The ToMI sucks thread. [Archive] - Telltale Games Forums

View Full Version : The ToMI sucks thread.

onlyamonkey

07/05/2009, 04:55 am

Ok. Countdown. Time to start downplaying the game so our expectations aren't too high. There's no competing with nostalgia so we need to do this.

ToMI sucks because I just ate a carrot.

[Hunter.Wolf]

07/05/2009, 04:57 am

ToMI will suck because....

...because...

...damn this is harder than I thought.

Tim

07/05/2009, 05:08 am

ToMI will suck because..

..apparently ToMI stands for (http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/TOMI):

Tools Development of Basic Electronic System Design Automation

Now that has to be the worst acronym ever invented, since it isn't one even (strictly speaking).

Do we want the worst acronym for our beloved pirate game? I think not.

Silverwolfpet

07/05/2009, 05:10 am

ToMI sucks because...
...
... there's a monkey in my pocket.

[Hunter.Wolf]

07/05/2009, 05:13 am

... there's a monkey in my pocket.
So... did you get it back from LeChuck?

prizna

07/05/2009, 05:13 am

ToMI sucks because...

... I can't think of a reason for it to suck.

Juicius Maximus

07/05/2009, 05:16 am

ToMI sucks because I'm not 12 anymore. What the hell am I supposed to do here guys, just drop everything for the next 6 months? It'll start when I can no longer afford quality snacks for my ToMI play sessions. And it'll end with me pawning this computer for a puptent, my new home and sole possession. So thanks a lot Telltale, for releasing this game about 15 years too late, thus bringing utter ruination to my adult life.

Silverwolfpet

07/05/2009, 05:19 am

;145503']So... did you get it back from LeChuck?

Hee-hee-hee... Stan tryed to sell me another one. Emphasis on tryed.

Silverwolfpet

07/05/2009, 05:20 am

So thanks a lot Telltale, for releasing this game about 15 years too late, thus bringing utter ruination to my adult life.

Ummm, you know that this thread is supposed to be funny... as in there is no real reason to say that ToMI sucks... as in what's with the rant?

GozzoMan

07/05/2009, 05:23 am

ToMI sucks because...

... it will be the best game ever, and it will be a real problem to have any other new game done because we will have a pandemic of depressed game makers because of comparison and unbearable envy :D

Heck, will anyone please think of the game-makers?? :D

Juicius Maximus

07/05/2009, 05:25 am

Ummm, you know that this thread is supposed to be funny... as in there is no real reason to say that ToMI sucks... as in what's with the rant?

The rant was surely intended to be funny. As far as it actually succeeding at said goal...

Mad Mary

07/05/2009, 05:26 am

Tomi sucks because he's a non-Telltale character and thus does not belong here.

ToMI sucks because my notebook does.

ToMI sucks because the weather's way too hot and steamy.

Silverwolfpet

07/05/2009, 05:27 am

The rant was surely intended to be funny. As far as it actually succeeding at said goal...

My apologies... :)

onlyamonkey

07/05/2009, 05:30 am

I thought you rant was funny.

But srsly, ToMI sucks because I will not go to sleep untill I beat it. Addictive personality ftl.

Juicius Maximus

07/05/2009, 05:31 am

ToMI sucks because it inspired some jerk to start this thread

EDIT: And thanks!

onlyamonkey

07/05/2009, 05:31 am

ToMI sucks because it inspired some jerk to start this thread

But I know you listen to hiphop.

Juicius Maximus

07/05/2009, 05:32 am

But of course!

onlyamonkey

07/05/2009, 05:34 am

But of course!

Your "song in hell" rhyme in the Insult thread revealed you. You probably even have written some lyrics yourself.

Leak

07/05/2009, 05:36 am

ToMI sucks because it'll be released the same day that my copy of Street Fighter 4 will probably show up. Come on Telltale, release it on Monday!!1!elf :D

np: Masha Qrella - I´M Stranger Here Myself (Speaklow (Loewe And Weill In Exile))

prizna

07/05/2009, 05:37 am

ToMI sucks because...
... I went out and bought a Monkey to celebrate the release of the game and he just challenged me to Monkey Combat

onlyamonkey

07/05/2009, 05:40 am

ToMI sucks because...
... I went out and bought a Monkey to celebrate the release of the game and he just challenged me to Monkey Combat

Slam dat fool wit sum eek eek ooks and he'll be murdered dead.

Marduk

07/05/2009, 05:40 am

Tomi sucks because it's a brand of children's toys which, tbh, have parts too small to be allowed in the hands of small children.

