TFT3K: Telltale Fanfic Theater 3000

[RingmasterJ5]

This is TFT3K, where bad fanfics are mocked by me, Alcoremortis, Remolay, StrongBrush1, Insane Guy of DOOM and various guests!

Facebook
Twitter
TVTropes
Upcoming MSTs

Season One:

Episode One: "THE HOUSE OF MADNESS MAX/THE ABILITY TO READ MINDS AND ASLO TO SEND THROUGHS TO OTHER PEOPLE" (a Sam and Max fanfic)

Episode Two, with guest commentator Coolsome: "Monkey Moon" (a Monkey Island/Sailor Moon crossover fanfic)

Episode Three, with guest commentator Lattsam: "Sam & Max meet Sonic the Hedgehog" (a Sam and Max/Sonic the Hedgehog crossover fanfic)

Episode Four: "The Adventures of Rainbow Sparkle" (a My Little Pony fanfic)

Episode Five: "im nut ok i promiss" (A My Little Pony fanfic)

Episode Six: "Zim born again" (an Invader Zim fanfic)

Episode Seven: A Whole Bunch O' Crap (various fanfics from the Invader Zim, My Little Pony, and Ace Attorney fandoms)

Episode Eight: "IZ interveiw chapter 6/Snape the Bat/SCARY GHOST STORY FETUSING CHUCK NORRIS" (an Invader Zim/Doctor Who crossover fanfic, along with two short Harry Potter fics)

Episode Nine: “Mlp:fim: The Shiping Ship/That Croppy Itching” (a My Little Pony fic, along with a short Sam and Max fic)

Episode Ten: Recap, Part One (A Hangover/Planet of the Apes crossover, along with a Big Bang Theory fic and an Invader Zim chapter)

Episode Eleven, with guest commentator Skepkitty of The Half-World: Aperture Nikki (a Portal fic)

Episode Eleven, with guest commentator Insane Guy of DOOM: Christian Humber Reloaded, Part One (Too many series to list)

Season Two:

Episode One: Invader Zim: Born Again Christian (an Invader Zim fic)

Episode Two: Killjoy Songfics (Two My Little Pony songfics)

Author MSTs(These update with every new chapter that the author makes):

Marissa-The-Writer(a Valve fanfic author), with guest-commentator Tredlow popping in for a few chapters(WARNING: PORTAL 2 SPOILERS)

DBreBre-Z(an Invader Zim fanfic author)

Sue Mary, with guest-commentator Lattsam in the second half(too many series to list)

Peter Chimaera (Too many series to list)

TFT3K Specials:

The Harry Potter First Chapter Smorgasboard, with guest-commentator Lattsam

Solo MSTs:

RingmasterJ5:

"Half-Humans" (an Invader Zim fanfic)

“Me in Invader Zim? Oh Kami” (an Invader Zim fanfic MSTd as “Automated TT Submission”)

MightypirateTM:

"It's the Inside that Counts" (a Haruhi Suzumiya fanfic)

Remolay:

"Kimagure Revenge Road" (an Orange Road fic)

"Scanranger" (a Power Rangers/Super Sentai fic)

Lattsam:

"Garfield: First Blood" (a Garfield fanfic)

Other Stuff:

Teen Fortress 2 Autocorrected, by MightypirateTM

TFT3K-inspired Total Drama Island fic, by Lattsam

[StrongBrush1]

I must warn you all, I'm playing the role of Simon Cowell.

[RingmasterJ5]

Originally Posted by StrongBrush1

I must warn you all, I'm playing the role of Simon Cowell.

That makes me Randy, Alcore Paula, and Internetakais Steven.

[RetroVortex]

I just read that first chapter, and I just have to say that its pretty hilarious.

Is this actually real?

I mean look at what we have here at the start:

- The Goth usernames are so embarassingly generic, (are there really 665 other bloodytearz out there?), I think a real goth would probaby revoke their license to brood and hate society
- Someone who can't spell tears right was entrusted with the task of assessing and correcting spelling
- "I'm a vampire but my teeth are staight and white"
I thought one of the disitinguishing features of a Vampire was their teeth.
In fact, if I met this person in real life, and they still claimed to be a vampire, then I would have to ask of proof of a combination of the following characteristics common to vampires:

Super Strength
Allergy to garlic
Weakness/death to sunlight
Ability to morph into creatures such as bats or wolves
Flight
Decreased aging
Accelerated healing of wounds
Increased sensitivity to noise
Appetite and the need for blood as sustinence
Increased sense of smell and tracking ability
Hypnotism
Not needing to breathe

- If the writer is actually a real goth, then does it seem a bit odd that a goth would have a penchant for Harry Potter.

