Rate The Last Movie(s) You Watched

[Secret Fawful]

Originally Posted by mgrant

Movies

Except for Rescuers Down Under, Hunchback, Atlantis, and Mulan, I haven't seen ANY of those.

I actually waited and watched the Nostalgia Critic reviews after I watched these movies fresh because I wanted some unique opinions on them. So here goes.

Street Fighter Vs. Mortal Kombat

Street Fighter - 5/11 - What a piece of solid dick. I hate this movie. I don't hate everything about it, but I do hate it. All of the characters were perfectly cast. However, the plot is a big fat piece of anal ass. Where was the STREET FIGHTING? WHERE? WHERE? WHERE!!!? How can you cast a video game movie so well and miss the mark so badly? There were...three fights that were barely fights. They sucked! I counted. There were only a few seconds of fighting in the first hour and eight minutes of this movie. That is one hell of a wait for some fighting in a Street Fighter movie. And when that amount of time was up...

...inhale...

...when THAT TIME WAS UP...

....EXHALE....

....THEY FILLED ALMOST ALL THE REST OF THE HOUR AND A HALF MOVIE..

...TWENTY-TWO MINUTES...

...OF SHITTY GUNFIGHTING!!!

I mean...it's not like any of the actors did a bad job with their characters. The action was poor and bland and cliche and boring and stupid and insipid and anal ass. The plot was a piece of crap. The music was barely there, with only a couple of good pieces. And the effects...WERE...BALLS. Especially in Blanka. What the hell was that? It looked like Lou Ferrigno in an Incredible Hulk costume. What a STUPID movie. And to be honest, I didn't entirely agree with the Critic on it. I liked JCVD; he was one of the best and funniest parts of the movie. I've always liked JCVD. I liked Raul Julia. Not a ton, but I liked him. Anyway, rant over. On to the next movie. Obviously it couldn't be nearly as good as the first right. It's probably an anal piece of ass too. Nothing could possibly make me adore another fighting movie from this era.

Obviously the rating will be Mortal Kombat - 5/11 -

All right, so the movie starts off with a semi-bland semi-awesome opening sequence. The effects and the look of the film immediately calls me back to Highlander and Big Trouble in Little China. Okay...that's...pretty damn cool, BUT I'M NOT LETTING MY GUARD DOWN AFTER THAT ASSFEST THAT WAS STREET FIGHTER. I...wait...that guy with the white hair...his voice sounds like....no.

...No....it can't be...



Lambert: Hi. I'm Raiden.



IT IS! IT'S CHRISTOPHER LAMBERT!

Mortal Kombat - 10/11 -

Screw what I said before! Screw it in its ass! This movie is going to be awesome! Or so I said. And I was right. This movie is badass from beginning to end. It has everything you need to have a good, entertaining video game movie. It has a good cast. It has cheesiness, but in a fun, entertaining way. It has GREAT special effects. It has..GASP...ACTUAL FIGHTING. BTW, this is where I really was at odds with the Critic's way of thinking. How can you criticize a fighting movie based on a fighting game for having TOO MUCH FIGHTING? You can't. And yes, even the effects on Prince Goro are cool. What? I love that Harryhausen sort of stuff, and I thought the effects were convincing enough. Personally, it just added to the fun to me. Now, not all of the acting was as good as in Street Fighter, I'll admit that. Still, who the hell cares? FIGHTING! Also, I wasn't really impressed with Scorpion's tentacle monster that shoots out of his hand. However, it didn't really bother me all that much, and the fight between him and Johnny Cage was BADASS. Everything Cage does in that movie is badass. And the music is great. It perfectly evokes the feeling of a video game, and not just a video game, but a fighting video game. I can't really gush about this one anymore. I loved it, and it'll be one that I'll watch again and again for years to come. Problem, internet? Oh, also, LAMBERT! WOOOO.

After the fun and exciting movie Mortal Kombat was, I sure couldn't wait to see Mortal Kombat 2. It had to be awesome. It had to be badass! It...

Mortal Kombat 2: Annihilation - ..../11 -



OH LORD, WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT. OH....OHHHHH....

My head is in my hands. How could they...how did they...why did they....

GAH!



See this screencap. That face is the only good thing in the entire movie. That's it. I just...I need a drink.

