Goofus and Gallant

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Remember Goofus and Gallant? Me neither! Apparently, it was an old cartoon strip that ran in Highlights or some such nonsense. It says some bad thing Goofus does, then a nice thing Gallant does differently. (http://www.highlights.com/images/us/local/newsroom/imglib/GoofusGallant_Oct1980_hrsm.jpg)

BUT THAT'S NO FUN, NOW IS IT?

What we'll do is say something nice Gallant does, then a horrible related thing Goofus does instead. Like so:

Person 1: Gallant always serves his guests lemonade.
Person 2: Goofus serves his guests urine which he says is lemonade.
*Insert something Gallant does here*

Get the idea? OK, I'll start.
Gallant doesn't spam the internet.
(And try to be more creative than "Goofus spams the internet")

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus takes chain mails too far

Gallant plans his robberies ahead of time.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus plans his robberies/murders/blackmails about two minutes before being committed.

Gallant shares his cheese with others.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus is holding everyone in Winsconsin hostage.

Gallant doesn't complete online surveys.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus completes real-life surveys by writing in random answers like "RAVIOLI".

Gallant is very willing to work on a team.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus likes to watch his teammates crash and burn while he safely sits on the sidelines.

Gallant does not pirate videos.

[Darkblade07]

Goofus dosn't either.....He pirates ships and small boats.

Gallant eats his greens

[Ray-The-Sun]

Goofus eats his friends.

Gallant doesn't start pointless flame w4rz.

[Darkblade07]

Goofus allways calls gallant a nerd

Gallant wan't play video games cause he says they rot his brain...

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus plays video games about rotting his brain.

Gallant is an Honor Roll student.

[Darkblade07]

Goofus murders honer roll students

Gallant has bought 20 people presents on christmas

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus has destroyed 20 people's presents on Christmas.

Gallant always wears reflective tape on his Halloween costumes so cars won't run into him.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus puts reflective tape on car windshields.

Gallant helps people sew when they can't.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus likes to put people's arms through the sewing machine.

Gallant doesn't smoke.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus has been smoking since he was a fetus. DON'T ASK HOW.

Gallant is very mature in Health class at school.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus makes innuendos CONSTANTLY

Gallant uses condoms

[Guy in a Box]

Um, I don't even want to say what Goofus does.

Gallant always keeps watch with his weight and goes on diets whenever necessary.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus weighs 1000000000000000000000000000000000 lbs

Gallant uses the wet towel trick correctly

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus tries to whip everyone with the wet towel.

Gallant is opposed to war.

[metalkombat]

Goofus is opposed to charities.

Gallant does not use all caps on internet forums.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus 0|\||_'/ \_/535 13375p34k 0n f0|2\_/|v|z.

Gallant gets his fast food from Wendy's.

[Darkblade07]

Goofus shot a girl named wendy

Gallant allways flushes the toilet

[yogurtmano86753090]

goofus goes in the toilet and then pee in back,so when gallant flush,pee come out because he smart and gallant stupid

gallant doesnt punch below the belt

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus doesn't punch above the belt.

Gallant is respectful to his siblings.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus has no siblings. Anymore, at least.

Gallant likes listening to Mozart.

[metalkombat]

Goofus likes to listen to the sound of people screaming.

Gallant likes puppies, kittens, and quite possibly ponies.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus likes killing puppies, kittens, and quite possibly ponies.

Gallant eats brain food for breakfast. (I'm purposely setting this one up)

[yogurtmano86753090]

gallant eats crap.didnt see that comin

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus exists.

Gallant appreciates music.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus likes to start screaming mobs at concerts.

Gallant likes the Jonas Brothers.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus is the Jonas Brothers. ...Wait, what?

Gallant appreciates classic movies.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus prefers remakes

Gallant draws pictures

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus burns Gallant's pictures.

Gallant is tolerant when he does that.

[metalkombat]

Goofus is agitated by this lack of response, so he just beats the crap out of Gallant.

