen to this line again…
http://img688.imageshack.us/img688/2623/68567599.jpg
GAHHHHHHH!!!!


Having entered the Twilight Zone and come back through the other side, I hand Bud the lotion…
http://img534.imageshack.us/img534/5746/act5jpeg099.jpg
"Now let’s never speak of this again."

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Great, I can go and buy myself an adventure game that’s actually halfway decent.

http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/7470/act5jpeg101.jpg
Well, that’s it for Part 5.

[Darth Marsden]

Awesomely awesome as always.

[Alcoremortis]

Can you die in this adventure game? I'm starting to feel that Joe needs an... accident to happen to him soon. Maybe then you'll get to play a new character who is actually halfway decent (not likely, but hope springs eternal).

[Secret Fawful]

Joe isn't wrong. Amazonian women don't exist. Those lying [bleep] are obviously frauds.

[Jennifer]

I'm pretty sure the writers meant the Amazon women from Greek myth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazons).

It's still funny though the way it's written, especially considering Joe has already met at least two women who live in the Amazon (the witch doctor and Naomi). :p

[puzzlebox]

Davies, this is awesome! Sat at my desk grinning the whole way through (I think my favourite part in this installment was Paul Hogan). Very much hope you manage to do Part 6 at some point!

[St_Eddie]

Hey all, I'm typing this post on my sister's computer and then I'll be disappearing again into the ether for a while...

Thanks so much for the kind comments as always, folks. :)

I've got some exciting (well exciting to myself at least) plans for the continuation of this Let's Play. It will be sometime until I'll have access to a computer to upload the next instalment but I'll be working on the gags and whatnot in the meantime.

I hope to catch up with you all within the next couple of months.

Take care all.

[Secret Fawful]

It's the DAVIES! A ballad for you, Davies.

Chorus: Davies!

Davies, have you always been alone?

Chorus: Davies!

Davies, have you never loved again?
Love will live on, oh oh oh...
Life must go on, oh oh oh...
For you cannot spend your life regretting.

Chorus: Davies!

Davies, you must face another day.

Chorus: Davies!

Davies, now your love has gone away.
Once you loved her, whoa-oh...
Now you've lost her, whoa-oh-oh-oh...
But you've lost her for-ever, Davies.

When there are clouds in the skies, and they are grey.
You may be sad but remember that love will pass away.

Oh Davies!
After the showers the sun
Will be shining...

[instrumental solo]

Once you loved her, whoa-oh...
Now you've lost her, whoa-oh-oh-oh...
But you've lost her for-ever, Davies.

When there are clouds in the skies, and they are grey.
You may be sad but remember that love will pass away.
Oh Davies!
After the showers the sun
Will be shining...
Davies!
Oh oh oh Davies!
You must go on,
Oh oh oh Davies...

[Jennifer]

I've got some exciting (well exciting to myself at least) plans for the continuation of this Let's Play. It will be sometime until I'll have access to a computer to upload the next instalment but I'll be working on the gags and whatnot in the meantime.
Can't wait. :D

[St_Eddie]

Hey all, Part 6 of this let's play is coming along quite nicely. I've done the hard work (playing through the next section of the game, taking screengrabs, reformatting them and uploading them to ImageShack).

Unfortunately there aren't too many opportunities for gags with the material given during this section of the game but I'll do my best and come up with something!

Part 6 will be uploaded by some point tomorrow...

[Darth Marsden]

Yays! Some good news at last!

[WarpSpeed]

Unfortunately there aren't too many opportunities for gags with the material given during this section of the game but I'll do my best and come up with something!

Oh, that's easy! Just keep putting this guy up every time there's a lull.

http://img853.imageshack.us/img853/9149/43317855.jpg

[St_Eddie]

Let’s Play ‘Flight of the Amazon Queen’
Part 6: ‘The Part That Comes After Part 5 But Before Part 7

http://imageshack.us/a/img690/6424/11370349.jpg
It’s time to make our way over to Floda Inc. The “lederhosen factory” that acts as a cover for the secret lab of Dr. Fruitloop and his crazy experiments. My mission is to gain entry and rescue Princess Azura.

http://imageshack.us/a/img641/7793/41211639.jpg
Before entering the main building, I attempt to access the shed to the left. Unfortunately the guard dog won’t allow me to pass. Such an original concept for an adventure game puzzle…

http://imageshack.us/a/img11/2820/monkeyislandpoodles.gif
…Like I said; original!

