Rock and roll! Hurting for cash, Strong Bad sets out to dominate the Battle Royale of the Bands. Can he rule the stage and win the big prize? Or will he be drowned out by the competition? Find out in this high-voltage episode -- with special guest stars, rock gods LIMOZEEN!
Check out the Baddest of the Bands concert page!
Strong Bad begins this adventure in his bedroom, where he's just sat down to play his new game: "Limozeen: Hot Babelien Odyssey". However, it becomes apparent fairly quickly that something is amiss with the Fun Machine. And by amiss, we mean totally-the-crap-wrong. At the same time, SB is also mysteriously swarmed by bats that depart as quickly as they appeared. Ignoring this interruption, Strong Bad realizes that he needs to get the mess of a game console over to Bubs, who is the only guy in town who can handle the Fun Machine's delicate technologies.
Before we head over there, let's have a look around the House of Strong for anything potentially useful and/or not nailed down. First, take a look in your inventory. What's that microphone doing in there?! You can use it to totally rock certain hidden packages into existence in the various locations in the game. Next, go ahead and grab the trusty Taranchula Black Metal Detector and shovel, and head over to the kitchen. Open the fridge and grab the sprayable cheese-related product in the aerosol can. Head upstairs and into the computer room. Grab the lighter from your desk, and feel free to check your email. Strong Bad has received an email about coming up with cool band names, and while this provides a bit of foreshadowing, it's not totally crucial to your mission at hand.
Wander across the hall into Strong Sad's room and see what he's up to. If you talk to him, he'll say that he doesn't have time for you today, but you should still pester him about the available topics of discussion: Himself, the Fun Machine, and the bats. On the first subject, he'll tell you that he's going to pursue his dream of becoming a snooty rock journalist (hah!). If you ask him to fix the Fun Machine, he'll just tell you to go to Bubs'. Finally, one useful bit of information he gives is in regards to the bat attack that occurred in the first scene. He's raising the Von Blaubloods, a family of fruit bats who live in a bat hutch in his room. Well, that's quite enough conversation with Strong Sad. Take a look around his room and the bathroom for some interesting-looking objects. Look at the bat hutch, camera, and the fake sword (it's in the shower). Strong Sad won't let you take any of them while he's in the room, so we'll have to circle back and get them later.
Hey! It looks like Strong Mad's room is on-limits this time around. Go in and have a chat with the big guy. He'll tell you in his own special way that he's on his way to practice with the Cool Tapes, the band he's in with Marzipan and the Cheat. Take a look at the old record on Strong Mad's dresser. Pretty awesome, yes? We'll talk more about it a little later, but for now, it will go into your inventory. Open the left side of Strong Mad's closet and you'll see a cute stuffed Dromice…dromica…meem—dinosaur—named Poodonkis. Strong Mad won't let you take it though, so perhaps we can come back and gather that once he's made his way over to Marzipan's for practice. Open the right side of Strong Mad's closet and you'll see a horrible painting that has no bearing on the plot. Apologies!
What were we doing again? That's right; we need to get the Fun Machine over to Bubs. Open up your map view and draw in Bubs' Concession Stand and Marzipan's House (this will be available after you talk to Strong Mad). Let's go talk to Bubs first.
Tell Bubs about your Fun Machine woes, and he'll gladly offer to fix it, for a price: One giant sack o' cash. Looks like Strong Bad will have to get a job and save up enough money to…wait a minute! There's got to be a better, less straight-forward way to fund the repair work. That's right: Clearly the only way to solve this problem is to host a big "Battle Royale of the Bands". Bubs is also willing to help out with this, the only requirements being the acquisition of a security force and some celebrity judges. He gives you a freshly-foot-knit security jacket and sends you on your way. Take a look at some of the items surrounding the concession stand: There's a diamond-plated record, some sort of contest flyer, and a stencil that says "SECURITY". Grab the stencil, and take a look at the flyer. You'll learn about Limozeen's album cover contest, wherein you can win a chance to meet up with the band at a place of your choosing. They'd make ideal celebrity judges, but you'll have to somehow come up with the best album cover photo ever and then mail it in.
