Rate The Last Movie(s) You Watched

[Noname215]

Zero Dark Thirty 8/10

Not as good as Hurt Locker, but still a pretty good manhunt flick.

[Hayden]

'The Watch' - 9%

I was never going to watch this movie; I could deduce that it was going to be complete tripe solely based upon its premise, it's crew, and it's overall presentation in the way it advertised itself. When I saw that it was an all-star grouping of American comedy darlings, which was written and produced by those whose names are attached to titles such as 'Superbad', 'Pink Panther', 'Just Married' and 'Knocked Up', I could tell it was going to be another one of those movies. I could predict that it was going to be another terribly-written, uninspired, clumsily-constructed, poorly-paced 'comedy' that this current generation of American film-makers seem to be pumping out so prolifically.
But it was one of those nights where I was around friends who have a much less refined taste in all areas of media, who are oblivious to obvious indicators of poor quality, and decided that watching this piece of shite was a good idea. And thus I was roped into enduring another crap piece of American comedy that caters to a demographic of devolved sub-beings of which I am gladly not a part of.
This film blunders out of the gate, verifying my misgivings within the first ten minutes, by substituting vulgarity where there is no wit to be found, by delivering a constant stream of try-hard humour, and by relying upon established funny-men to liven up a script that is bereft of any real comedic value. The movie then continues in this fashion for 80 more minutes, before mercifully reaching its conclusion. Honestly, this film is painful; it only ever occasionally rises to the level of almost-funny, and that's only due to Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller (who are overrated and over-exposed, but undeniably talented) being able to somehow magically inject humour into a script that assumes that irrational activity and nonsensical banter will register it 'funny'. Jonah Hill fails in this area however, once again failing to bring a wan smile to my face, let alone a laugh. Meanwhile, Richard Ayoade - easily the funniest and most talented member of the whole cast - has his talents wasted on rude dialogue and lines featuring increasingly vulgar swear words, because, y'know, cursing always sounds funnier when spoken by a nerdy, well-spoken, otherwise polite British man. It's a cheap, low-brow gag to begin with, and only gets worse the more it's used.
I could go on for pages about all the things wrong with this movie. It's not funny, it's bloody terrible, and not only is it a complete waste of your time, it's also likely to cost you a significant number of brain cells. On reflection, I believe this movie encapsulates everything that is wrong with mainstream American comedy at this point in time. The only reason any intelligent person should watch this film is to study it's flaws.

[Johro]

Dredd

I quite enjoyed it. 7/10
You just need to know going in that the character is supposed to be a constant. He doesn't develop, he doesn't grow, you wont learn anything. It's a ride through hard justice.
Much more enjoyable than the Stallone flick.

[Noname215]

Originally Posted by Johro

Much more enjoyable than the Stallone flick.

How dare you! HE IS THE LAW!

[DAISHI]

Originally Posted by WarpSpeed

I figure we see most of her best scenes in the commercials they keep running for this movie. It is so heavily advertised, I suspected it must be completely awful, or they wouldn't have to do that.

It's only good on a superficial level. Like I said, if you're alright with just sex and beatings, it's a great Friday flick. If you want something with depth, not a good choice.

[DAISHI]

Don't Watch This Movie: Mama

I don't want to spoil this movie for you. Seriously, that's not the point of my reviews, or this blog. But I want to save you from yourself. I know you want to go see this film, and I know you think it will be good. Trust me, it won't be. It will be, perhaps, good enough, but it doesn't even contain the level of kick- ass spectacle that Gangster Squad that at least allowed me to recommend that movie as a rental. No, all Mama has is a ton of cliches, a stupid story and an ending so bad you'll go home and think a porn film does a better job of telling a tale.

There's no good music in this movie, but it's a horror film so, guess that's okay. The special effects are terrible. The movie monster looks bad, just bad, and not even in an acceptable way. Some of the cinematography, on the other hand, is gorgeous. Some of the locales are of vast forests and mountains that you might find in The Hobbit. Unfortunately, there's no comparatively good story going on. But hey! It's a horror film, right? You're in it for the scares. So how are those?

When it comes to scares, there's three ways to go about it. One, lots of murder and gore, which I've never found scary as much as grotesque. Two, snap scares, done with sudden camera cuts, quickly moving monsters. You know, the stuff that happens so fast you can't help but jump out of your seat. Three, a director can set a creepy mood that sort of just saturates the audience and lets fear slowly sink in. Mama aims for the second and third sort of scares, and does so fairly successfully, at lest for a while.

