Corrupted Wish

[StinkomanFan]

You get it but you happen to be looking up at the time and it lands in your throught choking you.

I wish that i could meet Matt Groening

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But you are in an alternate reality, and you have just canceled Futurama. Did I mention that this dimension is perpetual Anarchy (Rulelessness).

I wish I could stay up for as long as I want and still be able to sleep.

[metalkombat]

Granted. However, the sleep that you fall into is eternal, and very, very boring. The only dreams you have are that of a speck of dust floating across a blank white void. You slowly become insane and try to befriend the speck of dust. When it rejects your offer, you fall into a deep depression that is made worse every time you dream of the speck of dust. Also, your back itches in a spot that you can't quite reach.

I wish that the scroller on my mouse would work all of the time.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But now the mouse itself doesn't work (You set me up for it...)

I wish I could making movies, anime, Manga etc. have endings that I wanted (So Outlaw Star would end with Melfina dying)

[Mouldcube]

Granted, but the original creators of the movies sue you for copyright infringement.

I wish I knew why "you do a barrel roll into a pit of lava, too bad" got so popular when I started it, and I'm rubbish.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Because A) 64 styled Barrel Rolling is a meme, and B) (We're) Starfox Fans, Through and Through.

I wish King didn't die in cave story, He was so awesome T.T

[Mouldcube]

everyone else does instead, including you.

I wish for some new headphones for my laptop.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But they don't work.

I wish I had the full boxset of Sonic SatAM.

[Guy in a Box]

(Actually, I didn't start because I'm a Starfox fan, I just did it cause everyone else is :p)

Granted, but it's copy-protected and it won't play on your DVD player.

I wish I could go for a walk and my iPod have full battery power by the time I get back home.

[the_napoleon]

Granted, but it now won't play any audio or video. At least the battery is still fully charged!
I wish I had a terabyte of RAM and a 8800 video card in my PC.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted but it's poperating system is windows 2.

I wish Nostalgia-Critic was slightly more subtle with his Anti-Furry jokes.

[strobro]

granted, but now there aren't any at all.

i wish for a pot-sticker. (i have the stupidest wishes, don't i?)

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, but it gives you any humiliating disease.

I wish someone would actually reply to my threads...
(Also, You didn't corrupt my wish, You made it better xD)

[the_napoleon]

Granted, but it's antirikurox with another new account.

I wish that a Jonny Bravo complete series DVD would be released in stores.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted but It's only released in Region-2 areas.

I wish I had a complete Collection of the Sonic Archie Comics

[Mouldcube]

They're in such bad condition that they're impossible to read.

I wish that my clock didn't keep breaking.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But it's stuck at a randomly decided time that's slow and you can't change it back.

[StinkomanFan]

It does a barrel roll into a pit of lave, too bad.

I wish for a sword

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But it's a fake RP Sword.

I wish that Nintendo/Sega/Studio Pixel games were real, So I could socialize with the characters.

[StinkomanFan]

You got it but you're an enemy in all the games. That sucks

I wish to be skinnier

[the_napoleon]

Granted, but you only get skinnier because of tapeworm pills and surgically removing vital organs.

I wish I had some homestar figurines.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, but they're made in a Taiwanese sweatshop and are carppily made bootlegs.

I wish I didn't laugh every time I thought of 'Sonic and the Fourth Dimension' (It's a loooong story involving misreading one of the lines about Sally Acorn, Although knowing me, You couldn't blame me for it...)

[Mouldcube]

granted, instead you cry blood.

I wish that my eyes would stop stinging, ouch.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But you don't have eyes. Plus you now have hemorrhoids.

I wish I could Un-see some of the stuff I've seen on the internet.

[the_napoleon]

Granted, but in replacement of the images you've seen, you now see Sonic and Shadow yaoi.
I wish that I didn't say that last sentence.

[StrongBadinator]

Granted, but you say something worse.

I wish that I could never die.

[the_napoleon]

Granted, but you then get a serious injury that you'll never be able to recover from. Plus, after while, the world happens to end, now you're all alone with never ending pain on a empty planet.

I wish that I had the heart to take down that grotesquely cheesy DBZ poster in my room.

[StinkomanFan]

Done but its replaced with a God-awful Naruto poster (I hate Naruto the moron)

I wish that I had some goggles that do something.

[Mouldcube]

granted, YOUR GOGGLES EXPLODE!

I wish that I could get enough money to buy a DSi by the 3rd of april.

[Darkblade07]

you do but quickly you notice the lottery is in
you then put all your money into that and end up losing

I wish i could sell my DS so i could buy a PS3

[the_napoleon]

Granted, the PS3 was broken when you bought it. Oh, and by the way, you don't have any warranty on it, since you made the sale at a local swap meet.

I wish for a better mouse.

[metalkombat]

You get a new and improved mouse. He lives in your house. He eats all your cheese and is quite a louse. You hire an exterminator to rid yourself of this pest, but he says that he does not work with Mouse v. 10.12.

You grouse.

