Jurgen on Twilight - What are his thoughts?

[Zeek]

Okay, TTG Staff. Get your writing team over here now before we start hypothetically putting words into Jurgen's maw.[/emptythreat]

Ever since the damn move came out, I have had the unfortunate pleasure of being a witness of sorts to many Twilight debates about vampire lore. Things like how you can't reinvent vampires or change things and other things. My personal opinion on the matter has shifted over the time, and now I currently don't care. It's a creative property, and if people are willing to buy into it (which some are), then more power to you.

But I can't help but wonder what Sam & Max's own vampire would think about it. How do you think he would react to the whole franchise?

[Shwoo]

I read a lot of Twilight snark at around the time I played Night of the Raving Dead. As a result, when someone says Edward, I often see Jurgen. Which is hilarious.

I don't know what Jurgen would think about it, though. Probably that they make a mockery of the darkness and despair of a vampire's life with their romance and their sparkles.

[Zeek]

Originally Posted by Shwoo

they make a mockery of the darkness and despair of a vampire's life with their romance and their sparkles.

Someone get William to record this line in character. I bet I'd get a really big laugh from hearing Jurgen say "sparkles."

[yoshimickster]

That would be so brilliant!

[metalkombat]

Jurgen would probably hate it, but I truly don't mind. I'm currently racing through Eclipse, and I think the series is genius. Everyone seems to think that vampires are copyrighted, and, like songs, can't just be stolen and used as people please. But, since they are part of ancient superstitions, they are nowhere near being copyrighted. I personally think that creatures like vampires and werewolves can be changed to fit with an author's story. My personal favorite vampire interpretation is Stephen King's, introduced in 'Salem's Lot and completed in The Dark Tower.

I'd also like to point out that vampires aren't all romance and sparkles in this series. They're now much tougher to kill (being ripped to shreds and burned, as opposed to a simple stake through the heart), and all of them, even Edward, have a pretty gruesome past. There's quite a bit more blood-sucking in this series than people give it credit for.

And that's all I have to say on that.

[Zootch]

ಠ_ಠ

I greatly disliked everything about it...

[Shwoo]

Originally Posted by Zeek

Someone get William to record this line in character. I bet I'd get a really big laugh from hearing Jurgen say "sparkles."

"They make a mockery of the life of the vampire with their 'romance' and their 'sparkles'," would probably work better for Jurgen's speech patterns, now that I'm trying to imitate them.

And now I'm imagining the Monster being really into the books and Jurgen being irritated and sulky about it. It's pretty funny.

Metalkombat, most people with a problem with Twilight dislike the books for other reasons. In addition to the flat characterisation and unoriginality things Zootch mentioned in the Xanga post he linked to, their romance is quite unhealthy, with Edward being very very controlling and Bella very very passive. The imprinting thing that werewolves do is kind of creepy, and the characters irritate some people.

And about the gore, I won't dispute you, but read Breaking Dawn. The birth scene there is extremely gory, especially for an author who doesn't watch R rated movies and is writing for teenage girls. Speaking of Breaking Dawn, the fact that Bella and Edward's half-vampire daughter is named Renesmee, and Jacob imprinted on her as soon as she was born, is another thing I've seen a lot of complaints about. It didn't help that she almost killed Bella before she was born, and she'll grow to adulthood in seven year's time.

[Badwolf]

This comic pretty much sums up my opinion of the series: http://nonadventures.com/2008/11/08/lady-and-the-vamp/


That said, I can't wait to see how they handle the 4th film, if they ever make it, and what age rating it gets.

[Zeek]

Originally Posted by Shwoo

"They make a mockery of the life of the vampire with their 'romance' and their 'sparkles'," would probably work better for Jurgen's speech patterns, now that I'm trying to imitate them.

And now I'm imagining the Monster being really into the books and Jurgen being irritated and sulky about it. It's pretty funny.

The only thing that would make that scene better is if the Monster had an animation loop where he pulls a new book out of his head to read.

I like what Moonlight said about how the steaking a vampire's heart only paralyzed them and didn't actually kill them. Of course, this is coming from the TV series that says contemporary vampires no longer sleep in coffins but in giant freezers AND have an endurance to sunlight before suffering from extreme dehydration...

[metalkombat]

*sigh*

I have to wonder how many people who posted on this thread have read the books? It's pretty obvious that some of you have, but the majority of guys dislike the books without ever having read any of them. If you haven't read the books, don't be idiots and put them down just for fun.

