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05/25/2010, 08:04 pm
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#1 |
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Me eat pie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Behind You
Posts: 71
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Jokes!
Anyone had a bad day? Do you need a laugh? Well here you can post and read jokes for your entertainment!
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My last signature was a little obnoxious so I changed it to this. |
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05/25/2010, 08:06 pm
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#2 |
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Me eat pie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Behind You
Posts: 71
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How do you kill a blonde? You stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool!
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My last signature was a little obnoxious so I changed it to this. |
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05/26/2010, 01:44 am
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#3 |
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Has Possum Powers.
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,536
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Why did the little idiot threw butter out the window?
Because he is a little idiot who doesn't understand how anything works and will never fit in to society because society rejects him due to his lack of intelligence, and every time the idiot walks by, everyone will point and laugh at him and call him 'idiot' until he became a depressed outcast and committed suicide. All because he threw some damn butter.
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My Friend: You know, if only Bruce Wayne was bit by a radioactive psychiatrist rather than a bat, Gotham wouldn't even need Arkham Asylum. Me: Haha, yeah. That's true. *Minutes Later* Me: Wait, Bruce Wayne was never bit by a radioactive anything. |
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05/26/2010, 09:27 am
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#4 | |
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Misc. Organs/Limbs/Etc...
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Here and there Rank: God
Posts: 2,369
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Quote:
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05/27/2010, 08:49 am
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#5 |
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Me eat pie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Behind You
Posts: 71
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What is black and white, and read all over... A newspaper! Haha thats a knee slaper
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My last signature was a little obnoxious so I changed it to this. |
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05/27/2010, 11:23 pm
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#6 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Denmark
Posts: 911
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How do make a boys brain look like a pea? You blow it up, and paint it green.
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History Abhors a Paradox. I apologize for any grammatical errors my posts might contain. My Blog Moved to a new blog, no new entries |
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05/28/2010, 12:51 pm
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#7 |
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Does not compute
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Planet Earth(Sol 3) Status: My head asplode
Posts: 1,987
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A squirrel says " I forgot to store me nuts for the winter and now I am dead." haha. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead
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It's Gallifreyan, it doesn't translate Crap I do: Homestar WUW Twitter YouTube Fanfiction.net It says Remolay |
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05/29/2010, 03:03 am
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#8 |
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I need a haircut
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: I come from a land down under!
Posts: 1,287
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a man is taking his son to a pub for his first drink, and his son has no other body parts except a head. the son takes a sip, and grows a body. the dad says 'drink some more, son!' and he drinks more. two arms pop out from his body. he takes another sip. two legs pop out from his body. the son is so excited that he runs out onto the street and gets hit by a semitrailer, killing him instantly. the bartender and the dad rush out to find the son, and the bartender said 'your boy should have quit when he was a head'.
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"There was an old farmer who lived on a rock, he sat in the meadow just shaking his..."-The assumption song. A random youtube search can bring on a big laugh. |
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05/29/2010, 06:05 am
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#9 | |
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Has Possum Powers.
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,536
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Quote:
Anyway; A man was having a financial crisis. His mother is sick, his wife and children starving, and he was living in debt. He needed precisely ten thousand dollars to pay it all off. In a fit of desperation, the man wrote a letter addressed to God. In the letter, he explained his problems in detail, his own identity, and his faith, and asked for ten thousand dollars, which he promises to work off in the future. He then puts it in the mail box. The letter arrived at the local post office. The local post office has a reputation for being careless with their packages; they always arrive either broken, opened, or in perfect condition, but in the wrong address, and their deliveries are quite usually followed by the receiver saying "Damn post office!". When the manager was shown the letter by a confused postman, he decided to do good, so that maybe the post office can finally have a good image. So he called the whole staff and told them to kick in money to give to the poor man. In the end, they managed to accumulate nine thousand dollars. They then put it in an envelope and sent it back to the man, with "God" written as the sender. When the man saw the envelope, he was really happy and amazed. Then he opened it and counted the money. "Hey, there's only nine thousand dollars here! Damn post office!".
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My Friend: You know, if only Bruce Wayne was bit by a radioactive psychiatrist rather than a bat, Gotham wouldn't even need Arkham Asylum. Me: Haha, yeah. That's true. *Minutes Later* Me: Wait, Bruce Wayne was never bit by a radioactive anything. |
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05/29/2010, 07:59 am
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#10 | |
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...is procrastinating
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,498
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Quote:
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Read that instead ^. |
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05/29/2010, 01:45 pm
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#11 |
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Knows Pi backwards.
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 774
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Most of the jokes I know are pretty...edgy. I find these perfectly normal, but since I'm not the best judge, let me know if they're tasteless. They're mostly lame:
How do you keep a blonde busy for a few hours? Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner. How does a blonde try to kill a fish? By drowning it. Why do blondes open the door when using the bathroom? So that people don't look at them through the keyhole. If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? |
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05/29/2010, 04:03 pm
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#12 | |
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The smartest moron
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: under your couch
Posts: 5,951
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Quote:
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Sign up for Tribes:Ascend, its free FOR THE NEWBIES: Blue names=normal member Grey names=community mod(As in, NOT a Telltale employee, they just keep the peace here, that's it.) Red names=actual telltale employees. |
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06/01/2010, 10:52 am
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#13 |
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My name is of many.
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In G land.
Posts: 437
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why did the canibal chicken cross the road? To get some KFC.
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