Nah, don't get me wrong, I don't hate Carley. I just think she acted stupid at times.
Now let me response in order.
I cannot agree Carley stepped up in any major discussion. Most of what she did was actually "I'm not gonna be part of this" while leaving. Yes, she never spoke her mind to anyone but Lee. When Kenny and Lilly are quarreling, she one of the first to give up. In ep. 3 she comes with "Are you fighting again, guys" not contributing with anything to the discussion. What I am saying is that a person who almost never speaks up decides to speak back in the worst possible scenario.
Now I know that Lilly was quite on edge, but instead of Carley trying to help find the traitor she made it look like as if Lilly was the bad guy there. Carley knew Lee was fond of her and that made her say those bold things. Which is dumb, really. First of all Lilly was really unstable at that point and armed. Secondly, there was a fucking traitor amongst them, and they couldn't have known how lame the reason for that would be. What if Ben was actually a part of the bandit group? They couldn't have known for sure.
I also think that there was a bit of rivalry between Lilly and Carley for Lee's approval. Lilly knew there was a traitor and so did Lee. When Lilly accused Carley, she decided to fight back Lilly instead of proceed with the traitor search. Both of them didn't act as they should, but I would expect Carley to understand the period Lilly is going through. Maybe we could blame a little bit of that on Lee too. He should've shared what happened in the meat locker. I think people would've been much more supportive and careful if they knew.
Also, I appreciate Carley's humanity with "Stop torturing him" but I do believe that finding the traitor is much more important.
It is good to protect people, but when you keep doing it instead of thinking for your own, then we have a problem.
We all appreciate that Carley saved our asses back in ep. 1 but still it was a dumb move that put her group in danger.
Now about Kenny losing his family... that is different. His family died in an accident, they weren't killed by Lee or Lilly. It is entirely different to have a close person die by someone you've trusted. Lilly felt betrayed by Kenny/+Lee ... how were she to feel secure when the two man overpowered her and killed her father because it was "survival".
If it were Carley, I'm pretty sure she would feel vulnerable too.
As for Kenny and his loss, I call it karma. My Lee said "What if it was your family, what if it was Katjaa or Duck" and he said "It won't happen, not if I have anything to do with it".
Well it did happen, and he was such a hypocrite. He was in denial for the most part and risked all our lives because he couldn't accept his son is bitten. Karma's a bitch.
As for Lilly being more Crawford... well I can't agree with that. She didn't like strangers, true, because she had her group to care for. She was thinking of her own, and once a person became a part of the group she didn't kick them because they might become a liability. She didn't kick Ben so that there would be more food for her right? She was against accepting him because her group was starving. She was against accepting Lee and Kenny, because they were men (who later overpower her) and they could be dangerous (some were, apparently). Again, it's looking for her own, nothing like Crawford.
Kenny is more of a Crawford guy, because he's willing to kill or ditch people who he thinks are a detriment/danger to the group (Larry, Lilly, Ben). He was also ready to let that poor girl get eaten in ep.3 so that he could escape more easily.
Yeah, Lilly were scary, because people had no idea what happened in the meat locker. Kenny made sure she looks like the bad insane guy all the time, which was in fact not true at all.
As for Lilly, she was bad ass until the very and even beyond that. She makes mistakes, deals with unpopular decisions, but still she tries to stick to her own.
The motor inn wasn't the best place, but it was something. Not everybody is fortunate to find a prison. Hitting the road in hopes you will find a better place that is not taken by others is again gambling with your lives.