ToMI sucks because it needs to come with a shot of free grog (SMI recipe).

hamzie

07/05/2009, 05:44 am

TomI will suck because one month is too long to wait between episodes especially since one epi can be completed in 4 5 hours

true story

/thread

THREAD LOCKED

giant_frying_pan

07/05/2009, 05:46 am

It will suck because it's not designed specifically for use with a trackball and a USB rubber chicken!

Mad Mary

07/05/2009, 05:51 am

ToMI sucks because I waste too much time in this forum.
ToMI sucks because I wrote some insults which I can't translate into my native language properly.
ToMI sucks because I pre-ordered it before I even knew if it will run on my notebook. (It probably will, albeit a bit slow.)
ToMI sucks because it made me forget about that RPG, well, almost.
ToMI sucks because I am using a MI-SE wallpaper as my desktop background now.
ToMI sucks because if you'd ask me today, I'd tell you that my favorite game character is Guybrush Threepwood.

Shmeh

07/05/2009, 07:17 am

Leak

07/05/2009, 07:18 am

realchris

07/05/2009, 08:16 am

cause the Guy from italy is right. The other gamedevelopers have to compare with. :-)

onlyamonkey

07/05/2009, 08:50 am

TMI sucks because...

-W&G controls suck
-the DVD won't play in a UK PC
-LeChuck is a woman
-the game isn't in 2D
-the DVD won't play all episodes continuously
-it isn't on PS3
-MI:SE looks so much better
-it doesn't have insult swordfighting
-Stan and Murray aren't in it
-not everyone has credit cards
-you suck

- And ToMI will have different controls.
- So? Just dl the episodes.
- You fell for that? You're dumb.
- No, it's in 3d LDO. It's what made the making possible.
- Ok, if it's true then that's kinda bad.
- Whatever, stay true to the art and play it on PC.
- Yeah, Guybrush like a doofus zombie looks rly good srsly. Have you seen how he walks? You're taste needs heavy refining.
- I haven't played any episode yet, neither have you. It may contain insult swordfighting in another form.
- You don't know that.
- Well, anyone lacking credit card in this day and age could surely persuade his/her parents to pay up.
- I disagree.

Rubarack

07/05/2009, 10:05 am

ToMI will suck because TellTale's format of light and simple adventuring with gentle humour will seem incongruous with a series so many of us cherish. The little differences will gnaw away, incapable of living up to the standards the originals set and nostalgia hardened. This will turn to disappointment and leave the experience hollow, creating a deep resentment.

Damn I'm good at Devil's Advocate. Only 2 days, woot!

Leak

07/05/2009, 10:35 am

*snip*
Epic sarcasm detector FAIL.

np: Silkie - Dam 4 (Soul Jazz Records Singles 2008-2009 (Disc 2))

Secret Fawful

07/05/2009, 11:12 am

TOMI will suck because....

..halfway through the game, you'll find out that Monkey Island is a hologram for being a pirate in a piratey adventure, sitting in a cantina in the Star Wars world.

Kenif

07/05/2009, 11:21 am

Guybrush has scurvy.

Everlast

07/05/2009, 11:28 am

TOMI sucks because i had to spend $30+ buck on buying it and now i feel like saving and not subscribing to WoW

Mad Mary

07/05/2009, 11:35 am

ToMI sucks because I won't be able to think of anything else before Tuesday.
ToMI sucks because I won't be able to stop playing until I finished the episode.
ToMI sucks because I'll throw my notebook out of the window if the game does not run properly.
ToMI sucks because at dA I ignore the 400 deviations from friends and search for MI fanart instead.

der_ketzer

07/05/2009, 11:47 am

ToMI sucks because I have to wait a month between Episodes.

onlyamonkey

07/05/2009, 12:43 pm

Epic sarcasm detector FAIL.

np: Silkie - Dam 4 (Soul Jazz Records Singles 2008-2009 (Disc 2))
He was def serious.

thesporkman

07/05/2009, 12:54 pm

ToMI will suck because of diffusion. See, the game will have a lower concentration of matter than its surrounding environment, and erm...

Mysterysheep

07/05/2009, 01:12 pm

TMI sucks because...

-the DVD won't play in a UK PC

Actually, it will.

Leak

07/05/2009, 01:22 pm

Actually, it will.
Just for the record - Shmeh, whom you quoted, just listed all kinds of things other people have written about here on the forum in the last few days, most of which (like this one) have already been refuted.