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Leaving the plagiaristic pooch for the time being, I enter the main facility.

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Inside the lobby of the main building, I walk up to the surly looking receptionist and ask for assistance.

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HEY! Don’t be so rude! That “fat guy” has a name you know! It’s ‘Trader Slob the Grotesque’ I’ll thank you to remember.

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The receptionist enquires as to whether I’m a fumigator that Floda Inc. is expecting. An Amazonian jungle fumigator service?! I bet the business is just raking in!

http://imageshack.us/a/img688/6893/amazonianfumigationserv.jpg

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Not one to miss an opportunity (unless that opportunity involves being a decent human being), Joe claims to be said fumigator in order to gain access to the staff area of the building. The plan works.

http://imageshack.us/a/img828/3149/610pk.jpg
You should have gone to SpecSavers, love. I ain’t carrying shit!

Before proceeding onwards, Joe spies a pencil on the receptionists desk and can’t resist making a quick joke…

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With his “joke” told and the sound of crickets still ringing in the air, Joe makes a hasty retreat through the door to the right…

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… Only to encounter a glitch in the sytem.

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”Joe, let me tell you about the matrix”

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Entering the kitchen, Joe is confronted by a chef. Luckily, a quick repeat of the “fumigator” line is enough to satisfy his curiosity.

http://imageshack.us/a/img842/2527/614s.jpg
The chef goes on to explain that he’s having trouble coming up with a meal for a member of staff who’s suffering from sensitive teeth. I hand the banana over from my inventory and explain its virtues…

http://imageshack.us/a/img811/1431/616ws.jpg
Joe could almost be describing the chef here. Well, sans the “low on calories” part.

The chef leaves the kitchen to go and deliver the banana. I’m sure that the hungry staff member will be absolutely thrilled with their meal when it arrives and won’t be disappointed at all that it consists of a solitary piece of fruit.

http://imageshack.us/a/img42/821/baldrickf.jpg
”Banana Surprise - the surprise is; there’s nothing in it except the banana”

http://imageshack.us/a/img802/3984/617ml.jpg
Quick question, why is the table and sink in front of Joe so damn big?! I guess it’s because the developers screwed up the scaling on this screen the sink is the latest model and has a new feature; it doubles up as a bath.

Anyway, before returning to the lobby in order to go through a different door, I grab a tin of dog food (which is sure to be useful for getting past the pooch outside). I also take some cheese snacks because hey, I like cheese snacks.

http://imageshack.us/a/img833/9855/618c.jpg
I enter the library and look at the grandfather clock, only to discover that Joe is apparently an expert on fraudulent antiques. This is sloppy writing on the developers part Antiques must have been his major at University I guess.

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Looking down the back of the coach, Joe discovers some cash.

http://imageshack.us/a/img703/4610/niceyp.jpg
”Nice”

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Um, say what, Joe? Just put the money in your pocket, you walking testicle! I simply don’t get it; are you afraid that you won’t be able to carry anymore than you already are? I mean, you’ll lug a fucking vacuum cleaner around half of the fucking Amazon jungle but a couple of coins?! ”Oh no, I couldn’t possibly fit those itsy bitsy little coins in my pocket”.

For fucks sakes, you’re in the process of infiltrating a madman’s lair; time is of the essence and yet you’re under the delusional impression that it’s a guarantee that you’ll just be able to stroll back at anytime you like to pick that money up. You’re a fucking gormless erection, Mr. King.

http://imageshack.us/a/img542/1883/621i.jpg
Reading GameFAQs reminds me that Looking at the record player in the room reminds me that there’s a record for sale at Trader Slob’s. I best go buy it…

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I severely doubt that the developers were aware of the irony regarding this remark considering that the background music playing in this location (and throughout most of the game) is essentially elevator muzak. The developers make a clever meta in-joke at this point in the game. It’s very witty.

http://imageshack.us/a/img802/4660/623l.jpg
I’m not sure that “like” is the right word.

