Rate The Last Movie(s) You Watched

[DAISHI]

Don't Watch This Movie: Movie 43
Rating: Good gods, don't watch this movie.

I want to read off a list of Hollywood names that are in this movie. Tell me if you recognize any of them.

Elizabeth Banks
Halle Berry
Kate Bosworth
Gerard Butler
Richard Gere
Hugh Jackman
Johnny Knoxville
Liev Schreiber
Seann William Scott
Emma Stone
Uma Thurman
Naomi Watts
Kate Winslet

These are only a few of the Holly wood names attached to this film. Now, let me break down the movie for you. It's framed as a crazed man pitching movie ideas to a studio director, in the hope of getting a deal signed. These are the pitches:

1.) A blind date goes awry when the man removes his scarf and reveals his scrotum is actually hanging from his neck.
2.) A homeschooling couple try to get their child to have the full high school experience. This involves his dad trying to come out as homosexual to his son, his mother trying to get a first awkward kiss from him before asking if he has protection, and holding huge school parties in which his dad makes out with the son's crush.
3.) A couple finally decides to become physically intimate when she asks if he'll poop on her, which leads to him eating tons of Mexican food for the big night.
4.) Halle Barry goes on a blind date that escalates into a bizarre truth or dare, in which she shoots hot sauce into her privates, and he gets offensive surgery to look 'Chinese'. Also, she makes guacamole with her breast.
5.) Robin goes to a speed dating night where Batman insults him as he tries to get dates and spends half the time describing Supergirl's privates to him from beneath a table.
6.) A black basketball team is rallied to defeat their white opponents, because this is basketball, they're black, the other team's white, so the outcome is obvious.
7.) A cat in love with its master self pleasures itself furiously to images of him, then tries to kill the woman he's in love with.

W T F!!!

There are a few others but I think I hit most of them. They're a series of about ten to fifteen minute skits set within the narrative frame of a series of movie pitches. Many are just unfunny. The problem is that there's no setup. You can have askew, gross humor, but there has to be a buildup, a setup. Because all of the jokes are just skits it's like the writers jumped straight to the punchline, forgetting that what makes a movie memorable is everything around the punchline. The setup of the joke is important, and there's no setup, just a shotgun blast of absurd and often times unfunny skits.

I mean, what else can I criticize? There's no camera work worth nothing, no dramatics, no real need for acting to be done, no actual soundtrack that I can even remember. It's as if they took Family Guy, with its series of cutaway skits and jokes, and extended the episode over an hour and a half. The final product is really, really terrible. I can see all the Yes Men that surrounded these actors, telling them they were doing fantastic jobs, when the final product was actually just garbage. The funniest skit is probably one involving a girl getting her first period because, at least for that skit, it's grounded in something identifiable. All the men involved with the situation come across as men often do, uncomfortable with the topic. My friend argues the scrotum skit that opens the movie is the funniest, and I guess she might be right, if you think Kate Winslet with a pair of scrotum set aside her head is funny.

There are funny parts, don't get me wrong, but I found myself checking my watch multiple times waiting for the movie to end, and that's never a good sign. Do yourself a favor and just, please, avoid this movie. Don't give money to the studio and people that thought this was a good idea. Because they are robbing you of cash. You will walk out, poorer not only financially, but poorer in spirit. There's nothing like sending you off on a Friday night than realizing you paid to see a cat masturbate.

Rating: Dears gods, just don't. Don't watch it. Don't rent it. Don't.

@JL_TheProfessor
http://callatimeout.blogspot.com/201...-movie-43.html

[Noname215]

Fuck yeah!

[GuruGuru214]

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

I think this is now one of my favorite movies. There's your rating.

It was chock full of ridiculous dark humor, it kept surprising me, and it managed to weave it all around a fun murder mystery that was all over the place.

[Alcoremortis]

I think the worst thing about Movie 43 is that they used Nananana to advertise it. Because I actually kinda like that song.

[Vainamoinen]

Originally Posted by GuruGuru214

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

I think this is now one of my favorite movies. There's your rating.

Well deserved. Shane Black has not written a better movie, and that's saying something. KKBB should have been a trilogy, in my opinion. Well... I guess Robert Downey has other roles these days.

But what about that Michelle Monaghan, eh? I believed every single one of her emotions. Wonderful actress. As in, ACTRESS.

[DAISHI]

Hugo.

9/10

My gods I cried about five times in the movie.

[PortmanJoh]

Dredd 3D - I love it, shooting and blood and explosion and action!!! Lol i did not expect such a great show from this brand

[Secret Fawful]

2012 Theater Wrap-Up Scores:

Django Unchained - 10/10
Dredd - 9/10
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (real score) - 8/10
The Avengers - 8/10
Paranorman - 7/10
The Cabin in the Woods - 7/10
Chronicle - 7/10
John Carter - 6/10
The Dark Knight Rises - 6/10
Prometheus - 6/10
The Three Stooges - 6/10
Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part 2 - 5/10
The Lorax - 3/10
The Amazing Spider-Man - 2/10


I don't care about Looper or Skyfall, and have yet to see Beasts of the Southern Wild and the Raid.