I wish that someone had come up with a better name for a computer mouse than a name commonly used for the rodent Mus musculus.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted but the name is a Ray'r. Rocks to be me, Eh?

I wish I had a complete set of those Sonic novels (Just to see that lines that can get taken out of context)

(Also; Sonic/Shadow yaoi WAS something I saw =I)

[smellyman206]

you get them........ but....they suck..... wow...
I WISH FOR A RUBBER DUCKY WITH A LAZOR DUCT TAPED TO IT!

[Ray-The-Sun]

You get it but the LAZOR shoots you.

I wish that I was an Anthropomorphic Bunny for one day (Because you never know...)

[Maxilyah]

Granted, but Max doesn't like someone else stealing his thunder, so he shoots you.

I wish I had ridiculously awesome super powers...

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But you do a Chain Meme into a pit of lava. Too bad.

I wish I was The main Character from Cave Story Quote.

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but something bad happens and you regret wishing for it.

I wish I had an iPod touch.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But it's not in working condition.

I wish I was King from Cave Story.

[StrongBadinator]

Granted, but they overthrow you.

I wish for 99999999999000999999999999999999999999999999990099 99877898879988899888899988899988899988888999999999 99999999999999999999999999889999999999999888888888 88898888888888999999999999998899889764467999549009 9999999999999909999and a half chickens.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted but they make you FAAAAAAAAAT.

I wish I didn't get serious mental scars from the internet.

[Guy in a Box]

Granted. You now get physical scars.

I wish I knew what the word "antidisestablishmentarianism" meant.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted but you now speak Broken Japanese.

I wish I knew Japanese AND English.

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but now your mouth keeps moving after you stop talking.

I wish I could think up a good idea for my school Powerpoint project.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted but those 'ideas' come straight from my mind, So they ain't exactly Clean.

[StinkomanFan]

You get a bad Lawyer

I put in "Plan 9 From Outer Space"

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but you forgot you posted this in the wrong thread.

[StinkomanFan]

Do'h!

I wish for a Dr.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted but It's THE Doctor (Fuyuhiko Date) From Cave Story.

I wish I was creepy (The Creepy Child kind of creepy, With the voice and the stare)

[Mouldcube]

granted, but you somehow do a barrel roll into a pit of lava, too bad get burnt by a meteor that just happened to be stopping by your neighbours house for tea and chess, with a bit of lettuce on the side.

I wish that that last sentence made sense.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted and they all live happily ever after. OR DO THEY!?

I wish the Trigun boxset wasn't expensive.

[deadlinejon]

granted its free now, but the cops arrest you for shoplifting.

i wish for a muffin.no wait, five muffins.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, but they are Soylent Muffins.

I wish I had Vash's Gun.

[deadlinejon]

granted, but it blows up in your face.

i wish for a wallet, because i lack one currently.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted but it eats all healthy stuff, and remembers to eat all it's greens.

[StrongBadinator]

granted.

I wish for a big dangerous gun that won't kill me but can kill other people.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But it has so much recoil one shot will rip off your arm and leave a massive gaping whole where your Shoulder once was.

I wish I was good at Gmod Sprite duplicating.

[StrongBadinator]

Granted, but now that's the only thing you're good at.

I wish for a chihuahua from Neptune.

[Snicklin]

Granted, but it's pointless.

I wish I didn't do a barrel roll into a pit of lave.

[StinkomanFan]

You don't do a barrel roll into a pit of lava, too bad but your family does

I wish for a PS2 memory card.

[natlinxz]

you get it, but you can't play Little Big Planet on a PS2.

I wish for a youtube partner account

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, but everything you post gets deleted due to copyright infringement.

I wish that I was invincible... In IRC.

[mariofan1000]

Granted but you die :D

I wish for nothing.

[Mouldcube]

You end up in a universe that isn't...and you get bored and die.

I wish for the ability to copy other peoples voices.

[mariofan1000]

Granded but you don't get your own voice.

I wish time skipped ahead 2 seconds.

[Mouldcube]

granted, however, something incredible that will never happen again happened in those 2 seconds, and you hate yourself for missing it.

I wish that I could have seen whatever that amazing thing was.

[metalkombat]

Granted. You see a radio. However, the awesome thing is really the sound coming from the radio, and you can't hear that, for some reason.

I wish for a cherry cola.

[pizzapuma]

granted. it's poison.

I wish the telltale forum comic would be made faster.

[Snicklin]

Granted, but it's everything you didn't want.

I wish that hand-portable device from the game Portal was real.

[mariofan1000]

Granded but you end up traveling to a alternate dimention that is completely white and there is nothing.

I wish we would get some info on Sam & Max Season 3.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Granted, but the info is that it's CANCELED FOREVER.

I wish for some more Raisinets.

[mariofan1000]

Granted but you only get one and crave them. You eat yourself.

I wish wishes don't get corrupted in this game.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

The universe EXPLODES for some reason.

I wish I was a billionaire.

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, it's all in pennies.

I wish my scanner would get fixed so that I could get the forum comic finished sooner.