Gallant attends study clubs.

[deadlinejon]

goofus goes on a rampage when he does that.

Gallant likes watching a nice tv show with his pets, a pop, and some snacks.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus imitates the show

Gallant helps people

[supraface]

goofus beats up people who spend all their free time on video game forums

gallant is a candy striper

[Darkblade07]

goofus craps out candy...Random FTW

gallant eats an apple a day

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus is an apple a day...no wait...

Gallant helps old women across the street.

[deadlinejon]

Goofus runs over old ladies across the street.

Gallant acually obays the video game rating system.

[Snicklin]

Goofus actually participated in the development of an M-rated survival-horror game once.

Goofus plays outside and gets healthy exercise.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus blew up his neighborhood park just so his mom wouldn't tell him to go there.

Gallant dislikes the sight of blood.

[Snicklin]

Goofus prefers it to be poured into a glass, iced.

Gallant is "environment friendly".

[Darkblade07]

goofus cuts down ten trees every earth day

Gallant treats his mom nice

[Snicklin Mobile]

Goofus killed his mom, his dad, and Supernanny.

Gallant has proper table manners.

[deadlinejon]

Goofus dosent.

Gallant dosent eat meat on friday

[metalkombat]

Goofus eats meat off of live animals every day.

Gallant doesn't make innuendo.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus is dating seven girls at the same time.

Gallant helps clean the dishes.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus never does them

Gallant stops, drops, and rolls

[iRock]

Goofus lit the local Fire Station on fire, so to induce said stopping, dropping, and rolling.

Gallant gives to the poor.

[deadlinejon]

Goofus takes from the poor

Gallant does something nice

[metalkombat]

Goofus does something bad, related to the nice act Gallant committed.

Gallant listens to his music at a respectable volume, so as not to disturb his neighbors.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus is now deaf.

Gallant gets all A's in school.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus failed Kindergarden 7 times

Gallant steals items without being noticed.

[yogurtmano86753090]

Goofus exists.

whoops

goofus tells said store over the intercom that he is stealing

gallant doesnt make random pictures out of dashes and dots when talking on the forum

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Neither does Goofus. He makes them out of hyphens and dollar signs.

Gallant speaks the English language properly.

[iRock]

gfz hnds n ll f hs kndrgrtn ssgnmnts wtht ny vwlz pncttn r grmmr crrctnss whtsvr n stff bt h dz hv smlys :)

Reading what I just wrote makes me want to sob quietly. *proceeds to do so*

Gallant uses good sportsmanship.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus once shot a man because he attempted to steal second base.

Gallant is healthy and active.

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus believes that the fatter you are, the more physically fit you are.

Gallant's spit is sold in south America as a wonder drug.

[King of The CheatSmith]

Goofus's crap is sold all aroung the world as a AIDS cure.

Gallant licks the tiniest of babies before kidnapping them.

[DarkStar Runner]

Goofus devours the littlest babies before blaming the disappearance on a kidnapper.

Galliant doesn't overdose on drugs.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus overdoses other people on drugs.

Gallant is a productive member of society and rakes in big bucks.

[iRock]

Goofus took a job as a crash test dummy, and uses the medium-in-weight bucks he rakes in to pay for his extensive injuries.

Gallant blows his nose into a tissue.

[Strongsadioware]

Goofus shoots the tissue and it's whole family and blames it on the dog.

Gallant dosen't get beat into the head with Marzipan's guitar.

[King of The CheatSmith]

Goofus beats the realm of space and time with marzipan's guitar

Gallant yells only at his carpet.

[Snicklin]

This is starting to drift away from the original rules. Gallant does good stuff and Goofus does the bad version of what Gallant does.

Gallant washes his dad's car, even when his dad doesn't ask him to.

[Strongsadioware]

Goofus cleans out his dad's car-with a sludgehammer.

Gallant listens to Christian rock, rap, and the like.

