Let's write a movie script, before Uwe Boll writes his own!

[hansschmucker]

In the Uwe Boll thread we had the glorious idea to make a movie script here in the forums, every user a few pages.

So here's the opening scene. If you want to continue, just post that you are working on it and when you expect results, so that only one person is working at it at a time.

Let's show the world that fanboys can make a movie that the general public would like to see

===The Secret of Monkey Island===

The distributor logo appears (think Universal or Spyglass pictures) and fades out.
Silence.
The Boll KG logo fades in.
Slowly it morphs into the reflection of the moon in the sea, seen from above.
The camera moves up, showing Phatt Island in the moonlight.
You hear the wind and the noises of the sea.
The words “Deep in the Carribean: Phatt Island” slowly fade in.
The image fades out.

Sudden cut to a closeup of Guybrush (around 25, skinny and in too big clothes) 's eyes.
Cut to an old stone ceiling. Zoom in slowly
Voice from off: “You want a bit of Rat-burger?”
Cut back to Guybrush, a bit farther back, revealing that he's lying on the floor. Hands behind his head, appears thinking. Clothes are still in relatively good condition, just a bit dirty.
Guybrush: “How can you eat that stuff, Otis?”

Camera switches to the front of two cells seen through the bars, Guybrush in the left, Otis in the right, separated by a stone wall. Everything looks old and wet. Otis has an old shirt that may have been white at some point and has a beard. Both look like they hadn't been washed in decades. Otis sits with his back against the wall shared by the two cells and has some parts of rats in front of him. Guybrush is lying with his feet to the camera. Both cells have a small “window” (really just a tiny vertical stripe)

Otis: “When you've been to as many jails, dungeons and other deathtraps as I've been, you realize one thing: don't expect anybody to bring you any food.”
Guybrush: “Why are you in here?”
Otis: “Tried to sell a jacket to Governor Phatt. Turns out I didn't have his size”
Guybrush: “When?”
Otis: “What date is it?”
Guybrush: “Thursday. The 12th I think.”
Otis: “I meant the year.”
Guybrush: “Oh”.

A couple of seconds nothing happens.

Guybrush: “You've been to many jails?”
Otis:”Yep”
Guybrush: “So you usually get out at some point”
Otis:”Yep”
Guybrush: “With what?”
Otis:”Patience”.
Guybrush:”No dogs that give you the key when you throw them a bone?”
Otis:”So far, no”

A couple of seconds nothing happens.

Camera is outside, showing that the prison is really part of the cliffs and the two windows form the eyes of something that looks a bit like a scull.
Suddenly an explosion inside the prison: You see the windows/eyes light up in yellow. A few leafs fall across the screen. One flies around (wind noises) and finally sticks to the camera. The monkey island logo is engraved in the leaf.The monkey island theme starts playing.
The background of the logo changes from leaf to an old piece of canvas. Various pirate-like motives, along with the credits show as if drawn onto one big piece of canvas. The camera zooms out, rotates, zooms in for these transitions.

[hansschmucker]

Dan2593 has started another thread with a similar theme a few minutes ago... I think we should link these:

The one you're looking at is meant for a movie script that takes place in the MI universe, not one that actually tries to turn one particular game into a movie. That's what Dan2593's thread is for. So choose, and choose wisely what you want to do.

[SHODANFreeman]

Don't forget to include a 5 minute sex scene that goes way over the top for no apparent reason.

[hansschmucker]

So, you've seen Alone in the Dark too?

[Juicius Maximus]

The final credit reads "Written, Produced, Directed, Edited, and Scored by Uwe Boll." The parchment flies away to reveal a frame filled with smoke, slowly clearing to reveal the grinning, cigar-chomping face of the Swordtrainer.

Swordtrainer: I'm gettin' too old for this sh*t.

The prison is now in a state of complete ruin, except for the Guybrush and Otis' cells, standing solid as the day they were built.

Guybrush: It's about time you showed up.
Otis: Yeah, no kidding. Do you know how many MINUTES we've been suffering in here for?
Sword Trainer: No.
Otis: Ten. Ten grueling, soul-sucking minutes!
Sword Trainer: I see. And the tattered clothes? The rat meat? The filthy beards?
Otis: Well...
Guybrush:...it's been kind of a vicious cycle...
Otis: ...you see...
Guybrush: Otis and I got into a particularly vicious slap fight in the first thirty seconds of our incarceration...
Otis: ...which in turn made us hungry...
Guybrush: ...and I never knew this, but apparently rat meat accelerates beard growth...
Otis: ...and long, filthy beards make excellent rat traps.

Guybrush and Otis suddenly realize the Sword Trainer is nowhere to be seen. Cut to ext. WS of prison, Sword Trainer rapelling down the face of the cliff.

Sword Trainer: You ladies still talkin'?!
Guybrush: I've got a bad feeling about this.
Otis: Relax. Our filthy beards will protect us.
Guybrush: No, I mean he forgot to open our cells.
Otis: Oh, right. Ah well...[pulls a rat out of his beard]...early dinner?
Guybrush: Nah. The stomach is willing but the beard resists.

Suddenly, the charred remains of the prison are rocked by three consecutive blasts. When the smoke clears, there is NOTHING left save the two mint condition cells. A rope unfurls from above out of nowhere, to reveal the supple form of Elaine Marley, capably but sexily sliding down toward our two prisoners, a ring of keys between her teeth. Otis waves a still-gristly rat bone through the bars, whistling and beckoning to Elaine.

Otis: Come on, girl! That's it!

Guybrush flies into a blind rage and another brutally vicious slap fight ensues between the shared bars of their two cells. Cut to title card: "Several hours later..." Cut to: establishing ext. of Elaine Marley's Governor's mansion. Slow Psycho-style zoom through second floor window to reveal...a 5 minute sex scene that goes way over the top for no apparent reason.

[Juicius Maximus]

^Special thanks to Pale Man for unwittingly allowing me to plagiarize his wise suggestion.

[Juicius Maximus]

*guilty bump* Not self-promotion, I swear! Just really hoping someone will pick up where we left off

[SHODANFreeman]

Originally Posted by Jucius Maximus

*guilty bump* Not self-promotion, I swear! Just really hoping someone will pick up where we left off

Hey, I already added a 5 minute sex scene that goes way over the top for no apparent reason. What more do you want from me?!?

[hamzie]

fail

[hansschmucker]

Originally Posted by hamzie

fail

Remind me, that contributes to our conversation how?

[LukeSW]

You ought to read up on screenplay formatting.