Sexuality

[BlankCanvasDJ]

Originally Posted by Chyron8472

I waited until afterward on both those issues, and it's worked out just fine.

Of course, if you move in together you're likely to have sex because of how often you're alone (I have hormones. I know this.) And having sex isn't as meaningful without without emotional security.

Sure, if you're already living together and already having sex, then getting married would obviously feel like no more than going through the motions for their own sake.

When I got married, I can't tell you how happy I was. It seriously was the best day of my entire life. Getting married felt special. Even sitting here, thinking about it makes me feel good.


Look... I'm just saying that I know what it was like when I was single. I was lonely and bored a lot. Also, I've been in a relationship before where my attachment made me go too far too quickly, and it was a serious mistake. I got pulled into making decisions that I regret.

You can go ahead and say "to each his own" but I promise you won't get the same fulfillment out of a relationship if you don't wait.

It worked out for you and that's wonderful but it doesn't work out for everyone. Hell, sexual incompatibility is one of the biggest causes of infidelity.

[Chyron8472]

Originally Posted by BlankCanvasDJ

sexual incompatibility is one of the biggest causes of infidelity.

Says who? People stop having sex because they're unhappy, not because he wants to do it on the table when she wants to do it on the bed and they can't compromise.

Lack of communication and problems caused by money are the two biggest reasons why people get divorced. Not because they can't agree on where and in what position to have sex.


And the reason why people have infidelity is because in their moments of unhappiness, they find someone else to whom they can turn emotionally; someone who makes them feel better in a way their spouse does not. This doesn't mean the couple is incompatible; it means that they don't communicate enough about their feelings and what it is that they're looking for to be happy again.

[BlankCanvasDJ]

Originally Posted by Chyron8472

Says who? People stop having sex because they're unhappy, not because he wants to do it on the table when she wants to do it on the bed and they can't compromise.

And that makes some people unhappy.

And the reason why people have infidelity is because in their moments of unhappiness, they find someone else to whom they can turn emotionally; someone who makes them feel better in a way their spouse does not. This doesn't mean the couple is incompatible; it means that they don't communicate enough about their feelings and what it is that they're looking for to be happy again.

Communication is, of course, very important, but not every single problem in a relationship has to do with feelings and communication. Sexuality plays a very important role in a relationship and compatibility should be just as important as personality, intelligence, physical attributes and everything else that you look for in someone when you're determining whether or not they're "the one". Again, you did it differently and it worked out well for you. Congratulations, I think that's wonderful. But that ain't everybody.

[Chyron8472]

Originally Posted by BlankCanvasDJ

And that makes some people unhappy.

I was pointing out that such an issue (about position and location) is a very minor quibble.

Communication is, of course, very important, but not every single problem in a relationship has to do with feelings and communication.

But communication will almost always solve it.

Sexuality plays a very important role in a relationship and compatibility.

Maybe if you're gay and in a straight relationship or vice versa, but beyond that I don't see how the problem can't be solved by talking at length about it. Besides, if that were the real issue, I'd have thought one would have figured it out early on when one's hormones weren't affected by the opposite sex.

Communication doesn't just mean talking about random stuff. It's the emotional connection that's important. The idea that you love each other and you want to make each other happy. You have to open yourself up to being potentially vulnerable, and if you've done so in the past such that they hurt you for it, you have to tell them about it in an honest way without being accusatory.

[BlankCanvasDJ]

Originally Posted by Chyron8472

I was pointing out that such an issue (about position and location) is a very minor quibble.

And I assumed you knew I wasn't actually talking about anything as minor as arguments over whether to have sex on the bed or the dining room table.

Look, we're obviously not going to agree here. You won't convince me and I won't convince you. The point of all this is that different people find happiness in different ways and, as long as nobody is getting hurt, no one should give a damn how, where, or from who that happiness comes from.

[WarpSpeed]

My opinion.

Sex is an important part of any romantic adult relationship, and it's possible for two people to be incompatible in what they want and how often they want sex. It would be nice to know this before getting married. Yes, people do get divorced over this issue.

As far as casual, have sex with the guy on the train and never see him again thing goes, I think that's OK, too. It's a learning experience, hopefully fun, and you'll take something away from it (hopefully using adequate protection to avoid certain somethings). Later on, when you want to settle down with your ideal partner, you'll have a better understanding of what you like, and what is overrated and not so important.

And if you think that's overly slutty, that's OK, too. Everyone has their own opinions of how relationships should be, and no matter what yours is, there's someone out there who agrees with you.

[BlankCanvasDJ]

A kindred spirit! Thank you!

[coolsome]

[Shadowknight1]

Coolsome...thank you. You've made Professor Oak out to be a perv in addition to a massive jerk of a grandfather.

[RetroVortex]

Originally Posted by Shadowknight1

Coolsome...thank you. You've made Professor Oak out to be a perv in addition to a massive jerk of a grandfather.

You realise this now!?

I mean the guy hangs around Ash's mom all the time and has Tracy as his manbitch! I thought it was obvious...

[Scnew]

I know I'm late to the conversation here, but I'm intrigued by the fact that someone who likes Mass Effect enough to make it his forum handle would be so anti-gay at the same time. All three games had lesbian romance options, and 3 had a gay male romance options with both Kaidan and Cortez. Why would you support a game that supports something you're that offended by? Weird.

[Darth Marsden]

I think N7 has left the conversation. (I hope so, anyway)

[coolsome]

What about N8!

[Scnew]

It is weird though, right?

I mean like, I probably wouldn't buy a game if it and it's developers were really pro-baby murder.

... unless maybe it got really good reviews ...

Anyway, I'm glad it passed in so many states and I hope that it winds up here in PA in the near future too. I think I'll probably still go with the hetero option myself, though.

[Shadowknight1]

Originally Posted by RetroVortex

You realise this now!?

I mean the guy hangs around Ash's mom all the time and has Tracy as his manbitch! I thought it was obvious...

Tracy?

[RetroVortex]

Originally Posted by Shadowknight1

Tracy?

Let me sketch your picture.....

[ted12]

Thanks for this thread, guys. I've been dating both genders for a few years, and it's nice knowing that not everyone is completely opposed.

[RetroVortex]

Originally Posted by ted12

Thanks for this thread, guys. I've been dating both genders for a few years, and it's nice knowing that not everyone is completely opposed.

Not at all. Infact I think bisexuals are really cool!
(Best of both worlds eh? I'm jealous! ;D)

[Shadowknight1]

Oh, that guy. Meh, I don't count the anime. Other than a catchy theme song, it broke so many of the games rules that I lost all interest. Great games, crappy tv show. Where Digimon had the opposite, great tv shows, crappy games.

As for the topic at hand, I'm glad tolerance is showing up, but I also agree that the government has no right to restrict marriages to Christian ideals.

[Friar]

Originally Posted by ted12

Thanks for this thread, guys. I've been dating both genders for a few years, and it's nice knowing that not everyone is completely opposed.

Greedy. :-P

But yeah, it's nice that the discussion has remained civil. Given the rich background of ethnicities this forum has, I was expecting more people to be opposed. Or at least someone to try and put forward an argument against homosexuality. It seems most of the western world has accepted (if somewhat begrudgingly) us. Most people now are beginning to understand.