[someguyfromazoo]

It Get's Fixed, but can only scan one thing: Cloth. White cloth.

I wish I had a Skyrunner.
Dut doo doo dunna dunna na... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82KpmzXNU8M)

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but instead of a Skyrunner, you get a Skywalker. You now have to tolerate shrill nasal whining for the rest of your life.

I wish I could think of a good idea for a wish.

[deadlinejon]

granted, but its about PINGAS

i wish for a book.

[pizzapuma]

roar it eats you roar


i wish for a windows computer

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

You get a computer with a window in it.

I wish that made sense.

[someguyfromazoo]

You are teleported into a world where EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE!
This knowledge overflows your brain, and it causes you to lose your own opinion in the vastness. You also have lost the ability to walk, as your brain is too heavy to do it.

I wish I had a pencil eraser. (http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Pencil_eraser)

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

You use it in a stationary store and you're arrested for destruction of property.

I wish my TV had better visual quality.

[StrongBadinator]

It has such good quality that, while watching a football game, they toss the football to you and you get tackled.

I wish to have my very own planet where I rule and the inhabitants look like my doodles.

[King of The CheatSmith]

You forgot you doodled ruler-of-planet-eating vampire goasts. They attack. -15 HP! (you only have 10 HP)


I wish I was an video game character.

[StrongBadinator]

You become one of those stupid 1st level enemies that can be killed with one hit.

I wish that qwerty was an actual word in the dictionary.

[natlinxz]

It is, but the dictionary is $500

I wish for a pizza

[DarkStar Runner]

Granted. The pizza sauce is made of a special acid which doesn't harm the ingredients, but melts you from the inside-out.

Man, I wish I was an anaconda who could swallow people easily...

[Snicklin]

Granted, and you choke and die as soon as you attempt to devour your first victim.

I wish I had a fully functioning Sony Blu Ray DVD player.

[King of The CheatSmith]

Sure! But it's a ray that turns things blue with a screen added to it. And they give it to your brother. You're blue before you can say "Lemon gargle".

I wish that I could "ZAP" my enimies into dust.

[natlinxz]

Granted! But you inhale the dust, and die. (or get terribly ill, take your pick)

I wish for the New version of Mac OS, "Snow Leopard"!

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but you get an actual snow leopard named Mac. It eats you.

I wish my nose wasn't as stuffed up as it is right now.

[King of The CheatSmith]

Ok, but the snot runs out of your nose and floods your basement.

I wish that liverwerst tasted like good candy.

[DarkStar Runner]

It does, and you eat so much of it that you explode.

...Hmm...I wish that I could swallow people whole again...

[StrongBadinator]

...Hmm...you choke and die again...

I wish that I had a pet ferret named George.

[someguyfromazoo]

You pet ferret is named George, he is not potty-trained, he marks his territory every 5 seconds, and claws the ever-loving blood out of you shin, and attacks anything from friends to your boss. It is euthanize d. You miss it, for some reason, and get a new, uglier, far more violent ferret named Cletus. It is a reincarnation of George, and murders you in your sleep with his own leash.

I wish there were no springs.
i swear, if anyone makes an mst3k reference, i will die a happy man.

[StrongBadinator]

Granted. Now you are being chased by an angry mob of guitar players. (nuts, no mst3k reference.)

I wish for a ferret the exact opposite of George.

[someguyfromazoo]

You get a ferret named Egroeg. She is kind, and is loved by everyone.
Then she dies of Incuritus, some disease that infects only ferrets. Everyone blames you. They trap you in a Windmill with torches and pitchforks. They kill you.

I wish I had my own Magicant.

[mariofan1000]

The magicant makes more ants and invade your house.

I wish for good news on Sam & Max season 3

[someguyfromazoo]

Here's the good news, there's a trailer! Bad news, it's so horrendously crappy that you wish it was none-existent! Wish granted! No Season 3!

I wish I lived in the game EarthBound.

[metalkombat]

Granted. A boy in a baseball bat hits you over the head with a baseball hat.

I wish for an earlier release date for The Conduit.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But it was released on the NES.

I sooo wish I could use PSI.

[someguyfromazoo]

You can use PSI, but when you use it, it somehow sent you to Giygas' lair. You try praying, but your prayer is swallowed by the darkness.

No, I wish I lived in Moonside.

[StinkomanFan]

You go and when you come home to tell everyone. You're then put in an asylum for knowing too much

I wish I wasn't as paranoid.

[metalkombat]

Granted. However, you really could've used that paranoia when that assassin snuck up behind you.

I wish for a large, juicy steak.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But suddenly you become Pokey and I know you don't like steaks Pokey. Well T-O-O-B-A-D!

I wish I had the ability to bring my doodles to life and they follow my every command (Also with this wish comes the ability to draw good doodles)

[natlinxz]

Granted, but your Pac Man drawing eats you.

I wish for an HDTV

[mariofan1000]

Granted but your old tv kills you.

I wish I saved the world.

[natlinxz]

Granted, but some evil organization with a long name kills you.
I wish for stuff.

[someguyfromazoo]

Your "stuff" is a deadly asp, too bad.