Feel free to hunt for some of the hidden collectibles and do some exploring in the rest of the field around Bubs' and Strong Badia. When you're done, head over to Marzipan's house.
Outside Marzipan's you can see that she's installed a chic Zen garden. Go ahead and grab that big Zen rock that juts out from it, and then head on inside. You'll receive an email notice upon entering, but you can check that a little later.
Looks like Strong Sad is here, fulfilling his snooty rock journalistic dreams, while the members of Cool Tapes are busy with a practice session. Talk to Strong Sad about what he's doing there, and he'll tell you that he's looking for information on any new bands. Maybe he could be suckered into taking the job as the security guard for the concert. Talk to him about the security jacket, and use the "evil" option. Strong Bad will have his little brother nearly convinced that Security is an indie rock band on the rise, but Strong Sad says that legit bands have street teams that spread the word via guerrilla marketing. Good thing we picked up that stencil! We'll have to put it to use in a bit.
Talk to Marzipan about Cool Tapes, and she'll say that the band has been invited to perform at a benefit for the Endangered Lithuanian Albino Vegan Bat. Lame! One such bat—Pazquel—is currently residing in a cage in her living room. There's not much more to do here right now (unless you feel like checking Marzipan's answering machine), so head over to Strong Badia. If you haven't uncovered this area yet, go to Bubs' and run around the larger area until you encounter all of the familiar locations.
When you arrive at Strong Badia, you'll notice that the trademark picket fence has been defaced! Someone has come by and spray-painted the names of a bunch of different bands onto the fence. What was that Strong Sad was saying about legitimate bands having street teams and guerrilla marketing tactics? Take out that stencil of "Security" and place it on the fence. Now for the best part: Grab that trusty can of aerosol cheese and use it on the stencil. Strong Sad will appear in search of new bands to be pretentious about, and will fall into our little trap. Hand him the "Security" jacket, and he'll run (so to speak) over to Bubs' to show it off, whereupon Bubs will insist that he works security for Strong Bad's show. We still can't book any bands until we get some celebrity judges though, so let's get to work on that contest entry.
To win the contest and get the chance to meet Limozeen, you need to send in an awesome album cover. Take another look at that album cover you got from Strong Mad's room. Years ago, Strong Bad added his own creative touches to the cover, obviously rendering it the coolest album cover ever. However, the contest rules specifically state that you need to send in a photo, so we'll need to restage this somehow.
We'll need to gather the following:
To top it all off, we will also need a way to capture this image and mail it in. Let's find the ideal setting for this photo first: take a stroll around the exterior area. If you pass between the Stick and the Blubb-O's whale, you might notice a new item: there's a starfish on a stick bearing the sign "Eat at Bub's". Grab it, and proceed to the cool car.
There's a fairly massive oil slick surrounding the Gremlin, and you know what Strong Sad always says: Clean up big oil slicks by setting them on fire (Ed: he might not always say this). Use the lighter on the oil, and you'll be well on your way to an awesome album cover. Head back to Strong Bad's house; it seems like his brothers might have a few of the other items you need.
Head upstairs and into Strong Sad's room. Grab the camera sitting on his bookshelf. With this, we can take actual pictures that can be snail-mailed to Limozeen. Grab the Bat Hutch, too, because who wouldn't want to put that in their pants? Next, go into the bathroom and grab the fake sword that Strong Sad uses for his LARPing escapades. Finally, go to Strong Mad's room and grab Poodonkis out of the left side of the closet. Head back to the car.
Use the starfish and stuffed Poodonkis on the hot car. Now all that's needed is a blonde to carry the fake sword, and we've got a killer album cover photo. Blondes are pretty scarce in this town, it turns out, so we might be stuck asking Marzipan for help, *shudder*. Head over to her house.
Use the fake sword on Marzipan, and Strong Bad will ask her if she'll appear on the cover. The outcome of this conversation is a bit painful, but Strong Bad mentions that she's not the only blonde in town. What other blonde would be willing to carry out this task? Use the sword on your main man, The Cheat. He seems much more enthusiastic about it than Marzipan. Head back to the car and snap that photo (with the camera in your inventory)! Simply awesome. Time to mail it!