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I return to the library at Floda Inc. and play the record, which in turn uncovers a secret elevator. Why was the specific record that’s required to reveal the elevator, up for sale at Trader Slob’s? Well, obviously an employee of Floda Inc. must have pawned the key that grants access to the underground laboratory in exchange for some beef jerky. Obviously.

http://imageshack.us/a/img52/1696/6252g.jpg
Before descending, I attempt to pick up the cash again (seeming as I’ve now spent some money at Trader Slob’s) and this time little Joey-Woahy obliges. The loveable, little cun…

…ning so-and-so.

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The elevator starts to descend, very slowly, down from the top of the screen…

http://imageshack.us/a/img694/3213/627xd.jpg
… and 30 seconds later it reaches the bottom of the screen. I shit you not, I timed it; 30 seconds just to get from one end of the screen to the other! THIRTY LONG, TEDIOUS, DRAWN-OUT SECONDS!

http://imageshack.us/a/img819/2818/628p.jpg
Thankfully, Joe is able to reach the bottom of the elevator shaft before dying of starvation. Actually, thinking about it I’m not so sure that I am all that thankful!

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I enter the first door in a long corridor and find myself in the sleeping quarters. I open a mail bag and find a literal ‘Dear John’ letter inside.

http://imageshack.us/a/img507/452/6303.jpg
Okay, what the heck is that object on top of the locker? It looks like you should be able to interact with it and yet you can’t! Odd.

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Inside the locker, Joe finds some kinky paraphernalia.

http://imageshack.us/a/img843/2028/6305v.jpg
Yeah, what the heck would a twisted pervert like you want with a bunch of S&M gear, Joe?!

Putting to one side Joe’s absolutely pathetic attempts to appear as a non-sexually perverse creep, I take a squeaky toy from the locker and continue down the main corridor and come across a guard…

http://imageshack.us/a/img197/272/631o.jpg
As Obnoxious as always honest as always, Joe.

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Hmm. Looks like we’ll need to find a way to distract the guard. I start by introducing myself…

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Oh! Well, that really taxed my brain cells. Clearly I must give the ‘Dear John’ letter to John.

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I hand the letter over to Johnny boy. Which is achieved by a conversational option which appears automatically, as if the puzzle wasn’t already easy enough!

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Who are you kidding, John?! You don't have a girlfriend. It's a letter from your Grandma and you know it.

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Well, old Grandma does needs her meds.

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Joe enters the now unguarded room leaving John in tears.

http://imageshack.us/a/img543/2851/fruitloopneedsyou.jpg
”Are you a wimpy little chicken wuss who bawls their eyes out on a regular basis?
Are you neglectful of vital duties whilst working?
Would you enjoy working for an insane old fucker who says “nyah ha ha haar” after every sentence?
DR. FRUITLOOP NEEDS YOU"

http://imageshack.us/a/img535/986/629h.jpg
Moving on, I enter the “crate room” from the ending of ’Raiders of the Lost Ark.

http://imageshack.us/a/img18/381/raidersofthelostarkware.jpg
The one and only time this setting has been used within an Indiana Jones movie. Shhh! I said ONE and ONLY!

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What do I find inside one of the crates? The Ark of the Covenant perhaps? …No, a sodding left-handed tin opener. Oh well, at least it wasn’t some stupid, out of place alien. Sorry… interdimensional being!

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Entering another room, I come across a staff roaster and duly make a mental note of the details. Fun times.

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In the next room I move a cabinet to reveal safe, which I can’t open yet. Oh, such fun..

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Moving on, I’m halted by this guard.

http://imageshack.us/a/img706/3753/641xz.jpg
Using the knowledge of the roaster to my advantage, I send the guard off to the kitchen to report to Colonel Jackson.

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Oh, I won’t…

1 MINUTE LATER…
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A cutscene kicks in as I leave the room.

http://imageshack.us/a/img109/1649/646v.jpg
Dr. Fruitloop! Yay!

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The doc is watching a small dinosaur work it’s way through a maze as it tries to find a piece of cheese.

http://imageshack.us/a/img198/7948/dinoj.jpg
Dinosaurs; well known for being partial to a bit of cheddar

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Mice; feared for their craving of flesh

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That terrible cad, Anderson enters the room. I’m assuming that he’s in league with Dr. Fruitloop but I honestly can’t remember if this was ever revealed earlier on in the game or not! I’m almost certain that it wasn’t. Hmm.

http://imageshack.us/a/img585/5209/649t.jpg
Ohhh, I know, I know! It’s a Dino Rat.

