Corrupted Wish

[Noname215]

Granted. You become a successful male prostitute and nothing else.

I wish Steven Tyler was less ugly.

[Toasty]

Granted, he's so beautiful, that you can't handle it and you die.


I wish I knew how to speak Russian.

[Noname215]

Granted. Ты идиот.

I wish for a six-pack.

[Jennifer]

Granted, You now have a six pack of turkey and gravy flavored soda.

I wish there were more days in Februrary.

[Remolay]

Granted, they take two more days from the rest of the year, including you're birthday.

I wish I could meet the Axis of Awesome.

[Toasty]

Granted, they're so funny, you run of out air from trying to breathe while laughing, and go unconcious, your unconcious self runs of out air, and then you die from not enough air.


I wish I didn't have a popped tire on my car.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

Your wish is my command. In this new timeline, your tire has never popped. As a result, last night you decide to go out to the grocery store to pick up a few things you've been meaning to buy for a while. However, on the way there, you fail to notice a pedestrian crossing the road in the dark. You strike her and screech to a halt. You get out of your car, trembling as you slowly walk over to the young girl lying before your vehicle. Her body is twisted at impossible angles, blood is pooling beneath her as she lays still, so still, on the ground before you. Fear overtakes you as you collapse to your knees. Time loses meaning and you hardly notice as you are taken away in the back of a police car. You are now spending the next several long, long years in prison for vehicular manslaughter. Well done.

I wish for $4.

[Remolay]

Granted, They're Canadian dollars.

I wish I had the ability to remove stupid things from the universe

[ted12]

You remove yourself.

I wish for a fifty foot stack of pancakes.

[Jennifer]

Granted. They're brought into existence directly over your head, and once they finish fully materializing they crush you under their sheer mass.

I wish I didn't have two doctor appointments today.

[Noname215]

Granted. Instead, you have two root canals scheduled for today.

[16_BIT_MARIO1]

A void wish can bear no fruit. The fact that you've neglected to cast a wish results in an implosion of the forum's magic, causing a magic black hole to form. It quickly grows in size until it is large enough to consume all of reality.

I wish I had some semblance of control over my life.

[StrongBrush1]

Granted, but only your abilities. All of which are useless because you have no control of your body. Enjoy your short, empty life!

I wish I could write faster.

[Noname215]

You type to the point that your hands fall off.

I wish my stomachache would go away.

[Jennifer]

Granted. You drink a bottle of drain cleaner, and now have no stomach at all.

I wish for a moon pie.

[ted12]

Granted. The pie, which is literally the moon in a crust, throws off Earth's tilt and freezes the entire planet, killing everyone on the surface. Nice going.

I wish for a new pair of socks.

[ryannumber1gamer]

Granted, you get LeChuck's socks from Tales of Monkey Island.

I wish Telltale would be able to make a deal with Lucasarts and they would then be able make Sam & Max Freelance Police, Sam & Max Hit the road Special Edition, and Tales of Monkey Island 2.

[OzzieMonkey]

Granted, Hit the road SE is entirely unfaithful to the original, and they screw up Freelance Police and ToMI 2 royally.

I wish I could travel through time

[WarpSpeed]

Granted, but you can only travel forward through time, and it takes a whole day to get one day into the future.

I wish Sam & Max ran Telltale Games.

[ryannumber1gamer]

Granted, it gets to the point where every game stars Sam & Max and Max keeps throwing 3 games out every year and everyone gets sick of Sam & Max. It then gets to the point where Sam & Max runs out of funny jokes and start coming up with crappy jokes.

I wish a new Ratchet & Clank main series game came out and it was better than A Crack in Time and every Ratchet & Clank game before it.