Telltale Games

Fiddle Diddle · 01/17/2013, 11:24 pm

Our story picks up right at the end of Ep. 4...

LEE: Clementine! Clementine! Where are you?

LEE nervously shoves his hands in his pockets, finding the LEATHER JACKET from Ep. 2.

LEE: Aw damn, I thought I lost this! Must've gotten jammed down deep when I put that car battery in my pocket earlier.

LEE notices that it's foggy outside and dons his LEATHER JACKET. LEE steps outside, notices the WALKIE TALKIE, reaches for it when HIDDEN ZOMBIE attacks!!!... and gets a mouthful of LEATHER JACKET SLEEVE.

HIDDEN ZOMBIE: Om Nom Nom!

LEE: Aaaaaah!

LEE remembers that this is a zombie game and CURB STOMPS HIDDEN ZOMBIE.

LEE: Whew, close call!

CHRISTA, OMID, KENNY, and BEN enter scene.

OMID: Vernon's gone, and we think he took some stuff. Also, I'm pretty sure that he cheated at poker last night. What an asshole!

LEE: He might've taken Clemmy-Clem, too!

CHRISTA: Clementine is gone?

LEE: Well, ye-

CHRISTA cuts off LEE'S sentence.

CHRISTA: WE WILL HELP YOU FIND HER!

OMID: What about our ba-

CHRISTA: Hush!

KENNY: Well, count me out. Lee, you've been a pain in my ass from the start. Back at Hershel's, you ignored my boy when he was in danger, you sided with Larry at the drugstore, when my boy and wife were hungry at the Motor Inn you ate the last piece of food, you didn't help me kill Larry, you endangered my life when you shot that stranger outside the drugstore in Macon, you thought we should stay at the Motor Inn, you never told me that you were a convicted murderer until your secret got out, you beat the s*** out of me on the train, damnit, you made me shoot my own son! I hate you Lee! You never looked out for me or my family! It'll be a cold day in Hell when the time comes that I help you with anything ever! YOU HEAR ME??

LEE: Two words, Kenny: Family. Clementine.

KENNY: Okay I'll come!

BEN: I'm coming too, I guess, or whatever.

THE GROUP heads to VERNON'S CANCER CLUB HIDEOUT, only to find the place EMPTY AND DESERTED!

OMID: What's this? Looks like Vernon left a note here. Hmm... it says: "Nyah, nyah, nyah!" and there's a face with its tongue sticking out. Vernon is such a naughty person!

A ZOMBIE HORDE arrives at the CANCER CLUB HIDEOUT and THE GROUP needs to make a daring escape to THE ROOFTOP!

CHRISTA: Whoa! This ladder is super long! Could you imagine if one of us was injured, or only had one arm, or something crazy like that? Wouldn't that suck?

THE GROUP uses ladders and bells to divert the ZOMBIE HORDE, LEE proves that he is the best at jumping, KENNY attributes this to LEE'S obvious URBAN QUALITIES, and everyone heads back to THE MANSION.

CHRISTA: Whoa! We got back here super fast! Could you imagine if one of us was injured and prone to blackouts? It'd have taken us FOREVER to get back here! Wouldn't that've sucked?

OMID: Dude, is that Vernon stealing our boat?

VERNON and the CANCER CLUB [JOYCE, CLIVE, and BOYD [you know, the guy with the afro]], wearing pirate hats, are shocked to see THE GROUP return so soon!

VERNON: I can explain this.

OMID: Vernon, you salty old naughty person!

BEN: If we're gonna argue, shouldn't we, like, take this inside or something or whatever I guess in case like some zombies show up?

Just as EVERYONE remembers that this is a zombie game, PLOT CONVENIENT ZOMBIE HORDE arrives!

KENNY: Ben, everyone on the Internet already hates you for kinda maybe sorta having some indirect responsibility in Carley's death, and now they're all going to blame you for jinxing us right now. You're useless and I'll never forgive you for what your actions did to our group and my family! I hate you so much! I hope you rot Ben! It'll be a cold day in hell -

BEN: One word, Kenny: Family.

KENNY: I forgive you for everything.

EVERYONE heads inside THE MANSION and prepares for an awesome fight! ZOMBIFIED BRIE enters THE MANSION, and VERNON, without hesitating, viciously attacks and decapitates her!