[octochan]

I'm female, and I'm not interested in the book nor the film. I won't put it down, but I will say that if there's a hugely popular piece of pop culture whose demographic consists largely of the under-17 crowd, I'll assume I'm not going to like it.

That being said, I'm sure that Jurgen would be a welcome and hilarious addition to any vampire-centric debate.

[Zeek]

Originally Posted by metalkombat

I have to wonder how many people who posted on this thread have read the books? It's pretty obvious that some of you have, but the majority of guys dislike the books without ever having read any of them. If you haven't read the books, don't be idiots and put them down just for fun.

While I have not read the books, putting it down for fun was not the reason. Initially, I was upset with the way vampires and sunlight interacted in the book, albeit word of mouth is how I found out. However, having nerds friends helped a lot, who pointed out all the changes in the vampire myths leading up to Twilight's changes/additions.

And now it makes sense to me.

[Will]

Vaguely relevant: Target Women: Vampires

[Daxxglax]

I have legitimately read it, and it's just... bad writing.

I mean, the characters are such Mary Sues and most of the book is Bella gushing about how perfect Edward is and how overprotective he is.

A minor annoyance: How she couldn't find a better adjective than "sparkly" and "dazzling" for vamps in sunlight

I didn't everyone gushing over his actor when he was Cedric Diggory!

[metalkombat]

Originally Posted by Daxxglax

I didn't [see] everyone gushing over his actor when he was Cedric Diggory!

That is my one problem about this series, which actually kind of turns out to be 2 problems.

Girls who've read it and love it can not shut up about it. They're either talking about the books constantly, or talking about Edward Cullen constantly. I agree, Daxxglax; I didn't hear anyone mention how incredibly, unavoidably sexy
Robert Pattinson was when he played Cedric in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

I've read (most of) the series, and I thought it was great, but I don't find it necessary to gush about it 24/7. The only time I ever really talk about it is when guys needlessly give it a bad stereotype without having read it.

[purple_monkfish]

http://shinga.deviantart.com/art/Hea...Sucks-85504254 sums it up totally

But no, in all seriousness... I tried to read the first chapter of twilight on Amazon just to see what the fuss was about. OH GOD it's horrid. Someone needs to explain to Meyers a couple of important details about writing, characters NEED DEPTH AND MOTIVATION DAMNIT!
They have neither of these things, they're flat cardboard cutouts. It's lame.

Does no-one else find the "I like to watch you sleep" thing creepy as all hell? I mean, you wake up, some guy is standing over your bed.. I don't care how hot he is, he's broken into your house to watch you sleep! that's restraining order, NOT ROMANTIC!

I'm writing a romance story on and off at the moment actually and to prepare for this, read a few articles on how to write modern romance. Oh it's hilarious to see how many of the cardinal rules have been broken by Twilight. Instant falling in love without any chemistry, over possessive male and female lead being totally dependent on him, damsel in distress syndrome... the list goes on. What is this teaching young girls about relationships? that women need men to survive? that it's ok if he's a shallow, over protective jerk who wont let you go out with your friends so long as he's pretty? Riiight.

The less said about Renesmee and the c section with teeth the better I think. What WAS the author smoking?

[Zeek]

Originally Posted by purple_monkfish

What WAS the author smoking?

DO Mormans smoke?

[purple_monkfish]

I dunno, I lost my pet Mormons or i'd ask them...
Maybe i'll ask the ones in town heh.

[Zoinker]

Sam: "That's strange. I never pegged Jurgen as one of them "Sparkly" vampires."
Max: "He's not. I'm taking this arts and crafts seminar and he "volunteered"."
Sam: "Really? where'd you get all that glitter?"
Max: "Oh, I couldn't find any, so I improvised."
Jurgen: "EVERY INCH ON MEIN BODY STINGS!!!"

[KayJay123]

Originally Posted by metalkombat

I've read (most of) the series, and I thought it was great, but I don't find it necessary to gush about it 24/7. The only time I ever really talk about it is when guys needlessly give it a bad stereotype without having read it.

Lol same here! I read all four (before the movie came out) and I loved them, but I'm not a crazy screaming fangirl. I just like em is all.
And it's not all fifteen-year-old girls reading them. College girls love them too . (. . .sometimes)

Originally Posted by Badwolf

This comic pretty much sums up my opinion of the series: http://nonadventures.com/2008/11/08/lady-and-the-vamp/

That was pretty much awesome .