Return to Strong Bad's home, and drop that photo in the mailbox (sb_snailmail.exe). One circular screen wipe later, Limozeen responds, saying that Strong Bad has won the chance to meet them! Let's return to Bubs and tell him the good news.
Talk to Bubs, and tell him about Limozeen. Now that you have security and celebrity judges, he will let you know that you can start scouting for bands while he builds the stage up. He recommends booking three bands, and gives you a tip to look into the Cool Tapes, as well as Pom-Pom, who's down at the club. When asked about his old group, the Two-o-Duo, Bubs gets very upset, and doesn't want to talk about Coach Z (the other member of the duo) who he sees as a sellout. Hmm, perhaps we'll have to find some way to get those two back together. When that conversation is over, walk over to the stage construction site next to the concession stand, and talk to Bubs again. Ask him about Pom-Pom's skills, and then ask Bubs if he would be interested in competing. He'll give you a copy of the Two-O-Duo's album, and talk about how Coach Z used to be into sticking it to the man. Bubs won't compete by himself, but perhaps we can restore Coach Z's street cred and make him appear slightly less sad.
Let's go talk to him at the Track.
Ugh, Coach Z seems a bit more desperate than usual. He's stamping his logo all over rolls of toilet paper and obsessing about Marzipan. Talk to him about Marzipan, and he'll say that he's too afraid to go over and tell her about his feelings for her, and is hoping she'll give him a sign. If you ask him about the Two-o-Duo, he'll say he's much too preoccupied with other things (Marzipan, Marzipan). Let's take a look at that album that Bubs handed over. There are three highlighted tracks here:
This must be the "sticking it to the man" that Bubs was talking about. Coach Z might not have the stomach for all of these things anymore, so perhaps Strong Bad can set it up to look like Coach Z is up to his old, less pathetic shenanigans. Take a look around the locker room for any useful stuff. Grab the hanger from the shower. Check out the lockers, and you'll find a bottle of bleach, and that branded toilet paper would probably come in handy for cred-building, but Coach Z won't let you take anything else right now. Head over to Marzipan's house.
Looks like some things have changed at Marzipan's since our last visit. There's an emptied aquarium in the front yard, and a pile of glossies next to the answering machine when you enter the house. Talk to Marzipan about entering the battle of the bands, and she'll express interest, but say that they're already booked for that albino bat benefit. Perhaps if that endangered bat Pazquel had some other albino bats to associate with, he'd be, well, less endangered. It's too bad that Strong Sad's bats are ordinary old fruit bats.
Let's see if we can give Coach Z a sign that Marzipan is interested, as a way to get him out of his locker room. Pick up one of the glossy photos, and give it to Marzipan. Tell her that it's for Coach Z, and she'll (hesitantly) sign it. Return to the Track.
Hand the glossy over to Coach Z, and he'll skedaddle over to Marzipan's. You can now gather up the bleach (in the middle locker) and stamped toilet paper. Let's see what Pom-Pom is up to over at Club Technochocolate.
You'll receive another email upon entering this prestigious pwawty cloughb, but it's not super-urgent that you check it. Talk to Pom-Pom, and it'll become quite clear that he's too busy with auditions to talk (or burble) to you. Walk over to Homestar and talk to him about what's going on. Homestar says that Pom-Pom is trying to get a singer to form some kind of duo, and is looking for someone who can improvise lyrics over Pom-Pom's instrumentation. Homestar forgot his accompanying music, and is too nervous to go on, so maybe we can give him some encouragement.
Take a closer look at your surroundings. The club is scattered with tables featuring a variety of foods (some escargot, Buffalo wings, and a bottle of wine), and one table with a cooking pot. No sense in leaving a hot cooking pot empty, is there? Spray some of that aerosol cheese in there, and you'll create a pretty nice fondue.
Next to the DJ booth, a record called "Food Related Love" is propped up on a table. Take the record and place it on the turntable, and Homestar will begin his slow jam. Homestar being Homestar, though, he quickly loses his train of thought, and can't come up with a rhyme. We might need to help him pass this audition; he doesn't seem like one who can improvise on his own. Talk to him about his performance twice, and Strong Bad will offer to give visual cues to Homestar. Let's try this thing again…
Play the record once more, and pay attention to the rhymes. Each time Homestar loses his place, you will want Strong Bad to stand next to the correct food that rhymes with the end of the previous line. For instance, when Homestar says "…and it makes me want to sing" in a brief cutscene, you'll need to steer Strong Bad to the table with Buffalo wings before Homestar blanks on his line.
