Joke

[Maxwawer]

I need a short story joke for my english class. It doesn't have to be original I just need to tell it to everybody. Unfortunately I don't tell jokes so I am dry on ideas. If anybody can think of anything please help me.

[ShaggE]

The big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York. After the first day's competition, many of the winners were sitting around in the foyer of the hotel talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play. After a few drinks they started getting louder and louder until finally, the desk clerk couldn't take any more and kicked them out.

The next morning the Manager called the clerk into his office and told him there had been many complaints about his being so rude to the hotel guests....instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy. The clerk responded, "I'm sorry, but if there's one thing I can't stand, it's chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Also: The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

[Maxwawer]

I've heard of the second one before but they're both awesome jokes thanks! !

[Jake]

This reminds me of a droll story...

[Maratanos]

So BEEEP and BEEP were BEEP BEEP BEEP!



That scene in episode 4 reminds me of some of the things the soda poppers said in episode 2.

[abdallah]

Allright. So, two men walk into a bar. Youd have thought one of them would have seen it.

[Mel]

You could use this.

[IronCladChicken]

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute
thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going
to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried
and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good
joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting
pretty late.

Because Jack Handy makes me laugh for some reason
& because kids annoy me - they spend all day every day running around, shouting and demanding things - & still I'm not allowed to punch them

[Derwin]

Originally Posted by Mel

You could use this.

That is classic

Does it have to be just any short joke, or should it have a theme?

[umaiki]

Originally Posted by IronCladChicken

I was going
to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
burned-out warehouse. "Oh no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried
and cried,

You, sir, are a GENIUS! :P

[Kingsley]

Originally Posted by Jake

This reminds me of a droll story...

I get it now!

[IronCladChicken]

Originally Posted by umaiki

You, sir, are a GENIUS! :P

Me steal good

[Zachspyfox033]

Originally Posted by badboy

there was a cuba and a american and a china preson there in a curis and the american found a lamp and said im going to share it with my friends so the amrican said i wish i had my own privet jet the chiness said i wish i had my own privet island and the cuban said awawa im all alone I WISH MY FRIENDS WHERE BACK HERE!!!!!

I don't get it. What does this joke mean?

[LuigiHann]

That joke would be funnier if it were readable... Here's a similar joke:

One day three young ladies who had been shipwrecked on a desert island were walking along the beach and discovered a magic lamp. They rubbed and rubbed, and sure enough, out pops a genie.
The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."
The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."
POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
Then, the redhead says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."
POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.
The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"
The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."