VERNON: ARRRRRGH!

OMID: You an ice-cold motherfu**er, Vernon!

VERNON and OMID fist-bump.

CHRISTA: There are too many of them! We need more firepower!

BOYD [afro cancer man] reaches into his infamous paper bag and pulls out a BOMB! [seriously? this was a popular theory on this forum?] BOYD hurls said BOMB into PLOT CONVENIENT ZOMBIE HORDE and utterly demolishes all of them!

LEE: Boyd, you've saved us all!

BOYD: Don't thank me, Lee. Thank everyone on the Telltale Games Forums who seriously thought that I had a bomb in my paper sandwich bag and wrote about it online, giving the writer of this fan fic the idea!

SUDDENLY, a helicopter arrives, and THE GROUP is shocked to see that it is piloted by DOUG and CARLEY, the latter of which is sporting and EYE PATCH!

LEE: We thought you guys were dead!

DOUG: Well, I "died" off-camera, and according to many people on the Internet, if a character's death isn't explicitly shown to the audience, than it probably didn't happen!

KENNY: That's ridiculous!

CARLEY: And I was just shot in the eye and stunned temporarily! By the way, thanks for NOT checking on me! I was obviously alive! Anyways, we have no time to lose; Lee, we have to take you to the Marsh House where Clementine has been taken!

LEE: Wait, How do you know that Clementine has been taken to the Marsh House?

CARLEY: Do you seriously think that the writer of this fan fic cares enough about plot continuity to have a good answer to that question?

LEE: Good point.

DOUG and CARLEY drop LEE off at THE MARSH HOUSE where his climactic confrontation with RADIO MAN will occur!

RADIO MAN: You see Lee, under my leadership, both of my children died, so I'm a obviously a better father figure than you.

LEE: Ya know, this thread is getting pretty long... Can we just wrap this up?

RADIO MAN: Oh alright.

RADIO MAN shoots himself! CLEMENTINE and LEE reunite and make a daring escape with DOUG and CARLEY! After CLEMENTINE is finally safe, THE GROUP decides that it's time to part ways.

CHRISTA and OMID find a nice and safe cottage out in the country, and in a surprise to absolutely nobody, it turns out that CHRISTA WAS PREGNANT THE WHOLE TIME!

KENNY becomes an honorary member of the CANCER CLUB in exchange for letting them come with him on his boat. Before putting on his brand new pirate hat, it is revealed that he does indeed have another mustache under his trucker hat.

BEN eventually finds his family alive and well, but in a shocking twist, it turns out that they don't actually like him at all either, because really I mean who does?

DOUG and CARLEY have ten babies together.

LEE gets to set up a post-apocalyptic grade school with CLEMENTINE as his sole pupil. AWWWWWWWWW!!

THE END

Rambo297 · 01/17/2013, 11:55 pm

Haha, nice

Maximus123458 · 01/18/2013, 12:57 am

This is the best fan fiction ever and i want to marry it and have it's children.

Robbingrobin · 01/18/2013, 02:13 am

What for a shit.

gimmeseason2 · 01/18/2013, 03:27 am

Even though that is a very "happy ending," season 2 wouldn't be as exciting because we would already sorta know what it would be like. But I like it! good job and lol'd at the 10 babies O.O

dinofire · 01/18/2013, 06:13 am

I laughed my butt off xD

zev_zev · 01/18/2013, 06:18 am

After this theme, I feel sad more.

Platinumb · 01/18/2013, 07:20 am

what an amusing parody.

I feel bad Ben is picked on so much, though.

Toitle_John · 01/18/2013, 12:14 pm

Lol even though I love Kenny I have to admit, that's pretty true. He can hate you throughout the whole game and then you just say some stupid shit about how clementines your family and then he's all "OH MAN M SO SORRY I LOVE YOU BRO I'LL HELP YOU THEN FUCKING COMIT SUCIDE!!!111!!11ONE!!!!!11111"

Nuked · 01/18/2013, 01:45 pm

Love the line about that creep thinking his a better father. That went through my head while I was playing. "Lee's bad with Clem? Both your kids are dead."

Kaserkin · 01/18/2013, 01:49 pm

What??? Kenny isn't hiding the One Ring under his hat???

Nuked · 01/18/2013, 01:59 pm

How did Doug and Carley die off camera? They were shot in the freakin head.