The order that you'll need to direct Homestar is as follows:
Homestar impresses Pom-Pom enough for them to start up a group together. Show the entry form to Pom-Pom, and Homestar will convince him to sign it. You've got a band signed up! Only two more to go. Let's figure out a way to get Cool Tapes out of their commitment to the bat activists. Return to the House of Strong.
You've got a bunch of bats already, but they're not quite Pazquel's type. Perhaps if we could do something to convince Marzipan that the Von Blaubloods are kin to the caged albino vegan variety in her living room, she'll eschew the benefit concert. Head down to the basement, and drop those bats into the washing machine. Next, let's add a little bleach (Do not try this at home). Hit the Washing Machine to get things working, and you'll soon be in possession of a gaggle of bleached bats. Return to Marzipan's.
When you arrive, you'll see that Coach Z is lurking around. We'll talk to him again in a minute. For now, head inside and give the bats to Marzipan. They'll flap around for a bit before they head out the door with Pazquel in tow. Marzipan is thoroughly impressed by this, and doesn't see the need to perform at a benefit for this now-thriving bat species. Hand her the signup form, and the Cool Tapes will be on board for the battle of the bands. Only one band to go! It's time to get Coach Z's street cred back, and reunite the Two-o-Duo.
We'll need to send Bubs on a nostalgia trip, care of a few quick frame jobs on Coach Z's behalf. Head to Marzipan's front yard, and talk to Coach Z. He's not quite sure how best to express his devotion to her, so perhaps you can give him a tip. Tell him to toss a rock at Marzipan's window to get her attention, and he'll throw one of the pebbles from the cast-aside aquarium. Hmm, it didn't seem to have the impact we wanted. Drop the Zen Rock in your inventory in the middle of the pile of rocks, and ask him to do it again. This time, he'll lob the large stone straight through (Old Man) Marzipan's window. Bubs will show up and be quite impressed by this act, but he isn't quite convinced yet. Let's stick it to the man some more. Head to the Stick.
Grab a roll of that stamped toilet paper and apply it liberally to the stick. Bubs will stroll by and see that clearly this is the work of Coach Z. He's impressed, but we still need one more act to prove that the Coach is back to his old ways. It's time to steal stuff from Bubs' own dang store. Run on over there and try to grab that diamond-plated gold record. Uh-oh! Bubs has rigged his stand with an elaborate robotic security device. Before Bubs confronts you, quickly snatch the alarm that has descended from the ceiling, and return to the Track to plant the evidence.
Use the pilfered alarm on the entrance to the Coach's office, and Strong Bad will activate the built-in homing beacon by accident. Bubs will then enter the locker rooms and realize that Coach Z must be less of a sellout than he previously thought, and wanders off humming one of the duo's classic tunes.
Return to the stage construction near the concession stand. Talk to Bubs about each band you've signed, and ask him about whether he's ready to reunite the Two-o-Duo. By now, he will be, so we're all ready for the competition!
Strong Bad will inquire about his earnings from setting up this concert, and Bubs will inform him that due to expenses, the efforts to organize the show will only net him one half of a sack of cash. In order to gain the full amount needed to fix the Fun Machine, Strong Bad will have to become an entrant in the contest himself. Unfortunately, all the cool (or reasonably less lame) people have already been signed up for other bands, so you're left with Homsar and the King of Town as your bandmates! Boo.
Oh well, pick yourself a band name (it doesn't matter which options you choose), and assess the quality of your performance; uh-oh, sounds like you guys aren't going to win on musicianship alone. It's time to get to work sabotaging the other acts!
It looks like Limozeen showed up, or rather a cardboard standee of the band with a built in webcam. Talk to the "band", and they'll explain that you need to pay attention to the Squeedily-dee-o-meter to tell who is currently winning the battle of the bands: Looks like it's a toss-up between the three non-D.O.I bands. Exit this conversation and grab the Limozeen coloring book next to the standee. Time to check out some of the other acts; let's visit the Cool Tapes first.
