Dungeonman's Quest!

[Compy 386]

YOU ARE RATHER DUNGEONMAN, DESPERATELY TRYING TO BECOME THY DUNGEONMAN. YOU HAVE BECOME A PIXILATED PEASANT, BUT THAT WILL NOT HINDER YOUR QUEST.

YOU MOVE BY TYPING "UP", "DOWN", "LEFT", OR "RIGHT". YOU MAY PLAY (WITHOUT GRAPHIX:p) NOW.

[Mouldcube]

are we allowed to type more than one command? if so:
> up, up, left, up, right, up, left, left, down.
if not:
> up

[Compy 386]

YOU GO UP.
TO SEE YOUR SURROUNDINGS, TYPE "look".

[Mouldcube]

> look
do we still need the >?

[Compy 386]

> look
do we still need the >?

You probably WISH you didn't have to need that.
Anyways, you see a big INN nearby. It's a pretty retro inn, though, it still is using "Thy Dungeonman" grammer- outside you can see various items that you may/may not/cannot use/get.

One is labeled "Ye Olde Crate", another "Ye Olde Box" and... "Ye Olde Flask"?!?

That last one's clearly mismarked. It should read just plain olde "ye flask".

[Compy 386]

FAULT!

Sorry about that. You playing this game, or do you not want to raid and pillage the inn?

[Mouldcube]

> get "ye olde package" which contains "ye flask"

[Compy 386]

> get "ye olde package" which contains "ye flask"

You try, but you can't get ye flask anymore. Besides, it was thy flask that got you here in the first plance.

In short, you can't get ye flask.

[Mouldcube]

> cry ye olde eyes out.

[SidGarcia]

> Raid and pillage the inn

[Compy 386]

> cry ye olde eyes out.
You cry for 8 hours until your eyes force you to stop. That was fun!
> Raid and pillage the inn
You approach the door and- what the?!? Oh, great. It has a sign that says: "MUST WEAR SHIRT AND SHOES". No way are you putting on Peasant shoes, man! It killed you to put on the short shorts!

[Mouldcube]

> put on ye huge boots instead.

[Compy 386]

> put on ye huge boots instead.

What boots?

[antirikurox]

> buy ye huge boots

> wear ye huge boots

> raid and pillage ye olde inn

[Compy 386]

> buy ye huge boots

> wear ye huge boots

> raid and pillage ye olde inn

Umm... no.

FAULT!

If you want to raid and pillage the inn, get that frweakin' sign outta the way! Did you sleep through law school?

[antirikurox]

> take that frweakin' sign out of the way

> raid and pillage the inn

[Mouldcube]

> use ye power of thou's imagination to set ye inn on fire

[Compy 386]

> use ye power of thou's imagination to set ye inn on fire

Errrghhtt... grrrr... ugh. Nope, didn't work.

> take that frweakin' sign out of the way

> raid and pillage the inn

You grab the sign, and keep it, for you never know when you'll need to get some shirtless or shoeless or shirtshoeless guy out of the way.

The inn had some Old Man Rub, some Riches, aand a bwa Lantern, which you used to set the inn on fire.

Which was kinda cool.

[Mouldcube]

> laugh at ye burning inn, and eat thy steak that thou stole...and didn't mention.

[Compy 386]

> laugh at ye burning inn, and eat thy steak that thou stole...and didn't mention.

"Ha! Ha!"

You probably WISH you could eat that.

And stop using "ye olde"-type language. Get wit' da times, Gramps!:cool:

[Mouldcube]

thou did this to me, thou put thy curse of ye olde language on me.
> look around ye burning remains.

[Compy 386]

thou did this to me, thou put thy curse of ye olde language on me.
> look around ye burning remains.

Bwahahaha! >: )

There really isn't much to see. Kinda looks like Rather Dashing's place.

[antirikurox]

> see if rather dashing knows why you are in the peasant's quest game

[Compy 386]

> see if rather dashing knows why you are in the peasant's quest game

NO MAN! JEEZ! LEAVE HiM ALONE!

[Mouldcube]

> jump back into thou's own game.

[Compy 386]

> jump back into thou's own game.

Looks like you cannot inter-game juuump...!

[Mouldcube]

> grabbeth nearest object.
then
> cureth my olde language problem.

[Compy 386]

> grabbeth nearest object.
then
> cureth my olde language problem.

You see some pebbles and grab 'em.

To fix your language problem, we've changed our system's font to a more modern look. Enjoy.

[Mouldcube]

#4
> grab farthest object.

[Compy 386]

#4
> grab farthest object.

Are you THAT bored?!? Do some questing already!!!