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See told you.

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Ah, smug mode engaged

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The Dino Rat certainly makes for a less scary hybrid than Dr. Fruitloop’s first genetic experiment…

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Part woman. Part horse. All nightmare

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The Dino Rat scarpers off. No doubt ravenous for more cheesy goodness.

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Absolutely. After all, the guards in this facility are the truly the crème de la crème…

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Oh, right

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…”and is sure to be the number one kid’s toy this Christmas.”

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Dr. Fruitloop starts to explain a painful memory from his past.

http://imageshack.us/a/img52/9233/657f.jpg
When they laughed at you did they say “nyah ha ha haar”?

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The cutscene ends and we return to Joe, who has now entered a new room and is examining a poster detailing Dr Fruitloop’s master plan. For a master plan, it’s not very masterful is it?!

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I spy a book sat on the table and attempt to open it but alas, it’s locked.

http://imageshack.us/a/img59/5544/660vj.jpg
Not to worry though, a quick shimmy with my knife soon opens up the tome, revealing a hidden key inside.

http://imageshack.us/a/img339/5453/booksecretcompartment.jpg
Apparently Dr. Fruitloop’s security measures are equal to those of a 7 year old child.

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I leave the room and head towards a fire exit.

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Inside the next area is an empty vial that once contained ‘Super Soldier Serum’. I guess that Dr. Fruitloop also names his serums after children’s playthings. Being that it’s empty I leave it be.

http://imageshack.us/a/img854/9902/663zh.jpg
However, there is a full vial of the antidote for super soldier serum. Because this is an adventure game and it’s not nailed down, I take it and go up stairs to the right.

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Upon entering this room, my first thought isn’t “ah ha! It’s Princess Azura, the woman I came to rescue” but rather “the fire exit leads to a fucking dead end! What incredible health and Safety practices!”

http://imageshack.us/a/img198/8926/665r.jpg

http://imageshack.us/a/img594/3295/annoyingfan.jpg
”By Azura, by Azura, by Azura. It’s the Princess! I can’t believe it’s you! Standing here! Next to me!”

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Joe tells the Princess that he’s the fumigator. Um, why lie, Joe? You fucking dolt!

http://imageshack.us/a/img811/5728/667lx.jpg
Woah! A ‘Star Wars’ reference! That’s so out there. How do the developers come up with this stuff?

http://imageshack.us/a/img835/9070/668y.jpg
In the process of continuing the tired awesome ‘Star Wars’ reference, Joe comes clean with his true identity. He’s still a fucking dolt though.

http://imageshack.us/a/img856/3171/669r.jpg
Let me guess, Joe; along with Amazonian women, you don’t believe in Princesses? Anyway, I proceed to ask about Dr. Fruitloop…

http://imageshack.us/a/img594/3523/670rm.jpg
Go on...

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Well, you sure seem awfully happy about it!

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I get bored of the conversation and initiate another game of ‘nip rubs’ with my mouse cursor.

Oh, those nips. Those lovely little nips.
I’d like to eat them up, like a pair of delicious pips.
As I rub them with my mouse;
I start to feel like a louse.
Think my penis is going to need a serious douse.

*AHEM*

http://imageshack.us/a/img839/9425/674s.jpg
Now that I have finished with your nips… I shall.

http://imageshack.us/a/img202/6523/676ul.jpg
I look at the cabinet to the left but Joe informs me that it’s locked.

http://imageshack.us/a/img843/2655/677j.jpg
However, I can open it without any problems even though it’s “locked”.

http://imageshack.us/a/img411/6574/678cu.jpg
I use the key that I found in the book to open the cell door.

http://imageshack.us/a/img593/7365/679jj.jpg
Damn straight.

http://imageshack.us/a/img205/8186/680k.jpg
Azura gives Joe a quick peck on cheek.

http://imageshack.us/a/img251/3550/681en.jpg
That’s not enough for Mr. Rapist King though…

http://imageshack.us/a/img689/4396/682w.jpg
Joe pushes royalty over and goes in for the kill. He shoves his tongue down her throat until he can taste her breakfast.

http://imageshack.us/a/img812/926/683hw.jpg
Look at the terror on her face! This is sick!

http://imageshack.us/a/img547/8899/684w.jpg

http://imageshack.us/a/img855/2373/685bj.jpg
I wouldn’t worry about Joe, Sparky. He is a jungle beast; he’s a sexual predator and he currently has his prey pinned down.

http://imageshack.us/a/img708/9125/686zu.jpg
Uhhh. Apparently she likes it!