Sure both like magic, but here's the thing, the sort of magic a goth would want probably wouldn't be taught at Hogwarts.
- I thought that Goths were all for the concept of individuality. Isn't Hogwarts sort of you know, a social environment. I mean there is the house system, which promotes a sort of collectivism.
There is a strong authority and rules system in place.
I thought goths were a bit anarchistic. At least in a passive way.
- Isn't snow AND rain at the same time kind of impossible? Yeah I know its Hogwarts, but even then you'd think the weather would be a bit more imaginative than that.
Maybe the snow could be jellybeans or something?!

- Is this a fanfic or some kind of odd and elaborate attempt to flirt on the internet.
I mean the whole A/S/L thing is there, she descibes what she is wearing and doing as well.

It makes me wonder who she was writing this for...
(maybe Gerard Way! XD)

(I took way too long writing this. In person I wouldn't be able to be that articulate, (unless I wrote myself a script or notes or something...))

[StrongBrush1]

Originally Posted by RetroVortex

I just read that first chapter, and I just have to say that its pretty hilarious.

Is this actually real?

I mean look at what we have here at the start:

- The Goth usernames are so embarassingly generic, (are there really 665 other bloodytearz out there?), I think a real goth would probaby revoke their license to brood and hate society
- Someone who can't spell tears right was entrusted with the task of assessing and correcting spelling
- "I'm a vampire but my teeth are staight and white"
I thought one of the disitinguishing features of a Vampire was their teeth.
In fact, if I met this person in real life, and they still claimed to be a vampire, then I would have to ask of proof of a combination of the following characteristics common to vampires:

Super Strength
Allergy to garlic
Weakness/death to sunlight
Ability to morph into creatures such as bats or wolves
Flight
Decreased aging
Accelerated healing of wounds
Increased sensitivity to noise
Appetite and the need for blood as sustinence
Increased sense of smell and tracking ability
Hypnotism
Not needing to breathe

- If the writer is actually a real goth, then does it seem a bit odd that a goth would have a penchant for Harry Potter.

Sure both like magic, but here's the thing, the sort of magic a goth would want probably wouldn't be taught at Hogwarts.
- I thought that Goths were all for the concept of individuality. Isn't Hogwarts sort of you know, a social environment. I mean there is the house system, which promotes a sort of collectivism.
There is a strong authority and rules system in place.
I thought goths were a bit anarchistic. At least in a passive way.
- Isn't snow AND rain at the same time kind of impossible? Yeah I know its Hogwarts, but even then you'd think the weather would be a bit more imaginative than that.
Maybe the snow could be jellybeans or something?!

- Is this a fanfic or some kind of odd and elaborate attempt to flirt on the internet.
I mean the whole A/S/L thing is there, she descibes what she is wearing and doing as well.

It makes me wonder who she was writing this for...
(maybe Gerard Way! XD)

(I took way too long writing this. In person I wouldn't be able to be that articulate, (unless I wrote myself a script or notes or something...))

Hmmm... you have excellent criticism, but you forgot one thing: ACTUAL HUMOR. How do you expect to mine comedy gold without a deadpan?

[RetroVortex]

Originally Posted by StrongBrush1

Hmmm... you have excellent criticism, but you forgot one thing: ACTUAL HUMOR. How do you expect to mine comedy gold without a deadpan?

Oh I wasn't trying to be funny.

I just really HATE bad fanfiction!

[RingmasterJ5]

Originally Posted by RetroVortex

Retro's review

By "comments" I meant something like what TFT3K did to the Max fic, not a review. Example:

Line from the fic

Your comment

Also, it has to be a PM.

[StrongBrush1]

Originally Posted by RetroVortex

Oh I wasn't trying to be funny.

And THERE'S your problem.

[RetroVortex]

Originally Posted by StrongBrush1

And THERE'S your problem.

Hehe.

Trust me, I am TERRIBLE at humour.

I'm sure fellow GOGers remember those D'n'D session where I just shouted and made constant pop culture references.

(Yeah, that was me trying to be funny. What I thought of as beign akin to Ben Elton or Oscar Wilde, actually was more like the annoying orange)

[RingmasterJ5]

Originally Posted by RetroVortex

I just shouted and made constant pop culture references.

Try it anyway, as that's basically all we do.

[StrongBrush1]

Originally Posted by RingmasterJ5

Try it anyway, as that's basically all we do.

That and hope and pray with each passing moment that whatever rancid piece of shit we're reviewing will end as soon as possible.

[Alcoremortis]

I make horrible puns that are sometimes worse than the fic! It's great fun, almost like a contest!

[Remolay]

I found it fun. I hope to join again when I actually have Internet again.(coffee shops rule).

[tredlow]

This would work better as audio commentary in my opinion. Of course, that'd be more difficult and time-consuming, but most bad fanfictions have horrible spelling and grammar, and reading them out loud is the best way to make fun of them.

Or, at least make an easier way to tell the difference between the commentaries and the actual fanfic, like Rob Bricken does with his Fan Fiction Friday.

Other than that, it's pretty funny, keep it up.

[RingmasterJ5]

Originally Posted by tredlow

This would work better as audio commentary in my opinion. Of course, that'd be more difficult and time-consuming, but most bad fanfictions have horrible spelling and grammar, and reading them out loud is the best way to make fun of them.

Due to various limitations, that's not going to happen.

Or, at least make an easier way to tell the difference between the commentaries and the actual fanfic, like Rob Bricken does with his Fan Fiction Friday.

I'll keep that in mind next time, as the new one has been already written.

Also, a new episode has been added to the original post.

[Alcoremortis]

Originally Posted by tredlow

This would work better as audio commentary in my opinion. Of course, that'd be more difficult and time-consuming, but most bad fanfictions have horrible spelling and grammar, and reading them out loud is the best way to make fun of them.

I think the FanFic Critic on youtube already does this as well. Though honestly, as a consumer of such reviews, I generally prefer written commentaries myself, because I can read faster than other people can speak, especially when they are reading unintelligible gibberish. In addition, some of the best jokes are in how the story is punctuated, where capitalization is used, etc... which does not really translate very well into spoken word. Though I am sure there must be a better way to distinguish the comments from the fic.

[tredlow]

Originally Posted by Alcoremortis

I think the FanFic Critic on youtube already does this as well. Though honestly, as a consumer of such reviews, I generally prefer written commentaries myself, because I can read faster than other people can speak, especially when they are reading unintelligible gibberish. In addition, some of the best jokes are in how the story is punctuated, where capitalization is used, etc... which does not really translate very well into spoken word.

I guess that's true. Also, most audio read-out-louds don't use commentary. They just take them word for word.

Originally Posted by Alcoremortis

Though I am sure there must be a better way to distinguish the comments from the fic.

How about instead of each commenter having different font styles, they have the same one, but their names are signed for each comment, and then the fic itself uses a different style. This way, the readers can make the distinction between the two easier. It'll look like this:

AN: Hi guyz this is my first story its what I think happens iin Portla 3!

Internetakais : Do Portla 1 and 2 even exist?

StrongBrush1: Question for the author: Just curious, what do you think will happen in “Portal” 3?

ITS MY LIFE
CHAPTER 1 RETURN TO PORTAL AN A SUPER HUGE SUPRISE!

StrongBrush1: I hate surprises, just tell me what it is now!

Internetakais : The surprise is how surprisingly awful this fic is.

Hi my name ish Marissa Roberts and I was doing tests with that other gurl Chell but she escaped.

StrongBrush1: I’m tempted to make a Katy Perry joke, but I think it would probably be too low-brow.
Alcoremortis: I already hope that this person is a troll.
Internetakais: It probably is.

Glados had captured me in the science lab places and made me do bad tests. There was no thing fun bout thetests an Glaods would never let me sleep or eat or bathroom or any thing.

[Alcoremortis]

I suppose that would probably work better. Maybe we'll use that for the next fic (since it's a bit weird to switch in the middle of one). I like it because then when I want to comment on a comment, I don't have to go back and look at the legend at the top to find out who exactly I'm commenting at.

[StrongBrush1]

All right, we've got a new style of writing.

[WarpSpeed]

Originally Posted by RingmasterJ5

Want to join in for the Potal trollfic mock?

OK, did you spell it that way on purpose?

Just wanted to say I think you all are doing a great job, and I also like the idea of standardizing your comments like that. As it is, I can't remember whose font is whose, and the bright green on white is hard to read.