I wish I had a Golf Club to threaten Nintendo of America with so they'd finally release EarthBound for the Virtual Console.

[King of The CheatSmith]

You get a golf club the eats guys from a zoo.

I wish I had good style.

[someguyfromazoo]

You get the style of a Guy From a Zoo. The golf club EATS YOU.

I wish NOA would release EarthBound for VC.

[StrongBadinator]

They release it, but your nostalgia failed you and you realize it sucks.
(dear God, I apologize for saying that disgusting lie.)

I wish for a chimpanzee riding a segway.

[someguyfromazoo]

You get a chimpanzee on a segway, about to run you over.

I wish EarthBound was remade. (Dear god, I wish EarthBound wasn't the only thing on my mind right now...)

[StinkomanFan]

It's remade into an awful FPS

I wish for a new duck

[someguyfromazoo]

Your duck is a Mad Duck. It distracts you for all eternity by spinning random crap around.

I wish EarthBound was PROPERLY remade, as an RPG, with all the same music.

[StrongBadinator]

It was. Um......uh.... You do a barral roll into a pit of lava. Too bad!

I wish for a billion dollers. Non counterfiet amerian ones that won't squish me under it's weight.

[StinkomanFan]

It's not your country dollars not taken anywhere!

I wish "the day the music died" never happened.

[someguyfromazoo]

It didn't. However, "The Day StinkomanFan was Brutally Mutilated" did.

I wish I could be a Pigmask.

[StrongBadinator]

You get a bovinemask. Oh, you said pig? Well, NO REFUNDS!!

I wish for a die-loyal tribe of Aztecs which I rule over.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Granted, but there is a MUTINY and you die.

I wish I had a genie.

[someguyfromazoo]

You get a Genie with a case of Nowishitis, no wishes.

I wish I knew how ot get out of this Zoo I live in.

[King of The CheatSmith]

The only way out is to cut yourself into tiny peices and throw yourself down the sewer.

I wish for Minty Gargle.

[someguyfromazoo]

The Minty Gargle has a dangerously high alcohol content, and you are arrested for public intoxication.

I wish I had a full set of all MST3K movies.

[iRock]

You get them!

...broken, crusted, melted to the cases, and on fire somehow.

They are also inhabited by a demon, who then kills you. With a steak knife.

I wish for a delicious and completely normal white chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookie that is exactly 5 inches in diameter.

[StinkomanFan]

You choke on it

I wish for a bunny that will love me forever (Cookie to however doesn't get the reference)

[StrongBadinator]

You get a bunny that hugs you to death.
(I don't get the reference, do I get a cookie?)

I wish for a super big weapon that destroys my enemies but somehow doesn't hurt me at all when fired at me.

[someguyfromazoo]

You get a banana that chokes people. It doesn't hurt you because you eat it when confronted, but You are then unarmed. Not only that, but the enemy you faced was an expert in the art of Defending Against Fruit. (Whoever gets the reference gets a cookie.)

I wish I had Alone in the Dark 1. (Not the current one.)

I wish for a bunny that will love me forever (Cookie to however doesn't get the reference)

Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy?

[StinkomanFan]

I wish I had Alone in the Dark 1. (Not the current one.)



Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy?
No cookie for you and the game breaks

I wish for new goggles

[someguyfromazoo]

You get goggles alright. WHOOOOOPTY DOOOOOOO! You are bored to death.

I wish I had a Heavily Armed Mech.

[Snicklin]

Granted, but it malfunctions and kills you.

I wish I could turn my iPod touch into an iPhone.

[rollercoasterocker]

You turn it into a Iphone, but it doesn't work.
I wish that I had every game and system in the world AND THAT THE GAMES AND SYSTEMS WORK.

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but the people who randomly lost their games and systems around the world are starting to form an angry mob outside your house.

I wish that my dog would stop gnawing on my hand.

[someguyfromazoo]

It BITES your hand now.
I wish I had the ability to listen to any music I want to in my head.

[rollercoasterocker]

You get the music stuck in your head every time you listen to it.
I wish that I was Strong Bad and I didn't have to do any e-mails.

[StinkomanFan]

No emails equals no fame

I wish RCR would stop being such an Antirikurox

[Guy in a Box]

Granted. He now acts like pizzapuma.

I wish I could get a good night's sleep tonight, since I am finally out of school for the summer.

[The Mighty M]

You do, but you sleep so long that it lasts all your life. When you wake up your in hell.
I wish that chipmunks would gnaw at my legs.

[pizzapuma]

you get them. why would anyone want that?

i wish people would stop insulting me

[Guy in a Box]

Granted. People now start coming to your house and shooting you.

I wish that pizzapuma would actually try to go to other parts of the forum to raise his forum posts up from zero, because it makes him look like a n00b.
And there's also the fact that if you go over 100 posts, you get your name featured in the end credits of the next Telltale DVD...just sayin'

[pizzapuma]

i do, but they're all spam made for the sake of getting in movie credits.

i wish i knew what parts of the forum i should go to that i would like

[pizzapuma]

BTW, i got some posts. whats my prize?