Things That Every Woman Loves
* Chocalotes
* Flowers
* Puppies
* Being raped by a creep-a-zoid

http://imageshack.us/a/img163/6288/687qb.jpg

http://imageshack.us/a/img811/1556/688is.jpg
As the twosome attempt to make their escape; the alarm is sounded and the exit sealed.

http://imageshack.us/a/img805/7074/689l.jpg
Ooohhhh, cliffhanger. Seems like a good place to save…

http://imageshack.us/a/img822/4383/690m.jpg

Well, that’s it for Part 6.

[Jennifer]

Quick question, why is the table and sink in front of Joe so damn big?! I guess it’s because the developers screwed up the scaling on this screen the sink is the latest model and as a new feature; it doubles up as a bath.
Heh, now I'll never be able to see that screen in the same way again. :p

As you pointed out, the developers were obviously trying to do art in perspective, like LucasArts and Sierra often did with their art. Except in those games, the objects in front of the camera that appeared larger (as if to imply that they were closer to the "lens") were up and out of the reach of the main character (since the characters never walked near the "camera" (else they'd have to scale in size too as they got closer). It really doesn't work when the object is directly in front of the main character, and especially doesn't work when it contains an object that is meant to be picked up.

It's actually a good lesson of what not to do. I remember when I was a child, I always thought that it was a waste of space to not be able to interact with those kinds of objects. Now, I know better in that it's purely aesthetic and having them be interact-able (other than "look" of course), ruins the perspective of the whole thing.

[puzzlebox]

Perfect timing for my Friday afternoon! I lol'ed pretty hard at the "Don't touch anything / 1 minute later" part (yeah, I'm a total juvenile). Again, thanks for continuing with these - I really enjoy them!

[WarpSpeed]

Yeah, they probably didn't even notice the princess escaped yet, but when they saw that room and the missing Cheeze Bitz.....

[Alcoremortis]

Perfect timing for my Friday afternoon! I lol'ed pretty hard at the "Don't touch anything / 1 minute later" part (yeah, I'm a total juvenile). Again, thanks for continuing with these - I really enjoy them!

I laughed pretty hard at that as well.

Davies, I'm electing not to believe your claims that this episode was not going to be as funny as the others. Or believe it only if you were referring to the fact that somehow it got funnier. Well done, good sir.

[St_Eddie]

Hey all, I've just finished updating Part 6 (I've been working on it for the last 20 minutes). I initially posted it in a rough, work-in-progress' state. Some of you may want to reread it, I've made quite a few changes and I think that it's much better now. Sorry for the inconvenience, folks.

It's actually a good lesson of what not to do. I remember when I was a child, I always thought that it was a waste of space to not be able to interact with those kinds of objects. Now, I know better in that it's purely aesthetic and having them be interact-able (other than "look" of course), ruins the perspective of the whole thing.

You're right, it really is a good lesson of what not to do. It's a case of mis-communication between artists and programmers.

Perfect timing for my Friday afternoon! I lol'ed pretty hard at the "Don't touch anything / 1 minute later" part (yeah, I'm a total juvenile). Again, thanks for continuing with these - I really enjoy them!

Aw, thanks. That joke was very much a last minute idea I had when trying to flesh out this part with some actual gags! My first "draft" of Part 6 that I wrote a few days ago was god-awful! I'm so pleased and relieved that you liked it.

Yeah, they probably didn't even notice the princess escaped yet, but when they saw that room and the missing Cheeze Bitz.....

Gotta love 'em Cheeze Bitz!

I laughed pretty hard at that as well.

Thank you so much. :)

Davies, I'm electing not to believe your claims that this episode was not going to be as funny as the others. Or believe it only if you were referring to the fact that somehow it got funnier. Well done, good sir.