[iRock]

Goofus' music style shows that he openly worships Satan.

Gallant always says "please" and "thank you".

[Strongsadioware]

Goofus always says "GIMME!" and "EFF YOU!"

Gallant is a Pacifist and decides to not join the Strong Badian army, but cheer it on.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus IS the army!!

Gallant is careful not to say anything that could offend anyone.

[metalkombat]

Goofus spends half of every day thinking of new ways to offend everyone.

Gallant loves tofu.

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus once ate a live cow.

Gallant cleans the fungus out of his toes daily.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus Eats fungus from his toes daily

Gallant has a party with permission from his parents

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus gets his parents' permission for parties, too... except he uses a shotgun.

Gallant appreciates art, both modern and classic.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus appreciates vandalism, both modern and classic. Especially when it's stained blood.

Gallant looks both ways before he crosses the street.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus runs over Gallant either way

Gallant tries not to swear

[iRock]

Goofus harshly offends everyone he meets, using only his language.

Gallant goes to sleep at a reasonable time every night.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus goes to sleep at about lunchtime. He then stays up all night at raves.

Gallant makes sure to tie his shoes.

[iRock]

Goofus sure wishes he could afford something as nice as shoooes...

Gallant wears all the latest styles.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus is still wearing a devo hat

Gallant respects Goofus' decisions

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus yells at Gallant for deciding crap, like not urinating in his Kitten's water bowl.

Gallant has pants on.

EDIT: Wow. I was just looking at a Wikipedia article on The Amazing Transparent Man, the MST3K episode, and I just read the "Obscure References", and included is "Goofus pisses me off." Oh, the irony of timing.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus streaks. Frequently.

Gallant likes to take the stairs instead of the elevator.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

...because Goofus broke the elevator. Everywhere.

Gallant dresses properly.

[metalkombat]

Goofus doesn't dress at all.

Gallant plays Scrabble.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus plays "Teach The Alphabet to Lil' Bobby By Shoving Wooden Letter Tiles Into His Esophagus".

Gallant Makes sure to eat edible things.

[DarkStar Runner]

Goofus is currently on competition with the KOT.

Galliant uses his talents to paint beautiful murals.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus uses Gallant's talents to earn Royalties by drawing a Smiley-Face in a corner of the mural.

Gallant is against cults that associate themselves with certain colors. (http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Happy_Happyism)

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus is in a cult that uses fire as solutions

Gallant often uses the shower

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus broke the pipes in his house, so he has to wait til it rains to take a shower.

Gallant picks up items that other people have dropped and returns them to the lost-and-found.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus picks up items people haven't lost and sells them to the Lost-and-Found.

When playing games where you insert names, Gallant inserts actual names.

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus inserts crap like fjwkfjdnndddj and fjdneqjrjpsmqbr and maybe djfkskaebdiajeb.

Gallant is the teachers personal assistant.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus is the teacher's personal Torturer until after summer, as Goofus cannot pass Kindergarten, but always seems to take Gallant down with him.

Gallant can draw things that don't take a minute to realize what they are.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus has been just scribbling on paper for years. Even for school drawing assignments.

Gallant uses a hybrid car.

[pizzapuma]

goofus uses one two- a hybrid of a monster truck and a cigar.

gallant helps hippies

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

NessGoofus once beat a hippy up just for having a peace sign on his shirt.

Gallant is a very resourceful person and knows how to handle many situations.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus tries to MacGyver it

Gallant helps mentally disabled people

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus does too- Goofus helps them with his mental health line. His Mental-Health line usually tells them to get drunk.

Gallant helps people find their contact lenses.

[someguyfromazoo]

Can you say BUUUMMMMP!?!?!

[Darkblade07]

Can you say BUUUMMMMP!?!?!
...uhhh yeah....Bump
Gallant helps people find their contact lenses.
Goofus poops on peoples contact lenses

Gallant does his homework

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus doesn't even go to school.