[WARP10CK]

Just watched Highlander (the first one ) A++ cult movie in my book anybody remember this scene btw.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PJfqQErOLU

[GuruGuru214]

I don't give a rat's ass about Street Fighter and have never seen the movie, but I totally agree with you on both Mortal Kombat movies.

[WARP10CK]

Originally Posted by GuruGuru214

I don't give a rat's ass about Street Fighter and have never seen the movie, but I totally agree with you on both Mortal Kombat movies.

You should really give the street fighter movie a chance it's actually pretty hillarious. Not good by any means but still funny (the Van Damme one)

[GuruGuru214]

I just can't get interested in a video game movie about a video game series I don't play and don't want to play.

[ShaggE]

Originally Posted by GuruGuru214

I just can't get interested in a video game movie about a video game series I don't play and don't want to play.

Guile: No weapon, Bison? What happened to the purity of unarmed combat?

M. Bison: This is merely superconductor electromagnetism. Surely you've heard of it. It levitates bullet trains from Tokyo to Osaka. It levitates my desk, where I ride the saddle of the world. And it levitates... me!

Note that the above quote is played COMPLETELY straight. Street Fighter is required viewing, sir.

[Secret Fawful]

That isn't even the BEST line in the movie. Actually, the lines and the actors are the only two reasons I could ever recommend that movie. I do think everyone needs to see it at least once.

[GuruGuru214]

Ghostbusters - 7/10

I don't even know what to say about this one. I'd say it wasn't what I expected except I didn't know what to expect. It may not make the list of my favorite movies (or it wouldn't if I got off my lazy ass and wrote said list), but I did enjoy it and it was well worth the watch.

Now, from what I hear, I may be making a mistake here, but it was the two movie set that someone made me borrow...

[mgrant]

Expect very long-winded posts from me until I've finished my Disney Renaissance binge. That out of the way, let's get to it.

Aladdin: Return of Jafar 4/10. JESUS CHRIST WHO IN THE DISNEY CORPORATION LOOKED DOWN FROM ON HIGH AND SAID 'THOU SHALT INCLUDE GILBERT GOTTFRIED MUSICAL NUMBERS IN THY ALADDIN SEQUEL'?! I WILL CUT OUT THEIR HEART WITH A RUSTY SPOON. Other than the torturous musical numbers (none of which are tolerable), this...is not awful. Disney has definitely raped other classics much harder (I'm looking at youBeauty and the Beast: An Enchanted Christmas), and this is mostly just bad sequel bad. My major complaint actually is the lack of Jafar's original VA and Robin Williams (the way they handle Genie in this movie is atrocious).

Aladdin: Prince of Thieves - 6.5/10. Definitely one of the better Disney Sequels. The plot is miles better than Return of Jafar. There's a couple of musical numbers that hurt a little, but overall they're not bad. Animation's pretty good, and I have to say, props to Disney for at least maintaining Aladdin, Jasmine and the sultan's VAs solid through all three movies. Also, Jasmine gets to kick ass, which I'm totally behind and the designs for the Vanishing Isle and the den of the Forty thieves were really well done. Genie sort of still makes me want to stab myself in the ear though.

Atlantis the Lost Empire - 7.5/10 I was surprised at this movie, quite frankly. I hadn't seen it since it came out and remember it being sort of 'meh', but despite some major character derailment towards the end most of the movies quite enjoyable. It might just be that I'm a really niche academic field and making arguments that aren't really accepted at the moment, but I really, really get Milo. Also the crew is fantastically quirky and very fun until they all of a sudden turn evil for no reason in the third act and then do another face heel turn right back to good, well except the commander. You saw him being evil from like a mile away. The only way he could have been more obvious was if he was a Vizier.

Hunchback of Notre Dame - 5/10. Literally all I remembered about this movie going in was Frollo's song "Hellfire" and falling asleep for most of it when I saw it in theatres. Frollo's still probably the biggest bastard in the collection of Disney villains, and I enjoy that. It's still kind of a...'meh' movie aside from Frollo though. Not terrible, but not great. Music and visuals are par for the course in regards to the Disney Renaissance (love the use of Latin high mass hymns in the songs), VA work's fairly solid, but it just...I don't know seems to lack soul a bit.