Fiddle Diddle · 01/18/2013, 04:27 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by zev_zev

After this theme, I feel sad more.

I'm sorry!

Quote:

Originally Posted by PlatinumB

what an amusing parody.

I feel bad Ben is picked on so much, though.

Yeah I actually liked Ben a lot, but he's just such an easy target and I'm just having fun.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nuked

How did Doug and Carley die off camera? They were shot in the freakin head.

My memory is hazy but doesn't Doug kinda die off camera if you save Carley in Ep. 1? I can't remember! I just thought it'd be funny to point out that even though other characters have died off camera, no one seems to theorize about them being alive quite as much as for Kenny. And Carley coming back was just a shout-out to all her die-hard "she was only shot in the cheek" fans.

The Writer · 01/18/2013, 04:43 pm

This was awesome, and hilarious! I'm glad that this isn't the actual story. But that was still so funny!

Nuked · 01/18/2013, 06:35 pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fiddle Diddle

I'm sorry!

Yeah I actually liked Ben a lot, but he's just such an easy target and I'm just having fun.

My memory is hazy but doesn't Doug kinda die off camera if you save Carley in Ep. 1? I can't remember! I just thought it'd be funny to point out that even though other characters have died off camera, no one seems to theorize about them being alive quite as much as for Kenny. And Carley coming back was just a shout-out to all her die-hard "she was only shot in the cheek" fans.

There were 5 zombies on top of Doug. He's dead.

Platinumb · 01/18/2013, 06:39 pm

Uh... you see the zombies scooping out Doug's insides.

Nobody walks away from that. Alive, anyway.

Fiddle Diddle · 01/18/2013, 07:50 pm

Yeeeeeeeeah I just went back and watched it and it's not as ambiguous as I remembered.

I was never suggesting that I thought he survived, I just thought I remembered it happening off camera. Oops!

Moggyoxys · 01/18/2013, 08:43 pm

That made me lol

LauriNicole · 01/19/2013, 04:24 am

Carley and... Doug had babies?
What is wrong with you?
Everybody knows Carley is PERFECT for Lee.
PERFECT11!!!!11111eleventy!!11
[insertkeyboardbashinghere]

BenIsKindaCool · 01/19/2013, 04:29 am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maximus123458

This is the best fan fiction ever and i want to marry it and have it's children.

Wat?