Gallant is mature around girls.

[iRock]

Goofus has never come within 100 yards of a girl due to his immature behavior. Not even his mom. (wait, what?)

Gallant keeps his home well lit, so as to keep away robbers and thieves.

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus live with a family of bats in a cave. Course, robbers wouldn't want to steal from a cave, anyway.

Gallant watches appropietly rated movies.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus has never seen anything below an R-rating.

Gallant manages his schedule very well.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus has a dentist appointment and a date at the same

Gallant goes to church

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus goes to the Church of Satanism.

Gallant is sure to eat his vegetables.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus destroyed the Bi-Lo so he wouldn't need to eat them.

Gallant waits in line.

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus literaly CUTS the line. Like, he takes a pair of giant sciccsers and cuts everyone in half.

Gallant uses coupons to save money.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus uses a shotgun to save money.

Gallant doesn't do drugs, and wouldn't even know where to get them.

[deadlinejon]

Goofus is made out of drugz.

Gallant likes his steak well done, and always tips.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus sends his steak back at least four times, then literally tips the waitress.

Gallant is respectful to others over the internet.

[Snicklin]

Goofus preys on little girls over the internet.

Gallant has a good education and does good in school.

[Darkblade07]

Goofus is 27 and still in kindergarten

Gallant doesn't laugh at dirty jokes

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus learned his vocabulary from dirty jokes.

Gallant lives in his parent's house.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus is his parents wait.... what?

Gallant is in a band

[Darkblade07]

goofus pirates all of gallants songs

gallant has had his flu shots

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus eats his flu shots- wait, uh?

Gallant feeds pigeons bread crumbs.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus poisons pigeons in the park

Gallant doesn't believe in monsters, zombies, or aliens

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus is a Zombie Monster bred by aliens to disprove Gallant's theory.

Gallant does not Dare to be Stupid. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nIlFsERnmk&feature=related)

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus likes to do everything in that song. At the same time.

Gallant does his homework and turns it in on time, sometimes earlier than he needs to.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus once turned in a Kindergarten assignment four years late.

Gallant is not overly sarcastic.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus is not sarcastic. He is the embodiment of sarcasm itself.

Gallant refrains from running around shirtless outside. Especially in winter.

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus runs around shirtless all the time, wearing boxing gloves and exclaiming "holy crap!"

Gallant doesn't force his parents into debt from ordering expencive foods at resturants.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus runs his parents into debt by buying expensive, useless crap.

Gallant washes his hands every time he finishes using the toilet.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus neither flushes the toilet nor washes his hands.

Gallant is not a Communist.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus started the Cold War.

Gallant does not drink while he drives.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus's liver is drowning in alcohol

Gallant uses clean utensils to cook

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus works at Burger King.

Gallant is taking a course in foreign languages.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus' language skills started most of the wars in known history.

Gallant has strong muscles.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus has a strong pair of pants to handle his ridiculous obesity.

Gallant cannot grasp the true form of Giygas' attack.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

That's because Goofus just poured salt in Gallant's eyes.

Gallant knows how to properly defend himself.

[Guy in a Box]

In the heat of battle, Goofus falls to the ground and starts crying for his mommy.

Gallant cooks the food for his family.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus cooks his family

Gallant tutors Goofus

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus ties a wooden board to his little brothers knee, so every time his brother takes a step, it lowers his SAT score.

Gallant saves children in need of help.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus says "Well, they are just kids."

Gallant washes his dog every now and then.

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus has names for all of his dog's fleas.

Gallant always wears his wrist strap while playing Wii.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus has gone through six TVs in the past month.

Gallant turns the lights off when he leaves a room.

[Maxilyah]

Goofus causes 6 power blackouts a day.

Gallant smiles at everyone he meets.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus swears at everyone he meets.

Gallant can use PSI.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus can use PB&J.