Sounds like the crowd loves Cool Tapes; go talk to "Limozeen" and see what they think. They dig the music, but have a problem with Marzipan's overly preachy lyrics. The scene will switch to Marzipan stating that she's against the mistreatment of sea mammals, the destruction of wetlands, and the exploitation of women in the media. What could we do with this information? Perhaps if the Cool Tapes overdid their whole political slant, they'd lose the support of the fans and judges.
Go over and grab that Billy club that's resting against the stage next to Strong Sad. After a few volts too many, head over to the next stage: Two-o-Duo.
Talk to Limozeen again about this group: It looks like the audience cares about the dance moves more than the sub-par rhyming skills of Coach Z, so if the moves go away, perhaps the crowd will as well.
Go and inspect the records next to the turntable on the stage. You can swap them around, and Coach Z will perform the dance moves in the order they appear in the box. His moves correspond to the direction or action that appears on the record title, and Bubs will call for another dance break every time you mix up the records. "Left Shift-Alt-Delete", "Roll Wit' Da' Punches", "Slide to the Right Y'all Bridesmaids", and "Doin the Wigglie" is the current mix. Our goal is to steer Coach Z in such a way that will be damaging to the overall performance. The current assortment of music is pretty tame, so we might have to dig up a couple more records to add into this collection.
Take a look at the marshy pond next to the standee. Perhaps we can cause a bit of destruction and get Marzipan up on her high horse. Use the bleach on the pond (Do not try this in real life! Please!). Strong Bad won't go through with it, because of his previous experience dealing with Marzipan's wrath. Perhaps we'll need a patsy. Use the bleach with the standee, and the fish will be killed. Perhaps we should save this moment for posterity…grab the camera out of your inventory and snap a photo of Limozeen. You now have some fairly damning evidence.
Let's head over to the remaining stage, occupied by PomStar.
Homestar seems to be waxing lyrical a bit more easily than he was at the audition; something seems a bit strange. What's with those wireless headphones, for starters? Talk to Limozeen, and they'll say that it's like Pom-Pom is somehow conveying his style and coolness through Homestar (though, using different words and imagery).
Interestingly, the Blubb-o's whale is parked here next to the Limozeen standee. What was Marzipan saying about her concern for marine mammals? She seems to be here on a break from her own performance over at the Cool Tapes stage. Show her that photo of the polluted pond. She'll be pretty upset about it, but not quite enough to affect her performance. It's time to create some more evidence: Grab the Billy club from your inventory and hand it to the Limozeen standee. Looks like you've nicely staged a bit of whale abuse, so capture a picture of that with the instant camera, and hand it over to Marzipan. We're getting closer! Let's see if there's anything we can pick up at the house.
Head into the living room and grab the box of records that Strong Sad has left out. You'll find "Hugo Left me Miserable" and "The 3 O'clock Twist", which will likely come in handy back at the Two-O-Duo stage. Proceed into Strong Bad's room, and place the Limozeen coloring book on the drawing table. What was Marzipan saying about the exploitation of women in the media? Looks like it's time for a little Teen Girl Squad misadventure! After the grizzly cutscene ends, return to the PomStar stage.
Talk to Strong Sad, and after another few thousand volts care of the taser, Strong Sad will bark into his walkie-talkie. Strangely, Homestar will repeat the words Strong Sad just spoke. It appears as though Pom-Pom has some sort of wireless set up to feed the correct lyrical stylings to Homestar. Head over to the Blubb-O's whale and "talk" to it. Coach Z and Marzipan seem highly annoyed by whatever the whale says, so perhaps we can amplify its non sequiturs somehow. Grab the hanger antenna out of your inventory and jam it into the whale's blowhole. Rotate the wire (by clicking on it) until it is pointing towards the stage, and then click on the whale. The whale's gibberish will be transported via radio wave into Homestar's brain, and he'll echo a couple of deal-breaking lines, causing the audience to turn on the formerly smooth PomStar. That's one band down, two to go.
Next, hand Marzipan the coloring book featuring Limozeen's mistreatment of the Teen Girl Squad. This is the final straw! The scene will change to the Cool Tapes stage, where Marzipan will announce that they've got a new anti-Limozeen song, which doesn't go over well with the crowd or the judges. Looks like the Uncool Tapes aren't going to win.
