I wish I could.
Also, please do not PM me to complain about something you perceive as "being a dick" or "making an ass out of you". It makes you look like an ass.
So apparently I can have a signature.
Eldritch Fairytales is my novel, about a guy who falls in love with a girl. And she's from a fairy tale. Also, he has to save the world. Use ELDRITCHFAIRYTALESTTG for a free copy (valid through 2018-31-12).