[Mouldcube]

> ask if there's any quests that involve cold stares.

[Compy 386]

> ask if there's any quests that involve cold stares.

>_>

[Mouldcube]

> ask if there are any quests that involve TEPID stares.

[Compy 386]

> ask if there are any quests that involve TEPID stares.

No. Just let go. Let it go.

LET GO!

e_e I'm about ready to shut this thing down.

[Mouldcube]

e_e I'm about ready to shut this thing down.

meaning???
> put pebbles in bucket.

[Compy 386]

meaning???
> put pebbles in bucket.

You put da pebbles in da bucket.
It drops down.
Yay.

[antirikurox]

> throw baby in the well (we don't have the baby yet!)

[Mouldcube]

> throw baby...when you have it.
in the mean time:
> find baby.

[Compy 386]

> throw baby...when you have it.
in the mean time:
> find baby.

You don't even have 2 babies to rub together.

(Hint: This place is dead. Remeber the controls? Well, use 'em!)

[Mouldcube]

> down
or:
> left
or:
> right
or:
> up
or even:
> fly

[Compy 386]

> down
or:
> left
or:
> right
or:
> up
or even:
> fly

Hugo left. So you go left.

>look

You're at the lake. It looks pretty noice.
There's an abandoned boat with a fishing pole in it on the shore.

[Mouldcube]

> down.
then:
> open door.
then:
> take chicken feed.

[Compy 386]

> down.
then:
> open door.
then:
> take chicken feed.

The house is cleaned out of feed.

Rather Dashing was such a crook.

[Mouldcube]

> take rocking chair

[Compy 386]

> take rocking chair

It won't fit in your short shorts.

[Mouldcube]

> exit house.
then:
> get berries
then:
> get berries
then:
> get berries
then:
> get berries
then:
> EAT BERRIES!

[Compy 386]

> exit house.
then:
> get berries
then:
> get berries
then:
> get berries
then:
> get berries
then:
> EAT BERRIES!

Uh-oh, them berries were poisonous! You dead. Thanks for playing.

GAME OVER

CONTINUE?

[Mouldcube]

> continue, but ignoring any rules about saving, so you start in front of the bushes.
then:
>save

[Compy 386]

> continue, but ignoring any rules about saving, so you start in front of the bushes.
then:
>save

:p You start in the house.

And, umm... you need to save in drive 1,2, or 3.

[Mouldcube]

> save in drive 1...and 2...and 3, just to be safe...and 4.

[Compy 386]

> save in drive 1...and 2...and 3, just to be safe...and 4.

But you're at an auto save! It's unethical! And your cookies are disabled!

[Mouldcube]

no, not disabled, just eaten.
> up
then:
> tell fishing man that you burnt down the inn.

[Compy 386]

no, not disabled, just eaten.
> up
then:
> tell fishing man that you burnt down the inn.

He faints and sinks into the water. He swiftly drowns, saying something about irony. Oh, well. You, erm, inherit
his boat.

[Mouldcube]

> sail to unexplored area of peasentry.
or, if no areas available to explore:
>find and make faces at kerrek.

[Compy 386]

> sail to unexplored area of peasentry.
or, if no areas available to explore:
>find and make faces at kerrek.

It's just a lake, Chris Columb.

The Kerrek thinks you're paying respect to him for some reason, and as a reward, he lets you go and continues on his way.

Weird.

[Mouldcube]

> steal riches.

[Compy 386]

> steal riches.

I see no riches or Riches. Sorry.

[Mouldcube]

> go see gary, and then put on mask.

[Compy 386]

> go see gary, and then put on mask.

No. Rath got arrowed for that once. Kicked, too.

One warning.

Don't do it.

Seriously.

No foolin'.

[Mouldcube]

> go up the path to trogdor.

[Compy 386]

Your patience wavers, and you begin to bore.

Boredom bores into your skull.

You feel so alone.

You quickly save your game to 1 and collaspe of remaining stationary for so long.

Why you were stationary is unknown.


Game Over

[Mouldcube]

> wonder why you became bored, as you have just invented monopoly.

[Compy 386]

> wonder why you became bored, as you have just invented monopoly.

:confused:
:confused:
:confused:


:confused:
:confused:


:confused:

[Mouldcube]

huh, every time you log off, you miss something. typical.

> find someone to give you a hint.

[Compy 386]

huh, every time you log off, you miss something. typical.

> find someone to give you a hint.

Wha-

AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DONE FOR YOU?!?

FEIND!

[Mouldcube]

> ask what you HAVE done for me (heehee).

[Compy 386]

> ask what you HAVE done for me (heehee).