Btw,this is some hilarious..Masterpiece you've got there xD

01/17/2013, 11:24 pm	#1
Fiddle Diddle Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 96	Fan Fic: Lee was never bitten!!1! Our story picks up right at the end of Ep. 4... LEE: Clementine! Clementine! Where are you? LEE nervously shoves his hands in his pockets, finding the LEATHER JACKET from Ep. 2. LEE: Aw damn, I thought I lost this! Must've gotten jammed down deep when I put that car battery in my pocket earlier. LEE notices that it's foggy outside and dons his LEATHER JACKET. LEE steps outside, notices the WALKIE TALKIE, reaches for it when HIDDEN ZOMBIE attacks!!!... and gets a mouthful of LEATHER JACKET SLEEVE. HIDDEN ZOMBIE: Om Nom Nom! LEE: Aaaaaah! LEE remembers that this is a zombie game and CURB STOMPS HIDDEN ZOMBIE. LEE: Whew, close call! CHRISTA, OMID, KENNY, and BEN enter scene. OMID: Vernon's gone, and we think he took some stuff. Also, I'm pretty sure that he cheated at poker last night. What an asshole! LEE: He might've taken Clemmy-Clem, too! CHRISTA: Clementine is gone? LEE: Well, ye- CHRISTA cuts off LEE'S sentence. CHRISTA: WE WILL HELP YOU FIND HER! OMID: What about our ba- CHRISTA: Hush! KENNY: Well, count me out. Lee, you've been a pain in my ass from the start. Back at Hershel's, you ignored my boy when he was in danger, you sided with Larry at the drugstore, when my boy and wife were hungry at the Motor Inn you ate the last piece of food, you didn't help me kill Larry, you endangered my life when you shot that stranger outside the drugstore in Macon, you thought we should stay at the Motor Inn, you never told me that you were a convicted murderer until your secret got out, you beat the s* out of me on the train, damnit, you made me shoot my own son! I hate you Lee! You never looked out for me or my family! It'll be a cold day in Hell when the time comes that I help you with anything ever! YOU HEAR ME?? LEE: Two words, Kenny: Family. Clementine. KENNY: Okay I'll come! BEN: I'm coming too, I guess, or whatever. THE GROUP heads to VERNON'S CANCER CLUB HIDEOUT, only to find the place EMPTY AND DESERTED! OMID: What's this? Looks like Vernon left a note here. Hmm... it says: "Nyah, nyah, nyah!" and there's a face with its tongue sticking out. Vernon is such a naughty person! A ZOMBIE HORDE arrives at the CANCER CLUB HIDEOUT and THE GROUP needs to make a daring escape to THE ROOFTOP! CHRISTA: Whoa! This ladder is super long! Could you imagine if one of us was injured, or only had one arm, or something crazy like that? Wouldn't that suck? THE GROUP uses ladders and bells to divert the ZOMBIE HORDE, LEE proves that he is the best at jumping, KENNY attributes this to LEE'S obvious URBAN QUALITIES, and everyone heads back to THE MANSION. CHRISTA: Whoa! We got back here super fast! Could you imagine if one of us was injured and prone to blackouts? It'd have taken us FOREVER to get back here! Wouldn't that've sucked? OMID: Dude, is that Vernon stealing our boat? VERNON and the CANCER CLUB [JOYCE, CLIVE, and BOYD [you know, the guy with the afro]], wearing pirate hats, are shocked to see THE GROUP return so soon! VERNON: I can explain this. OMID: Vernon, you salty old naughty person! BEN: If we're gonna argue, shouldn't we, like, take this inside or something or whatever I guess in case like some zombies show up? Just as EVERYONE remembers that this is a zombie game, PLOT CONVENIENT ZOMBIE HORDE arrives! KENNY: Ben, everyone on the Internet already hates you for kinda maybe sorta having some indirect responsibility in Carley's death, and now they're all going to blame you for jinxing us right now. You're useless and I'll never forgive you for what your actions did to our group and my family! I hate you so much! I hope you rot Ben! It'll be a cold day in hell - BEN: One word, Kenny: Family. KENNY: I forgive you for everything. EVERYONE heads inside THE MANSION and prepares for an awesome fight! ZOMBIFIED BRIE enters THE MANSION, and VERNON, without hesitating, viciously attacks and decapitates her! VERNON: ARRRRRGH! OMID: You an ice-cold motherfuer, Vernon! VERNON and OMID fist-bump. CHRISTA: There are too many of them! We need more firepower! BOYD [afro cancer man] reaches into his infamous paper bag and pulls out a BOMB! [seriously? this was a popular theory on this forum?] BOYD hurls said BOMB into PLOT CONVENIENT ZOMBIE HORDE and utterly demolishes all of them! LEE: Boyd, you've saved us all! BOYD: Don't thank me, Lee. Thank everyone on the Telltale Games Forums who seriously thought that I had a bomb in my paper sandwich bag and wrote about it online, giving the writer of this fan fic the idea! SUDDENLY, a helicopter arrives, and THE GROUP is shocked to see that it is piloted by DOUG and CARLEY, the latter of which is sporting and EYE PATCH! LEE: We thought you guys were dead! DOUG: Well, I "died" off-camera, and according to many people on the Internet, if a character's death isn't explicitly shown to the audience, than it probably didn't happen! KENNY: That's ridiculous! CARLEY: And I was just shot in the eye and stunned temporarily! By the way, thanks for NOT checking on me! I was obviously alive! Anyways, we have no time to lose; Lee, we have to take you to the Marsh House where Clementine has been taken! LEE: Wait, How do you know that Clementine has been taken to the Marsh House? CARLEY: Do you seriously think that the writer of this fan fic cares enough about plot continuity to have a good answer to that question? LEE: Good point. DOUG and CARLEY drop LEE off at THE MARSH HOUSE where his climactic confrontation with RADIO MAN will occur! RADIO MAN: You see Lee, under my leadership, both of my children died, so I'm a obviously a better father figure than you. LEE: Ya know, this thread is getting pretty long... Can we just wrap this up? RADIO MAN: Oh alright. RADIO MAN shoots himself! CLEMENTINE and LEE reunite and make a daring escape with DOUG and CARLEY! After CLEMENTINE is finally safe, THE GROUP decides that it's time to part ways. CHRISTA and OMID find a nice and safe cottage out in the country, and in a surprise to absolutely nobody, it turns out that CHRISTA WAS PREGNANT THE WHOLE TIME! KENNY becomes an honorary member of the CANCER CLUB in exchange for letting them come with him on his boat. Before putting on his brand new pirate hat, it is revealed that he does indeed have another mustache under his trucker hat. BEN eventually finds his family alive and well, but in a shocking twist, it turns out that they don't actually like him at all either, because really I mean who does? DOUG and CARLEY have ten babies together. LEE gets to set up a post-apocalyptic grade school with CLEMENTINE as his sole pupil. AWWWWWWWWW!! THE END Last edited by Fiddle Diddle; 01/17/2013 at 11:27 pm.