[VeronicanPlay]

Wreck it Ralph - 9/10

So it finally arrived in Danish cinemas, and after the hunt for a cinema that would actually show it in its original language I could finally go and see it.

And I loved it to bits, the movie is so adorable. The story is amazing, it has a consistent theme throughout the whole thing.
All of the characters are memorable, I loved the connections between the various characters especially the connection between Vanellope and Ralph.
I laughed many times over, and even cried a little one time.

It was great to try and spot all the game cameos and references, and as I am an avid gamer I could spot a few of them.

The moment Fix-it Felix Jr. started to talk I just knew I had heard the voice somewhere, but I just couldn't place it. The name in the credits did not help much. It was not until I came home and did a google search I could slap my self in the face. It was of course Kenneth Parcell from 30 Rock, the show I watch a bit of every morning, duh.

[Noname215]

Parker 9/10

+9 for pure badassery, -1 for Jennifer Lopez’s shitty acting.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter 8/10

Kind of corny, yet a decent action-horror flick.

[Hayden]

Originally Posted by DAISHI

Hugo.

9/10

My gods I cried about five times in the movie.

I watched this movie last week too (finally). And yeah, it's the closest that any piece of media has ever brought me to tears. I can't even put my finger on the reason for it's profound effect; all I know is that it touched me in a way that was really unique. I don't know if it elicits the same response from everyone, but damn, it had one hell of an effect on me.

[Zeruis]

Finally went and saw Parker. Statham was great as he always is, it's just that the writing for the other characters is sub-par. Jennifer Lopez's character got introduced so late into the movie, it made absolutely no sense for her to be included in the love triangle.

7/10, just for Statham.

[DAISHI]

Originally Posted by Hayden

I watched this movie last week too (finally). And yeah, it's the closest that any piece of media has ever brought me to tears. I can't even put my finger on the reason for it's profound effect; all I know is that it touched me in a way that was really unique. I don't know if it elicits the same response from everyone, but damn, it had one hell of an effect on me.

Scorsese is obviously a great director. He lets his actors act. That moment when the camera pans out from Milieu's bedroom, with him cradling his head in his arms, crying, his wife beside him... damn.

[JuntMonkey]

All on Netflix:

The Vicious Kind - Indie family drama starring Adam Scott and J.K. Simmons. Heavy stuff. 7/10

Slacker - One of the indie trailblazers. Interesting in that we don't spend more than a few minutes with any one character. We just go around Austin, following one character into a vignette and then generally following another character out of that vignette and into another. 7.5/10 (This has potential for me to increase my rating as time passes and it sits with me).

The Conversation - Only weakened by the middle section where there are some cheesy '70s characters and a party. The other parts were incredible and it would have Top 5 potential for me if the whole thing was more quiet like those parts. Loved the music (I also loved the music for HBO's Recount, which sounds like it almost blatantly plagiarized this!). Anyway, still might wind up a Top 5-10 of mine when all is said and done. 9/10

Sherlock Jr. - Buster Keaton silent. Amazing stunts. The first 15 minutes drag a bit but once it heats up it's great. Only 44 minutes total. Comes off Netflix on 2/15 so you might want to check it out now.

[Zeruis]

Smiley- 4/10

-This had the potential to become a great movie. The villain scared the hell out of me, which is probably the only think this movie does right. Bad acting, even more horrible writing. The entire movie's premise is how internet trolling screws with people in real life. With that, the ending is very cliche. And then a post-credits scene shows promise of a sequel. Really?

I guess this is what happens when I miss slasher films.

[Noname215]

A Good Day to Die Hard 10/10

Yippie-ki-yay, Motherfucker!!!

[VeronicanPlay]

Battleship - 5/10

The movie was not great but it was not awful, it did have it's cool moments and funny parts but no enough to keep it in the good movie category.


Looper - 4/10

One of those movies that from the trailers had a really cool set up, but just fell out flat.
No real action, no real suspense and the whole TK thing just ruined it completely.

[StrongBrush1]

I was recently asked to write a review of the movie Lincoln for Youth Journalism International, so I figured I'd post a link here for all to see.

Review.

[Jennifer]

Originally Posted by Noname215

A Good Day to Die Hard 10/10

I'm glad to see this, it's been thrashed by critics so I've been worried about it, and I wanted to see it (I really liked Live Free and Die Hard). Although, Die Hard With a Vengence was also trampled by critics, and that's my current favorite in the series, so I probably shouldn't have been worried.

[Rather Dashing]

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Fantastic.