[Guy in a Box]

Click on the attachment to get your prize! :D

And I'm starting to think that rollercoasterrocker is actually antirikurox. Right now, pizzapuma, you're safe.

[pizzapuma]

a flute up the nose? you can keep it.

[Mouldcube]

MINE!
*steals flute from whoever's currently holding it*

...hang on, what was the last wish again?

i wish i knew what parts of the forum i should go to that i would like

oh, thank you handy and convenient quote.

You now know, but get struck by a meteor before managing to post in that part.

I wish I could think of anything interesting to bring into conversations :P

[Gman5852]

you learn a good conversation starter, but you become band for spamming.:)

I wish for a cheese pizza that never runs out of pizza.

[someguyfromazoo]

You get t. It also works as Penicillin.

I wish the Corru[t a Wish thread (The other one) wasn't made, and people would still write here.

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but you barrel roll into a pit of lava. Too bad.
(Sorry, just had to XP)

I wish I could be able to figure out why my WiiConnect24 files are corrupted.

[Mouldcube]

They all did barrel rolls into the same pit of lava as someguyfromazoo did.

I wish someone would make a GIF of someone doing a barrel roll into a pit of lava. (actually, I might go and do that now, myself).

[pizzapuma]

granted, but it does a barrel roll into a pit of lava.

i wish for a sheepfrog.

[someguyfromazoo]

It does a barrel roll into a pit of lavaacid.

I wish i had some popcorn.

[pizzapuma]

it flys into a meatiorite.

i wish for a fish.

[Zachspyfox033]

The fish eats you.

I wish for the perfect women who will do whatever I want and never be boring or gross. Also she can't get pregnant or sick, unless I want her to, and will never cheat on me. Also who I'm NOT related to.

[tredlow]

You get a hypnotized woman that can be controlled via a handheld console. Congrats!

The next day, all the feminists in the world goes into your house and beat the crap outta you and took away your woman. Congrats!

I wish dinosaurs were more awesome.

[Mouldcube]

They are now so awesome, that anything less awesome than them (e.g. you) gets destroyed by a thirty foot embodiment of awesome. only dinosaurs and strong bad survive.

I wish that this wish was in fact the best wish anyone has ever made, and therefore gets rewarded

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but something bad happens, causing the wish to screw up.

I wish I knew what to buy with this last dollar on my iTunes gift card.

[StrongBadinator]

Granted, u buy a Michael Bolton song. Ewww..

I wish for an uncorrupt-able wish, which I will use in the next time I post.

[dentbuds]

Your computer crashes, so you will never be able to post again.

---

I wish that i wasn't the only one who could pronounce antidisestablishmentarianism correstly.

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but it becomes so easy to say that it becomes the shortest word in the dictionary.

I wish I could finish my two summer reading books before August.

[dentbuds]

The sun explodes, making it winter. In fact, we all freeze to death instantly.

---

I wish that Bill Gates gave me all his money.

[Marduk]

Granted. He transfers all of his money to you but later claims to have been coerced at gun point. You're arrested in moments and subject to some pretty nasty police brutality. It turns out that old Bill has paid off the ole' bill to have you 'dealt with'. You're put into a squad car that mysteriously never reaches its destination. After a short investigation Mr. Gates' assets are returned to him.

I wish I had a working TARDIS and the ability to pilot it as well as any Time Lord.

[Spadge]

Hey you also get a kicky scarf! Too bad life isn't a TV show, sinse you are actually killed like a dog by the first Dalek you encounter.

I wish I directed the new Transformers movies.

[Javi-Wan Kenobi]

Granted. They have so bad reviews that you are never again hired as director for another movie.

-----

I wish to be the boss in my job.

[Plunder_Bunny]

Granted. Your boss keels over and you become the new boss... Unfortunately one of your co-workers made the same wish, and now you have died and they are the new boss.

I wish I could spell.

[Spadge]

Unfortunatly you are given the ability to cast spells. You are burned for witchcraft by angry peasants.

I wish I could bend steel with my bare hands.

[Mouldcube]

granted, now any piece of steel you touch bends, even if you don't want it to.
unfortunately, for some reason you have steel plates, and they close upon your food when you try to eat, and then for no reason, you do a barrel roll into a pit of lava, too bad.

I wish all the games I've lost would turn up.

[DarkStar Runner]

Oh yes, all the games you lost that were lying on their backs turned and are now facing up.

I wish for a tiny Professor Layton, alive, for me to devour alive whenever I want...

[Mouldcube]

granted, but people get so disturbed by watching, that they destroy you with lasers.

I wish that winter would get here faster (arrgghh! so long to wait for those games!)

[Dangerzone]

Granted, but then you realize you still get all the stress from 5 months of waiting (only condensed) which causes a stress induced heart attack.

I wish I could find the ****ing remote!

[DarkStar Runner]

You find the ****ing channel, only to realize you still can't change the channel...but you CAN add unnecessary bleeps to the current show! Too bad it's the Weather Channel.