I ended your game.


Game Over!!!

[Mouldcube]

> load save file 1

[Compy 386]

> load save file 1

What the- hey! It's an old Thy Dungeonman game save! Do you want to leave now or later?
(Y/N?)

[StinkomanFan]

>Nes

[Mouldcube]

> SNES! No, Wii!

[Compy 386]

>nes

> snes! No, wii!

s-SUPER SCOPE 6!!!

[StinkomanFan]

>Yo (Yes and no combined)

[Mouldcube]

> maybe

[Guy in a Box]

>Answer hazy, Ask again later

[Mouldcube]

> let's just speed this up and say Y.

[Compy 386]

>Yo (Yes and no combined)

> maybe

>Answer hazy, Ask again later

Coach Z Guy in a Box, Mouldcube, and StinkomanFan, you jerks!
Coach Z Guy in a Box, Mouldcube, and StinkomanFan, you jerks!
Coach Z Guy in a Box, Mouldcube, and StinkomanFan, you jerks!
Coach Z Guy in a Box, Mouldcube, and StinkomanFan, you jerks!
Coach Z Guy in a Box, Mouldcube, and StinkomanFan, you jerks!
Coach Z Guy in a Box, Mouldcube, and StinkomanFan, you jerks!
Coach Z Guy in a Box, Mouldcube, and StinkomanFan, you jerks!
Coach Z Guy in a Box, Mouldcube, and StinkomanFan, you jerks!
Coach Z Guy in a Box, Mouldcube, and StinkomanFan, you jerks!

[Guy in a Box]

>Y, apparently

[Compy 386]

Oh, so NOW you say Y? Now that I've insulted you? Well, you know what? I'ma go take this TD game and...



DELORTED!

ER,

DELETED!!

[Mouldcube]

I said Y before you insulted me.
*sob*

[Compy 386]

I said Y before you insulted me.
*sob*

Come, now. Don't get discouraged.

[Mouldcube]

anyway...*ahem*...
Y!!!!!!!

[Compy 386]

anyway...*ahem*...
Y!!!!!!!

Too late.

[Guy in a Box]

Okay then...N?

[Mouldcube]

Semi-colon!

[Compy 386]

Semi-colon!

a>;
SHORTCUT TO:
dsfasdcxvzxcvakw~uyetraoiw.exe
asdfjkhplodeded~edeafksfhasdf.if
sdfgsiueraoiuyoiuyqwer.exe

SYSTEM ERROR

ACTIVATING
NOWLOOKWHATYOUDIDYOUMORON~.EXE

...

INEFFECTIVE

DRIVE d:// HAS TERMINATED

GOD SAVE US ALL

ACTIVATING BSoD.EXE

402

*the computer ASPLODE*

[Mouldcube]

umm, does this mean the game really has ended?
if not:
> ert++hhj&*@jke2445$"$!*~@{>Lhgeichn!*jdg%o58g& TIMES 10

[Compy 386]

*Temporary game. Try to fix the computer.*

[Mouldcube]

what?
> make sense.

[SidGarcia]

>Call tech-support

[Ray-The-Sun]

> Get a new Compy.

[Compy 386]

what?
> make sense.
Never.

>Call tech-support
They say you broke it real bad. You're gonna have to get a new one.

> Get a new Compy.
Like how?

[SidGarcia]

>Swear at tech-support
>Try to find a Compy store

[Mouldcube]

> go to www.wedefinitelysellcompysyessiree.org.uk.com.some morestuff/buyonenow.

[Compy 386]

>Swear at tech-support
>Try to find a Compy store
No swearing. *slap*
> go to www.wedefinitelysellcompysyessiree.org.uk.com.some morestuff/buyonenow.
HahahaNO.

[Mouldcube]

> make your own computer out of paper clips and grass

[SidGarcia]

Ouch!
>Ask Mr. Fixit to fix it
>Learn how to do magic
>Repair Compy with magic

[Compy 386]

> make your own computer out of paper clips and grass

It doesn't work. It need power.

Ouch!
>Ask Mr. Fixit to fix it

He's busy with something. Never you mind.


>Learn how to do magic
>Repair Compy with magic

Not even magic could fix this hunk of junk.

Meh, you guys need a hint?

[Snicklin]

> Swallow it whole!!!

[Mouldcube]

> type "fix computer"

[Ray-The-Sun]

> Buy a "Gamey-1337", The greatest moderately priced gaming computer EVER!

[metalkombat]

>Look around sulkily for a bit, then ask for "hint".

[Compy 386]

>Look around sulkily for a bit, then ask for "hint".