That looks very much like sarcasm to me, which would be quite what this thread as a whole intended... *hint hint*

np: Evil Nine - Icicles ft. Seraphim (They Live!)

SurplusGamer

07/05/2009, 01:33 pm

He was def serious.

Um... no, no he wasn't.

SHODANFreeman

07/05/2009, 01:36 pm

ToMI will suck because I think that any game that isn't exactly the same as games I've already played in the past can't possibly be any good.

Oh and graphics DEFINITELY matter for Monkey Island, I mean a game can't possibly be fun or worth playing if it doesn't look like real life. The original Secret of Monkey Island had photorealistic graphics and you could see every hair on Guybrush's head blowing in the wind, these new graphics are so lazy compared to the level of realism in previous games in the series.

And what is with Guybrush? Don't they know he's really Japanese and a master of kung fu? Now he's some scrawny blonde white guy? Man, no respect for the source material.

I also think it's a big mistake to have this game be controlled by throwing rocks at your monitor. I mean, why do they have to force these horrible control schemes on us? I haven't actually read anything about the game or watched any trailers for it, but I assume that since some other game might have involved this control scheme, that this game DEFINITELY uses it. I lost the rock throwing championship 10 years ago and now this game is forcing me to relive those painful memories with its horrendous and archaic control scheme.

One more thing that will make it suck is that it's not a first person shooter, I know the other games were all third person point and click adventure games, but I mean what is the point of having 3d graphics if I'm not able to shoot everything on screen to death? Isn't that what 3d was invented for?

These game developers, they just don't get it. I mean, they obviously have never played an adventure game and they have no idea what they're doing. Why don't they just let random people on message boards design the game? Angry masses on message boards are never wrong about anything. Ever.

MOKKA

07/05/2009, 01:40 pm

Let me try this:

Tales of Monkey Island (I just can't stand Acronyms on the Internet) will suck because...

...a few hours after its release, thousands of "not very nice people" (you can replace this with more unpolite words if you like) will swarm over this forum and Ron Gilberts Blog (poor Ronnie) and start complaining about it. That it's not "their" Monkey Island, because of the Graphics and so on. Giving me the urge to eat my desk and punch my face at the same time.

Ok, many people are complaining about this stuff already (or had complained about this), but after the release, their will be much more people than now.

Oh and it will suck, because none of my friends play Adventure games, so there is no one around to talk about hte jokes.

onlyamonkey

07/05/2009, 02:15 pm

Um... no, no he wasn't.

Ok, then neither was I.

Cyphox

07/05/2009, 02:37 pm

tomi will suck cause the sex-scene between guybrush and elaine right in front of a distraughted le chuck won't make in the final release....

SHODANFreeman

07/05/2009, 02:40 pm

tomi will suck cause the sex-scene between guybrush and elaine right in front of a distraughted le chuck won't make in the final release....

But it'll be available on the disc, you just need to use a hack to get to it.

Hot Grog, anyone?

Shmeh

07/06/2009, 05:15 am

Just in case you wanted to hear it from me to believe it.....yes, the post was a joke. It's a gag thread so I didn't think it needed a smiley to make it obvious. :)

Toothless Gibbon

07/06/2009, 05:28 am

Oh and it will suck, because none of my friends play Adventure games, so there is no one around to talk about hte jokes.

Thats what we're here for! ;)

SurplusGamer

07/06/2009, 05:32 am

ToMI will suck because it's not going to be exactly how I imagine in every possible detail.

Tea

07/06/2009, 05:32 am

Hee-hee-hee... Stan tryed to sell me another one. Emphasis on tryed.

What about emphasis on tried ;)

[/grammarandspellingwhore]

PariahKing

07/06/2009, 05:42 am

But it'll be available on the disc, you just need to use a hack to get to it.

Hot Grog, anyone?Actually unleashing the hot grog will reveal not only the secret of Monkey Island but Ron Gilbert's social security number as well.

Guinea

07/06/2009, 06:13 am

...a few hours after its release, thousands of "not very nice people" (you can replace this with more unpolite words if you like) will swarm over this forum and Ron Gilberts Blog (poor Ronnie) and start complaining about it.

I'd do everything to see Ron Gilbert's "real" MI3 in VGA graphics though, and if complaining on his site in an unfriendly way would help that, I'd do it. But it doesn't help anything, so I'll just take TMI instead and enjoy it as much as the other two Non Gilbert MI games. =)
TT did a good job with Sam and Max after all, so why should TMI suck?