Rescuers Down Under - 8/10. LOVE this movie. The best Disney sequel in my opinion. It's got a fantastic pace, good visuals and some really good VA work, particularly George C. Scott as McLeach the poacher, who has one line which has become a joke among my family practically since the thing hit theatres. It's also one of the few animated flicks from the Disney renaissance that wasn't a musical and that's definitely in it's favor. I don't think the movie would have worked as well with musical numbers.

Mulan - 9/10. Like Aladdin, this movie is proof that notoriously unfunny comedians can actually be good. This and Shrek are two of the movies I can count on one hand in which I actually legitimately like Eddie Murphy. It's got an interesting cast of characters though Shang is sort of boring (Disney has this problem, I'm noticing), good music and visuals. I'm starting to realize that complementing music and visuals i sort of getting redundant, but hey you notice when they're either good or bad, so I feel I'm alright in saying something bout it. Also, one of the most insanely catch songs ever.

Hercules - 8.5/10 Firstly, I have to say minor props to Disney for somehow managing to make Greek myths family friendly, even if the way they mucked about with it sort of makes the mythology nerd in me cry a little. I've hated entire movies for less, but the awesomeness that is Meg and Hades stops me on this one, that and the really gospel music approach. I enjoy this movie far, far more than I legitimately should.

[waroftheworlds01]

I saw Black Swan yesterday. It was just okay for me. As much as I love lesbian sex and watching cool special effects scenes to show off that someone is going insane the movie was average at best. I liked the effects and Natalie Portman is great in it but I'm guessing the oscar hype got the better of me on this one. I would still give at a 7 out of 10. Maybe an 8.

[DrRocketGenius]

Originally Posted by GuruGuru214

Ghostbusters - 7/10

7/10

[GuruGuru214]

I liked it. I didn't love it.

[SunnyGuy]

Originally Posted by Secret Fawful

Street Fighter Vs. Mortal Kombat

I'd tell you to watch The Legend of Chun-li to make it an equal 2vs2, but I feel it'd be completely inhumane form of torture that I wouldn't wish even on my worst enemies.

[Martin McFly]

Originally Posted by SunnyGuy

I'd tell you to watch The Legend of Chun-li to make it an equal 2vs2, but I feel it'd be completely inhumane form of torture that I wouldn't wish even on my worst enemies.

[JedExodus]

Originally Posted by DrRocketGenius

I love Ghostbusters, but I know it's not a brilliant movie. It's def worth an 8... if we're using the video game scale where seven essentially means dull and boring game

[GuruGuru214]

To me, anything above a 5 means "not bad". Giving it an 8 feels like saying I liked it more than I did, but a 7 still feels like a movie I thoroughly enjoyed, even if I didn't love it.

[SunnyGuy]

Originally Posted by Martin McFly

Yeah, pretty much. Only videogame movie I hate more is the The King of Fighters movie, and even then that's only on principle since there's no way in ****ing hell I'll ever watch that, it's too insulting to me.

[JedExodus]

Originally Posted by GuruGuru214

To me, anything above a 5 means "not bad". Giving it an 8 feels like saying I liked it more than I did, but a 7 still feels like a movie I thoroughly enjoyed, even if I didn't love it.

To me anything worth a 5 isn't really worth the watch. I try to only watch really really good movies that I think i'd like. Doesn't always work out that way, but I can dream right?

[GuruGuru214]

And this is why numbered ratings are essentially useless.

[Secret Fawful]

SCREW THIS FORUM. I had a longer reply but this forum decided it wasn't good enough for it so it deleted it. STUPID PIECE OF SHIT.

Okay, so basically I was going to say this:

I'll watch the Legend of Chun-Li. I'm going to watch the anime Street Fighter movies and series. I watched Street Fighter II: The Movie. It opens with a fight. It has a lot of fights. Even a couple of memorable ones. It wasn't an amazing Street Fighter movie, but it was a great one.

Um, let's see. John Woo's The Killer - It's like if Sergio Leone made a movie set in modern Japan about yakuza, assassins, and detectives. This is a very memorable movie, with gunfights that put The Matrix to shame. Those were the words that got me to watch it, and I'm pretty glad I did. It also has a strong, well-written emotional center, something foreign to action movies. I highly recommend this one.