Aw, shucks. Thank you kindly. However, if you put gags to one side and look at this section of the let's play in terms of it's actual gameplay; there really aren't a great deal of opportunities to make jokes. Heck, even the 'Dr. Ironstein' cutscene was virtually dry of material to poke fun at! Usually those parts are a hoot to write for.

It was hard work getting this part done but hopefully the next section of the game offers up a few more opportunities in the piss taking department.

[Darth Marsden]

That was amazing. Very much made my morning.

Here's hoping there's not as long a wait for the next part!

[St_Eddie]

Important News Regarding This Let's Play

On the subject of the continuation of this let's play; I'm worried about the future of this forum (will this let's play be deleted once the switchover to the new layout occurs? Will this style of let's play even function correctly under the new layout?). It is with this in mind that I can announce my plans to start up my own website, which will be devoted to my own unique brand of let's plays.

The 'Flight of the Amazon Queen' let's play will be transferred over to my site and concluded. I will then continue to do let's plays of multiple games (certainly adventure games but possibly also different genres). It's going to take quite some time (read: months) for me to get things sorted (buying web space, an address and setting up the layout etc.) but over the last few days I've been backing up the previous parts of this current let's play, for transfer to my eventual site.

I truly hope that you will all visit my site once I get get things up and running. Without all of your support, I would have no interest in doing these let's plays but you all make it more than worthwhile.

Thanks, folks.

That was amazing. Very much made my morning.

Thankski verski muchski budski.

As long as yourself and others are enjoying this let's play and leaving positive feedback, I'll keep making new installments.

Here's hoping there's not as long a wait for the next part!

I'm afraid there will be. I'm returning back home to my flat tomorrow and will have to bid you all farewell for a few more months. Rest assured though, that there will be a Part 7. I've committed myself to finishing this game, come hell or high water!

[Jennifer]

On the subject of the continuation of this let's play; I'm worried about the future of this forum (will this let's play be deleted once the switchover to the new layout occurs? Will this style of let's play even function correctly under the new layout?).
The posts from these forums will be transferred over (the beta forum that was open to everyone that didn't transfer any new posts was just a test to see how the forum would handle new accounts).

Posts with lots of images do work, it just required a different markup language than BBCode. The Telltale web staff is still working on the forum software, so hopefully they'll take the suggestions from the beta forum into suggestion and use BBCode instead. It would make the transition a lot smoother (that and getting rid of threaded posts, obviously [I don't think anyone who posted their thoughts about the beta forum liked those]).

I truly hope that you will all visit my site once I get get things up and running. Without all of your support, I would have no interest in doing these let's plays but you all make it more than worthwhile.
If you build it, they will come. :p (I will at least :))

[Darth Marsden]

Count me in.

Well, since you're putting the next section on pause, I guess I'll have to fill the void... again. Slacker. :p

[Alcoremortis]

I will come to visit your site. I'm very curious as to whether Joe will make inappropriate advances on a lady dino before the end of the game.

[St_Eddie]

If you build it, they will come. :p (I will at least :))

Count me in.

I will come to visit your site.

Thank you, all. That's fantastic to hear. :)

Any suggestions (even though it's early days) for the next adventure game that I should do a let's play of? I'd rather keep it to a ScummVM compatible game for the time being (as I'm used to the process of taking screengrabs via that particular emulator) and it has to be something that lends itself to being able to poke fun at (something that's already highly comedic in nature is entirely unsuitable for this treatment; so that's 'Sam & Max', 'Day of the Tentacle', 'Monkey Island' and it's ilk out of the window).

Perhaps 'Loom' or a 'King's Quest' game?

Oh and by the way; I'll be running a 'CREDITS' section once I complete this let's play and I'll be giving special thanks to those who've been following this thread (plus, a little extra 'special, special thanks' to one particular person...)!

[Darth Marsden]

The problem with games running using ScummVM is that most of them are either pretty good or are fairly well known. Not saying that's a bad thing, just that it's stuff that's been covered before, unlike FotAQ, which is fairly new to most of us, which is part of why we're enjoying it so much (the other main reason being your brilliant commentary).

I don't know if Police Quest uses ScummVM, but the level of OCD you need to be able to get ANYWHERE in it would make it ripe for a Let's Play. At one point you can die if you don't check all four tires of a car before driving it.