The jump scares are always pretty good. The director makes good use of suddenly launching monsters at you, of having the girls appear from nowhere, the camera catching sudden glimpses of dark shadows. Especially in the closing thirty minutes, the entire audience was mumbling. One couple next to me were hugging each other so tightly I wasn't sure if it was the man or woman that was scared. The problem, though, is that the movie is terrible.

The cliches are everywhere, and that's not an exaggeration. A lonely cabin in the woods? Check. Creepy children? Check. Nursery rhymes to invoke fear? Check. Drawings to communicate how disturbed they are? Check. Vengeful ghost that needs justice to end its vengeance? Check. A freaking psychologist analyzing the situation to find a rational explanation? Okay Halloween, we got you.

The story is bad, so bad that it ruins the context of the scares. At the same time I kept getting freaked out I also kept anticipating what was going to happen next, because the film is so by-the-numbers. Some things don't even make sense. For instance, the ghost is from the 1800s, but for some reason she lives in a cabin decorated with furniture fro the 1970s. Whyyyy, it makes no sense! There's almost no point to that detail, it's just thrown in, and the name of the person who lived there, that the movie actually lingers on, never comes into play. It's like a small detail you'd expect to come into play later except the director forgot that he set up the story to include that detail.

Don't watch this movie. It's got scares, but the price it requires in order for you to get to them is high. It's tedium, and boredom. That's a cost of admission that's much more expensive than the dollars you'll spend at the concession stand.

Rating: Don't Watch This Movie!
http://callatimeout.blogspot.com/201...ovie-mama.html

[VeronicanPlay]

Ganster Squad - 10/10

I really liked it, made me laugh, cry, and wince at the brutal scenes. While sitting on the edge of my seat.

[DAISHI]

GOOD GODS don't watch Movie 43. Review coming later.

[Noname215]

Movie 43 1/10

My god, this movie was fucking terrible. All the actors in the world couldn’t make this movie enjoyable. DO NOT SEE IT!

[Shadowknight1]

Well, I think after two negative reviews here and actually seeing a 1/10 from IGN of all places, I'll stay far away from that movie.

[DAISHI]

Unless you like seeing a cat masturbating furiously to pictures of its male master in a bathing suit.

[dustpuffs]

Originally Posted by DAISHI

Unless you like seeing a cat masturbating furiously to pictures of its male master in a bathing suit.

Eeww. Count me out.

[Noname215]

And Hugh Jackman with a ballsack hanging from his chin.

[Alcoremortis]

And this is why I don't watch comedy movies that advertise themselves as comedy movies. Because they almost always suck and are completely unfunny because they have nothing else to carry the film other than the comedy. A movie's gotta have something else, action, drama, I don't know. Something to carry the plot when the jokes can't. Characters with soul who just happen to have a soul that is hilarious.

[MtnPeak]

Little mermaid
A

[Jennifer]

Coneheads 4 1/2 out of 5

I have no idea why critics are so harsh on this movie. It's funny, it's sweet, and it has a nice story. Some of the special effects don't hold up so well today (especially Connie inhaling her submarine sandwich), but there's very little of it anyway (since the plot is mostly about the Coneheads trying to have a normal life on Earth). The stop motion animation with the Garthok on Remulak is excellent though.

It's definitely one of the best (and I feel it's the best) movie adaptations of a Saturday Night Live skit. In my opinion it's even better than Wayne's World.

[Noname215]

The Blues Brothers - Hell yes.
Mr. Bill’s Real Life Adventures - no.
Bob Roberts - meh.
Wayne’s World - yes.
Wayne’s World 2 - yes.
Coneheads - meh.
It’s Pat - no.
A Night at the Roxbury - no.
Blues Brothers 2000 - meh.
Superstar - no.
The Ladies’ Man - no.
Harold - no.
MacGruber - meh.

[Darth Marsden]

Originally Posted by DAISHI

GOOD GODS don't watch Movie 43. Review coming later.

So uh, did that review ever get done? I'm hankering for an in-depth dissection of it.

[Alcoremortis]

Teahouse of the August Moon -

Nobody I know has ever seen this movie, but it brings a smile to my face every time I watch it. Marlon Brando at his best, in my opinion. It's also hilarious, especially if you know any Japanese at all. Also, takes its place as one of my sources for the weird things I say sometimes.

[DAISHI]

Originally Posted by Darth Marsden

So uh, did that review ever get done? I'm hankering for an in-depth dissection of it.

Writing it up today.