I wish that my headphones were in perfect condition again...

[Plunder_Bunny]

Your headphones are now in perfect condition, but you no longer have feet.

I wish I had some chocolate.

[Snicklin]

Granted, but you die of diabetes.

I wish they'd come out with a Team Fortress 2 movie, and it'll turn out just like I expected it to be.

[Plunder_Bunny]

Granted. The movie is everything you expect it to be, but it is in 3D and the movie theater refuses to give you any 3D glasses. You try and watch the movie anyway and go completely blind.

I wish you had a puppy.

[Spadge]

Yeah? Well you get my puppy... inside your chest! Seconds later the little sweetheart breaks trough your ribcage and runs away.

I wish I had a giant manly handlebar mustache!

[Plunder_Bunny]

Oh my... I didn't want your puppy... I wanted you to have a puppy... Oh well *replaces ribcage, and stitches up chest.

Alright. So you want a handlebar mustache. Granted. Your handle bar mustache is so cool that some adoring fans rip it off you face damaging your upper lip so you can no longer grow hair there.

I wish I was a three headed monkey.

[DarkStar Runner]

Ah, wish granted....but then the real 3-headed monkey comes and kills you for being unoriginal.

*sigh* I wish Don Paolo would already send me my EVIL instructions....

[Marduk]

Ah, wish granted....but then the real 3-headed monkey comes and kills you for being unoriginal.

*sigh* I wish Don Paolo would already send me my EVIL instructions....

Your instructions arive in the mail, however they're the kind that self destruct. Sadly you skimmed through the instructions, missing that part and stick the instructions in your pocket. You survive the explosion but you're permenantly injured and your waste will always have to be collected in a colostomy bag.

I wish Tom Jones was never famous.

[DarkStar Runner]

Wish granted, but due to him never being famous, this has altered the course of history, ultimately ending up in you dying.

I wish PROFESSOR LAYTON AND THE DIABOLICAL BOX WOULD HURRY UP AND RELEASE ALREADY!

[Plunder_Bunny]

Granted, but every copy is sold out and they discontinued any further copies.

I wish people would stop getting killed by wishes.

[smashing]

There was a *jingle* song in the air, as changes were implemented to prevent people getting killed by wishes. Now they are maimed, decapitated, mangled, truncated, mutilated, paralyzed or castrated. Coincidentally, suicides resulted from corrupted wishes increases dramatically.

I wish there will be no more petitions in Telltale Games Forums.

[StrongBadinator]

Granted, but then someone starts a petition to allow there to be petitions in the forums again. Wait, what?

I wish that i could think of something to wish for.

[Plunder_Bunny]

Granted. You get locked in a tall tower with no way out.

I wish I had more of that delicious cake I just ate.

[smashing]

A dozen of the delicious cake appear right in front of you. While you were gouging down the sixth cake, you saw the list of ingredients for the lovely cakes you are pigging through. Mono-sodium glutamate, titanium doixide, hydrogenated oil, sugar, lark's vomit, corn flour (GMO corn), artificial flavours, cockroach cluster, Ram's bladder, small amazonian frogs and metallic springs. Hurrying to the sink, you vomitted everything possible, took some laxatives from the medical supplies and ended up with a diarrhea for five hours.

I wish I was a five-foot tall young asian babe.

[britt12334]

You get your five-foot tall young asian babe too bad shes 11 years old.

I wish for a pony

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but the pony hates you and she tramples you.

I wish I had a brain full of useless knowledge.

[DarkStar Runner]

Granted...your brain is filled to the brim with knowledge...then you come across something interesting and useful, and your brain explodes from over-knowledge.

[Marduk]

Granted...your brain is filled to the brim with knowledge...then you come across something interesting and useful, and your brain explodes from over-knowledge.

Now make a wish.

[DarkStar Runner]

I wish....uh...

I wish that...er...

I WISH I COULD POST THIS ANIMATED IMAGE AS MY AVATAR! http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/3695/yummynomnoms.gif

[smashing]

You posted the animated image as your avatar successfully. But due to technical failure, the animation is moving at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000001 frame rate per seconds. Bad luck!

(Seriously, ask the TTG people if posting animated gif is possible as avatar or in signature. Don't just sit there and wish for it!)


I wish that the next episode of Monkey Island will feature Bubbles (Michael Jackson's Chimp).

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But it's coming out the day after Duke Nukem forever.

I wish I could kill people by punching them 99 and 1 time(s).

[tredlow]

Granted, you can. Though this is a pretty stupid wish since there are more efficient ways to kill people, like say, strangling them 1 time(s).

I wish for a long, well thought out answer that's at least 5 paragraphs long in the next post.