To complete the sabotage trifecta, head over to the Two-o-Duo stage with the records you just found.
Examine the box of records next to the turntables. Replace "Slide to the Right…" and "Doin the Wigglie" with the new records, and then arrange them in the following order:
Bubs is infuriated by this development, and immediately breaks up the Duo and storms off stage. Coach Z is left to attempt to continue the performance, but no one is all that impressed with his rhyming prowess.
All three bands have now suffered in their Squeedily-Dee ranking, but they're still all somehow marginally ahead of D. O. I., unfortunately. Strong Bad is going to have to pull out all the stops to ensure that their performance is a winner.
It's time to get started tearing up the stage and melting some faces on your way to victory and Fun Machine fix-itude. Strong Bad wants to reveal his ultimate stage prop, which can be accessed with just a push of a button. However, upon investigating said big red button, it becomes apparent that the King of Town has chewed through the electrical cable. We'll have to get Strong Bad up to the rafters to use the emergency prop release. Additionally, it looks like the powerful stage fan won't let you approach the ladder without blowing you back, and the huge speaker on top of the lighting is also in the way (hey, it wouldn't be much of an adventure game if the final puzzle was straightforward). Here's how to solve it:
First, grab the pointy helmet from the hat rack. After an awesomely unintentional slide across the stage, give the hat to Homsar. Click on Homsar again, and you'll be able to do a wicked Theremin solo, and more importantly, steer Homsar into the fuse box hanging above him. Homsar will continue to orbit the central pole of the Therimaxxx, but you will be able to directly control his distance from the pole and vertical position with the mouse or Wii remote. It might take a bit of experimentation to fully understand the controls. Your goal is to guide him up upward and with a wide enough orbit so that his new helmet spikes the fuse box. After some impressive pyrotechnics and the summoning of the bleached bats, the fan will be knocked offline. However, that speaker in the rafters is still blocking access.
Perhaps that lobster next to the King will be able to snip the rope that's keeping it secured up there. If you make a grab for it, the King will stop you, so take this opportunity to introduce the King of Town on lead guitar by clicking on him. After a short solo, he'll wail on the bucket of butter, ejecting the lobster. Go ahead and grab it, and use it on the speaker cable. The lobster can't seem to get through it, but you've attracted the King's attention again, and he'll come in swinging his axe, severing the cable and bringing the speaker crashing into the stage. Awesome!
Scurry on up the ladder and open up the curtains with the prop release lever. Uh-oh, the prop is totally obscured by bats and fog; Strong Bad will have to get rid of them somehow. Grab that buttery lobster bucket while the King is distracted, and pour its contents into the fog machine. You've inadvertently created a new favorite snack food for the King of Town: Bleached buttered bats. He'll consume all of them (again, people, do not try this, ever) and whip the crowd into a frenzy, maxing out the Squeedily-dee-o-meter. Strong Bad seems a bit miffed to lose the spotlight to the corpulent King, but his Fun Machine can now be fixed, at least.
Congratulations on beating this episode! See you in a month or so!
Here's the third installment of the Awesomeness guide, covering Baddest of the Bands. As usual, this guide is for people who want some help accomplishing all the sections detailed on their "How much I rule: a chart" charts within the game, and not a guide on how to complete the game or reveal every hidden nugget of humor. Those are located close by!
The four manual pages will appear in order, no matter which order you take the following actions:
The goal here is pretty straightforward. Punish Strong Bad physically, and you'll get points in this category. There are five sources of abuse to collect here, generally involving being beaten or electrocuted, and you must complete some of them during normal play.
While there is a lot of music to be heard in this game, there are a few noteworthy instances that will help out your score in this category. Four of them must be attained during normal play, and three are only available during extended play.
Generally speaking, points are won in this category based on characters mentioning the word "love" in conversation. Almost all of these must be gathered during normal play, during certain points of the game's plot.
This hastily licensed game is available in extended play. To maximize your awesomeness, you need to score 45,000 points or more, which can be fairly difficult, and might take you a few tries! Here are a few tips for you to keep in mind while playing: