Mothertongue help needed

[Diduz]

Hello!
I've written myself a bunch of missing transcripts for machinimas 3-10-11-12-13-14-15, plus the three IGF shorts. I'd like to put them on my Italian website, but I need your help to "fill in the gaps" and/or to review the text, which could be wrong. Thanks in advance to all the brave genuine american/english forum posters!

First wave:

A PAINSTAKING SEARCH

MAX: Hey Sam, this place reminds me of something!
SAM: It should, little buddy. This was the scene of our last adventure.
MAX: The one where we painted dinosaurs like trucks and ended'em in a ******* demolition-derby?
SAM: That never really happened, moron. We haven't seen a dinosaur in over a year!
MAX: Really? That long?
SAM: I was referring to our ********* capture of the terrifying manipulative and scandalously dressed villain from our previous case!
MAX: You mean the guy whose breath had a refreshing aroma of swiss cheese and sardines, right? But what we're doing here?
SAM: It seems that in the midst of the freaks (?) with that dastardly devil I've managed to misplace the keys of our office. I was hoping we could find said keys by carefully and painstakingly retracing our steps.
MAX: Or we could just kick the office door!
SAM: Well, I guess our work here is done.
MAX: Do you think I'd look good in bell-bottoms, Sam?
SAM: Only if you wear them on your head.
MAX: What did you think I meant?


WAR GAMES

SAM: B6!
MAX: Missed! H4!
SAM: Hit. Crap! You sent my *******!
MAX: They provoked me. Was ******* on board?
SAM: You'll pay for this, you unscrupulous weasel! I'm launching my anfibious attack squadrons against your electroplasma brigade!
MAX: Oh yeah? I'll counter by sending my diuretic shaolin monkeys to combat your not-so-secret secret housemade batallion!
SAM: Fiend! You've forced me to unleash my legal team!
MAX: Phoney hydrocrusaders strike force!
SAM: Cybernetic commandos wallabies!
MAX: Steroid umbrella parashoot accountants!
SAM: Mothers against responsible parading (pirating?)
MAX: Fine. Let's see how they hold up against a full-scale nuclear assault!
SAM: Ah. Wow! That was great! We should have got you elected president a long time ago! These simulations are amazing!
MAX: Simulations?
SUPERBALL: Sir, the ********** are here. They'd like a word.
MAX: How about "veranda"? I've always enjoyed that one.

THE TEAPOT DRONE SCANDAL

BUTTERFLY: Whitehouse, Agent Butterfly speaking. Yes, mr. President. Matter of National Security? You know you can count on me, sir. I'm always ready to - yes? - I'm afraid I don't copy sir - can you repeat that? That's not really in my job description, sir. But - yes - yes, sir. I understand. Stand by.
I'm a little teapot short and stout,
here's my handle, here's my spout,
when I get all steamed up then I shout:
"Tip me over and pour me out!"
Yes sir, I'm doing the ********. Yes, you can - no, I wasn't aware of that, sir. Surveillance cameras on this phone were not operational. Yes - I could do it again if you - yes, sir, certainly sir. I'll have the agency send a replacement as soon as possible.
MAX: No matter how ***** jaded I become, I never get tired of that!
SAM: Squattering (?) tax dollars for your twisted amusement makes my pruny little heart sing like a ******, though I couldn't say why.
MAX: What are tax dollars?

[Diduz]

Second wave:

SAVING THE ECONOMY

SAM: So Max, now that you're president you can finally realize your perverse lifelong dream to abolish daylight saving time! How does that feel?
MAX: I can't do it, Sam. As president, I have to take the loooong view, think about what's good for the country, the economy, that sort of thing! America needs to stay competitive.
SAM: By hoodwinking the huddle masses into waking up earlier?
MAX: Not only by extending daylight saving year-round, I've also instituted new regulations for clock manifacturers! All clocks will now run 10% slower.
SAM: Making the days 10% longer?
MAX: And businesses 10% more productive! I don't know how no one thought of that before!
SAM: Actually, I think there used to be twenty hours before the ***** administration.
MAX: And by moving the official days of summer, so it starts in april and runs all the way to february! A longer summer means more daylight hours and more barbecues!
SAM: It's funny how things sound like they make sense if you use the right words in the sentence.
MAX: I know. That's the cornerstone of my whole administration. Try this: the re-investment of future profits into the current economy will stimulate productivity and generate awesome revenue putting more money into the hands of the taxpayers!
SAM: I feel like voting with my pocketbook already!
MAX: I should have become president a long time ago. Now let's go over my enemies list again....
SAM: Okay, let's see.... Denis Leary, Denis Quaid, Denis ****, Dennis Hopper, Dennis Weaver, Denis ****, Denis The Menace....

ARTICHOKE

SAM: All right, you all know the drill. I want to see a clean press-conference, no word problems, no biting, no pulling of the ears-
MAX: - Ah, she was asking for it!
SAM: - and no mentioning of embarassing high-school nicknames! And remember: the safety word is "artichoke". Ladies and gentlemen of the press, the President of the United States!
MAX: Hello everyone! Pats ****, ******, ***** brown-jeans....
GUY: Hey!
MAX: This has been a trying time for our country, but we must never forget that America still stands for freedom, liberty, democracy and obscene wealth! - And we still make - hands down - the most gripping edge-of-your-seat television in the entire world! If we ever forget that, then all those brave decoders will have died in vain! First question.
GUY: President Max, is there any truth to the rumors that you're going to run for re-election?
MAX: No comment. I will only say that my secret campaign staff ******** and trained assassins is investigating the possibility.
GUY: In the start of your term you said: "They'll get my gun from me when they pry it from my cold, dead, floppy, white palm."
MAX: That is correct.
GUY: Recently, at a fund-raiser sponsored by "Concerned Citizens Against Bullets" you said: "Our children will never be safe unless we enact strict regulation and registration of weapons". Care to explain?
MAX: I'd like to answer that in two parts, if I may. First: you're calling me a liar?
GUY: Just asking about discrepancy, sir.
MAX: And second: RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

BOSCO

VOICE-OFF: Bosco, college drop-out. Straight C ***** average in high-school. Notorious for undertipping in local restaurants. Behind in his rent for the past four months. A credit score of only 2.15. And the man can't even parallel-park. Bosco, what kind of man are you?
MAX: So, what do you think?
SAM: I don't wanna tell you how to do your job, Max, but aren't the negative campaign ads supposed to talk about the guy who's running against you?
MAX: Are you kidding? My opponent's a genius! And I hear in the war he fought up an entire enemy tank batallion with just a shoestring and a copy of Plato's Republic! Hell, I'M voting for him!
SAM: So what did Bosco ever do to you?
MAX: Didn't you read what he said on his blog? The idea that the Wind******* can take out Ghost Dog in a fair fight. Does the man even read comic books? I mean, really.

A FIRESIDE CHAT

MAX: Oh, hello America! I've been thinking of a few words: integrity, stability, flammability!
SAM: MAX!
MAX: Yes, mostly the first two. Recently some have accused me of pettering the public opinion. They say I change my viewpoints wildly in response to criticism. At first I was shocked and outraged. But then I realized: "They make an excellent point, one with which I agree completely!" So when - I mean, IF - you'll elect me as your next president, I will show a razor-sharp focus on the important issues. In particular, the issues that affect the great state of Idaho! Times have been rough there, and I pledge to make your concerns my top priority! That's my solemn vow IF you'll elect me President!
SAM: And cut! Not bad at all. I actually started to almost kind of believe you, towards the end.
MAX: This is boring, Sam! How many more of these do we have to do?
SAM: We've talked about this, Max. Remember? The same number as there are pressure points on the human spine!
MAX: 50?
SAM: Only 49 left, buddy. Next stop, Delaware.
MAX: Well, if we're doing fireside chats, we should at least have a real fire!
SAM: Put that down and keep your hands where I can see'em!
MAX: Aaaaw.
SAM: Okay, from the top!

[Diduz]

Third wave:
You can find these three shorts here: http://www.telltalegames.com/community/blogs/id-183


INDEPENDENT GAME FESTIVAL INTRODUCTION

SAM: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and others.
MAX: We're Sam & Max, Freelance Police, and you're all under arrest for crimes against players of games and game-like devices, prepare to be cuffed and flayed alive!
SAM: Actually, Max, we're here to introduce the awards for the Independent Games Festival.
MAX: Oh, crap. I hate when people screw with my cue-cards. What's this festival, anyway? Can we gorge ourselves on sugar-encrusted ****** and practice our projectile-vomiting skills by trying to tag visitors from the Supermatic Spin-a-tron?
SAM: It's not that kind of festival, Max. The Independent Games Festival is all about celebrating innovation and recognizing those poor brave saps willing to risk in the face of plotting corporate behemoths and the pestilence of game-design apathy!
MAX: Yeah, down with the man!
SAM: You don't even know who the "man" is, melon-head!
MAX: Oh sure, Sam. Ruin my moment.
SAM: Enjoy the show, everyone!

INDEPENDENT GAME FESTIVAL INTERMISSION

JIMMY: You got nothing on me, coppers, NOTHING!
SAM: What did our perpetual perpretator do this time?
MAX: Oh, nothing. I'm just testing the independent game I'm working on.
SAM: What game is that?
MAX: I've called it "Rat-Splat", I'm still working on a couple of things on the physics engine.
SAM: I don't think you can terrorize the suspect when he's not "suspect".
JIMMY: Listen to dog-breath! I ain't done nothing!
MAX: But Sam, we need the prize money!
JIMMY: Wait a minute, you didn't mention any prize money!
SAM: No, Max. The IGF isn't about prize money, it's about having the chance to share your dreams of innovative with a gang of high-brow(?) sophisticated and under-appreciative **********.
MAX: Exactly, and what's more innovative than dropping a rat three stories to see how big a splat he makes! Extra points for cracks in the cement!
SAM: Well, knock yourself out, little buddy. I'm off to Bosco to buy some more cream *********.
JIMMY: Look here, fuzz, about that prize money- no, no! Wait!
MAX: "Rat-Splat". Test Build SPR 6.90.5. Release candidate!
JIMMY: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!
MAX: Not bad, but I think it could use a few more iterations.
JIMMY: Heeeeeeeelllllp......pleeeaseeeee....heeeeeellllll p.

INDEPENDENT GAME FESTIVAL CLOSING

SAM: How's your game, Max?
MAX: What game?
SAM: The game you're making for the IGF!
MAX: Oh, yeah, I've cancelled the project due to unforeseen developement issues.
SAM: How's that?
MAX: I missed the pavement and dropped the little weasel into a passing pretzel-cart.
SAM: So much for your burgeoning game-design career.
MAX: My experimentation in the interactive arts is awash (?), it's true, but as one story ends, a new one begins. Hopefully one involving and unsuspecting old lady, a mustard soak steamy (?) bread (?) product and a lot of fur.
SAM: That's beatiful, Max.
MAX: Thanks, Sam. Now let's get out of here. If we leave now, we can polish off (?) the ******* and get out to (?) the awards nobody cares about!
SAM: You crack me up, little buddy.

[Diduz]

Just putting the thread up again... anyone interested in helping me out?

[War-overlord]

Sure I'll help you out. As a dutchman I know how hard it can be to translate things from english to another language and how incredibly anoying
faulty translations can be. So in the quote I have, at least, tried to complete the text you already put up. I also took the liberty to correct some minor errors in the text.

Originally Posted by Diduz

A PAINSTAKING SEARCH

MAX: Hey Sam, this place reminds me of something!
SAM: It should, little buddy. This was the scene of our last adventure.
MAX: The one where we painted dinosaurs like trucks and entered them in the Pocipsy(? this is most probably an imaginary town) demolition-derby?
SAM: That never really happened, moron. We haven't seen a dinosaur in over a year!
MAX: Really? That long?
SAM: I was referring to our pursuit and capture of the terrifying manipulative and scandalously dressed villain from our previous case!
MAX: You mean the guy whose breath had a refreshing aroma of swiss cheese and sardines, right? But what we're doing here?
SAM: It seems that in the midst of the fray with that dastardly devil I've managed to misplace the keys of our office. I was hoping we could find said keys by carefully and painstakingly retracing our steps.
MAX: Or we could just kick the office door!
SAM: Well, I guess our work here is done.
MAX: Do you think I'd look good in bell-bottoms, Sam?
SAM: Only if you wear them on your head.
MAX: What did you think I meant?


WAR GAMES

SAM: B6!
MAX: Missed! H4!
SAM: Hit. Crap! You sent my USO floataila(Imaginary warship/zeppelin)!
MAX: They provoked me. Was Clayacon(imaginary person) on board?
SAM: You'll pay for this, you unscrupulous weasel! I'm launching my amfibious attack squadrons against your electroplasma brigade!
MAX: Oh yeah? I'll counter by sending my diuretic shaolin monkeys to combat your not-so-secret secret housemaid batallion!
SAM: Fiend! You've forced me to unleash my legal team!
MAX: Phoney hydrocrusaders strike force!
SAM: Cybernetic commando wallabies!
MAX: Steroid umbrella parashoot accountants!
SAM: Mothers against responsible parenting
MAX: Fine. Let's see how they hold up against a full-scale nuclear assault!
SAM: Ah. Wow! That was great! We should have got you elected president a long time ago! These simulations are amazing!
MAX: Simulations?
SUPERBALL: Sir, the joined chiefs(USA's major army-officers) are here. They'd like a word.
MAX: How about "veranda"? I've always enjoyed that one.

THE TEAPOT DRONE SCANDAL

BUTTERFLY: Whitehouse, Agent Butterfly speaking. Yes, mr. President. Matter of National Security? You know you can count on me, sir. I'm always ready to - yes? - I'm afraid I don't copy sir - can you repeat that? That's not really in my job description, sir. But - yes - yes, sir. I understand. Stand by.
I'm a little teapot short and stout,
here's my handle, here's my spout,
when I get all steamed up then I shout:
"Tip me over and pour me out!"
Yes sir, I'm doing the hand-movements. Yes, you can - no, I wasn't aware of that, sir. Surveillance cameras on this phone were not operational. Yes - I could do it again if you - yes, sir, certainly sir. I'll have the agency send a replacement as soon as possible.
MAX: No matter how adroitly jaded I become, I never get tired of that!
SAM: Squandering tax dollars for your twisted amusement makes my pruny little heart sing like a treefrog, though I couldn't say why.
MAX: What are tax dollars?

[War-overlord]

Here it goes

Originally Posted by Diduz

Second wave:

SAVING THE ECONOMY

SAM: So Max, now that you're president you can finally realize your perverse lifelong dream to abolish daylight saving time! How does that feel?
MAX: I can't do it, Sam. As president, I have to take the loooong view, think about what's good for the country, the economy, that sort of thing! America needs to stay competitive.
SAM: By hoodwinking the huddle masses into waking up earlier?
MAX: Not only by extending daylight saving year-round, I've also instituted new regulations for clock manifacturers! All clocks will now run 10% slower.
SAM: Making the days 10% longer?
MAX: And businesses 10% more productive! I don't know how no one thought of that before!
SAM: Actually, I think there used to be twenty hours before the Harding(former US president) administration.
MAX: And by moving the official days of summer, so it starts in april and runs all the way to february! A longer summer means more daylight hours and more barbecues!
SAM: It's funny how things sound like they make sense if you use the right words in the sentence.
MAX: I know. That's the cornerstone of my whole administration. Try this: the re-investment of future profits into the current economy will stimulate productivity and generate offset revenue putting more money into the hands of the taxpayers!
SAM: I feel like voting with my pocketbook already!
MAX: I should have become president a long time ago. Now let's go over my enemies list again....
SAM: Okay, let's see.... Denis Leary, Denis Quaid, Denis Thatcher, Dennis Hopper, Dennis Weaver, Denis Fronce, Denis The Menace....

ARTICHOKE

SAM: All right, you all know the drill. I want to see a clean press-conference, no word problems, no biting, no pulling of the ears-
MAX: - Ah, she was asking for it!
SAM: - and no mentioning of embarassing high-school nicknames! And remember: the safety word is "artichoke". Ladies and gentlemen of the press, the President of the United States!
MAX: Hello everyone! Pats, Carl, Señor brown-jeans....
GUY: Hey!
MAX: This has been a trying time for our country, but we must never forget that America still stands for freedom, liberty, democracy and obscene wealth! - And we still make - hands down - the most gripping edge-of-your-seat television in the entire world! If we ever forget that, then all those brave Dakotans(resident of North, South (and West) Dakota) will have died in vain! First question.
GUY: President Max, is there any truth to the rumors that you're going to run for re-election?
MAX: No comment. I will only say that my secret campaign staff and Cabal of oracles and trained assassins is investigating the possibility.
GUY: In the start of your term you said: "They'll get my gun from me when they pry it from my cold, dead, floppy, white paw."
MAX: That is correct.
GUY: Recently, at a fund-raiser sponsored by "Concerned Citizens Against Bullets" you said: "Our children will never be safe unless we enact strict regulation and registration of weapons". Care to explain?
MAX: I'd like to answer that in two parts, if I may. First: you're calling me a liar?
GUY: Just asking about discrepancy, sir.
MAX: And second: RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

BOSCO

VOICE-OFF: Bosco, college drop-out. Straight C minus average in high-school. Notorious for undertipping in local restaurants. Behind in his rent for the past four months. A credit score of only 2.15. And the man can't even parallel-park. Bosco, what kind of man are you?
MAX: So, what do you think?
SAM: I don't wanna tell you how to do your job, Max, but aren't the negative campaign ads supposed to talk about the guy who's running against you?
MAX: Are you kidding? My opponent's a genius! And I hear in the war he fought up an entire enemy tank batallion with just a shoestring and a copy of Plato's Republic! Hell, I'M voting for him!
SAM: So what did Bosco ever do to you?
MAX: Didn't you read what he said on his blog? The idea that the Winged Emancipator can take out Ghost Dog in a fair fight. Does the man even read comic books? I mean, really.

A FIRESIDE CHAT

MAX: Oh, hello America! I've been thinking of a few words: integrity, stability, flammability!
SAM: MAX!
MAX: Yes, mostly the first two. Recently some have accused me of pettering the public opinion. They say I change my viewpoints wildly in response to criticism. At first I was shocked and outraged. But then I realized: "They make an excellent point, one with which I agree completely!" So when - I mean, IF - you'll elect me as your next president, I will show a razor-sharp focus on the important issues. In particular, the issues that affect the great state of Idaho! Times have been rough there, and I pledge to make your concerns my top priority! That's my solemn vow IF you'll elect me President!
SAM: And cut! Not bad at all. I actually started to almost kind of believe you, towards the end.
MAX: This is boring, Sam! How many more of these do we have to do?
SAM: We've talked about this, Max. Remember? The same number as there are pressure points on the human spine!
MAX: 50?
SAM: Only 49 left, buddy. Next stop, Delaware.
MAX: Well, if we're doing fireside chats, we should at least have a real fire!
SAM: Put that down and keep your hands where I can see'em!
MAX: Aaaaw.
SAM: Okay, from the top!

[War-overlord]

And the last one, hope I've helped.

Originally Posted by Diduz

Third wave:

INDEPENDENT GAME FESTIVAL INTRODUCTION

SAM: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and others.
MAX: We're Sam & Max, Freelance Police, and you're all under arrest for crimes against players of games and game-like devices, prepare to be cuffed and flayed alive!
SAM: Actually, Max, we're here to introduce the awards for the Independent Games Festival.
MAX: Oh, crap. I hate when people screw with my cue-cards. What's this festival, anyway? Can we gorge ourselves on sugar-encrusted air-fluf and practice our projectile-vomiting skills by trying to tag visitors from the Supermatic Spin-a-tron?
SAM: It's not that kind of festival, Max. The Independent Games Festival is all about celebrating innovation and recognizing those poor brave saps willing to risk in the face of plotting corporate behemoths and the pestilence of game-design apathy!
MAX: Yeah, down with the man!
SAM: You don't even know who the "man" is, melon-head!
MAX: Oh sure, Sam. Ruin my moment.
SAM: Enjoy the show, everyone!

INDEPENDENT GAME FESTIVAL INTERMISSION

JIMMY: You got nothin' on me, coppers, NOTHIN'!
SAM: What did our perpetual perpretator do this time?
MAX: Oh, nothing. I'm just testing the independent game I'm working on.
SAM: What game is that?
MAX: I've called it "Rat-Splat", I'm still working on a couple of things on the physics engine.
SAM: I don't think you can terrorize the suspect when he's not "suspect".
JIMMY: Listen to dog-breath! I ain't done nothin'!
MAX: But Sam, we need the prize money!
JIMMY: Wait a minute, you didn't mention any prize money!
SAM: No, Max. The IGF isn't about prize money, it's about having the chance to share your dreams of innovative with a gagle of high-brow sophisticated and under-appreciative forum-trolls.
MAX: Exactly, and what's more innovative than dropping a rat three stories to see how big a splat he makes! Extra points for cracks in the cement!
SAM: Well, knock yourself out, little buddy. I'm off to Bosco to buy some more creamcicles.
JIMMY: Look here, fuzz, about that prize money- no, no! Wait!
MAX: "Rat-Splat". Test Build SPR 6.90.5. Release candidate!
JIMMY: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!
MAX: Not bad, but I think it could use a few more iterations.
JIMMY: Heeeeeeeelllllp......pleeeaseeeee....heeeeeellllll p.

INDEPENDENT GAME FESTIVAL CLOSING

SAM: How's your game, Max?
MAX: What game?
SAM: The game you're making for the IGF!
MAX: Oh, yeah, I've cancelled the project due to unforeseen developement issues.
SAM: How's that?
MAX: I missed the pavement and dropped the little weasel into a passing pretzel-cart.
SAM: So much for your burgeoning game-design career.
MAX: My experimentation in the interactive arts is awash , it's true, but as one story ends, a new one begins. Hopefully one involving and unsuspecting old lady, a mustard soaked steamy breadproduct and a lot of fur.
SAM: That's beatiful, Max.
MAX: Thanks, Sam. Now let's get out of here. If we leave now, we can polish off the buffet while they give out the awards nobody cares about!
SAM: You crack me up, little buddy.

[Mel]

I haven't listened to all those machinimas in a while but:

Painstaking Serach: For Pocipsy, reading it, I wonder if it isn't Poughkeepsie (which is a real place ).

War Games: It would be flotilla. Also, it's spelled amphibious.

Fireside chat: I'm not sure about pettering?

The English language can be a funky thing, for sure.

[War-overlord]

Originally Posted by Mel

Painstaking Serach: For Pocipsy, reading it, I wonder if it isn't Poughkeepsie (which is a real place ).

War Games: It would be flotilla. Also, it's spelled amphibious.

You are right there, but I could not find the right way to spell Poughkeepsie and Flottilla was a bit of a typo.(Whispers: I'm a bit of a sloppy typist)

[Diduz]

Thanks A LOT War-Overlord (and Mel) !!!!
I can't believe how stupid I was not to get some things...
You've been very kind.

[Mel]

Originally Posted by Diduz

Thanks A LOT War-Overlord (and Mel) !!!!
I can't believe how stupid I was not to get some things...
You've been very kind.

You weren't stupid. If English isn't your first language, it can be tough.

War-Overlord did the vast majority of the work. I was just the pedant and nitpicker.

[War-overlord]

No need to thank me, I must say enjoyed it. As I said before, a good translation is not easy but much apreciated. And if I can provide a service in such, I am happy to help.

[CaptainXax]

WAR GAMES:
MAX: They provoked me. Was Clayacon(imaginary person) on board?

It's actually Clay Aiken. He's a singer. Just take a good look at him and you'll see why Max wanted him blown up.

[War-overlord]

Originally Posted by CaptainXax

It's actually Clay Aiken. He's a singer. Just take a good look at him and you'll see why Max wanted him blown up.

I did not know this, but now I indeed understand why Max wants to kill him.