[smashing]

Granted. Unfortunately the answer is written in a gibberish language, which look something like this:

ei neonf Mama I shot a man nofwef jwioed f noejnf woe nionf we noenfo wn onf noefninejho tutio hohe hqw put a gun to his head, pull the trigger eibfwf bdfihs neufhweo iohoe tnth qwhquiohw tnith hsu eihrioe wowjr goihtg cbudh ehioe ch NOW HE'S DEAD! eofhwe noehfowe nfoenf nonqwrf

bfwiebfi MAMA uwehf owhf oe his life has just began wehorhwe enfoef hehwe bfiebf nohrwoe oehre neonwe hcoidhc now I end it and take it all away nbfowe fhreiof f jgir tjrtj qdnwo jd cnoedif e jioe cjeio q nioen rncehfow nmqon ce.

efwgefwe ef dsofs qpkjfdeo sgdskog sdf dsfs wenweokr as cdsjf wef eds wfe hof we fejhoe w galileo galileo eifbdfo hwofhf wbeofef droplet of rain hfioh qwbiw f eojwef qw rfhwo qwqrqwe dancing in the rain woefwne qyowehqo m,scn q[[,mnd. heto kenf pjwoe Lawrence of Arabia nowfe nioef nklnw.

Repetence nofdos enqw gbure pomc w ehif wndfowe sprint into action bndfiaes wbqwr nosnd nonr nji. noeofnf ,qwwei nfenf Eric Cartmen, fuwhe fbe ebgf osn f eioh e hf hwohr fneoij cne ne ioejr ncoenfoew nione.

herkioe fwjegfjwre jfj jifpjdc cmwpe qwuepq[qr idiot oewhr qjopie opwerjwep cnneof e ojtp LeChuck is the man weorje cndspc q jpqw mcjepi pdhqdoh khcpe thith chiewhf n cneujnwo m cjheijw qnmwnioehc neifh.


I wish I did not just type that.

[Mouldcube]

granted, now that post didn't exist, causing the wish before to never have been corrupted, which in turn, causes your post to become spam and you get banned, just before doing a barrel roll into a pit of lava, too bad.

I wish I had a better memory.

[Gman5852]

I wish I had a better memory.

Granted, but you witness a murder scene and now your good memory will haunt you with it forever.

I wish for this wish to be corrupted:p

[Mouldcube]

it is, but so are all the files on your computer now.

I wish I could draw well...or wasn't so lazy so I could actually TRY.

[HomsarGuy]

Granted but the picture that you draw is the worst picture ever.

I wish birds can fly.

[Gman5852]

You just wasted a wish of something already true, so time and space explode and we all die.
I wish for an army of monkeys that DON'T have rabies and are non violent.

[HomsarGuy]

Granted but those monkeys attract land sharks


Im not going to use my wish untill later

[Awesomepantsman]

Unfortunately, when you come back someone's already used it.

I wish I could make people laugh.

[Gman5852]

granted, but when you are shot in the leg and need to go to the hostipital and pleed for help, they laugh and you die.

I wish for the ability to always be warm, but not too hot.

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but your warmness makes you magically attracted to a pool of lava, which you immediately barrel roll into. Too bad.

I wish that I had the power to bend time and space to my own reality.

[smashing]

You new found power uncontrollable twist the space and time you are in, twisting and seal you into an unknown dimension. You should have wished for something more controllable.

I wish for a funny reply.

[Mouldcube]

you get one, but not for this wish.

I wish for...umm...something...that I can sell...for...umm...beans.

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but the thing you sell is your soul, and you die.

I wish that VG Cats would update more often.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But it's crap.

I wish I wasn't addicted to Pepsi so much that I've got insomnia.

[City Of Delusion]

Granted. But you're now addicted to Coca Cola instead.

I wish for a chocolate bar.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But it's liquified.

I wish I could teleport with no physical harm to myself.

[octochan]

Granted, you can now teleport three inches from your current position, once every 27 hours.

I wish that from now on, I won't lose anything.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you can never remember where anything is.

-x-

I wish my teeth didn't ache so much.

[corruptbiggins]

Granted, now you don't have any teeth.

-----------------------------

I wish I could stop procrastinating.

[City Of Delusion]

Well, we could grant that but that would result in some rather large side effects that you probably wouldn't like because it would wind up in you procrastinating even more despite your hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia (which is that side effect I was talking about earlier). Wait a moment, that's not going to affect procrastinating, will it? *goes off to find a dictionary*

I wish I had more money.

[The Mighty M]

You do get more, a millionth of a dollar

I wish that anyone except sam and max would come round for a tea party and kill me in the most stupid way possible

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, I come round and disembowel you. In alphabetical order.

-x-

I wish I were rich.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, but you're now rich in friendship.

I wish for I could play the guitar.

[The Mighty M]

You now can, very badly. The noise is so horrible that the world decides to kill you.

I wish I had an evil psychic portal monkey, which came to this world for no particular reason, which is bent on world destruction

[Darth Marsden]

Granted. It starts it's destruction of the world with you.

I wish I could eat anything I wanted and not get fat.

[City Of Delusion]

Granted. You starve to death.

I wish I could have infinite wishes.

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but you get banned from the forums for spamming the thread with wishes.

I wish that mosquitoes would stop choosing my skin as their landing place.

[DarkStar Runner]

Granted. They all begin to fly into your mouth and down your throat land directly on the muscles within your digestive system.