Outside of ScummVM, there's some pretty awful free Adventure Game Studio-made games you could try, if you want to be really out there.

Otherwise, I've heard bad things about Jazz & Faust, and I distinctly remember a game from my childhood called Chewy: Esc from F5 that wasn't particularly good. If you don't want to tackle it, then I will (at some point).

Other games I know nothing about but don't appear to be very good: Liath, Escape from Delirium, Tlon, Return to Rama, Urban Runner, Dare to Dream, A Fork in the Tale (with Rob Schneider!), Fenimore Filmore's Revenge, and Simon the Sorcerer 3D.

Wait a minute...

[St_Eddie]

The problem with games running using ScummVM is that most of them are either pretty good or are fairly well known. Not saying that's a bad thing, just that it's stuff that's been covered before, unlike FotAQ, which is fairly new to most of us, which is part of why we're enjoying it so much (the other main reason being your brilliant commentary).

You raise a good point about the majority of games that run under ScummVM and you also gave some great suggestions there. In fact, I think that I've found my next game to tackle thanks to you; 'Police Quest' (which handily does run under ScummVM). I've completed it before and enjoyed it (in spite of it's insanely anal nature) and wouldn't mind replaying it. I may as well use it as a let's play and take the piss out of it if I'm going to replay it anyway.

As for the other titles you mentioned; I won't cover AGS titles because it wouldn't be fair or right to rip into an indie game that was made for the love of it (and not for profit) but the remaining titles; I'll keep them in mind for after 'Police Quest'. Many thanks.

[Darth Marsden]

Well, looking forward to Police Quest. I've heard... things.

Fair point about AGS games though. Just thought I'd throw it out there - some really are quite bad.

[corruptbiggins]

As I don't see any problems with doing this to a good or at least decent game I'd like to see your take on some Revolution titles, like Lure of the Temptress and Beneath a Steel Sky.

If you want a not so good game then maybe something like the Feeble Files.

[St_Eddie]

As I don't see any problems with doing this to a good or at least decent game I'd like to see your take on some Revolution titles, like Lure of the Temptress and Beneath a Steel Sky.

Just to clarify (because it does worry me a little bit that people might misinterpret my feelings on the matter); I do think that 'Flight of the Amazon Queen' is a good game. It's undeniably flawed but overall it's a title that holds a place in my heart. The angry, piss taking nature of my let's plays is mostly facetious and at worst, exaggerated for humorous effect.

I just wanted to make that clear, I would hate for somebody who worked on the game to read my let's play and get the wrong idea!

Having got that out of the way; 'Beneath a Steel Sky' is a marvelous suggestion for a future let's play. There's plenty of moments throughout that game that are just ripe for milking comedy gold!

[Secret Fawful]

Lots of wrong here. AGS has produced some of the best adventure games of the past decade. There might be some bad ones, but most of them at least try new things. I can probably name two dozen professional quality ones.

I'm probably one of the only peoples there currently just running off of pure nostalgia as a dev.

I was doing an Escape From Delirium LP, but I'm not particularly funny or patient, so I think you should tackle that at some point. It has a meaningless appearance by Saddam Hussein hijacking a plane, gutting and eviscerating a man's intestines on a pike just to make someone pass out with the intention of being funny (beat that Simon), and the worst plot, graphics, and puzzles I have ever seen....ever.

[St_Eddie]

Lots of wrong here. AGS has produced some of the best adventure games of the past decade. There might be some bad ones, but most of them at least try new things. I can probably name two dozen professional quality ones.

But... no-one was ever denying that. Darth Marsden was simply saying that there are bad AGS games. He didn't say that there aren't any good ones.

I think that we're all aware that it's not about the tools, it's about the artists who use them.

I was doing an Escape From Delirium LP, but I'm not particularly funny or patient, so I think you should tackle that at some point. It has a meaningless appearance by Saddam Hussein hijacking a plane, gutting and eviscerating a man's intestines on a pike just to make someone pass out with the intention of being funny (beat that Simon), and the worst plot, graphics, and puzzles I have ever seen....ever.

Thanks for the tip. I've added it to the list. ;)

[Secret Fawful]

I didn't take it that way, so much as just being annoyed at how easy it is for people to pick on AGS projects in general.