Here's your hint-

CHECK YOUR MAILBOX!!!!!

[Compy 386]

> Swallow it whole!!!
OK.
...
... what next, wiseguy?

> type "fix computer"

Like how? That hunk of junk is not worth the $389,000,234,984,214.98 stomach-ectomy. No way.

[gingerale]

> yell xyzzy

[Compy 386]

> yell xyzzy

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... -no.

[Compy 386]

Alright, I’ll do it for you.

>CHECK MAIL

Ooh, there’s something in it!
755
Awesome, now you can buy a new computer! Let’s see…

756
Are you constantly angry at your home or office computer? Do you sometimes want to just throw your computer through the window? Then do we have a computer for you! The Breaky 387 is a marvel in both office safety, and anger management! It comes with its own built-in keyboard, and a free broken coffee mug thrown at it in at no extra cost! $3.89 (plus S&H)

758
The Steaky Steaky 4 (8th weekiversity edition) is a power-drive wonder-horse. Capable of Habenero sauce, plate and fork-have, the Steaky Steaky 4 is a Meat Lover’s dream! $12.95/lb.

Well, so much for- wait, look at this!

757
The Compy 783 is the first-ever Compy with the ability to display 32-bit images, so that you'll never be forced to endure lame ACII-art graphics ever again! Hooray! And not only that, but floppy disks will soon be obsolete to you thanks to our brand-new, revolutionary "CD-ROM" technology! That's right, computers and plastic will no longer be forced to endure each other's presence, and now YOU won't be forced to endure plastic either! The Compy 783- order today! $133.71

>ORDER BREAKY 387

No, that's too low a version number.

>ORDER STEAKY STEAKY 4

That's lower.

>ORDER LAPPY 486

Nice try, no.

>ORDER BIC MAC COMBO

Ew, you eat Big Macs?

>ORDER A PIZZA

Stop ordering food.

>ORDER MOPPY 478

That is not a computer.

>FINE, ORDER COMPY 783

Are you sure?

>WHY, YOU LITTLE-

Just kidding. Your order has been placed. Please wait 7-12 bweesness days for delivery.

>WAIT 7-12 BWEESNESS DAYS

Yes, you must wait 7-12 bweesness days. No, I know you wanted to skip to the arrival of the new Compy and start playing again, but I didn't do that. Because I hate you. OOOOooooh!

[Compy 386]

...7 to 12 bweezness days later...

Finally, after all these months of waiting, the game can finally continue!!!

NEW GAME? OR LOAD SAVED GAME?

[strobro]

> load saved game

[Compy 386]

> load saved game

LOAD FROM WHiCH DRiVE: 1, 2, OR 3?

[strobro]

um... 4

[Compy 386]

um... 4

YOU CHOSE SAVE 4. THAT'S- er, WAIT, WHICH ONE WAS SAVE 4? :confused: UH...

ERROR. DOES NOT COMPUTE. ERROR!!!!

763







...NAW, I'M JUST MESSiNG WITH YOU. :p

ANYWAYS, SAVE 1, 2, OR 3?

[strobro]

>load state 3

[Compy 386]

>load state 3

Eh, close enough.

Ye find yeself in yon INN.

Ye see a SCROLL.

Behind ye scroll is a FLASK.

What wouldst thou do this time? :rolleyes:

[strobro]

>get scroll
>read scroll

[Compy 386]

>get scroll
>read scroll

That's oddeth... it appeareths ye scroll ist blank... thou keepest it anyway.

[strobro]

>get flask

[Compy 386]

>get flask

Ugh. It's another Thy Flask. Ye already got one back home. Ye throweths it outside.

"OW!!!"

Oops. Lookeths like it hit Thy Innkeeper. Fourtunately, he thinks ye meant to giveth it to him. He pours Thy Flask's contents on his wrinkly bald head. He groweths a fine hairdo.

"Thank ye, Dungeonman. I really needethed that!"

Cool.

[strobro]

sveet.

> talk to inkeeper

[Compy 386]

sveet.

> talk to inkeeper

Ye tryeths to striketh up a conversation, but his dazzling hair distracts thee. Maybe if thou had something to talk about, thee could talk to him without staring at his marvelous hair.

[strobro]

>talk to inkeeper about... a cow.

[Compy 386]

>talk to inkeeper about... a cow.

He tells ye the rumors about the hamburger incident are not true. Ye resolves to never enter thy inn's mess hall. Ye still has no idea what ye should be doing.

[strobro]

>convince inkeeper that ye shall enter.

[Compy 386]

>convince inkeeper that ye shall enter.

Enter what? The Inn? Thou art already there, Dunceonman!