Gallant goes back through his tests after he finishes them to see if he made any errors.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus goes through Gallant's test to see if he made any errors.

Gallant forgets about his trauma.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus causes most trauma

Gallant works at a movie theater selling memorabilia

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus sells Gallant's memorabilia at a higher price to fat, sweaty, glasses-wearing fan-peoples.

Gallant personally puts a piece of soap in his mouth when he swears, not that he does.

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus has invented 7 of the thirteen bad words.

Gallant doesn't give his friends heart attacks by scareing then while they're sleeping.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus usually wakes his friends and family by shaking them vigorously and shouting "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Gallant says "Excuse me" whenever he burps or passes gas.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus says "BWAHAHAHA! I AM SCREWING THE ECOSYSTEM!"

Gallant entertains himself when he is trapped on a satellite in space being forced to watch crappy movies.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus doesn't get that reference

Gallant doesn't kill Spy-Crabs

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus doesn't get that reference.

Gallant helps people learn the meaning of the reference. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Science_Theater_3000)

[StinkomanFan]

(I know the reference I'm just making a joke)

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus doesn't get that reference.

Gallant helps people learn the meaning of the reference. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Science_Theater_3000)


Goofus says, "Screw you! Find it out yourself!!"

Gallant cleans his ears so his iPod headphones don't get all earwaxy.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus steals Gallants earphones to put them in his ears. And just so you know... Goofus is the leading producer of Earwax.

If Gallant had a time machine in his possesion, he would solve problems.
(Sorry if I'm breaking rules, but Goofus would do things (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kwya_J45puI&feature=PlayList&p=C32ED96800B7A8B9&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=1) like (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AohdfCuF6Hc&feature=related) this. (Note this was caused, not made.) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQGr4vu2b40&feature=related) MOTHER 3 SPOILER WARNING!)

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus is also known as Biff Tannen.

Gallant is willing to accept and consider other people's theories about TV shows/movies, however stupid they may be.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus is thought of an opinion Nazi.

Gallant does...good things? Running out of brain fuel here.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus messes them up

Gallant gives someguyfromazoo some brain fuel

[pizzapuma]

goofus gives someguyfromazoo some FOSSIL fuel

gallant always eats his veggies

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus doesn't, nor does he eat meat. He is what they call "a Twinkietarian."

Gallant has a college education.

[pizzapuma]

goofus is only educated by that site with made-up dust bunny facts

gallant reads 8-bit theater

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus makes pornographic fan art of Kid Radd.

Gallant keeps up to date with all of his favorite webcomix.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus reads his favorite comics backwards.

If Gallant's sister was captured by a witch, Gallant would save her at all costs. Eve if this meant going through haunted mansions, A toilet, an oil ship, a winter world, witch doctor changing him into various animals and items,and a Board Game where you get questions right or DIE. (COOKIE FOR WHO GETS THE REFERENCE.)

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus doesn't get that reference.

Gallant buys eco-friendly equipment.

[StinkomanFan]

Goofus uses the ocean as his personal Nuclear waste dump

Gallant tries not to ninja someone on forums

[Ray-The-Sun]

Gallant uses his N1NJ4 SK1LLS!! to kill people with bricks.

Gallant doesn't demand rare to release Banjo Threeie.

Also:
If Gallant's sister was captured by a witch, Gallant would save her at all costs. Eve if this meant going through haunted mansions, A toilet, an oil ship, a winter world, witch doctor changing him into various animals and items,and a Board Game where you get questions right or DIE. (COOKIE FOR WHO GETS THE REFERENCE.)

That's the main plot of Banjo Kazooie.

[someguyfromazoo]

*claps*
Goofus threatens Rare with a golf club while wearing a Grunty mask.

Gallant doesn't approve of Necromancy.

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus has no idea what the crap that is.

Gallant can't think of something good to write here.

[rollercoasterocker]

Goofus helps Gallant write something.(Wait, what?)
Gallant hugs trees.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus lights trees on fire.

Gallant is patient when people's mental clocks are two weeks off. Like Reid Young.

[El Butcherino]

Goofus pretends to be a clock because he thinks it will make him popular with THE LADIEZZZ

Gallant goes to the bathroom to pick his nose

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus picks it in public and says, ''mmm.... delicious....u want some?"

Gallant is the alter ego of "Captain Niceperson," a superhero that fights the forces of not-niceness.

[pizzapuma]

goofus is the main bad guy in the caiptain nicperson show/ comics.

gallant likes pie.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus throws pie in people's faces.

Gallant won the Nobel Peace Prize seventeen times.

[pizzapuma]

goofus won the nobel world destruction prize from gozer (from ghostbusters) 999 times.

gallant built things that don't exist.

[Darkblade07]

goofus likes to maniacly laugh while he points out your punctuation mistakes

gallant gives to the poor

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus gives the poor some...death.

Gallant isn't gay.

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus is ha-[the following description of something that goofus does cannot be shown, for it is rated NC-17.]-unch.

Gallant places tiny mints on the pillows of the rooms at the hotel that he works at.

[Darkblade07]

goofus craps all over pillows at the hotel he doesn't work at

gallant doesn't kill zombies, he tries to find a cure

[pizzapuma]

gooofus shoots everyone he meets and screams "DIE ZOMBIE!"

gallant tries to fix that one guy whos face got broken in the vending machine's face

[Darkblade07]

goofus sits back and yells, don't hurt the machine

Gallant lives in a secure home

[the_napoleon]

Goofus makes a living by breaking into secure homes and robbing them.

Gallant makes candles and food to give to the poor.

[Darkblade07]

goofus gives wax food and jello candles to the poor

gallant eats a healthy breakfast

[deadlinejon]

goofus eats a wealthy breakfeast of gold. the milk is molten money!

gallant is best bros with goofus.

[PariahKing]

Goofus is best bros with Satan.

Gallant say the alphabet backwards.

[the_napoleon]

Goofus' favorite song is "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, and is a Satanist.

Gallant opens the door for other people.

[PariahKing]

Goofus uses other people as doors - after he hollows out their bodies of course.

Gallant can divide by zero.

[Darkblade07]

goofus does a drug called ZeRo (sry, that was a lame one)

gallant doesn't drink drugs or smoke beer

[PariahKing]

Goofus IS a drug.

Gallant is gallant.

[Snicklin]

Goofus is a complete monster.

Gallant shows passion to his fellow co-workers and boss.

[The Mighty M]

Goofus likes to put chewing gum in their gloves

[The Mighty M]

gallant eats with his mouth closed

[Darkblade07]

goofus cut off his lips, so he couldn't eat with his mouth closed...ewww

gallant is a vegitarian

[Strongsadioware]

Goofus ate the world's largest whopper 9 times.

Gallant buys Telltale Games products.

[PariahKing]

Goofus pirates Telltale games products - and sells them on Ebay.

Gallant is a pioneer in heart surgery.

[Mad Mary]

Goofus is a pioneer in heartbreaking.

Gallant helps old Ladies crossing the street.

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus shoves old ladies into cars.

Gallant can fly.

[Mad Mary]

Goofus can't even walk.
Alternately: Goofus shoots anything flying from the sky.

Goofus steels toys and pocket money from little children.

[Snicklin]

Goofus also steals toys and pocket money from little children.

Galland brushes his teeth at least twice a day.

[Strongsadioware]

Goofus's toothbrush is a bone. He brushes his team -1 times a day.

Gallant watches cartoons, but stops watching them at a reasonable time.

[StrongBadinator]

goofus watches cartoons and stay up till 32:73 a.m.. Wait, what?

Gallant turns over every 15 minutes while he lies on the beach.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus turns over every 50 minutes while he lies on a tanning bed.

Gallant doesn't at McDonald's.

[Mad Mary]

Goofus orders ten burgers, a whole pound of fries with mayonnaise and a gallon of coke daily.

Gallant never cheats or uses walkthroughs when playing adventure games.

[someguyfromazoo]

I'm Goofus. I freaking do.
Gallant isn't interested in the idea of profit in prostitution.

[Mad Mary]

Neither is Goofus. He's doing it just for fun.

Gallant eats an apple a day.

[CageyJay]

Goofus eats an ocelot a day.


Gallant makes certain that if he reshelves a library book through which he was browsing, it always ends up in the right place.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus rearranges books, and makes sure Scientology books go into the Horror section.

Gallant is patriotic.

[CageyJay]

Goofus is only in it for the hot dogs and fireworks.


Gallant changes the toilet paper roll when it runs out.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus laces Gallant's TP with LSD.

Gallant knows his teacher allergic to peanuts, but doesn't use it to his advantage.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus once replaced all of the food in his teacher's house with peanuts.

Gallant doesn't play video games that have too high a rating.

[tredlow]

Goofus doesn't play videogames at all. His day-to-day activities are already rated R for use of alcohol, drug abuse, excessive violence, strong language, The Poopsmith and a graphic scene of The Paper.

Gallant will not join the dark side, despite his father being a VIP member in it.

[Darkblade07]

Goofus is so into the dark side they call him "Teh PrimeMinister of Sinister" TF2LOLOLOL!!!

Gallant doesn't read bad magizines

[tredlow]

Goofus also have good magazines. They're in the toilet, but they're not for reading.

-------------------------

Gallant is modest.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Goofus once took credit for the JFK assassination.

Gallant recycles his paper and soda cans.

[zombiemaniac]

Goofus does too, but he pees in his first.


Gallant kisses cats.

[Darkblade07]

goofus eats cats.

gallant never bathes and smells like cruh-ap!

[Strongsadioware]

Goofus beats up Gallant for taking his routine.

Gallant doesn't look at porn.

[zombiemaniac]

Goofus takes pictures of porn.


Gallant gets arrested only ONCE every day.

[Darkblade07]

goofus doesn't get arrested at all, he escapes the police evryday

gallant stays on the computer 3 hours a week

[LowMoralFiber]

Goofus spends upwards of nine hours on the computer a DAY, and he's using all that time to flood the Monkey Island board with topics about when Episode 4 is coming out!

Gallant's Halloween costume is family friendly and highly visible at night!

[zombiemaniac]

Goofus gets hit by 15 cars every halloween!

Gallant milks cows while KNOWING that you are supposed to milk girl cows

[StrongBadinator]

Goofus......does the opposite.

Gallant treats his Sims kindly and feeds them when needed.

[Fealiks]

Goofus uses 'moveobjects_on' to put the mailmen and passing neighbours in a small box with a fireplace so that they inevitably burn.

Gallant always gives pedestrians the right of way.

[deadlinejon]

goofus runs them over GTA style.

Gallant is not a filthy pirate.

[LowMoralFiber]

Goofus drinks Grog XD!!!

Gallant always roleplays as a Lawful Good Paladin!

[zombiemaniac]

Goofus always roleplays as himself killing gallant. (wait, what...)

Gallant always appears in Highlight's "gallant kids" (I still get highlights... and by the way, goofus and gallant is still in it! "That's a dumb game," says Goofus. Gallant congratulates the winner. "Cool! Now I don't have to wait in line," says Goofus. Gallant waits his turn. xD that was this issues!)

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus will as well. BURNING THE SOULS OF THOSE CHILDREN.
Gallant remembers to Buckle Up, like Sam & Max told him to.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Goofus chokes innocent bystanders with his belt buckle.

Gallant signed up for a place in a Vault-tec vault.

[someguyfromazoo]

Goofus did too. BUT THE GOOFUS IS A SPY.
Gallant doesn't beat the Yellow Devil (http://megaman.wikia.com/wiki/Yellow_Devil) using the Lightning Trick.

[Ray-The-Sun]

Gallant defeats the yellow devil by using a Gameshark.

When Goofus raps, he uses non-racist lyrics.

[zombiemaniac]

Um... You got them mixed up, LOL!

Same with Goofus, but Goofus uses cuss words.

Gallant doesn't spam with smilies in forums

[Guy in a Box]

Goofus doesn't either. He spams people with rocket launchers. (Don't ask how this is possible)

Gallant welcomes old forumgoers back when they've been gone for a long time.

[zombiemaniac]

Goofus kills old forumgoers when they come back. (with a bazooka by the way!)

Gallant eats pie with a knife and fork.

[Snicklin]

Goofus eats pie with a belt buckle.

Gallant is against urban violence and substance abuse.

[Andorxor]

Goofus is too and fires his rocket launcher at every violent or drunk person he sees while drinking his whiskey

Gallant never forgets to put the toilet seat down

[The Mighty M]

Goofus revives the thread

Gallant always holds the door open for people as they pass

[tredlow]

Goofus says "The dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Udun! Go back to the shadow. You shall not pass!"

Gallant became a superhero after he realizes he's from Krypton and has superhuman qualities.

[Remolay]

Goofus says, "Kneel before Zod."

Gallant always drinks in moderation.

[Klatuu]

Goofus always drinks in his underwear.

Gallant volunteers time at a soup kitchen.

[MichaelDearmanUK]

Goofus ties up volunteers and leaves them hanging precariously over a cauldron of scalding hot soup.

Gallant escorts sweet old ladies across the road.

[tredlow]

Goofus dresses as an old lady so that boyscouts try to help him cross the road, but then reveals his true self at the end, so that the boyscout doesn't get his badge, because Goofus is not an elderly.

Gallant doesn't believe in photoshop, for it is a sin to fabricate from the truth.

[Remolay]

Goofus put a picture online of him killing a dragon with a "Beautiful" woman.


Gallant never spams audiochat with songs or voice clips.

[The Mighty M]

Goofus plays "Baby" by Justin Bieber. Over and over again.

Gallant donates money to Cancer Research UK

[Klatuu]

Studies show that Goofus causes cancer in lab rats.

Gallant visits his dentist twice a year.

[tredlow]

This is Goofus. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY1FwwzqWhs)

Gallant doesn't bastardize his previous works by making special editions of them.

[deadlinejon]

Goofus is the maker of final fantasy (OOOOOOOH!)

Gallant Listens to the proper cd's, and only when its appropriate.

[tredlow]

Goofus listens to Justin Bieber at every inappropriate time, which is every time.

Gallant is not cowardly BLU spy.

[Remolay]

Goofus just stabbed Gallant in the Bac*Is stabbed*


Gallant always stops eating when he is full, and never takes eating challenges.

[tredlow]

Goofus exploded after lunch. No one came to his funeral, because no one loved him.

Gallant bought his father a fancy limousine to add to his collection of fancy things.

[Klatuu]

Goofus bought his father a mysterious package that's ticking, and then he left the house quickly.

Gallant appreciates fine art and culture.

[tredlow]

Goofus rearranges the words "fine art" into "fart", and then laughs. Then he realized that this is the first time he felt happiness in years, and then shot himself.

Gallant thanked everyone when he received the award for best person ever, especially Jesus, which was also nominated.

[Ribs]

Goofus threw his brother into a Murder River.

Gallant wants an Ice Cream Sandwich.

[Klatuu]

Goofus wants a Baby Sandwich.

Gallant has a productive career writing Point & Click adventure games.

[Remolay]

Goofus just finished work on Call of Duty: We want more of your money.



Gallant has a petition to bring Invader Zim back on the air

[Klatuu]

Goofus is the president of a network that shows "All 'Jersey Shore', All the Time".

Gallant recycles material such as newspaper and aluminium cans.