I wish... 10 days would quickly pass.

[StrongBadinator]

Granted, but whatever youre waiting for in ten days sucks, and now you...die...i guess.

i wish that i had five thousand Not stolen authentic American dollars.

[tredlow]

i wish that i had five thousand Not stolen authentic American dollars.

Granted! Now you need to find someone who accepts confederate money!

----------------------

I wish robots are less threatening

[wwitthoff1]

Granted but something goes arwy and they develop personalities and destroy the world. (Man i need to stop watching those kubrick movies)

-x-

I wish Microsoft would go bankrupt.

[City Of Delusion]

Granted. The whole world goes bankrupt too.

I wish I was a mod on this forum.

[octochan]

This will be granted as soon as all the members unregister and never come back to the TTG site again.

I wish that spam mail (both physical and electronic types) never existed.

[Guy in a Box]

Granted, but now you get spammed with chain letters (both physical and electronic types).

I wish that my MP3s would download faster.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you can only download Celine Dion and Enya.

I wish I knew what I wanted for my birthday.

[Marduk]

Granted. You now know what you wanted for your birthday, however your birthdays will cease as you will die shortly before your next one comes.

[Darth Marsden]

Uh, granted, I guess. But every time you do... whatever it is you wished for, you have to give me $2,000. And a limo.

I wish I could resist temptation.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, But now you're dead.

I wish I had a 2x4 wooden plank.

[strobro]

it comes to life and beats you to death. (should have seen that coming...)

i wish i had a billion dollars that gets renewed every time i spend some. (it gets renewed when the IRS takes it away too!)

[tredlow]

i wish i had a billion dollars that gets renewed every time i spend some. (it gets renewed when the IRS takes it away too!)

Granted. Too bad it doesn't get renewed when somebody stole it. Which they did. And stole your TV. And burned down your house. And kidnapped you.

I wish Gordon Freeman would speak more.

[Darth Marsden]

I wish Gordon Freeman would speak more.Granted, but he sounds like Joe Pasquale (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVol1m4PFnM).

I wish for the love of a good woman.

[strobro]

granted. you get married. and then die in a horrible car crash. that left no survivors. on the face of the planet. or in the universe. at all. ever. sorry, but you just killed all life in the universe! oh, and then the universe somehow does a barrel roll into a pit of lava. too bad!

um... i wish that.... who ever replies to this post gets their head exploded. :D

[Mouldcube]

granted, unfortunately, you accidently replied to your own post. however, no-one saw this as the post was instantly deleted afterwards.

I wish for...umm...another broken pen?

[Darth Marsden]

Granted. The nib breaks off, bounces off the desk and stabs you in the eye.

I wish for a nice cheese sandwich and a packet of Ready Salted crisps.

[Gman5852]

Granted, but there was poisen in the sandwhich.

I wish I could speak leet

[strobro]

granted. you try to say i come in peace but you forgot and said i will kill you all. they ate you.

ok, lets try this again...
i wish that who ever replies to this post that is NOT ME gets their head exploded.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but I'm standing right next to you at the time and you get caught in the explosion.

I wish for the world's most powerful PC.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted, but it only works using DOS.

I wish I had a Sandwich that made me able to punch out people's blood.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you're arrested, tried, convicted and executed as a result.

I wish I had a nice, refreshing glass of Appletiser.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Granted but the glass only holds 1ML of liquid.

I wish I had a chainsaw. and an infinite number of trees.

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but you slip up on the first tree and accidentally cut your legs off.

I wish I knew everything.

[Gman5852]

Granted, but you also know when you die, making you an empty shell knowing your own death, which auses your death.
I wish for the user name: gman5852

[strobro]

granted. you get the username gman5852. I don't know how, nor does anybody including yourself which makes the universe spontaniously combust.

[Darth Marsden]

...

I wish for [pinkies at the ready] one million dollars!

[strobro]

Dude, should have seen it coming. The irs...

I wish for one million dollars that replenishes itself no matter what happens in this perfectly uncorruptable wish. :D

[octochan]

Granted, and you also get an inexplicable million dollar debt that you have to pay off at exactly the same rate at which your money regenerates.

I wish that Telltale will keep making awesome sequels to all those LucasArts games we loved so many years ago.

[strobro]

I SAID IT WAS INCORRUPTABLE!!!!!

Nobody exept you remembers them and your the only one who buys them so they get discontinued.

I wish i had... a million pounds of candy. A MILLION POUNDS!

[Compy 386]

Granted, but the million pounds of candy drops on you from the sky, and every small child in the state swarms the candy, eating your crushed body in the process.

I wish I had more wishes!

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but they're all as corrupted as this one.

I wish Michael Jackson wasn't dead.

[Compy 386]

Granted, but he has a permanent case of lyrengitis (or however you spell that)

I wish I was never born!

[Darth Marsden]

Granted, but since you were never born, you couldn't be alive to wish you were never born, so the wish was never granted, meaning that you're still alive. Then you make the wish, and...

(Incidentally, it's Laryngitis. You were close though!)

I wish I was famous.