01/18/2013, 02:13 am	#4
Robbingrobin Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Somewhere safe Posts: 433	What for a shit. __________________ *I am surrounded by Idiots* The fucking game has nothing to do with the fucking TV-Series. When do people get that finally, huh?

01/18/2013, 03:27 am	#5
gimmeseason2 Clementine FTW Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Atlanta Posts: 307	Even though that is a very "happy ending," season 2 wouldn't be as exciting because we would already sorta know what it would be like. But I like it! good job and lol'd at the 10 babies O.O __________________ "Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful."

01/18/2013, 06:13 am	#6
dinofire Kenny,Ben & Omid FTW Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 175	I laughed my butt off xD __________________ -You stick it out as long as you can. You do whatever you have to. I could have done more. -You did everything you could... -No Lee, I could've been a been a better husband, a better father... Could've been a better friend. So let's figure out a way outta here, and get that little girl.

01/18/2013, 12:14 pm	#9
Toitle_John Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 53	Lol even though I love Kenny I have to admit, that's pretty true. He can hate you throughout the whole game and then you just say some stupid shit about how clementines your family and then he's all "OH MAN M SO SORRY I LOVE YOU BRO I'LL HELP YOU THEN FUCKING COMIT SUCIDE!!!111!!11ONE!!!!!11111" __________________ "I either save the boy, or see them again." -Kenny That's right. I'm Pro-Kenny. Deal.

01/17/2013, 11:55 pm	#2
Rambo297 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 101	Haha, nice

01/18/2013, 12:57 am	#3
Maximus123458 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 152	This is the best fan fiction ever and i want to marry it and have it's children.

01/18/2013, 06:18 am	#7
zev_zev Clementine's fan Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: Russia; Moscow Posts: 499	After this theme, I feel sad more.

01/18/2013, 07:20 am	#8
Platinumb Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: TWD Land Posts: 229	what an amusing parody. I feel bad Ben is picked on so much, though.

01/18/2013, 01:45 pm	#10
Nuked Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Texas Posts: 244	Love the line about that creep thinking his a better father. That went through my head while I was playing. "Lee's bad with Clem? Both your kids are dead."

01/18/2013, 01:49 pm	#11
Kaserkin Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2012 Posts: 284	What??? Kenny isn't hiding the One Ring under his hat???

01/18/2013, 01:59 pm	#12
Nuked Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Texas Posts: 244	How did Doug and Carley die off camera? They were shot in the freakin head.

01/18/2013, 04:43 pm	#14
The Writer Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 10	This was awesome, and hilarious! I'm glad that this isn't the actual story. But that was still so funny!

01/18/2013, 06:39 pm	#16
Platinumb Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: TWD Land Posts: 229	Uh... you see the zombies scooping out Doug's insides. Nobody walks away from that. Alive, anyway.

01/18/2013, 07:50 pm	#17
Fiddle Diddle Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 96	Yeeeeeeeeah I just went back and watched it and it's not as ambiguous as I remembered. I was never suggesting that I thought he survived, I just thought I remembered it happening off camera. Oops!

01/18/2013, 08:43 pm	#18
Moggyoxys Midget Lover Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Koridai Posts: 150	That made me lol

01/19/2013, 04:24 am	#19
LauriNicole Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 128	Carley and... Doug had babies? What is wrong with you? Everybody knows Carley is PERFECT for Lee. PERFECT11!!!!11111eleventy!!11 [insertkeyboardbashinghere]

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