[flesk]

On the subject of the continuation of this let's play; I'm worried about the future of this forum (will this let's play be deleted once the switchover to the new layout occurs? Will this style of let's play even function correctly under the new layout?). It is with this in mind that I can announce my plans to start up my own website, which will be devoted to my own unique brand of let's plays.

There's also been some talk about regulars abandoning these forums, so that sounds like a good idea regardless of how the switchover will turn out. I love this let's play so I'm glad to hear you have plans for the continuation even if it might take a while.

I actually laughed out loud several times while reading the latest part, so it's still pure gold even if it was harder to make something funny out of it this time. Good catch on the dead end fire exit. :) It never struck me as odd while playing through the game. The fumigator, restricted area after shot and the graphical glitches stabs were hilarous.

I second the BaSS suggestion by the way. I thought of it earlier while reading on my phone and saw it had been suggested when I came back now.

[St_Eddie]

I didn't take it that way, so much as just being annoyed at how easy it is for people to pick on AGS projects in general.

Aye, that's fair enough and agreed upon in that sense. I've got nothing but respect for anyone who takes the time to do something creative off their own back for free (regardless of the final result).

There's also been some talk about regulars abandoning these forums, so that sounds like a good idea regardless of how the switchover will turn out. I love this let's play so I'm glad to hear you have plans for the continuation even if it might take a while.

Yeah, I'm going to make my own website regardless of how things turn out on this forum. I think that it'll also help me to attract more readers that way.

I actually laughed out loud several times while reading the latest part, so it's still pure gold even if it was harder to make something funny out of it this time. Good catch on the dead end fire exit. :) It never struck me as odd while playing through the game. The fumigator, restricted area after shot and the graphical glitches stabs were hilarous.

Thank you very much for the kind feedback. It's appreciated. :)

I second the BaSS suggestion by the way. I thought of it earlier while reading on my phone and saw it had been suggested when I came back now.

Duly noted. :D

[Jennifer]

If you want a not so good game then maybe something like the Feeble Files.
Feeble Files was a good game. It's just that the interface was pretty terrible.

[Darth Marsden]

Feeble Files was a good game.Having played it, that's... debatable.

And for the record, Eddie was right. I wasn't damming ALL AGS games. I'm a big fan of the Ben Jordan series, for example, and there's plenty of good games out there made with it. But you can't deny that some of them are... sketchy.

[Vainamoinen]

I just googled a bit and accidentally found out who the German voice of trader Bob was. *shock*... and, yeah, most of you have heard the actor's name before, I promise. :D

[flesk]

Are you saying it's Hitler? Or Horst Tappert maybe?

[Darth Marsden]

I tried Googling it and came up empty, which is rare. I thought Google knew everything.

Go on, put us out of our misery Vain.

[Vainamoinen]

Austrian... two Oscars.

[Jennifer]

Christoph Waltz?

[Vainamoinen]

YES! :eek:

[flesk]

I was pretty close then. Nazi Führer plus Kriminalpolizei roughly equals SS Offizier, which he played in Inglorious Basterds. He got an Oscar for that and... Der Humpink?

[Alcoremortis]

I don't know if this is a real question or not as I'm kinda falling asleep, but it was for Dr. King Shultz in Django. He just got it.

[Vainamoinen]

I'm still in shock considering that flesk knew who Horst Tappert was. I mean, I barely do.

[flesk]

I don't know if this is a real question or not as I'm kinda falling asleep, but it was for Dr. King Shultz in Django. He just got it.

It wasn't a real question, but the guy's seriously talented. Pretty amazing that he's got trader Bob on his CV.

I'm still in shock considering that flesk knew who Horst Tappert was. I mean, I barely do.

Derrick used to be really popular in Norway. In fact it's still broadcast on NRK, the government-owned Norwegian TV channel. Horst Tappert also used to figure a lot on the front of celebrity magazines, since he liked to spend his summers here. Plus, we often watched episodes of Derrick in class when I studied German.

[Alcoremortis]

Sorry. As I said, half asleep. Makes it harder for me to detect levity and facetiousness.

[Vainamoinen]

Hey! I know one of these words!

[Alcoremortis]

Well, then you probably know both of them, because they're a pleonasm. Kinda.